Shattered Tears

By Bee M. Witowski

I can't be around you, Touya, it just…it just hurts too much. I just…I can't. Thought the girl as she strolled through the woods, thinking she was alone. Suddenly, she heard a twig snap behind her and whipped around. Nobody was there…. Or so she thought. She shrugged her shoulder and continued down the path, shoving her hands in her pockets, quietly humming a cryptic, almost eerie song her father used to use to lull her to sleep, before all of the horrors began.

Touya is the ice master of the shinobi of the spirit world. His team, Mashoutsukai, competed in the Anbu Bujutsukai (Dark Tournament), hoping to claim the island it was held on as their own. They had spent most of their lives in darkness, so over time, they developed a desire for the light. Touya is perhaps the one who desires it the most, for of his team, he is probably the most mature and experienced. He despises cowardly and dishonorable acts. He stood up to Risho, the team leader, when Risho tried to win against Team Urameshi using low and cowardly means.

Touya returns later in the series during the Makai Tournament saga. He makes it past the preliminaries, but is defeated by one of Raizen's old friends. Before his fight, he gives Kurama the answer to a question Kurama had asked him during the Dark Tournament. Kurama had asked him what he would do after he found the light. At the time, Touya had no answer, replying simply that the light came first. Now he has his answer; he will fight.

The girl had suffered a lot of pain and loss in her life, more than a normal small girl should. Her mother and her father and divorced long before she had even turned two. Her mother had married an old brute, who used to abuse the girl, mentally, emotionally, physically, and sexually abuse the girl at age five. Touya and Jin killed him, but not for the reasons here, the ugly human had wronged Touya's father, and the punishment was death. The girl thought her troubles were over, but she was wrong. The deaths in her life were only just beginning. She couldn't even thank the persons that had helped her so much even before she met them because she never knew that they were helping her.

Soon after, her father and all of her brothers and sisters were killed in a fire. Detectives could never identify what had started the mass crimson flames. The girl knew better, she forever blamed herself for not being able to control her flames from hell when she was angry. In her eyes, it was a choice to be angry, so once when asked what her fears where, she replied with a shrug, "Nothing." But inside she thought, "My fears? I think I killed my family." Once the girl turned eleven, the girl and her mother couldn't stand each other; there had never been a deeper case of loathing. They fought constantly, they didn't even have to be in the same room and they pissed each other off.

Her mother's new husband didn't help any, if anything he made things worse. He just created tension, because he and the girl didn't get along either, and everybody knew it. The man was in her life for seven years, the girl occasionally wished them ill under her breath, but she was shocked, felt guilty for feeling happy, when she finally got her wish. But as do all bad things, her dysfunctional family came to an abrupt end one night in May. The terrible parents died of alcohol poisoning. The girl knew her parents drank too much, but she never had the courage to tell them this, or the will to. She never thought her wish would come to this.

Stumbling through the woods, that cool May evening, she wasn't looking where she was going and ran smack dab into a man dressed all in white, with long ears that twitched with every sound received. Red, messy bed-head like the crimson flames that burned inside the girl, also the ones she had the power to create in her hands.

He turned around, and she saw his face. He threw back his head and let out a menacing laugh. That was two years ago

The girl's name was Nina, and someone was shouting it repeatedly. Until the girl saw something glowing straight ahead. "Father!" she called out and ran toward the glowing image, her thoughts on Touya, momentarily forgotten. "Father! Its Me, Nina! Father!" The more she ran towards it, the more it moved away. "Father, take me with you!" Tears began to drip down her pale cheeks, sizzling with an angry hissing noise, as she whispered "Father." With that, she fell to her knees. Tears falling she felt as strong gust of wind behind her and she whipped around, still on her knees.

The demon with wild blue eyes, and exciting red hair stood before her. She looked like she was having a little trouble standing, but because of past experiences, he didn't help. Once on her feet, she gingerly walked two steps towards the redhead and passed out cold. The demon caught her easily and picked her up bridal style. "You really over did it this time, didn't you, Lass?" Jin chuckled and took to the sky.

Touya met Jin in the Hallway as he still carried the girl. "She ran away again, didn't she?" asked the ice demon.

Jin shrugged. "Seems so." He said in his thick, Irish accent, while passing Nina into the care of his friend.

"Damn it," said Touya as he took her, "I wonder why." His fingers danced on her neck, causing her eyes to shoot open in shock. "Sorry" he apologized, "You looked so peaceful; I just had to wake you." Nina gasped when she realized whose arms were supporting her. She instantly began to squirm. "Be still" Touya commanded, a small smirk rising on his face. "I'm not going to drop you." He chuckled.

"Put me down!" she ordered, Touya easily set her feet flat on the ground and she released the grasp she had around his neck. She stood defiantly….for about three seconds anyway. Her knees buckled under her. Touya caught her and hugged her to his chest. "I'm f……fr…..freezing" she muttered as Touya yelped out in pain. They gave each other quizzical looks.

"You're burning up" exclaimed Touya, but the girl was already fast asleep. Touya took his hands and pressed them to her forehead, to bring her fever down. Her heart along with her forehead were burning with fire, a little flames inside her palms, causing Touya to adjust her in his arms. Also, so she would stop burning his skin. He laid Nina gently on the couch. Her body curled into a small ball and she hugged the pillow, thinking it was Touya. She didn't look like she would wake any time soon, she had exhausted herself.

"Why does she keep running away?" Touya asked. He and Jin were in the room next to where Nina was resting, what they didn't know was that she could hear every word.

"Don't look at me, she is closer to you." Jin defended, raising his hands.

"Used to be," muttered the ice apparition, Jin raised an eyebrow at him. "She is just so withdrawn, quiet and lonely." Touya sighed. "I just wish I knew what was hurting her." He paused, "and why does she faint so easily?"

Jin shrugged and held up his hands while smirking with an I-know-something-you-don't-know sort of look. "Talk to her."

"But…"

"Talk to her" Jin pressed and soared out the window. Touya sighed, and walked to the slightly open door. He peaked out, Nina faked sleep. Touya closed his eyes, and opened them again, walking toward the couch. He was determined to sit there until she awoke. Nina felt weight being put on the mattress and she stirred. Nina carefully opened her eyes and turned her head to the side.

"Hey Touya," she grunted, averting her eyes.

"Nina" he breathed, "we need to talk." Her eyes blinked and then met his; she pulled herself into an upright position.

"About…" Touya gave her the look and she instantly averted her gaze, her 'relationship' with Touya was very hard to understand. With Jin, it was easy. He was like an older brother, always watching over her and keeping her safe. Touya on the other hand, it was a bit more complicated. Yes, he was there for her like Jin was, but he also at times set rules for her…almost like a father, but only…not. Nina felt something more for the ice demon, though she'd never tell him. The 18-year-old stared deep into Touya's eyes. "Oh."

"What were you doing out in the woods again, Nina?"

"It's peaceful out there."

Touya shook his head, her innocence made him smile. He remembered when Nina had first come to them, passed out at the sight of Jin. When she awoke, she was delirious, only Touya had been able to calm her. His smile quickly drooped off his face.

"It's dangerous out there!" he scolded.

"So?"

Touya wanted to reach over and shake her, this is how she had been for the past two years: questioning everything. At first, it had annoyed the Shinobi, but he had to admit, she had more fire in her spirit than he had given her credit for, and he had grown attached to her. "So!" he exploded. "Nina, Jin and I don't want to loose you! You think I want the next time Jin carries you in is when you are no longer breathing!?!" He yelled, making the brunette jump. A single tear stained her pale skin. Touya instantly realized his mistake. As she tried to blink it away, and force a smile, he said softly, "Oh Nina, I'm sorry, please, don't cry. I didn't mean it like that…. Please don't cry." He tried to wipe away the tear, but she jerked her head violently away. He caught the tear as if it were in slow motion. And froze it with out her noticing. He held on to it, he would add it to the rest later.

"Touya…" she sighed and closed her eyes. "Maybe…Maybe…it would be best for everyone….if I just…left. You'd never have to see me again… I just cause…"

"Don't you say it!" commanded Touya, "Don't you dare say it." Nina looked at him, she choked back the tears as he almost whispered, "Don't. Say. Heartache." She tried to break the stare, but Touya wouldn't let her. He placed his index finger under her chin and made her look him in the eye. They had gone through this argument several times in the last year, but this in the last year, but this was the first time that Touya sounded close to tears. He continued to hold his index finger under her chin and took her hand with his other. "You have lived through heartache, more than anyone should. Nina, you listen to me. You are not the cause of Jin's and my suffering, the only way that could happen is if you left us completely. I…I just don't think we could bear it." Nina nodded, she almost told him….but only almost.

Touya collected all the tears after Nina had left the room, he did everytime, but Nina never knew it.

(TWO MONTHS LATER)

Nina furiously kicked and punched invisible opponentsas she exercised outside in the hot, sun wearing a light blue sports bra and baggy gray sweats. When she felt she had had enough, she began to run at top speed around the house, which technically should be called a mansion. Four laps equaled one mile, and she ran around it 24 times. She was going to go for 25, but her lungs gave way and she crumpled to the ground, breathing heavily. She literally crawled over to a nearby tree and rested her back on a the scratching trunk. Touya popped out from behind a tree and startled Nina. He plopped down beside her. "Hey little love" that was Touya's nick-name but, not even Nina knew why. "Jin and I are going to go mess around at the city pool, want to come?" Nina had to laugh a little on the inside. As old as Touya and Jin were, when it came to fun, they never acted a day older than 17.

"What? Yeah Touya, so you can make people sick by changing the water temperature and Jin can create hurricane? COUNT ME IN!" Nina thought, but what she said was, "No, I think I'll pass." I just….I just can't….cant tell you…"

Touya stared deep into her eyes as if he was trying to peer inside her, and said "Nina, why do you keep wearing yourself out? You're not the same as you used to be." He frowned.

"What?" Nina snapped, "You mean weak, vulnerable and fat like I used to be? Well, if that's the case, I'm glad I've changed!"

Touya rolled his eyes. "You know that's not what I meant. I mean...now your only focus is on completely kicking yourself into overdrive mode, and throwing yourself into everything you do. You push yourself more and more each day, you only break for sleep and food. Even your sleep is becoming limited. Don't think Jin and I haven't noticed. I…we are concerned."

"Place your concern elsewhere, Touya," she snapped, eyes flaring. It was at that exact moment, Touya knew Nina was hiding something. Normally she would just shrug her shoulders and mumble don't worry about me. But she was really pushing to keep him out this time, but Touya was way too persistent, not to mention, nosy, to give up now.

"Why do you do it?" he whispered.

"Do what?" she groaned, getting annoyed really quickly.

"Do I really have to say 'what'?" Touya asked in a 'scolding' voice. Nina threw her head back and let out a loud groan. "I…My heart is cold," she paused. "That's why, okay, you satisfied?"

"No." Joked Touya. "Wait…what?"

"You heard me" she grumbled as she banged her head up against the tree trunk until Touya stopped her. Then he reached over and placed his hand between her breasts, admitting coral colored spirit energy. "No, now your heart is cold."

Nina cried out in shock, swatting his hand away, muttering a few choice words of profanity at him. While giving him a dirty look, she replied. "Just go away, Touya." Now she was really annoyed.

The man made her look at him as he said sternly, but gently, "Not a chance." He paused and Nina shot daggers at him with her eyes. "Glare at me all you want." Touya retorted, "but, I'm not going away until you tell me whats hurting you so deeply" he gently took her hand. Nina noted that he always seemed to do that at the worst possible times. Nina's emotional block instantly came down a peg or two.

"Do you really want to know?" in response, Touya just squeezed her hand. "I'm in love with you, Touya." She blurted quickly. She suddenly lost all her steam and turned away, feeling very foolish, as her words faded out. "There, I said it. Now you know."

Touya was shocked. "You what?"

"I'm in love with you, Touya." Nina repeated sheepishly.

"That's impossible."

"I've loved you ever since that I fell off Jin's shoulders in the sky and you caught me…and I don't know…You looked into my eyes…and I just….I just knew." She paused, kicking her toe into the dirt. "But… I knew it would hurt your feelings and you wouldn't like me anymore…I figured it was just easier to throw myself into everything else. You know, try and bury my feelings."

Touya blinked. "I…I don't know what to say."

"What could you say?" she asked sheepishly.

"I…I love you, too?"

Nina's head snapped to attention. "Why didn't you ever say anything?"

"Why didn't you?"

"I.."

"I…"

"I was afraid you didn't." Nina had tears welling in her eyes as they both said the same thing. Touya held her in his strong arms.

"Oh Nina….what is it…Nina please don't cry."

"I love you Touya….I love you."

"I love you, too…" but her tears did not disappear, he held her to his chest. "Shhh…" he lifted hr chin with his index finger. "I don't ever want to see you cry again, understand me?"

Touya reached into his pocket and pulled out a collection of what looked to be Nina's tears that he had turned to ice. He squeezed his palm shut and the ice crystals in his hand shattered with a satifing crunch, stressing the point.

"Yes Touya, I know that now. I will come to you with the truth."

"I'll be here" his finger never left her chin as his other hand wrapped around her slim waist.

(shanobi is a master of an element)