It's so cold…
Everything is cold. Empty. Dark.
Where can I go?
Nowhere.
Light wandered aimlessly around the dark abyss he woke in. Everything felt so wrong… Light couldn't even remember what happened to him, barely his own name.
Why am I here?
Light couldn't answer the question, nor could anyone else. Nobody was there to answer his question.
Why am I alone?
Light let out a choked sob, the once innocent teenager returning to his present mind. Light wandered farther into the abyss, wondering where the light was.
Was this death?
He couldn't tell. If this was death, where was the light at the end of the tunnel? The heaven or hell Christianity claimed? Reincarnation? Nothing, unless hell was not a fire purgatory, but an eternity of endless questioning.
Endless questions… That seemed worse of a hell then any god could bring upon…
God…
The word made him felt sick, disgusted, and full of hatred; but Light didn't know why. He didn't know why anything was as it was in the dark nothingness. Light let out a strangled scream of agony.
Agony that was not inflicted by pain, but the hell of confusion. The hell of being along. The hell of nothingness.
"Why… Why…"
Light didn't why himself and he doubt the darkness could answer the question himself. Tears poured out of Light's eyes as he silently begged for something. Someone.
But no one came.
Would anyone ever come?
Would anyone care?
What did he do to end up in here?
And that's when it all hit him.
Light was Kira, and this was his hell. He killed thousands of people to deserve this. He killed his best friend to deserve this. Memories flooded back to him and regret pooled into his heart- His once empty heart.
But, he still remembered the moments right before his death. He remembered seeing himself as the once innocent, bored teen.
Why couldn't he go back to that?
Seeing this outcome only showed Light one thing- he failed. L ultimately won. He lost himself to the darkness that was the Death Note. He lost himself to his own evil he hated. L beat him.
L…
Had he seen L the moments right before his death? But then, why would L want to be there for him?
Unless he wanted to see me fail and die…
Light let another choked cry. Deep down he knew he deserved all this and deserved his end. And he knew he didn't deserve L- the one person he wished he did.
The one person he wished was at the end of this abyss holding his hand out to him, calling his name sentimentally.
But that would never happen. This was Light's hell; his eternal nothingness. Light realized something in the darkness, tears flowing down his dead body-
This was what he should get.
He deserved this, and Light loathed it thoroughly. He would be lost forever. He could never go back to a family who would welcome him with open arms. He could never go back to cheery task force who always enjoyed his opinion. He could never go back to L.
Light killed L.
And L would never want him back because of it.
Light was crying in the foggy nothingness. Crying like the alone child he thought he was. But Light was never truly alone, until the day L left his life as fast as he came into it.
Light missed L more than anything else, and would take an eternity of nothingness just for L to be there with him. A selfish wish.
"Light-kun."
L's voice sounded the still, forsaken darkness. Light lifted his head in hope, but saw no L. The crushing of hope only made him cry harder.
"Light-kun."
L's voice sounded again, this time from behind him. Light turned around, and saw L the way he always remembered him right behind him.
"L…"
L held out his hand undauntingly, his gray eyes twinkling with sympathy. With that, Light didn't need an answer as to why. Light took L's hand and gave a sad smile, unlike those he gave as Kira.
Light was happy; he was with who he belonged with.
And for Light and L, that was enough.