Disclaimer: I don't own Hellsing. If I did, this is how the anime and manga would be.
Summary: This is my version of Hellsing, a fusion of all its forms. Yes, this does take place in the Lightsing universe. I'll do the same thing for FMA eventually.
Order 1: The Undead
A tall man stood in the moonlight. He was dressed oddly, large red coat, hat, duster, Victorian style suit, and red sunglasses. He was staring at the Moon with small grin. Just then, there was a female voice speaking in his head.
'Situation Report.'
The man smiled, she never bothered to be polite on duty, and often not off either. "Sorry," he said apologetically. "There's a nice moon out tonight."
'Huh-never mind. Just go to your job.'
His grin grew wider. "It really is a nice night: too bad its nights like to nights like tonight that get their bloodlust up to its peak."
(Meanwhile, at a police blockade, outside Cheddar Village)
A car pulled up to the blockade. Out of it stepped a man who looked like he was in his late sixties to early seventies. He had brown eyes, long black hair that was pulled into a ponytail, and wrinkled skin. He then went to open the passenger-side door to let out another person. It turned out to be a woman in a brown business suit with glasses, blue eyes, and long white hair. She walked up to the yellow tape.
A man in a S.W.A.T. team uniform recognized her. "Sir Hellsing, we've been waiting for you." He then lifted the tape up for the woman and her companion.
"Thank you," she answered coldly. "Where can I find the one in charge?"
"In this tent," he answered. "Thank God you've come! We have no idea what to do about this."
She walked into the tent to see a man with several S.W.A.T. members beside him. "Sir Integra!" the one in the center exclaimed. "What is going on in that village?"
Sir Hellsing grinned "You don't need to worry anymore; Hellsing is in charge now. Now, what is the situation?"
"Five hours ago we sent a team in to investigate reports of a priest attacking villagers. We lost communications three hours ago. That's all there is to say."
"Three hours? You really should have called for us sooner. Don't worry though, we have sent out our best 'problem solver', so to speak," she said, calmly taking a cigaret from a pack in her pocket, and sticking it in her mouth. She didn't light it, though, since she really was trying to quit the habit. She only put an unlit one in her mouth when she was really stressed. When she lit it though, well, let's just say it was good for everyone that she didn't have to light it very often.
"One man?" the commanding officer exclaimed, not at all relieved. "We sent an entire squad in and they haven't been able to handle this! What makes you think that your 'problem solver' can?"
"Because he is not an ordinary man." Sir Hellsing answered.
(Meanwhile, in the woods just outside of Cheddar Village.)
A young woman with pale skin, blue eyes, blond hair, and wearing a squad uniform jumped out of a tank carrying a small box. She ran over to a dark-skinned man with blond hair and wearing the same uniform as her. He was lying under a tree, clutching his arm, which had a bite on it. "Jack!" she cried when she got close to him.
"Huh? Hey, Kitten," he said, smiling weakly.
"Its okay Jack. Let me take care of this," she said, taking a small spray bottle out of the box and spraying its contents on the mark.
Jack winced a little, then he cried out. His skin began to change into a dark gray, his eyes began to glow a violet-red color, and his teeth turned into fangs. "Uhrrrrr," he said turning toward "Kitten."
She backed up from him. "Jack, what's happening? Ahhh!" she cried when she noticed another man like Jack sneaking up behind her. She then turned and ran for her life.
She stopped when she entered a clearing and saw another one like them approaching her. It was a woman this time, a civilian. "Stop, or I'll shoot," she said, taking out her gun. The woman kept on advancing toward her.
Just then, a hand shot threw the woman's heart, and she turned to dust. Behind her remains was now the man in the suit and jacket. "It's a nice night isn't it?" he asked, as if nothing where wrong. "Of course, it's especially nice when you're a creature of it," he said, grinning.
The girl fired at the man's shoulder. It was blown of but then flew back together, healing completely, even his coat. "You're not human," she said, and then turned back and ran.
"Why? Would you have not shot me if I was?" the strange man said in a low voice.
The girl kept running, not stopping until she came in sight of the church. That looks safe, she said to herself. She ran into the church and locked the door.
"Are you alright?" came a voice from behind her. She turned around to face the altar. There, standing by the pulpit was a man in the clothes worn by a priest. "The church has always offered sanctuary, for those in distress."
"Are you a priest?" She asked, bringing her gun up.
The man bowed and answered, "I am merely a guide, for the weak of heart. Now tell me what brings you here, my child."
"Well, we're on a mission to find a priest who . . . " she started to answer, but began trailing off. The priest smiled. "But, you're not like the others!" she exclaimed.
"You're referring to the ghouls outside," he answered.
"Ghouls?" she asked.
"Vampires cannot turn everyone they bite into one of their own, only a virgin of the opposite gender," he said.
"Vampires?" she asked, becoming alarmed.
"Oh yes, my dear, they do exist." He then held out his hand to her. The girl"s vision began to fade. She felt herself drawn up to him the strange priest. "I just want a loyal slave, I have no desire to create a vampire who can act on her own. A girl your age wouldn't happen to still be a virgin, would she? Ah well, no need to take chances," he said as he unzipped her vest.
The girl felt drowsy, but she was still able to get her gun up to his forehead. "Let me go, or I'll shoot, and I'll kill you, and then everyone will know."
The vampiric priest smiled. "You're feeling pain, but I"m about to take it all away from you."
Suddenly, the door was kicked down. "That's enough, Trash!" the kicker yelled.
"What the-" the priest looked up to see the strange man in the red coat. The priest looked at the newcomer strangely, "And just who the Hell are you?" he asked.
The man grinned and answered. "I'm the one who cleans up the trash, a hit man. The name's Alucard."
"A hit man eh? You don't know what you're dealing with so you?"
"No, you're not trash. Trash is much better than you. You're just scum," the man said as he stepped into the church. "Look at you, scum in priest clothes, don't you have any shame? I always knew scum couldn't feel compassion, but I thought you could at least feel shame."
The priest scowled. "I think it's time for you to die, 'Alucard,'" he snapped his fingers and a dozen men from the girl's squad appeared in the pews and raised their guns at Alucard.
Alucard seemed to take no notice of them. "You call yourself a vampire, you're more like a maggot if you ask me," he said as he took a few steps foreword. "You turn everyone you attack into a ghoul. You don't need to kill or turn everyone you bite, and you certainly don't need to bite thirteen people in one night. You're not worthy of eternal life!"
"Just kill him, already!" the priest yelled. The ghouls began to fire at Alucard. The results were horrible: Alucard lost his left eye and arm. The insane priest took sinister delight in watching it. Finally, he snapped his fingers and the ghouls stopped. "Looks like he was all bark and no bite. Ahhahahahahaha!"
The girl looked down. Alucard might not have been human, but he had tried to save her, and now he was dead.
Suddenly, Alucard blood began to flow back into his body. His arm turned into black ribbons and flew back too.
The priest stopped laughing, and looked at Alucard with sheer terror. "Impossible," he whispered. "No one can survive that, no one!"
Then Alucard himself stood up. Everything about him was black, except his coat, hat, tongue, eyes (were now red) and his teeth, which were now fangs. "You fool shooting me is a waste of ammunition! Guns and bullets can't kill a vampire!" He was now standing again, the only proof he had been shoot were his broken glasses on the floor. "Well, not ordinary guns and bullets," ha said as he pulled a large, silver gun from his coat. "The Hellsing Arms .454 Casull Auto, Joshua, is not an ordinary gun, and its bullets, thirteen millimeter explosive rounds made from the blessed silver of a cross in Langchester, are far from ordinary bullets. Now then, first the ghouls, then you." Alucard then began firing his gun, reducing every ghoul in the church to ash. He then popped the slide out of Joshua to reload it.
"Why? Why is a vampire helping a human?"
Alucard slid the new bullets into Joshua. "Why it is I protect humans and shy I serve my human master is not a story for trash like you. One reason, however, is you are a threat to humanity. You could cause some serious trouble in the foreseeable future, and I still have too many human reasons to allow that." Alucard then laid the barrel of Joshua on his arm to fire.
That was when the priest had an idea. He brought the girl in front of him. "You'll have to shoot through her to get to me, which I don't think you can, you human puppet! C'mon, don't you want the last one? I'm not asking much, just let me escape. You could even come with me! Think about it! To strong, powerful vampires, we would be invincible."
The priest kept talking, but Seras couldn't hear him anymore. She was looking Alucard right in the eye, and he was looking back at her. "Police girl, you a virgin?" he asked.
"Wha-?" the girl gasped at the personal question.
"Stop this! Are you even listening to me?" the priest yelled.
"Answer me, Police Girl!" Alucard roared.
"Yes!" she cried. "Yes, I am!"
Alucard smiled. "Oh good. That means you get a choice." Alucard pulled the trigger.
The priest dropped the girl and staggered back. Alucard quickly ran up to him and plunged his hand into the priest's heart, reducing the sinister vampire to ash. Alucard the turned to the girl lying on the floor. "I had to shoot through your liver to get to him. Fortunately for you it isn't an instantly fatal wound, but with a hole that size, you won't last much longer. So here's your choice: die or come with me."
She looked up at him unsure what to do.
He looked back and said "I can't force you into this, the decision has to be made of your own free will. So make your choice while you still have one."
Then she noticed his eyes had changed. They were softer than before. That was all that she needed. "I choose you," she said.
Alucard kneeled down and picked her up. Then, he licked some of the blood she had coughed up from her lips. Then he looked her straight in the eye. "I want you to remember that the choice was always yours," he said. "This is the part were most people close there eyes." The girl willingly complied.
(Back at the police barricade)
Sir Integra Hellsing stood at the edge of the barricade, with the old man and the officers.
"Hey," one of the officers called. "Here comes some one. Is he the guy?"
Integra smiled. At least he was able to save one of them, she thought as she saw him coming up with the girl wrapped up in a blamket. Then she switched back to a frown. "Took you long enough," she said dryly.
Alucard walked up to her. "Mission accomplished. The priest is dead. No survivors I'm afraid, sorry."
Integra and the others took on a cartoonish look of confusion. "Isn't she a survivor?" Integra asked.
The girl sat up. "No I'm already dead. Sorry," she said, grinning timidly. (The officers did a cartoon-style faint.)
Integra then noticed that the girl had red eyes and fangs. "ALUCARD!" she yelled. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?"
"I didn't have a choice," Alucard said through gritted teeth.
"Sorry, sorry, sorry," the girl said.
"Looks like the result for today is zero," the old man said with a smile.
That made Alucard start laughing. "Mwahahhaah!"
The girl turned to Sir Hellsing. "Are they always like this," she asked nervously.
"You have no idea," Sir Hellsing answered. It was a joyous and rewarding time, despite the lack of any obvious, joy or rewards.