Disclaimer: Tolkien owns it. My name is quite obviously not Tolkien, and thus I do not own it. Capiche?
A/N: Don't even ask me were this came from. I was on a caffeine high when I though it up. Haha. " Drink coffee! Do stupid things faster and with more energy!" :P
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The screams were nearly deafening.
Everywhere, men, women and children alike were running frmo what was possibly the most horrible army since Sauron.
The forks and spoons were rebelling and taking over gondor. They were led by the Sporks, a deadly combination of a fork and a spoon. Swords and axes were no good against them- they glanced off their impenetrable metal bodies, barely leaving a scratch.
And then, when noone though it could get worse, there came the GiantSporks(tm), mounted on huge brown rats, all the size of a house, showing nop mercy to anyone, followed by a fork cavalry, mounted on white mice.
It took no more than half an hour before the people of Gondor were taken and herded into pigpens, where they were fed slop twice a day. They were gaurded day and night, and whenever someone attempted an escape, the spoons were upon them in seconds, whacking and thumping them into submission.
The sporks, the obvious commanders, turned Minas Tirith into a virtual cutlery playground: Plenty of hard-ish objects for the forks to stab, and a ton of soup for the spoons to scoop.
One by one, the people of the once-majestic white city were dieing off - some from grief, some from the horrid food, and some from injuries inflicted by the Cultlery of Doom. KIng ARagorn ws one of the first to go, and Arwen quickly followed him. Within a few years, all were gone. The sporks pondered taking over a few other kingdoms, but eventually decided that it would be to much trouble to get their armies there. The Cutlery lived happily ever after, and had a ton of baby forks and spoons.
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Aragorn awoke with a start. He breifly rejoiced over it all being a dream, and then pondered where the knives all were during his dream. After a while, he realized that Arwen was gone from her side of the bed, and the sun was shining down from the middle of the sky. He jumped up out of bed, and, after getting dressed, had a burst of inspiration and headed down to the kitchens. He looked through each and every drawer holding cutlery, and was satisfied that everything was in its proper place. He strode out of the kitchens amid odd looks, and nodded to the cooks.
He was nearly to the dining hall when the screams started up and the sounds of hopping cutlery filled the halls.
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