Author's Note: I have not played either Ace Attorney or Stardew Valley. This fanfic was created based on the videos of those two games made by KitaNashGaming and KatFTWynn. If you don't know who they are you should totally check them out, they're cool ladies who make awesome vids. Without further ado please enjoy.
Ace Farmer: Turnabout Crop
Chapter One:
Welcome to Monster Farm
Honestly, it seemed like a good idea at the time. It seemed like a really good idea to finally read his dead grandfather's letter. It seemed like a good idea to promise Phoenix a quiet life together far away from the stress of the city. When Mia had commented that it would be nice to get back to a quiet life in the mountains with Lana, Mia, and Ema, it seemed like a good idea to invite them to the farm as well. It seemed like a good idea when they accepted. They all seemed like good ideas, because good ideas are good, especially when everyone involved is drunk.
And so, with all these good ideas floating inside a drunk Edgeworth's mind, he wrote a letter to Robin. Her father had been the resident carpenter when he was a young boy and he remembered she had been learning her father's craft. God, he hoped she still lived there. Along with the letter, he sent some money to add some living space for everyone. Those good ideas were so good in fact they were immediately forgotten the next morning.
Forgotten until a couple of weeks later when Edgeworth received a reply from Robin saying she would gladly get everything set up for the prosecutor and his friends. He was ready to pen her back telling her never mind he had been drunk and to just forget about the request. However, before he could put that to paper he was falsely arrested for strangling a man to death. After being found innocent by the skin of Phoenix's teeth, he said screw it. Farmers don't have to deal with attempted murders, being falsely accused of murder, or being convincingly framed for murder.
Spring 1, Year 1, 9:42 AM
Monster Farm
Stardew Valley
"It looks like the forest threw up here." Maya helpfully pointed out as the group looked on in various stages of horror at the abandoned farm. Trees littered the field, weeds were taking over, and there was some sort of abandoned building further away from the cabins. "Are you sure this use to be a working farm?"
"Sure, it's a bit overgrown, but there's some good soil underneath that mess!" Robin chirped optimistically. Ema was unconvinced as she muttered, "And what a mess it is..."
"With a little dedication you'll have it cleaned up in no time." the carpenter continued to smile, the promise of money glinting in her eyes.
"A lot of dedication." Maya whispered to Ema, who nodded in agreement. The four adults were also inclined to agree. This was definitely not what Edgeworth was expecting when he agreed to come back. It looked so different without his grandfather around to keep it up.
Suddenly, Lewis stepped out of the cabin to greet Edgeworth, "Miles, my boy! How are you?"
'Well, I guess he's not dead...' Edgeworth couldn't stop himself from thinking. Lewis clapped the taller man on the back, "You know everyone's been asking about you and your friends. It's not every day that someone new moves in and today we have five new people." He looked back at the cabin, "So... You're moving into your grandfather's old cottage. It's a good house... very 'rustic'."
"Rustic?" Robin scoffed, crossing her arms. "That's one way to put it... 'Crusty' might be a little more apt, though."
The collective thought of 'rude' swept through the new arrivals' minds. Edgeworth humphed, crossing his arms, "It wouldn't look so rustic or crusty had you used the money I sent, properly."
"You said you needed room for two couples and two teenage girls." Robin defended her choice of building three extra cabins on the farm instead of upgrading the existing one. Lewis promptly cut in to tease the carpenter, "Don't listen to her, Miles. She's just saying those things so you have to buy her house upgrades."
Robin didn't answer, just huffed in annoyance and crossed her arms. The mayor chuckled at the younger woman, turning back to Edgeworth, "You should rest for the day and introduce all your friends to rest of the town." Robin was already taking her leave, so he went to follow, stopping short to glance back at Edgeworth, "Oh, I almost forgot. If you have anything to sell, just place it in this box here. I'll come by during the night to collect your goods. Well... Good luck!"
"In the middle of the night?" Lana's eyebrows raised slightly. "That sounds sufficiently creepy."
"He's a very 'rustic' old man." Mia offered with a smile.
"You mean 'crusty'." Edgeworth corrected in the most deadpan of tones. The other five chuckled, following Edgeworth deeper into the farm.
"Mr. Edgeworth, is there a certain cabin you want us to have?" Maya quizzed, staring up at Edgeworth, making big doe eyes. He waved off her question, "I don't care which you pick. You can decide amongst yourselves which you'll get."
Maya squealed, grabbing Ema by the wrist to drag her off towards the unoccupied cabins. Mia and Lana trailed behind their younger siblings, content to have which ever cabin they left for them. Phoenix walked up the porch, careful of the hole there, before swinging the door open. He placed his fists on his hips as he took in a deep breath.
"She didn't even fix the hole in the porch." Edgeworth glared at the large hole, that seemed to be mocking him. It would break his leg if given the chance, he just knew it.
"Relax, Edgeworth," his lover reassured him from the doorway, "we can patch it later."
Edgeworth quirked an eyebrow at him, "You seem rather chipper."
"Why wouldn't I be?" Phoenix slid into the cottage, gesturing grandly to the small space. He did a heel turn, waging his finger at Edgeworth leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed, "It's true this cabin leaves a lot to be desired, but that doesn't matter. What matters is that this is the start of our new life together. Finally on the same side of the law!"
"Of the law?" both of Edgeworth's eyebrows went up, pushing himself off the door. Phoenix paled, raising his hands in defense, "Court! I meant court!"
"Sure you did." Edgeworth smirked in amusement, cupping Phoenix's chin. "Don't worry you can make it up to me later." He finished the sentence with a purr, making Phoenix blush. He could never resist the purr. It was too good! That's when Maya burst into the cabin like an excited rabbit startling the two men, "Nick, Mayor Lewis left us presents! Did you get one, too?"
"Oh, yeah." Phoenix finally noticed the small box sitting on the table. He moved away from Edgeworth to walk over to it, "I didn't even notice."
"That's cause you two were being all lovey-dovey." Ema cooed, having walked in after Maya.
"Hmph, lovey-dovey..." Edgeworth grumbled, both girls grinning up at him. He turned his head away, cheeks flushing from the attention.
"Looks like we got parsnips." Phoenix held up the packs for them to see. The girls gave disappointed looks, "That's exactly what we got."
"That doesn't surprise me. The mayor always was a stingy old codger." Edgeworth waved his hand about in the air again, leading the other three out the cabin. Outside, Lana was spreading seeds over the tilled area Mia had made.
"That was fast." Phoenix gawked at the sight, thoroughly impressed. Maya hopped off the porch looking quite proud, "Of course. Living in the mountains, we use to grow our own food. My big sis is very proficient at hoeing."
"Okay," Lana wiped the sweat from her forehead, "these are ready to be watered."
"I'll do it!" Ema volunteered, running to fill her watering can. Maya took the seeds from Phoenix to plant those as well.
"You realize," Phoenix drawled, "this isn't resting."
"There's no rest for lawyers turned farmers, Phoenix." Mia gave him one of her best sisterly smiles. She then looked to Edgeworth, "What's the plan for today?"
"I'm definitely paying Robin a visit. How does she expect me to make tea with no kitchen?" Edgeworth could not let this travesty go unchecked. How was he supposed to stare out of the window wistfully with no tea? It made no sense if he did it without tea! He then added off-handedly, "And I suppose I can introduce you to some of the towns people."
Spring 1, Year 1, 1:15 PM
Carpenter's Shop
Stardew Valley
"To upgrade your cabin with a kitchen it will cost 14,500G." Robin informed with a smile, that money glint back in her eyes.
"The money I sent you was sufficient enough to make upgrades!" Edgeworth slammed his hands down on the counter in frustration. His friends didn't even glance in his direction, having seen this move in court so many times. Robin gave a nervous smile, shrinking behind the counter, "You could chop the wood yourself and it would only cost 10,000G."
"I came here to be a farmer, not a lumberjack." Edgeworth growled while the others meandered around the store. "What happened to the rest of the money I sent?"
"I have it in the back under 'Miles' Upgrade Fund'. I'll take the 14,500G out of there so don't worry about it." she told him, only to have Edgeworth hit her with the most disbelieving look he could muster. He leaned over, glaring at the shorter woman, "And what of the bathroom?"
"I'll throw it in for free." she promised, anything to make him stop looking at her with those haunting eyes. He motioned to the group behind him chatting about different types of furniture, "And them?"
"I'll offer the same deal." the redhead forced a smile. This was really going to cut into her profits this season. Mia and Lana got the same package as Edgeworth, but the younger sisters decided they didn't need kitchens in their cabins since they would just eat with the older women. With that settled they took their leave, much to Robin's relief.
Spring 1, Year 1, 3:02 PM
Pierre's Shop
Stardew Valley
"These bean starters would be good to get." Mia mused as her and Edgeworth browsed the selection of seeds. He nodded in agreement, "We should get more of those, kale, and the cauliflower. We can get less of the potatoes and a few more parsnips."
While the two of them discussed which seeds would be best to start with, Maya was admiring the large backpack on sale. She picked up the red bag, turning it this way and that, opening and closing pockets. Finally, having decided she liked the way it looked she brought it over to Mia.
"Hey, big sis, can I have this? It'd be really useful to carry stuff around. Like those seeds." she made her case before Mia could object. Mia smiled, patting Maya's head, much to the younger Faye's annoyance, "Are you sure you don't want to be a lawyer when you grow up?"
"I have to become a full fledged spirit medium before I can really decide what I want to do for the rest of my life." Maya ducked away from her sister's hand, puffing out her cheeks.
Meanwhile, Ema was reading the ingredients on the back of a fertilizer bag. She scribbled down notes in one of her books, glasses over her eyes, "This fertilizer is really basic. I bet I could make something better. I just need to do some scientific investigating."
"Or you could just buy the fertilizer." the Frenchman suggested with a nervous smile. "It would be faster."
"But not very cost effective." Ema added in a matter-of-fact tone as she placed a bag of fertilizer on the counter. "And we are cost effective at our farm."
"Didn't you just move in?" Pierre quirked an eyebrow.
"Doesn't mean we can't be cost effective." Ema argued, sticking to her point with a huff. Pierre could tell this girl was going to cut into the profits he was banking on with the new farmers moving in.
Spring 1, Year 1, 6:47 PM
Road to Farm
Stardew Valley
"Mr. Edgeworth, why is the farm called Monster Farm?" Maya quizzed as she peered up at the former prosecutor.
"Once the sun goes down, you'll see." he answered rather ominously. Everyone exchanged worried glances behind him.
Spring 1, Year 1, 7:04 PM
Monster Farm
Stardew Valley
It started as a trickle, a small thing, an insignificant event. A single bat swooped out of a tree, diving towards Ema. Maya, thinking quickly, grabbed the scythe resting against the cabin, swiping at the winged creature. For some reason the bat seemed unfazed and stayed on the offensive.
"You'd think a bat being attacked by a scythe would go away." Maya huffed, keeping herself between the bat and her best friend. As though understanding the young girl the bat flew off back towards the trees.
"Hey," Ema peered around Maya, "I think it heard you!"
"Well, I am a spirit medium in training." Maya boasted, putting the sickle on her shoulder. "I am sort of one with nature."
The trickle now became a storm. The single bat had went to gather its' colony and they were angry. Mia pushed Wright forward, almost causing him to stumble, "Do something, Phoenix."
"Oh, um, r-right." He took a step, not sure what he could do.
"Use this." Ema handed him an ax.
"Yeah, Nick, throw it at 'em!" Maya suggested.
"Here goes nothing." Phoenix reared the ax back over his head, then chucked it with all his strength at the bats. They split and the ax landed harmlessly against a rock with a rather sullen thud.
"Did you really think that would work?" Lana crossed her arms as if what she was doing, which was absolutely nothing, was any better.
"I don't see you doing anything." Phoenix accused to which she merely shrugged, "I'm not outfitted with the proper weaponry to be of any assistance."
"Sounds like an excuse to me." Phoenix muttered in annoyance. Why was this woman always so unhelpful? Thankfully, Edgeworth picked this time to come out of the cabin he had disappeared in to when this whole thing started.
"Lana." he called to the former prosecutor, tossing her a scimitar from the porch. She caught the sword easily, stepping pass the others to deflect the bats. Okay, maybe she was much less unhelpful when given a sword.
The creatures of the night were not happy with this and reformed to perform another assault. This attempt went even more poorly as Edgeworth took his place beside Lana with his own talwar in hand to help defend the group.
The colony swooped in, loosing a couple of members due to Edgeworth and Lana. While those two fought off the bats, the other four sat on the porch, clapping with each slain bat. Edgeworth rolled his eyes, another bat biting the dust, "Would the peanut gallery please refrain from making so much noise?"
"But you and Lana look so cool." Ema defended her noise making. Edgeworth huffed, his cheeks darkening slightly. Phoenix chuckled, his boyfriend was too cute when he blushed.
"Looks like they've given up." Lana announced, moving to meet the rest of the group. Everyone looked around and sure enough the bats had left for good.
"They'll be back tomorrow night." Edgeworth assured his fellow farmers.
"Where did you learn to do that?" Maya quizzed, changing the subject to something less horrifying.
"I use to help my grandfather with his monster problem when I was a lad." he explained casually as if fighting monsters was a normal thing for farmers to do.
"What about you, Lana? Where did you learn to use a sword?" Ema asked her sister.
"I was captain of my fencing group in university." she smiled, something she was still getting use to.
"You won a few competitions while we were in university, too, didn't you, Lana?" Mia looked up, tapping her finger against her cheek in thought.
"Only one," her smile turned embarrassed, "or five."
"Perhaps we should turn in for the night before more show up." Edgeworth suggested as he walked up the steps to his 'new' home. The others nodded, glancing around nervously for more monsters. It didn't take long for them to get to their respective cabins.
Spring 1, Year 1, 10:21 PM
Monster Farm – Main Cabin
Stardew Valley
"I forgot how exhausting these people are." Edgeworth sighed, laying out his clothes for the next day. His eyes shifted around the room, "I also forgot how small this place is."
"It's cozy." Phoenix stretched out in the smaller bed.
"Cozy..." Edgeworth muttered, unconvinced. He turned to his lover, "My first apartment was cozy. This is tiny."
"It'll get bigger." Phoenix promised with a smile. Edgeworth scoffed, "Yes, that money grabbing vulture will make sure of that."
He slipped into the bed, Phoenix latching onto him in that way that he hated, but also loved. Phoenix always was good at causing Edgeworth to have such confusing emotions.
"Why come back if you don't like the people here?" Phoenix already sounded half asleep as he laid his head against Edgeworth's shoulder.
"I don't like most people no matter where I go." Edgeworth scoffed again, looping his arm around Phoenix's waist to pull him closer. Phoenix nuzzled into his neck, "You like me."
"Barely." Edgeworth smirked, kissing the other man's forehead. Phoenix muttered something incoherent, finally nodding off to dream land. Edgeworth waited a few moments just listening to Phoenix's breathing to make sure he was really asleep before admitting to the empty air, "I love you."
With those words said he allowed himself to fall asleep. Dreams of a thriving farm filled his head. Crops danced in the wind, cows chewed lazily on the grass, and slimes terrorized Phoenix. Yes, indeed their new life would certainly be interesting.
Bonus:
Lewis sipped on his morning coffee as he checked on the bulletin board at Pierre's shop. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary until he noticed a rather large paper with bold red letters. It read as follows:
Attention Everyone:
Phoenix Wright is my lover. All of you heathens can stop ogling him.
Sincerely,
Miles Edgeworth
Lewis took another sip. Really that man was just as dramatic now as he was as a lad. Well, whatever. He shrugged, making his way to Marnie's place.
Bonus, Bonus:
Lewis blinked, rubbing his eyes to make sure he was seeing properly. Next to the poster from the previous day was a new one with bold black lettering. This new read as follows:
Attention Everyone:
Mia Faye is my lover. All of you heathens can stop ogling her.
Sincerely,
Lana Skye
Lewis chuckled, sipping his coffee. These new farmers were going to make this sleepy town rather lively.
End Author's Note: This fic will not be updated regularly. Everyone in my home shares one computer and that makes it hard to type when I want. But I will be working on it when I can.