A once pure, white conscious
Stained with bloody regret
Memories that consume
Hate that agonizes
Words that cannot be taken back
Actions that can't be undone
Hurt that can't be erased...
Torturous screams of a certain five year old
Shattering my mind
The dark crimson color of loathing
Dripping from my fingers
Covering my hands
Sanity shed on a carpeted floor
Earnestly waiting for his heart to beat no more
The innocence displayed taking no toll
Not until now; I regret it all
If I could take back
Those many years of pain
The times I beat, insulted, and screamed
Everything I said
Everything I did
All of the nightmares I put in his head
The fear I made him live in
How I wished he was dead
I feel none of that now; just want to hold him tight
To hug him, tell him I love him; that everything will be alright
He loved me despite all I did
If only I'd realized that sooner
Before all of the mistakes
All of the forgiveness, love, and even respect
If only I could repair the damage I caused
Mend that which was shattered, erase what hurt
Treat him with care, love and kindness, not like dirt..
But sadly this can never be done
I've reaped what I sowed, as has he
I'm just glad in my heart that he'll never be me