When the Bell Rings
Fanfic starring the cast of LOTR, in chibi form, in a school environment. YES it's random. Enjoy!
WARNINGS: Crackfic, humour. Rated PG for possible mature themes. I'm not sure you can get much more AU than this.
DISCLAIMER: I cannot wield the power of the ownership of LOTR. None of us can. LOTR belongs to Tolkien and Peter Jackson alone, it has no other master.
On with the story!
As the bell rang in the morning, the chibi LOTR crew ran to their seats in the classroom. Teacher Elrond came in.
"We gather here today, students, to learn about the War of the Ring."
An sound rang through the classroom. Elrond narrowed his eyes ominously.
"Is that a mobile phone I hear?"
-"Y-Yes, Sir," Frodo muttered softly. Elrond raised a finger and shouted. "CAST IT INTO THE BACKPACK FROM WHENCE IT CAME!"
The class muttered and giggled as Frodo sheepishly put the phone away.
Meanwhile, outside, Lurtz the Uruk was skipping class and feeling pretty good about it. Until he ran into Hall monitor Gandalf.
"YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"
-"Eep!" was the only sound Lurtz could utter, stumbling over his own feet as he backtracked.
"I am a servant of the deputy principal, wielder of the power to suspend! Go back to the classroom! The dark corridors will not avail you, skipper of tests!"
-"Ok ok I'm going!" Lurtz gasped, running back to the classroom.
"And why are you late?" Elrond asked as Lurtz stumbled through the door.
Lurtz, still injured from his foray with Gandalf, refused to answer.
"Sit," Elrond commanded.
"TEACHER! FRODO POKED ME IN THE EYE!"
-"Frodo, what did I tell you about bullying Sauron!"
Frodo glared at the firey eyeball before him. "Aw come on, nobody likes Sauron anyway."
-"What, just because I tried to take over the playground once now everybody hates me!" Sauron sobbed, bursting into tears. "People change, you know! I'm not like that anymore!"
"Frodo, apologise."
-"But-"
-"Do it."
Frodo sighed. "I'm sorry for poking you, Sauron."
-"Give me the ring back, too."
He handed it over reluctantly. "Here's the stupid ring."
"MYYYY…. PRECIOUUSSSSSS….."
-"Oh no, not again! It's Gollum; he's the biggest bully in the class!"
Sure enough, the scrawny figure soon came crawling through the door and grabbed the ring.
"Hey, give that back!"
-"Everyone stop fighting!" Elrond shouted.
"Seriously? Can't you all just get along for one lesson?"
-"Well I for one was not doing anything wrong," Legolas commented haughtily.
"That's right, and neither were Gimli or I," added Aragorn.
"Oh that reminds me," Elrond said, "Where have Merry and Pippin gone?"
"Right here," a ringwraith called as he dragged the two from a corner where they had been in the process of creating a stink bomb.
"We'll have none of that!" Elrond yelled. "Deputy Saruman's office! Now!" The two boys left unhappily.
"Those two," Aragorn shook his head.
He flushed as he saw his crush Arwen blow him a kiss from across the classroom.
Elrond glared at his daughter for a moment before continuing.
"Now. Can anyone tell me what caused the war of the ring?"
-"Ooh I know!" Frodo called.
-"Yes, Frodo?"
-"It was Sauron."
-"Leave me alone!"
-"Now if I may say so Mr Frodo, that weren't very nice of you," Sam said as he shot Frodo a disapproving look.
"What would you know about it, Short stuff?" Boromir laughed. His younger brother Faramir blushed.
"Boromir, that was uncalled for."
-"Well they are short!"
-"No we're not! We're actually quite tall for our age!"
-"ooh, I'd love to see how tall the rest of you are then!"
-"Shut up!"
It was at that moment that a small knock sounded on the door.
"Come in," Elrond sighed wearily.
Chibi Envy stood at the door. "Sensei Izumi wants to know if you could all shut up please. We can hear you all the way in the FMA chibi classroom and Edward's NOT appreciating the short comments."