Disclaimer: I do not own Bizenghast.
After reading vol.6, and reading a comment made by the lovely Mizz LeGrow about a lack of Edaniel/Edrear slash, I thought this up as joke, and as reference to those fics that have characters whose sexuality has already been clarified entering yaoi or yuri relationships because they think it's cute. I do not intend to offend anyone, especially Mizz LeGrow, this is just meant as a joke.
Maybe it was tension, maybe it was the heat of the moment. Or maybe it was the undying need to explore the furthest depths of their non-existent souls, together. Brother and brother.
Edrear had finally given in to his brother's repetitive come-ons. After nearly five hundred years it was becoming very, VERY tiresome. But was the need to make that weird, pointy, cat cutout thing shut up really it? Was there more to it than that?
In his human form, Edaniel was very lovely. And sparkly. Anyone would want him. And he could have anyone. But not today. Today he wanted his brother.
Of course, they weren't really brothers. Not by DNA or anything like that. But they were created together, as were their sisters Eniri and Elala. So, would it really be wrong?
They aren't supposed to feel these kind of things. At best they can fake out. But now, now they were going to fake their %^&*ing brains out.
"Are you ready?" He whispered into his brother's ear.
"I've been ready forever."
The two held one another.
And then Edrear, with every bit of courage in his being, he lowered his head to put his lips on his brother's-
"WHAT THE HELL?!"
Suddenly, the middle aged man at the computer stopped in mid-sentence when the Writer, the REAL owner of the computer, came into the room, shocked and horrified to see the overweight, balding stranger sitting at the machine.
"Who are you and what are you doing in my house?!"
"Uh, uh…" the man stammered, before he jumped out of his seat and out the window.
"I REGRET NOTHING!!" he screamed. Also, when I say "jump out of the seat", it was really stuck around his waist.
The Writer looked out the window after he heard the "BOOM", then went to the computer to see what the stranger was typing.
"What the hell is this?" The Writer said aloud before sat down to… make some revisions.
"They want Edaniel/Edrear? I'll give it to them."
…
Edaniel and Edrear laid in bed together, staring up at the ceiling, and completely horrified at what they spent the last three minutes doing. Edaniel clutched at the seats desperately, Edaniel was biting his lower lip at the memory of it.
"So…" Edaniel broke the silence. "How was it for…"
"Don't. Just, just don't." Edrear said.
There was silence for a few more seconds.
"So I'm guessing we don't tell the kids about this?" Edaniel asked.
Edrear broke into tears.
They would NEVER feel clean again.
THE END.
"Brother, all I asked was what time it was, and instead I had to sit hear and listen to what has to be the most disturbing, useless piece of drek ever to pierce my ears." Edrear screamed at his brother as the two waited for Vincent and Dinah.
"And so I'm guessing you missed the lesson." Edaniel said.
"That, that thing had a lesson?" Edrear raised an eyebrow.
"And it's one of the most important lessons a person should learn." Edaniel said.
"What?" Edrear groaned.
"Don't eat yellow snow."
Edrear began to strangle his brother.
END. FOR REAL.
With apologies to M. Alice LeGrow.