A/N: Hello people! Well, this is going to be my first one shot, so go easy
on me. Oh yeah, if you don't know, here are the characters that are in the
fic and where they are from:
The Holiday Sock - You all should know who this is, you know the sock that is always on the WB on Christmas? If you don't, go tell it to someone who cares!
Santa's:
Joe and Young Gennai. - If you don't know who these guys are, you are completely helpless.
Yami/Yugi- Well, you should know, but I'll tell you anyway. The guy that is always in blue leather on Yu-Gi-Oh, that's Yami, and the vertically challenged one is Yugi. Both the same person.
Yue- The Cardcaptor guy with the long white hair, he's also some what bitchy.
Sailor Uranus- The dykie "supposed girl" with short blonde hair from Sailor Moon.
Kai- The sexy blader from Beyblade. Spiky sliver/blue haired guy that is well.cold hearted.
Brock- The pervert that never seems to open his eyes, from pokemon.
Link- The main guy in the video game " The legend of Zelda: Ocarina of time/ Majoras mask." Please note, he can't talk.
Kids:
Cody-..helpless.
Sailor Mini Moon- The pink haired girl from Sailor Moon. Also is vertically challenged.
Hamtaro- The hamster that can read his owners mind, from Hamtaro. They we're intelligent naming this show.
Suzie- The abnormal child that has a speech impairment, I think you all know whom I'm talking about.
Mariah- The other pink haired girl, but this time she is normal in height wise, from the show Beyblade.
Bokomon and Neemon- Well the gruesome twosome from 04 have come, one having both the intelligence and creativity of this story, thus meaning none. Other has a fetish with pulling pants.
Anakin- Little blonde boy that I made up, but some have other ideas.
Rebecca- The little blonde girl from Yu-Gi-Oh that was convinced that Yugi's Grandpa stole a Duel card. Short, but still taller then Yugi.
Okay that took up a lot of your time, oh and please note, this was totally pointless. So I'll shut my trap and get on with the story. Oh yeah, everyone is OOC, and I admit I made fun of some of them, okay most of them, but I did warn you before so don't hate me!!
Disclaimer: I own nothing in this fic, no Yami, no pokemon, not even a talking hamster. This giving you no right to sue.
" A Santa star is born, or so we hope."
Joe Kido slowly made his way to the local mall, in hopes that he will soon
have a winter job. It was December 15, and of course everyone knows what
that means: Fighting with an old lady for the last Power Ranger doll, for
You're supposed " Little brother" for Christmas.
" Of course I'm not the type to do this sort of thing, Tai would be much better at this then I am." He thought to himself as he reached for the door
that led to the mall. He barely had the door half way open when someone bumped into him.
" Oh sorry Joe! You see, I'm late, I'm late, I'm very very late!" Yelled the figure that Joe recognized as Obi-Wan Kanobi.
" Gennai? Is that you? What are you doing here in the real world and not in the digital world?!" He yelled as he and Gennai got into the doors to get warmer.
" Well to your first question, yes Joe it is me, and as to how I am here, well, let's just say that I am on a mission." Gennai explained, looking around the mall.
" A mission? What kind-"
" WOW! Look there is absolutely no one in here! I wonder why?" Gennai stated, cutting Joe off.
Joe looked around the mall to find it completely deserted.
" Your right, strictly speaking it should be packed, as it's almost Christmas." He pointed out, and then changed the subject. " But why are you at a mall?"
Gennai looked somewhat uncomfortable now. " Well you see, I am
auditioning for the Santa that they have here, you know always need the extra money and I just love seeing the little children smile."
" WHAT!! But you don't use real money in the digital world! " Joe said looking shocked.
" Oh yeah, well, um, so hey what are you doing here young Joe? He asked, ignoring his question.
" Well, I'm doing the same thing, you know, more money for Christmas." " Yeah right Joe! More like that life size Pink Power Ranger doll." He
thought to himself smiling and hoping that his lame excuse would work. Thankfully Gennai nodded.
" Well as it seems that we are late so I guess it's best we start on our journey."
Joe nodded and followed behind Gennai, when a thought struck him. " Where are we supposed to go?"
Gennai suddenly stopped and turned to Joe, looking totally confused.
" Well, I guess we go to the North Pole, dipshit. Really I swear that you're getting dumber." He replied, looking proud of himself.
" Oh haha, so funny. I think we should just go to the big red chair in the middle of the store." Joe said now leading the way.
"Oh you are right! I think I see a pole! And what is so funny?" He asked, but Joe decided to not to answer.
As soon as they got there it was obvious to Joe that Gennai was not the worst dressed.
There was about six others there, some wearing what looked like dresses and short skirts, while others where too short for human height and wore leather.
Joe walked up to the nearest guy that was leaning on a wall with his eyes closed, but he still looked the sanest, that and he did not wear a dress.
" Hi there! Is this where the Santa try-outs are?" Joe asked him politely.
The guy stood, still silent.
Gennai poked Joe in the back. " He might be deaf, or a narcoleptic." He replied.
He nodded and spoke to him again, this time louder: "IS..THIS..THE..SANTA..AUDITIONS?"
The response from him was a fist colliding with Joe's jaw.
" Well, you did get his attention, I'll give you that." Gennai said as Joe screamed like a girl.
Joe looked up from where he now lay on the ground and stared at the guy.
" What the hell did you do that for?!" He asked, clearly pissed off.
The guy opened one eye to look at the pathetic victim.
" You talk too loud." Came his reply.
" What's your name?" Joe asked as he got off the floor.
" Why should I tell you?"
" Because I'm going to report you!"
" I know a way to settle this. I challenge you to a Beybattle!" He exclaimed, as he pulled out from his pocket what looked like a spin-top.
" What's this? Bey.battle? Joe asked quizzically.
" A Beyblade battle, everyone knows about Beyblades! It's the most popular game in the world!"
Joe opened his mouth to reply, but yet again was cut off.
" Beyblading? I've never even heard of it! Everyone knows that Duel Monsters are the most popular!" Came a voice.
" Who said that?" Asked Gennai looking around.
" Me! Right here!" Said the voice.
" I can't see anyone." Replied Joe as he scanned the crowed.
" Right down here dammit!"
Joe, Gennai, and the unknown guy looked down.down..down.down to find a VERY SMALL human being wearing the blue leather.
"Hey guy's! It usually takes people a while to find me." He explained giving a very cheesy grin.
" Um, hello little boy, you know, Santa is not going to be here till tomorrow, do you want me too find your mommy?" Joe asked, holding a hand out to the boy.
The little boy looked horrified at the sight of this.
" I'M NOT A LITTLE BOY! I'M FOURTEEN!!" He yelled at them.
"Oh sorry dude, I didn-" Joe started, but was still unable to finish his sentence.
" Little one, do you know of the Force?" Gennai asked, pushing Joe aside and kneeling very low to the ground to look at the "teen".
" What the hell are you on?" He asked, looking scared.
" Guess not." Gennai sighed getting off the floor.
The guy that was still leaning on the wall finally spoke. " Why are you so short if you're fourteen?" He asked.
The boy started to sniff. " I'm..(Sniff)..quite sensitive (Sniff)..about my height. I was (Sniff)..born this way." He managed to say, still sniffling.
"He's sorry, um..uh.. I don't think I've introduced myself, I'm Joe, and this is Gennai, and this is.No damn clue." Joe stated, glad not to be cut off for a change
"Hi! I'm Yugi. Do you duel?" He asked, now smiling.
" WHAT?! That's way to dangerous for me!" Joe yelled.
" No, no, not that! I mean Duel Monsters?" Yugi explained.
They all shook their heads, even including the silent one.
" The card game." He continued.
...Silence..
" You know! " It's time to duel!"
..Silence...
" The most exciting thing to do!"
...Silence...Except for.
" Hey! You must be talking about Pokemon!" Someone shouted though the crowed.
Joe, Gennai, Yugi, and the silent one turned their heads to the speaker.
Out came a tall boy that had dark brown skin, and brown hair. As he walked he kept on bumping into anything and anyone.
" Oh just what we need, a blind one." Joe sighed.
" Hi there! I thought I heard you talking about Pokemon!" He said, talking to the tree that was next to them.
" Uh..Over here." Yugi replied.
He turned around and finally looked at them, sill squinting at the figures.
" Oh hi! It take's me some time to see people. I'm Brock by the way." He explained.
" Why don't you open your eyes?" Replied the silent one.
" Like you should talk." Joe muttered under his breath.
The teen scratched his head. " Hmmm.never tried it, well guess there's no time like the present!" He yelled and opened his eyes, causing everyone to look at them, and not in a good way.
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! BURNING!! BURNING!!! MY EYES!! MY EYES!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
Brock screamed at the top of his lungs and ran to the nearest thing that looked like a bottle and poured it in his eyes, causing him to scream more, but still continued to pour it into his eyes.
" Man that's gotta hurt!" Joe exclaimed.
" Yeah, should we tell him that's Peroxide?" Asked Yugi.
" Let him be, he knows what he's doing." Gennai said.
After about two minutes of Brock's screaming, he returned back to them, now a blonde.
"Ahhhh..much better! Now back to girls- I mean Pokemon!" He said giving a nervous laugh.
" Yeah, about that. What is a Pokemon?" Yugi asked.
Brock stared at him giving him a blank look.
" Oh yeah, like you don't know."
"But we really don't! So would you damn well mind telling us?!" Joe asked, clearly pissed off at being so confused.
" Fine, fine don't get your panties in a bunch! Mmmm.panties." Brock started to drool, but pulled himself together at the sight of their faces.
" I'll show you then!" He yelled as the rest watched him pull out what looked like a red and white pool ball.
" Ohh..What are you going to do with that? Throw it at my forehead?" Replied the silent one.
Brock ignored his statement and thru it.
" GO ONIX!"
Whatever they thought a Pokemon was, it wasn't this.
It looked as if rocks had somehow came to life and grew eyes, not a good sight for unknown people too see this, especially Joe.
" AAAHHH!!! DIGIMON ATTACK!! EVEYONE RUN!! He yelled and ran in a circle.
" Oh that's nothing! I'll kill it with my Lightsab." Gennai started but stopped. " Dammit! I didn't bring it!"
"Oh shut-up!" Screamed the silent one and launched his "Beyblade" at the pile of live rocks.
Brock smiled. " You'll have to do more then that to stop my- WHAT!!" He yelled at that moment for as soon as the " Beyblade" hit the " Onix" It crumbled into a pile of dust.
" Well I'll be damned." Said Brock as the pile of rocks disappeared with a "Poof".
" Are they usually that weak? I mean, that was pathetic." Said yet another voice.
" Where are you?" Said Joe, now having enough sense to look down, but found no one.
" I'm right here." Said the voice behind Gennai, causing him to jump, at both the voice and the sight.
" Great, a Drag Queen." Sighed the silent one.
The figure was of either a VERY feminine man, or a VERY manly girl that wore a short blue skirt and a white top that was attached.
" I heard that Kai." He/she said.
" How did you know my name?" He asked surprised.
" I know all." He/she replied to him.
Gennai stepped in front of Kai and spoke to the Drag. " Then you must know of the Force! Please tell us your name!" He exclaimed.
" Of your first question, I have not a clue of this " Force", and as to my name, you may just call me Sailor Uranus." He/she said, causing Brock to speak up.
" Well, we've just met, but-"
" He, uh, she didn't mean that you sicko!" Yelled Yugi.
" So, you a chick or a guy?" Kai asked, getting to the whole point of talking to this freak.
" That, is of no importance, the only reason I'm here is because I'm searching for someone.or something." Sailor Uranus responded.
" Really? You too?" Gennai asked, looking excited.
He/she decided to ignore his question, and turned to look at the rest.
" Do you know of the other two over there?" He/she asked, gesturing over his/her shoulder.
They looked to where he/she gestured. There was what looked like a guy in a white dress and long white hair that was standing alone with his eyes closed, across from him was a guy that wore mostly green practicing moves with a sword.
They all shook their heads no, except for Brock.
" I think I talked to them," He replied, trying to focus his eyes on them,
" yeah, the guy in the white hair just slept when I asked him his name, and the other..well he just looked like he was about to cry and ran off." He explained, looking slightly confused.
" Anyway, um, when does this thing start? The guy should have been here awhile ago." Joe said, wanting to change the subject.
At that moment, the lights in the building turned off. " What the." Kai started, but someone cut in.
" Hello future Santa's!" Came a high girly voice from the darkness, and then
continued. "Before we do anything more I think we should have a sing-along! Ready? Three, two, one!
' I'm your host and there's a rule, at- AAAAHHHHHHHHH!! WHO'S DAMN BEYBLADE IS THIS?! The girl yelled just before the lights turned on.
Right on Santa's chair sat what looked like a deformed sock with black eyes and a black mouth, on top of it was the Beyblade.
" HELP!! I can't breath!!" It yelled, the guy in the green (who was the closest) ran up and took the Beyblade off the live sock.
" It's about time dumbass!" The thing yelled and sat up on the chair.
" Beyblade, come to me." Kai whispered beside Joe, causing the Beyblade to fly out of the guy in green hands and into his.
" Now that's some scary shit!" Yelled the sock looking stunned. " Anyway,
as I see we have some objections to the singing thing, I'll introduce myself: You may call me the Holiday Sock, or Mr. Socks! Now would you please
mind telling me your names, you must do this to compete to be Santa! Let's start with you." He said, looking at Brock.
"Um..Brock. But hey sweet cakes, if you don't like it, I'll change it." He replied, smiling.
" I'm a damn sock! Don't judge the voice!" He spat back.
" Curse these eyes!"
" Whatever, what about you?" Mr. Socks said, looking at Joe.
" Joe. And this is Gennai." He replied, nodding at Gennai.
"I'm Sailor Uranus. And the silent one is Kai." He/she said.
" I'm Yugi! Nice to meet ya Mr.!"
" Who said that?" Asked the sock.
" I did!" Yugi yelled.
" I don't see anyone!"
" Um.Mr. Socks, you have to look down more." Joe explained.
He did look down, down, down. " Ah! There you are. Next!" He looked over to the white haired one.
The guy sighed. " They call me Yue." He said, with his eyes still closed.
The guy in green looked up at him, but said nothing.
" Hmm. his name is Link." Gennai quickly said.
" And how may I ask, do you know that?" Mr. Socks asked.
" I know all." He replied.
" Bull-shit! I do!" Sailor Uranus exclaimed at him.
" Oh shut-up! Everyone knows that I am the All and Powerful Sock! Now let's get started, I have brought with me some children that are from your worlds- "
" Our worlds?" Asked Yugi.
" Oops! Said too much, no, no, no, from your schools! Yes, from your
schools! What I will do is judge you each separately, you will put on your
Santa suits if you brought one, if not, I have some. Then we will sit the twerp on your knee, and you know the rest!"
With that, the sock jumped off the Santa chair and called out; "Okay we'll
start with you, uh, Joe! The rest of you Drags, Vertically challenged, Mute people go get some damn coffee! Ya look like hell! And don't come back till I call your name either!"
With that, everyone excluding Joe went out to the stores in the mall.
" Well, did ya bring a suit?! The Holiday Sock yelled, bringing Joe back to reality.
" Uh, no I didn't." He replied.
" Well then, go to the men's crapper and there should be a Santa suit there. It should fit."
Ten minutes later Joe sat in a big red chair in a big red suit, beard, boots, and all.
" Yes nice, nice, but the blue hair will have to go though!" The Holiday Sock exclaimed.
" What?! I not shaving my head! Or dyeing it white!" Joe yelled at him.
" Bring out the shrimp!" He spat, pretending not to hear Joe.
A little girl that looked about 8 or 9 with blonde hair that was in pigtails came around the corner. She stopped in front of Joe and stood there, smiling.
" What do I do now?" Joe asked Mr. Socks.
" Well, what do ya think you do?! Sit the thing on your lap!" He yelled at him as he attempted to write on a piece of paper with his mouth.
" Hello little one! Do you want to sit on my lap?" He asked while patting his knees.
The girl looked at the stuffed bear that she held.
" What do you think Teddy? Should we sit on his lap?" She asked giggling. She tucked the harmless stuffy under her arm and sat on Joe's lap.
" Uh..Hello, what is your name little girl?' He asked her.
" My name's Rebecca, isn't that right Teddy?"
" Uh yeah, so have you been a good girl this year?" He asked her as she hugged ' Teddy'.
" Of course I have! I'm never bad! Right Teddy? You just have it in for me don't you?! She screamed.
" No, no. Um, never mind that. Uh, what do you want for Christmas?" He asked in a calming voice.
" I want another Teddy just like this one to keep him company, and then I want the Blue Eyes White Dragon you stole from me Santa!!"
" Okay then, I'll get you. What! I didn't steal anything from you!" Joe proclaimed.
" Yes you did! Both Teddy and me saw you take it last year!! Didn't we Teddy?"
" Did not!" Joe yelled.
" Did too!"
" Did not!"
" Did too!"
" Did."
" Okay that's it! Thanks for coming Joe; I'll phone you if ya get the job! Right now, I need some damn Aspirin!" Mr. Socks spat as he hopped away in search of some drugs, leaving Joe with the psychotic girl and the innocent bear.
" Well, Santa's very busy so I'll see you next year." Joe said as he attempted to get the girl off his lap, no such luck.
" Will you give me my Blue Eyes White Dragon now?" She asked.
" I already told you I don't have the damned thing!"
" Fine then, Teddy, sick-em!" She yelled, holding the bear out.
" Oh yeah, I'm ssoooo- AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! Joe burst out as the ' Teddy' jumped up and started gnawing at his neck.
" Good job Ted, our work here is done."
~~~~~5 minutes later~~~~~
" YO! Jedi dude! Your up!" The Holiday Sock yelled at Gennai.
" Alright then." He replied before he left the row of Anakin Skywalker dolls.
" You have a suit, or whatever ya wanna wear?" Mr. Socks asked, looking at Gennai's wardrobe.
" Yes, I left it in the men's lavatory, shall I change now?" He asked.
" Yeah, yeah, you do that." Mr. Socks replied.
Before Gennai reached the bathroom doors he turned to Mr. Socks.
" Do you happen to know where my apprentice is?" He questioned.
" Your apprentice? Who the hell is that?"
" A young youth that goes by the name of ' Joe'." He explained.
" Oh, that kid.Well when I came back to talk to 'em, he was running out the doors yelling about a possessed Teddy." He said.
" Hmmm. I see the Dark side is up to there same old tricks." Gennai said sadly.
" The What side?" Mr. Socks asked.
" Oh never mind, I'll go put on my robes." He replied as he went though the doors.
Five minutes later Gennai returned to the Santa chair, now fully 'robed'.
" What the hell is that?" Mr. Socks asked when he saw him
It was pretty much the same thing Gennai always wore, long robes. But this time it was red and white, he had black sandals on and what looked like a children's nightcap.
" It's my robes, you like?"
" Sure, uh, sit on the chair and put on the beard that's on the chair."
Gennai did as he was told; he never questioned a talking sock.
" Bring the damned thing in!" Mr. Socks yelled around the corner.
Out came a small blonde boy of about 8, he wore a plain white top and white cargo pants. ( AN: Just picture Cody's outfit but looser pants, okay?)
" Oh my Yoda!" Gennai gasped.
The boy stopped in front of Gennai with a blank look on his face.
" Oh, um, want to sit on Santa's lap, son?" He asked.
The boy nodded and jumped on his lap.
" Hello there, what might your name be?" Gennai asked the boy.
" Anakin". Replied the boy, causing Gennai's jaw to drop.
" Anakin, what in interesting name, tell me dear boy what is of your age?"
" I'm almost nine." He said.
" Nine! Splendid!"
" Ahum! Get on with the program!" Mr. Socks whispered from behind the chair.
" Oh yeah, what would you like for Christmas little Anakin?" Gennai asked.
" Ah...I want a Lightsaber so I can be a Jedi!! Have you ever seen the movies?!" He exclaimed.
" YES!! I knew you where the one!! Let us go train!" Gennai yelled as he picked the helpless kid up and ran out the doors.
" WAIT!! YOUR NOT SUPOSSED TO KIDNAPP THE CUSTUMER!! STOP IN THE NAME OF YODA!! Mr. Socks yelled at the running figure, but it made no attempts to stop.
" Oh great! Just great." Mr. Socks said to himself.
" First a guy nearly gets killed only god knows how, and then a Star Wars freak kidnaps a customer. (Sigh) Man, I going to get the pants sued off me, oh wait, I don't wear pants. Oh well, NEXT!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
" Okay, Yugi. Well, I'll just come out and say it. YOU'RE TOO DAMN SHORT!" Mr. Socks yelled at the small figure.
Yugi looked down at his red leather Santa suit, trying not to cry.
" But Mr. Socks, I really wanted this job." He replied.
" Trust me, you would get teased incredibly by the kids if the Santa's that short.
" Really?" Yugi asked.
" Sure as hell." Mr. Socks replied.
" What if I did something about that?" Yugi questioned, looking up.
" Uh, what would you do? I can't wait till ya hit a growth spurt." The sock stated.
" Hmm.. We'll see about that. YU-GI-OH!!!"
" What! Where the hell is that glowing white light coming from?" AAAHHHH!!!! Why are you different?! And tall?!" Mr. Socks Exclaimed, looking at the person in front of him.
Yugi still had the red leather Santa suit on, the same hair, but looked much older, and a whole lot taller.
" I can easily say that my day won't get anywhere near normal." Mr. Socks said to himself as the ' Old Yugi' sat on the red chair.
" Who are you?' Mr. Socks asked the taller one.
" I have many names, Pharaoh, Yugi, but most people call me Yami." He said, and said no more.
" Uh, yeah okay, let's have the Spawn of Satan then!" Mr. Socks yelled over to the corner.
Yet again, a girl with pink hair that was in pigtails that wore a small blue skirt and a white top came into view.
"What am I supposed to do?" Yami asked Mr. Socks.
" Well, put her on your lap and ask her name!" Mr. Socks said from behind the chair.
" Come here little person." Yami told the girl.
The girl came over to him and held her arms open.
" What?" Yami asked her.
" Pick me up!!!" She yelled.
Yami grabbed onto her arm and heaved her onto his lap.
" OUCH! That hurt!" She yelled and hit him on the chest.
" What is your name?" He asked.
" Why should I tell you?" She asked.
" Because I'm the King of games!" He stated.
" Oh yeah? Well I'm Sailor Mini Moon!"
" Who's that?" Yami asked her.
" If you were the real Santa you would have known! All you are is an imposture!!" She yelled and ripped off his beard.
" Now that hurt! You're starting to annoy me, Sailor Mini moon!!" Yami half shouted.
" NO!! You're annoying ME, Mr. King of Aids!!
" OKAY THAT'S IT!!" Yami yelled as he quickly got off the chair causing 'Mini Moon' too fall onto the ground.
" I'M GONNA SUE YOU!!" The girl yelled.
" That's IT! I'm leaving! I don't want this damn job! How could Yugi even think of doing this?!" With that he ran out of the doors.
" Well, that went well." Mr. Socks replied.
" What do you mean THAT WENT WELL??!! I could have been killed by that freak!" Mini Moon yelled and she too ran out the doors.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
" Okay local freaks! Three of the nut's are gone, so let's have the Pervert now!" Mr. Socks announced. After about ten minutes later, the Perv formally known as Brock came towards the chair, already in a Santa suit.
" What took you so long?" Mr. Socks snapped.
" Well, I am somewhat blind." He reminded him.
" Oh yeah, that's right. Anyway, go sit on the chair." He said.
"Okay, so is this a girl or a guy?" Brock asked as he sat down.
" Shut-up, here she is."
A girl came into view with again pink hair that was tied in a ponytail; she wore white pants and a white tank top that was laced with pink.
Unfortunately the pink hair was not good for her sake, because it was clear that Brock could see her better because of the brightness.
" Well hello there! Why don't you come and sit on Santa's knee?" He asked patting his lap.
The girl sighed and jumped onto his lap, looking scared.
" Well hello there sweet-cakes! What might your name be?" Brock asked smiling evilly.
" Uh..Mariah." She said sounding unsure.
" Well Mariah, have you been a bad girl this year?"
" Hey!! Do NOT hit on the customers!" Mr. Socks yelled from behind the chair as usual.
" Uh, Wow! Look at the time! I have to get to a Beybattle, bye!" Mariah replied as she attempted to get off his lap, but being unsuccessful.
" Hmmm..I think not, I may be blind but I can still see how much you love me, how 'bout we get out of here?" Brock asked the disturbed girl.
" What the hell! Okay this is totally not worth the twenty bucks!" She yelled finally being able to struggle free of Brocks death grip.
" Hey babe! Don't leave me! I'm a handicapped! You wouldn't leave a disabled guy would ya?" Brock yelled as he made a grab for the girl's waist.
" AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! HELP ME!!" Mariah screamed.
" BROCK!! DON'T MOLEASTE THE CUSTUMERS!!" Mr. Socks yelled at him as he ran out the door after the disturbed girl.
" Well, that could have been worse." The sock said to himself, and then glanced down at his list.
" Kai! Your up! And don't bring your damn Beyblade!"
Five minutes later, he finally showed up, still in his same clothes.
" Need a suit?" The Holiday Sock asked.
" No." He replied as he sat down in the chair.
" You have to where to wear one!" Mr. Socks proclaimed.
" Are you arguing with ME?" Kai asked.
" Did you bring your Beyblade?"
" No shit Sherlock."
" Okay then, no prob! You just get comfy there and I'll get the Dwarf." He said.
" Okay, you can come in now!!" Mr. Socks yelled over to the corner.
Around the corner came a girl that wore mostly pink, she has brown hair and she held what looked like a rabbit/dog like stuffy.
" Well, pick her up!..uh if that's okay with you?" Mr. Socks asked in a nervous voice, causing Kai to sigh.
" Well? You going to sit on my lap or are you too stupid to do that?" He asked her.
The little girl quickly jumped onto his lap, afraid of being screamed at if she didn't.
" So, you have a name?" Kai asked as he frowned at all the pink she was wearing.
" Muy names Suzie!! And thuis is Wopmon!!" She tried to pronounce, and pointed at the doll.
" Oh that's nice kid. Now what the hell so you want for Christmas? Shotgun? Axe? An Easy Bake Oven?" Kai asked.
Suzie looked confused. " An Etsy Buake Oven?"
" Yeah, I think your dumb enough to lock yourself in there and hopefully suffocate." He replied.
" Hmm.Actaally I want duh Madgic Prindcess Wand. A Barbiy Daweem House. Balay dshoes. And a pink Dwess for Wopmon!!" She exclaimed.
" What the hell did you just say?" He asked, looking annoyed.
" Id Swaid-"
" Okay never mind! Damn! How can your parent's even listen to you talk?" Kai asked.
" Duay utually don't, buit Wopmon dous!" She yelled, hugging her stuffy tightly.
" Little girl, the things not alive. Damn good thing too, if it had to listen to you talk, man, that would be torture!" He yelled looking at the rabbit/dog.
" You tell me!" The doll said.
" AAAAHHHH!! What the hell is THAT?!" Kai screamed as he jumped up, causing Suzie to land on her head.
" Owey!!! Dwat hurted!" She yelled as she got off the floor.
" That evil thing is alive!!" Mr. Socks yelled from behind the chair.
" I'm NOT evil!! I've saved your sorry asses so many times- HEY!! Where are you going?" The live stuffy yelled at Kai as he ran towards the door.
" I'm not staying here!! I don't know what's more annoying, the evil stuffy, or the evil kids speech! I'm going back to Beyblade!" He yelled and like all the rest, ran out the doors.
' I really have to do something about those doors." Mr. Socks said, then looked over to the girl and the live stuffy.
" Hey little girl, can you do me a favor."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
" Okay, Drag, you're next!" Mr. Socks yelled at the man/girl who was now wearing a normal Santa suit.
" Okay sit on the chair on I'll call out the thing I like to call, Satan's little helper."
" Where do you get all the kids from?" Sailor Uranus asked as he/she sat down.
" From behind the corner, ask no more questions, here it comes."
Like Mr. Socks promised, out came a short boy with a very tight brown swimmers cap on his head, he wore what like helpless Anakin wore, except with purple pants.
" Hello child, come sit on my lap." Sailor Uranus said to him.
He did not object his elders; he did as he was told.
" That's a nice swimmers cap you have on your head." He/she said to the young boy.
" It's NOT a swimmers cap! It's my hair!" He said in a raspy voice.
" Oh sorry kid, so what's your name?"
" Cody" He replied.
" Hmm.Cody, tell me Cody, have you been an innocent little boy this year?" He/she asked him.
" Uh.I guess so." He replied.
" How innocent?"
" I don't know, quite innocent I guess." Cody said.
" So would you consider yourself pure?" Sailor Uranus asked.
" Pure? I guess so, I drink a lot of Prune Juice, and my Grandfather say's that's 100% pure." Cody explained looking frightened of the Santa now.
" Are you respectful to your elders?" He/she questioned.
" Yeah, of course I am, well I better go now, you know don't want Grandfather to wait in the car too long!" He said and hopped off his/her knee.
" You can't go child! You most definitely have a Pure Heart! 'They' will be after you now!" Sailor Uranus yelled and held onto his shoulders.
" Who's 'They'?" Asked Cody.
" Yeah, who is 'They'?" Mr. Socks asked, but staying out of sight.
" The Heart Snatchers of course! Come with me young one and I'll take your Pure- I mean I'll protect you!" He/she said and picked Cody up.
" HEY!! I don't want another kidnap again!" Mr. Socks exclaimed.
" You mean that another child was kidnapped? By whom?" Sailor Uranus asked as he/she struggled to keep Cody still.
" That Jedi dude, but I did try to stop him, I did!" Mr. Socks yelled.
" Then we must waste no more time, goodbye!" Sailor Uranus yelled just before he/she and the boy disappeared.
" Damnit! They didn't even go though the front doors! There's no way I could have stopped them!" He yelled as he hit his head on the floor.
" Oh well, live and learn! I only have two people left, let's hope one of them stays. YUE!! YOUR NEXT!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
" Well, I have seen worse." Mr. Socks replied as he saw Yue's Santa suit.
It was a lot like Gennai's, but Yue had his hair down, and he wore the boots instead of sandals.
"So Angel boy, sit on the chair and do the Santa thing when the kid comes out, okay?" Mr. Socks said to the tall guy.
Yue nodded and walked over to the chair and sat down.
" Okay, you can come out now!" Mr. Socks yelled as he hid behind the chair.
From behind the usual corner came a small figure, a very small figure.
" Damn! Your shorter then Yugi!!" Mr. Socks yelled from his hiding space.
It was indeed smaller then Yugi, smaller then a shoe, and it was not human.
" Why is there a hamster waiting to sit on my lap?" Yue asked watching the hamster crawl onto his knees.
" He was the only one left to volunteer." Mr. Socks explained.
" Oh."
" But how am I going to talk to it? Let alone understand it?" Yue asked himself.
" I can hear you just fine, fairy boy!" The hamster's voice spoke in Yue's head.
" AAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Yue screamed.
" What?! What the bloody hell is wrong with you?! The thing can't even talk!" Mr. Socks yelled at him, looking confused.
" Can you hear me?" Yue thought.
" Damn right I can! I can read anyone's mind!" Came the hamster's voice.
" Right, uh so little hamster, what is your name?" Yue asked his mind and the hamster.
" The names Hamtaro! And I would prefer if you called hamsters Ham-Hams!" It yelled back.
" Whatever, what do you want for Christmas?" Yue asked Hamtaro.
" You know, I think you can be a bit more nicer!!" Hamtaro's voice rang though Yue's head.
" Why should I be respectful of a hamster?" Yue thought.
"WE'RE CALLED HAM-HAMS!! You're really pissing my whiskers off!!" Hamtaro shouted.
" Like I damn well care!" Yue said to the Ham-ham.
" That's it! You asked for it you fag!"
" What are you going to do? Bite me?" Yue asked, laughing a bit.
" Laughing are you? You won't be!"
Mr. Socks watched the mental battle between Yue, and the continuous squeaking heard from the hamster, he hoped that Yue would soon speak, just to make sure he was still somewhat sane, well, he got what he wished for.
" AAAAAAHHHHH!!!" Yue screamed.
" What is it?" Mr. Socks asked.
" The Ham-ham that reads minds is urinating on my lap!" He yelled and jumped out of the chair.
" Ouch! Don't you even think of stepping on my tail, dambass!" Hamtaro's voice said in Yue's mind.
" AAAAAAAHHHH!! Do you hear the Ham-ham voices too? They're in my head! Get them out of my head!!" He yelled and ran head first into a wall, knocking him out cold.
" Well, at least he didn't kidnap the hamster." Mr. Socks said to himself as he watched the hamster walk out the doors.
Mr. Socks grabbed his cell phone from behind the chair and hit 911with his forehead.
" Hello? This is Mr. Socks, I am in the local mall and I am afraid that a man has gone mad and passed out, please come as quickly as possible as I believe he is cannibalistic, thanks."
Mr. Socks hung up the phone and looked at the list.
" Uh oh, this isn't good, one person left. Hope he stays; I really don't want to be Santa again. Oh shit. I paired him up with ' Them'."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
" Hello Mute boy, nice Santa suit! Can I get you something to drink?" Mr. Socks asked in his nicest voice, hoping to butter him up.
The Mute one also known as Link shook his head. He was wearing what looked like a Santa dress, but he has a belt on so it just made it look like he had a baggy top with a skirt. The suit of course was complete with the beard, boots and hat.
" So if you want you can sit on the comfy red chair, and I'll bring the two lovely children out." He said.
Without any other word, Link nodded and sat in the chair.
" Okay, may the two uh, children come out now?" Mr. Socks asked in a sweet voice.
Like always, the customers came around the corner. This time two, uh, things.
One resembled a yellow rabbit that had red pants on, and did not have its eyes open, the other looked like a albino gorilla that had what looked like a purple skirt on.
They walked up to Link and stopped in front of him.
" Do we have the permission to sit on your lap?" The albino gorilla asked.
Link nodded his head and the two wasted no time to jump up.
" Allow me to introduce ourselves, my name is Bokomon and that rabbit is Neemon." The gorilla said.
Link nodded again.
" Link say something!" Mr. Socks whispered.
Link started to sweat, but still said nothing.
" Why don't you say ' Something'?" The one known as Neemon asked.
" Hmm. If you don't feel like talking can I at least pull at your pants?" Bokomon asked him.
As soon as he said that it caused Link to, uh, talk.."
" AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!! HA, HOO, HA!" He yelled.
" Why you can talk! Does that mean I can pull at your pants? Neemon won't let me do it, he's learned how to run, you see." Bokomon said, as Neemon nodded.
" AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Link said again.
" You know I think he is only programmed to say some words." Bokomon exclaimed.
" Really? Me talk more then Santa?" Neemon asked.
" Quiet you!" Bokomon yelled and pulled at his pants.
" AAHH!"
Link in the meantime, had enough of there long talk, he quickly got up and headed for the exit doors.
As soon as he got outside a little girl was there with a rabbit/dog like stuffy.
" Wook Wopmon! A muan! Wemenber what duh Dock said! Get 'em Wopmon!" The girl yelled as the ' Stuffy chased Link back inside.
" There's no way to escape Link! The Gruesome Twosome is blocking the other doors, you have to be Santa and stay here till Christmas!!!" Mr. Socks yelled at Link and evilly laughed.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~ The next day ~~~~~~~~~~
" Ha, hoo, ha, humph phew 'eh AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!?? ( " Hello, what would you like for Christmas?") Link asked to a little girl.
" Haha! You thought you got away didn't you?! I may have lost seven other's and had two kidnaps, but it's all settled now and the kidnap- I mean the
volunteered brats are in the dungeo- I mean back home with there parents! So happy holidays from the Holiday Sock!" He said, and turned around to enjoy Link's suffering.
THE END!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AN: Well how did you like it? I know it was long, but I like long fics. I did make fun of a lot of the characters, I admit that. But I did warn you so don't flame me, please!!! So let me have a happy Christmas by reviewing! PLEASE REVIEW!!! I also want to write another One Shot but I don't know which to use, any show from the fic. So please give me your ideas! Oh, one more thing, HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!
~ Digitalgirl ~
The Holiday Sock - You all should know who this is, you know the sock that is always on the WB on Christmas? If you don't, go tell it to someone who cares!
Santa's:
Joe and Young Gennai. - If you don't know who these guys are, you are completely helpless.
Yami/Yugi- Well, you should know, but I'll tell you anyway. The guy that is always in blue leather on Yu-Gi-Oh, that's Yami, and the vertically challenged one is Yugi. Both the same person.
Yue- The Cardcaptor guy with the long white hair, he's also some what bitchy.
Sailor Uranus- The dykie "supposed girl" with short blonde hair from Sailor Moon.
Kai- The sexy blader from Beyblade. Spiky sliver/blue haired guy that is well.cold hearted.
Brock- The pervert that never seems to open his eyes, from pokemon.
Link- The main guy in the video game " The legend of Zelda: Ocarina of time/ Majoras mask." Please note, he can't talk.
Kids:
Cody-..helpless.
Sailor Mini Moon- The pink haired girl from Sailor Moon. Also is vertically challenged.
Hamtaro- The hamster that can read his owners mind, from Hamtaro. They we're intelligent naming this show.
Suzie- The abnormal child that has a speech impairment, I think you all know whom I'm talking about.
Mariah- The other pink haired girl, but this time she is normal in height wise, from the show Beyblade.
Bokomon and Neemon- Well the gruesome twosome from 04 have come, one having both the intelligence and creativity of this story, thus meaning none. Other has a fetish with pulling pants.
Anakin- Little blonde boy that I made up, but some have other ideas.
Rebecca- The little blonde girl from Yu-Gi-Oh that was convinced that Yugi's Grandpa stole a Duel card. Short, but still taller then Yugi.
Okay that took up a lot of your time, oh and please note, this was totally pointless. So I'll shut my trap and get on with the story. Oh yeah, everyone is OOC, and I admit I made fun of some of them, okay most of them, but I did warn you before so don't hate me!!
Disclaimer: I own nothing in this fic, no Yami, no pokemon, not even a talking hamster. This giving you no right to sue.
" A Santa star is born, or so we hope."
Joe Kido slowly made his way to the local mall, in hopes that he will soon
have a winter job. It was December 15, and of course everyone knows what
that means: Fighting with an old lady for the last Power Ranger doll, for
You're supposed " Little brother" for Christmas.
" Of course I'm not the type to do this sort of thing, Tai would be much better at this then I am." He thought to himself as he reached for the door
that led to the mall. He barely had the door half way open when someone bumped into him.
" Oh sorry Joe! You see, I'm late, I'm late, I'm very very late!" Yelled the figure that Joe recognized as Obi-Wan Kanobi.
" Gennai? Is that you? What are you doing here in the real world and not in the digital world?!" He yelled as he and Gennai got into the doors to get warmer.
" Well to your first question, yes Joe it is me, and as to how I am here, well, let's just say that I am on a mission." Gennai explained, looking around the mall.
" A mission? What kind-"
" WOW! Look there is absolutely no one in here! I wonder why?" Gennai stated, cutting Joe off.
Joe looked around the mall to find it completely deserted.
" Your right, strictly speaking it should be packed, as it's almost Christmas." He pointed out, and then changed the subject. " But why are you at a mall?"
Gennai looked somewhat uncomfortable now. " Well you see, I am
auditioning for the Santa that they have here, you know always need the extra money and I just love seeing the little children smile."
" WHAT!! But you don't use real money in the digital world! " Joe said looking shocked.
" Oh yeah, well, um, so hey what are you doing here young Joe? He asked, ignoring his question.
" Well, I'm doing the same thing, you know, more money for Christmas." " Yeah right Joe! More like that life size Pink Power Ranger doll." He
thought to himself smiling and hoping that his lame excuse would work. Thankfully Gennai nodded.
" Well as it seems that we are late so I guess it's best we start on our journey."
Joe nodded and followed behind Gennai, when a thought struck him. " Where are we supposed to go?"
Gennai suddenly stopped and turned to Joe, looking totally confused.
" Well, I guess we go to the North Pole, dipshit. Really I swear that you're getting dumber." He replied, looking proud of himself.
" Oh haha, so funny. I think we should just go to the big red chair in the middle of the store." Joe said now leading the way.
"Oh you are right! I think I see a pole! And what is so funny?" He asked, but Joe decided to not to answer.
As soon as they got there it was obvious to Joe that Gennai was not the worst dressed.
There was about six others there, some wearing what looked like dresses and short skirts, while others where too short for human height and wore leather.
Joe walked up to the nearest guy that was leaning on a wall with his eyes closed, but he still looked the sanest, that and he did not wear a dress.
" Hi there! Is this where the Santa try-outs are?" Joe asked him politely.
The guy stood, still silent.
Gennai poked Joe in the back. " He might be deaf, or a narcoleptic." He replied.
He nodded and spoke to him again, this time louder: "IS..THIS..THE..SANTA..AUDITIONS?"
The response from him was a fist colliding with Joe's jaw.
" Well, you did get his attention, I'll give you that." Gennai said as Joe screamed like a girl.
Joe looked up from where he now lay on the ground and stared at the guy.
" What the hell did you do that for?!" He asked, clearly pissed off.
The guy opened one eye to look at the pathetic victim.
" You talk too loud." Came his reply.
" What's your name?" Joe asked as he got off the floor.
" Why should I tell you?"
" Because I'm going to report you!"
" I know a way to settle this. I challenge you to a Beybattle!" He exclaimed, as he pulled out from his pocket what looked like a spin-top.
" What's this? Bey.battle? Joe asked quizzically.
" A Beyblade battle, everyone knows about Beyblades! It's the most popular game in the world!"
Joe opened his mouth to reply, but yet again was cut off.
" Beyblading? I've never even heard of it! Everyone knows that Duel Monsters are the most popular!" Came a voice.
" Who said that?" Asked Gennai looking around.
" Me! Right here!" Said the voice.
" I can't see anyone." Replied Joe as he scanned the crowed.
" Right down here dammit!"
Joe, Gennai, and the unknown guy looked down.down..down.down to find a VERY SMALL human being wearing the blue leather.
"Hey guy's! It usually takes people a while to find me." He explained giving a very cheesy grin.
" Um, hello little boy, you know, Santa is not going to be here till tomorrow, do you want me too find your mommy?" Joe asked, holding a hand out to the boy.
The little boy looked horrified at the sight of this.
" I'M NOT A LITTLE BOY! I'M FOURTEEN!!" He yelled at them.
"Oh sorry dude, I didn-" Joe started, but was still unable to finish his sentence.
" Little one, do you know of the Force?" Gennai asked, pushing Joe aside and kneeling very low to the ground to look at the "teen".
" What the hell are you on?" He asked, looking scared.
" Guess not." Gennai sighed getting off the floor.
The guy that was still leaning on the wall finally spoke. " Why are you so short if you're fourteen?" He asked.
The boy started to sniff. " I'm..(Sniff)..quite sensitive (Sniff)..about my height. I was (Sniff)..born this way." He managed to say, still sniffling.
"He's sorry, um..uh.. I don't think I've introduced myself, I'm Joe, and this is Gennai, and this is.No damn clue." Joe stated, glad not to be cut off for a change
"Hi! I'm Yugi. Do you duel?" He asked, now smiling.
" WHAT?! That's way to dangerous for me!" Joe yelled.
" No, no, not that! I mean Duel Monsters?" Yugi explained.
They all shook their heads, even including the silent one.
" The card game." He continued.
...Silence..
" You know! " It's time to duel!"
..Silence...
" The most exciting thing to do!"
...Silence...Except for.
" Hey! You must be talking about Pokemon!" Someone shouted though the crowed.
Joe, Gennai, Yugi, and the silent one turned their heads to the speaker.
Out came a tall boy that had dark brown skin, and brown hair. As he walked he kept on bumping into anything and anyone.
" Oh just what we need, a blind one." Joe sighed.
" Hi there! I thought I heard you talking about Pokemon!" He said, talking to the tree that was next to them.
" Uh..Over here." Yugi replied.
He turned around and finally looked at them, sill squinting at the figures.
" Oh hi! It take's me some time to see people. I'm Brock by the way." He explained.
" Why don't you open your eyes?" Replied the silent one.
" Like you should talk." Joe muttered under his breath.
The teen scratched his head. " Hmmm.never tried it, well guess there's no time like the present!" He yelled and opened his eyes, causing everyone to look at them, and not in a good way.
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! BURNING!! BURNING!!! MY EYES!! MY EYES!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
Brock screamed at the top of his lungs and ran to the nearest thing that looked like a bottle and poured it in his eyes, causing him to scream more, but still continued to pour it into his eyes.
" Man that's gotta hurt!" Joe exclaimed.
" Yeah, should we tell him that's Peroxide?" Asked Yugi.
" Let him be, he knows what he's doing." Gennai said.
After about two minutes of Brock's screaming, he returned back to them, now a blonde.
"Ahhhh..much better! Now back to girls- I mean Pokemon!" He said giving a nervous laugh.
" Yeah, about that. What is a Pokemon?" Yugi asked.
Brock stared at him giving him a blank look.
" Oh yeah, like you don't know."
"But we really don't! So would you damn well mind telling us?!" Joe asked, clearly pissed off at being so confused.
" Fine, fine don't get your panties in a bunch! Mmmm.panties." Brock started to drool, but pulled himself together at the sight of their faces.
" I'll show you then!" He yelled as the rest watched him pull out what looked like a red and white pool ball.
" Ohh..What are you going to do with that? Throw it at my forehead?" Replied the silent one.
Brock ignored his statement and thru it.
" GO ONIX!"
Whatever they thought a Pokemon was, it wasn't this.
It looked as if rocks had somehow came to life and grew eyes, not a good sight for unknown people too see this, especially Joe.
" AAAHHH!!! DIGIMON ATTACK!! EVEYONE RUN!! He yelled and ran in a circle.
" Oh that's nothing! I'll kill it with my Lightsab." Gennai started but stopped. " Dammit! I didn't bring it!"
"Oh shut-up!" Screamed the silent one and launched his "Beyblade" at the pile of live rocks.
Brock smiled. " You'll have to do more then that to stop my- WHAT!!" He yelled at that moment for as soon as the " Beyblade" hit the " Onix" It crumbled into a pile of dust.
" Well I'll be damned." Said Brock as the pile of rocks disappeared with a "Poof".
" Are they usually that weak? I mean, that was pathetic." Said yet another voice.
" Where are you?" Said Joe, now having enough sense to look down, but found no one.
" I'm right here." Said the voice behind Gennai, causing him to jump, at both the voice and the sight.
" Great, a Drag Queen." Sighed the silent one.
The figure was of either a VERY feminine man, or a VERY manly girl that wore a short blue skirt and a white top that was attached.
" I heard that Kai." He/she said.
" How did you know my name?" He asked surprised.
" I know all." He/she replied to him.
Gennai stepped in front of Kai and spoke to the Drag. " Then you must know of the Force! Please tell us your name!" He exclaimed.
" Of your first question, I have not a clue of this " Force", and as to my name, you may just call me Sailor Uranus." He/she said, causing Brock to speak up.
" Well, we've just met, but-"
" He, uh, she didn't mean that you sicko!" Yelled Yugi.
" So, you a chick or a guy?" Kai asked, getting to the whole point of talking to this freak.
" That, is of no importance, the only reason I'm here is because I'm searching for someone.or something." Sailor Uranus responded.
" Really? You too?" Gennai asked, looking excited.
He/she decided to ignore his question, and turned to look at the rest.
" Do you know of the other two over there?" He/she asked, gesturing over his/her shoulder.
They looked to where he/she gestured. There was what looked like a guy in a white dress and long white hair that was standing alone with his eyes closed, across from him was a guy that wore mostly green practicing moves with a sword.
They all shook their heads no, except for Brock.
" I think I talked to them," He replied, trying to focus his eyes on them,
" yeah, the guy in the white hair just slept when I asked him his name, and the other..well he just looked like he was about to cry and ran off." He explained, looking slightly confused.
" Anyway, um, when does this thing start? The guy should have been here awhile ago." Joe said, wanting to change the subject.
At that moment, the lights in the building turned off. " What the." Kai started, but someone cut in.
" Hello future Santa's!" Came a high girly voice from the darkness, and then
continued. "Before we do anything more I think we should have a sing-along! Ready? Three, two, one!
' I'm your host and there's a rule, at- AAAAHHHHHHHHH!! WHO'S DAMN BEYBLADE IS THIS?! The girl yelled just before the lights turned on.
Right on Santa's chair sat what looked like a deformed sock with black eyes and a black mouth, on top of it was the Beyblade.
" HELP!! I can't breath!!" It yelled, the guy in the green (who was the closest) ran up and took the Beyblade off the live sock.
" It's about time dumbass!" The thing yelled and sat up on the chair.
" Beyblade, come to me." Kai whispered beside Joe, causing the Beyblade to fly out of the guy in green hands and into his.
" Now that's some scary shit!" Yelled the sock looking stunned. " Anyway,
as I see we have some objections to the singing thing, I'll introduce myself: You may call me the Holiday Sock, or Mr. Socks! Now would you please
mind telling me your names, you must do this to compete to be Santa! Let's start with you." He said, looking at Brock.
"Um..Brock. But hey sweet cakes, if you don't like it, I'll change it." He replied, smiling.
" I'm a damn sock! Don't judge the voice!" He spat back.
" Curse these eyes!"
" Whatever, what about you?" Mr. Socks said, looking at Joe.
" Joe. And this is Gennai." He replied, nodding at Gennai.
"I'm Sailor Uranus. And the silent one is Kai." He/she said.
" I'm Yugi! Nice to meet ya Mr.!"
" Who said that?" Asked the sock.
" I did!" Yugi yelled.
" I don't see anyone!"
" Um.Mr. Socks, you have to look down more." Joe explained.
He did look down, down, down. " Ah! There you are. Next!" He looked over to the white haired one.
The guy sighed. " They call me Yue." He said, with his eyes still closed.
The guy in green looked up at him, but said nothing.
" Hmm. his name is Link." Gennai quickly said.
" And how may I ask, do you know that?" Mr. Socks asked.
" I know all." He replied.
" Bull-shit! I do!" Sailor Uranus exclaimed at him.
" Oh shut-up! Everyone knows that I am the All and Powerful Sock! Now let's get started, I have brought with me some children that are from your worlds- "
" Our worlds?" Asked Yugi.
" Oops! Said too much, no, no, no, from your schools! Yes, from your
schools! What I will do is judge you each separately, you will put on your
Santa suits if you brought one, if not, I have some. Then we will sit the twerp on your knee, and you know the rest!"
With that, the sock jumped off the Santa chair and called out; "Okay we'll
start with you, uh, Joe! The rest of you Drags, Vertically challenged, Mute people go get some damn coffee! Ya look like hell! And don't come back till I call your name either!"
With that, everyone excluding Joe went out to the stores in the mall.
" Well, did ya bring a suit?! The Holiday Sock yelled, bringing Joe back to reality.
" Uh, no I didn't." He replied.
" Well then, go to the men's crapper and there should be a Santa suit there. It should fit."
Ten minutes later Joe sat in a big red chair in a big red suit, beard, boots, and all.
" Yes nice, nice, but the blue hair will have to go though!" The Holiday Sock exclaimed.
" What?! I not shaving my head! Or dyeing it white!" Joe yelled at him.
" Bring out the shrimp!" He spat, pretending not to hear Joe.
A little girl that looked about 8 or 9 with blonde hair that was in pigtails came around the corner. She stopped in front of Joe and stood there, smiling.
" What do I do now?" Joe asked Mr. Socks.
" Well, what do ya think you do?! Sit the thing on your lap!" He yelled at him as he attempted to write on a piece of paper with his mouth.
" Hello little one! Do you want to sit on my lap?" He asked while patting his knees.
The girl looked at the stuffed bear that she held.
" What do you think Teddy? Should we sit on his lap?" She asked giggling. She tucked the harmless stuffy under her arm and sat on Joe's lap.
" Uh..Hello, what is your name little girl?' He asked her.
" My name's Rebecca, isn't that right Teddy?"
" Uh yeah, so have you been a good girl this year?" He asked her as she hugged ' Teddy'.
" Of course I have! I'm never bad! Right Teddy? You just have it in for me don't you?! She screamed.
" No, no. Um, never mind that. Uh, what do you want for Christmas?" He asked in a calming voice.
" I want another Teddy just like this one to keep him company, and then I want the Blue Eyes White Dragon you stole from me Santa!!"
" Okay then, I'll get you. What! I didn't steal anything from you!" Joe proclaimed.
" Yes you did! Both Teddy and me saw you take it last year!! Didn't we Teddy?"
" Did not!" Joe yelled.
" Did too!"
" Did not!"
" Did too!"
" Did."
" Okay that's it! Thanks for coming Joe; I'll phone you if ya get the job! Right now, I need some damn Aspirin!" Mr. Socks spat as he hopped away in search of some drugs, leaving Joe with the psychotic girl and the innocent bear.
" Well, Santa's very busy so I'll see you next year." Joe said as he attempted to get the girl off his lap, no such luck.
" Will you give me my Blue Eyes White Dragon now?" She asked.
" I already told you I don't have the damned thing!"
" Fine then, Teddy, sick-em!" She yelled, holding the bear out.
" Oh yeah, I'm ssoooo- AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! Joe burst out as the ' Teddy' jumped up and started gnawing at his neck.
" Good job Ted, our work here is done."
~~~~~5 minutes later~~~~~
" YO! Jedi dude! Your up!" The Holiday Sock yelled at Gennai.
" Alright then." He replied before he left the row of Anakin Skywalker dolls.
" You have a suit, or whatever ya wanna wear?" Mr. Socks asked, looking at Gennai's wardrobe.
" Yes, I left it in the men's lavatory, shall I change now?" He asked.
" Yeah, yeah, you do that." Mr. Socks replied.
Before Gennai reached the bathroom doors he turned to Mr. Socks.
" Do you happen to know where my apprentice is?" He questioned.
" Your apprentice? Who the hell is that?"
" A young youth that goes by the name of ' Joe'." He explained.
" Oh, that kid.Well when I came back to talk to 'em, he was running out the doors yelling about a possessed Teddy." He said.
" Hmmm. I see the Dark side is up to there same old tricks." Gennai said sadly.
" The What side?" Mr. Socks asked.
" Oh never mind, I'll go put on my robes." He replied as he went though the doors.
Five minutes later Gennai returned to the Santa chair, now fully 'robed'.
" What the hell is that?" Mr. Socks asked when he saw him
It was pretty much the same thing Gennai always wore, long robes. But this time it was red and white, he had black sandals on and what looked like a children's nightcap.
" It's my robes, you like?"
" Sure, uh, sit on the chair and put on the beard that's on the chair."
Gennai did as he was told; he never questioned a talking sock.
" Bring the damned thing in!" Mr. Socks yelled around the corner.
Out came a small blonde boy of about 8, he wore a plain white top and white cargo pants. ( AN: Just picture Cody's outfit but looser pants, okay?)
" Oh my Yoda!" Gennai gasped.
The boy stopped in front of Gennai with a blank look on his face.
" Oh, um, want to sit on Santa's lap, son?" He asked.
The boy nodded and jumped on his lap.
" Hello there, what might your name be?" Gennai asked the boy.
" Anakin". Replied the boy, causing Gennai's jaw to drop.
" Anakin, what in interesting name, tell me dear boy what is of your age?"
" I'm almost nine." He said.
" Nine! Splendid!"
" Ahum! Get on with the program!" Mr. Socks whispered from behind the chair.
" Oh yeah, what would you like for Christmas little Anakin?" Gennai asked.
" Ah...I want a Lightsaber so I can be a Jedi!! Have you ever seen the movies?!" He exclaimed.
" YES!! I knew you where the one!! Let us go train!" Gennai yelled as he picked the helpless kid up and ran out the doors.
" WAIT!! YOUR NOT SUPOSSED TO KIDNAPP THE CUSTUMER!! STOP IN THE NAME OF YODA!! Mr. Socks yelled at the running figure, but it made no attempts to stop.
" Oh great! Just great." Mr. Socks said to himself.
" First a guy nearly gets killed only god knows how, and then a Star Wars freak kidnaps a customer. (Sigh) Man, I going to get the pants sued off me, oh wait, I don't wear pants. Oh well, NEXT!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
" Okay, Yugi. Well, I'll just come out and say it. YOU'RE TOO DAMN SHORT!" Mr. Socks yelled at the small figure.
Yugi looked down at his red leather Santa suit, trying not to cry.
" But Mr. Socks, I really wanted this job." He replied.
" Trust me, you would get teased incredibly by the kids if the Santa's that short.
" Really?" Yugi asked.
" Sure as hell." Mr. Socks replied.
" What if I did something about that?" Yugi questioned, looking up.
" Uh, what would you do? I can't wait till ya hit a growth spurt." The sock stated.
" Hmm.. We'll see about that. YU-GI-OH!!!"
" What! Where the hell is that glowing white light coming from?" AAAHHHH!!!! Why are you different?! And tall?!" Mr. Socks Exclaimed, looking at the person in front of him.
Yugi still had the red leather Santa suit on, the same hair, but looked much older, and a whole lot taller.
" I can easily say that my day won't get anywhere near normal." Mr. Socks said to himself as the ' Old Yugi' sat on the red chair.
" Who are you?' Mr. Socks asked the taller one.
" I have many names, Pharaoh, Yugi, but most people call me Yami." He said, and said no more.
" Uh, yeah okay, let's have the Spawn of Satan then!" Mr. Socks yelled over to the corner.
Yet again, a girl with pink hair that was in pigtails that wore a small blue skirt and a white top came into view.
"What am I supposed to do?" Yami asked Mr. Socks.
" Well, put her on your lap and ask her name!" Mr. Socks said from behind the chair.
" Come here little person." Yami told the girl.
The girl came over to him and held her arms open.
" What?" Yami asked her.
" Pick me up!!!" She yelled.
Yami grabbed onto her arm and heaved her onto his lap.
" OUCH! That hurt!" She yelled and hit him on the chest.
" What is your name?" He asked.
" Why should I tell you?" She asked.
" Because I'm the King of games!" He stated.
" Oh yeah? Well I'm Sailor Mini Moon!"
" Who's that?" Yami asked her.
" If you were the real Santa you would have known! All you are is an imposture!!" She yelled and ripped off his beard.
" Now that hurt! You're starting to annoy me, Sailor Mini moon!!" Yami half shouted.
" NO!! You're annoying ME, Mr. King of Aids!!
" OKAY THAT'S IT!!" Yami yelled as he quickly got off the chair causing 'Mini Moon' too fall onto the ground.
" I'M GONNA SUE YOU!!" The girl yelled.
" That's IT! I'm leaving! I don't want this damn job! How could Yugi even think of doing this?!" With that he ran out of the doors.
" Well, that went well." Mr. Socks replied.
" What do you mean THAT WENT WELL??!! I could have been killed by that freak!" Mini Moon yelled and she too ran out the doors.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
" Okay local freaks! Three of the nut's are gone, so let's have the Pervert now!" Mr. Socks announced. After about ten minutes later, the Perv formally known as Brock came towards the chair, already in a Santa suit.
" What took you so long?" Mr. Socks snapped.
" Well, I am somewhat blind." He reminded him.
" Oh yeah, that's right. Anyway, go sit on the chair." He said.
"Okay, so is this a girl or a guy?" Brock asked as he sat down.
" Shut-up, here she is."
A girl came into view with again pink hair that was tied in a ponytail; she wore white pants and a white tank top that was laced with pink.
Unfortunately the pink hair was not good for her sake, because it was clear that Brock could see her better because of the brightness.
" Well hello there! Why don't you come and sit on Santa's knee?" He asked patting his lap.
The girl sighed and jumped onto his lap, looking scared.
" Well hello there sweet-cakes! What might your name be?" Brock asked smiling evilly.
" Uh..Mariah." She said sounding unsure.
" Well Mariah, have you been a bad girl this year?"
" Hey!! Do NOT hit on the customers!" Mr. Socks yelled from behind the chair as usual.
" Uh, Wow! Look at the time! I have to get to a Beybattle, bye!" Mariah replied as she attempted to get off his lap, but being unsuccessful.
" Hmmm..I think not, I may be blind but I can still see how much you love me, how 'bout we get out of here?" Brock asked the disturbed girl.
" What the hell! Okay this is totally not worth the twenty bucks!" She yelled finally being able to struggle free of Brocks death grip.
" Hey babe! Don't leave me! I'm a handicapped! You wouldn't leave a disabled guy would ya?" Brock yelled as he made a grab for the girl's waist.
" AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! HELP ME!!" Mariah screamed.
" BROCK!! DON'T MOLEASTE THE CUSTUMERS!!" Mr. Socks yelled at him as he ran out the door after the disturbed girl.
" Well, that could have been worse." The sock said to himself, and then glanced down at his list.
" Kai! Your up! And don't bring your damn Beyblade!"
Five minutes later, he finally showed up, still in his same clothes.
" Need a suit?" The Holiday Sock asked.
" No." He replied as he sat down in the chair.
" You have to where to wear one!" Mr. Socks proclaimed.
" Are you arguing with ME?" Kai asked.
" Did you bring your Beyblade?"
" No shit Sherlock."
" Okay then, no prob! You just get comfy there and I'll get the Dwarf." He said.
" Okay, you can come in now!!" Mr. Socks yelled over to the corner.
Around the corner came a girl that wore mostly pink, she has brown hair and she held what looked like a rabbit/dog like stuffy.
" Well, pick her up!..uh if that's okay with you?" Mr. Socks asked in a nervous voice, causing Kai to sigh.
" Well? You going to sit on my lap or are you too stupid to do that?" He asked her.
The little girl quickly jumped onto his lap, afraid of being screamed at if she didn't.
" So, you have a name?" Kai asked as he frowned at all the pink she was wearing.
" Muy names Suzie!! And thuis is Wopmon!!" She tried to pronounce, and pointed at the doll.
" Oh that's nice kid. Now what the hell so you want for Christmas? Shotgun? Axe? An Easy Bake Oven?" Kai asked.
Suzie looked confused. " An Etsy Buake Oven?"
" Yeah, I think your dumb enough to lock yourself in there and hopefully suffocate." He replied.
" Hmm.Actaally I want duh Madgic Prindcess Wand. A Barbiy Daweem House. Balay dshoes. And a pink Dwess for Wopmon!!" She exclaimed.
" What the hell did you just say?" He asked, looking annoyed.
" Id Swaid-"
" Okay never mind! Damn! How can your parent's even listen to you talk?" Kai asked.
" Duay utually don't, buit Wopmon dous!" She yelled, hugging her stuffy tightly.
" Little girl, the things not alive. Damn good thing too, if it had to listen to you talk, man, that would be torture!" He yelled looking at the rabbit/dog.
" You tell me!" The doll said.
" AAAAHHHH!! What the hell is THAT?!" Kai screamed as he jumped up, causing Suzie to land on her head.
" Owey!!! Dwat hurted!" She yelled as she got off the floor.
" That evil thing is alive!!" Mr. Socks yelled from behind the chair.
" I'm NOT evil!! I've saved your sorry asses so many times- HEY!! Where are you going?" The live stuffy yelled at Kai as he ran towards the door.
" I'm not staying here!! I don't know what's more annoying, the evil stuffy, or the evil kids speech! I'm going back to Beyblade!" He yelled and like all the rest, ran out the doors.
' I really have to do something about those doors." Mr. Socks said, then looked over to the girl and the live stuffy.
" Hey little girl, can you do me a favor."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
" Okay, Drag, you're next!" Mr. Socks yelled at the man/girl who was now wearing a normal Santa suit.
" Okay sit on the chair on I'll call out the thing I like to call, Satan's little helper."
" Where do you get all the kids from?" Sailor Uranus asked as he/she sat down.
" From behind the corner, ask no more questions, here it comes."
Like Mr. Socks promised, out came a short boy with a very tight brown swimmers cap on his head, he wore what like helpless Anakin wore, except with purple pants.
" Hello child, come sit on my lap." Sailor Uranus said to him.
He did not object his elders; he did as he was told.
" That's a nice swimmers cap you have on your head." He/she said to the young boy.
" It's NOT a swimmers cap! It's my hair!" He said in a raspy voice.
" Oh sorry kid, so what's your name?"
" Cody" He replied.
" Hmm.Cody, tell me Cody, have you been an innocent little boy this year?" He/she asked him.
" Uh.I guess so." He replied.
" How innocent?"
" I don't know, quite innocent I guess." Cody said.
" So would you consider yourself pure?" Sailor Uranus asked.
" Pure? I guess so, I drink a lot of Prune Juice, and my Grandfather say's that's 100% pure." Cody explained looking frightened of the Santa now.
" Are you respectful to your elders?" He/she questioned.
" Yeah, of course I am, well I better go now, you know don't want Grandfather to wait in the car too long!" He said and hopped off his/her knee.
" You can't go child! You most definitely have a Pure Heart! 'They' will be after you now!" Sailor Uranus yelled and held onto his shoulders.
" Who's 'They'?" Asked Cody.
" Yeah, who is 'They'?" Mr. Socks asked, but staying out of sight.
" The Heart Snatchers of course! Come with me young one and I'll take your Pure- I mean I'll protect you!" He/she said and picked Cody up.
" HEY!! I don't want another kidnap again!" Mr. Socks exclaimed.
" You mean that another child was kidnapped? By whom?" Sailor Uranus asked as he/she struggled to keep Cody still.
" That Jedi dude, but I did try to stop him, I did!" Mr. Socks yelled.
" Then we must waste no more time, goodbye!" Sailor Uranus yelled just before he/she and the boy disappeared.
" Damnit! They didn't even go though the front doors! There's no way I could have stopped them!" He yelled as he hit his head on the floor.
" Oh well, live and learn! I only have two people left, let's hope one of them stays. YUE!! YOUR NEXT!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
" Well, I have seen worse." Mr. Socks replied as he saw Yue's Santa suit.
It was a lot like Gennai's, but Yue had his hair down, and he wore the boots instead of sandals.
"So Angel boy, sit on the chair and do the Santa thing when the kid comes out, okay?" Mr. Socks said to the tall guy.
Yue nodded and walked over to the chair and sat down.
" Okay, you can come out now!" Mr. Socks yelled as he hid behind the chair.
From behind the usual corner came a small figure, a very small figure.
" Damn! Your shorter then Yugi!!" Mr. Socks yelled from his hiding space.
It was indeed smaller then Yugi, smaller then a shoe, and it was not human.
" Why is there a hamster waiting to sit on my lap?" Yue asked watching the hamster crawl onto his knees.
" He was the only one left to volunteer." Mr. Socks explained.
" Oh."
" But how am I going to talk to it? Let alone understand it?" Yue asked himself.
" I can hear you just fine, fairy boy!" The hamster's voice spoke in Yue's head.
" AAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Yue screamed.
" What?! What the bloody hell is wrong with you?! The thing can't even talk!" Mr. Socks yelled at him, looking confused.
" Can you hear me?" Yue thought.
" Damn right I can! I can read anyone's mind!" Came the hamster's voice.
" Right, uh so little hamster, what is your name?" Yue asked his mind and the hamster.
" The names Hamtaro! And I would prefer if you called hamsters Ham-Hams!" It yelled back.
" Whatever, what do you want for Christmas?" Yue asked Hamtaro.
" You know, I think you can be a bit more nicer!!" Hamtaro's voice rang though Yue's head.
" Why should I be respectful of a hamster?" Yue thought.
"WE'RE CALLED HAM-HAMS!! You're really pissing my whiskers off!!" Hamtaro shouted.
" Like I damn well care!" Yue said to the Ham-ham.
" That's it! You asked for it you fag!"
" What are you going to do? Bite me?" Yue asked, laughing a bit.
" Laughing are you? You won't be!"
Mr. Socks watched the mental battle between Yue, and the continuous squeaking heard from the hamster, he hoped that Yue would soon speak, just to make sure he was still somewhat sane, well, he got what he wished for.
" AAAAAAHHHHH!!!" Yue screamed.
" What is it?" Mr. Socks asked.
" The Ham-ham that reads minds is urinating on my lap!" He yelled and jumped out of the chair.
" Ouch! Don't you even think of stepping on my tail, dambass!" Hamtaro's voice said in Yue's mind.
" AAAAAAAHHHH!! Do you hear the Ham-ham voices too? They're in my head! Get them out of my head!!" He yelled and ran head first into a wall, knocking him out cold.
" Well, at least he didn't kidnap the hamster." Mr. Socks said to himself as he watched the hamster walk out the doors.
Mr. Socks grabbed his cell phone from behind the chair and hit 911with his forehead.
" Hello? This is Mr. Socks, I am in the local mall and I am afraid that a man has gone mad and passed out, please come as quickly as possible as I believe he is cannibalistic, thanks."
Mr. Socks hung up the phone and looked at the list.
" Uh oh, this isn't good, one person left. Hope he stays; I really don't want to be Santa again. Oh shit. I paired him up with ' Them'."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
" Hello Mute boy, nice Santa suit! Can I get you something to drink?" Mr. Socks asked in his nicest voice, hoping to butter him up.
The Mute one also known as Link shook his head. He was wearing what looked like a Santa dress, but he has a belt on so it just made it look like he had a baggy top with a skirt. The suit of course was complete with the beard, boots and hat.
" So if you want you can sit on the comfy red chair, and I'll bring the two lovely children out." He said.
Without any other word, Link nodded and sat in the chair.
" Okay, may the two uh, children come out now?" Mr. Socks asked in a sweet voice.
Like always, the customers came around the corner. This time two, uh, things.
One resembled a yellow rabbit that had red pants on, and did not have its eyes open, the other looked like a albino gorilla that had what looked like a purple skirt on.
They walked up to Link and stopped in front of him.
" Do we have the permission to sit on your lap?" The albino gorilla asked.
Link nodded his head and the two wasted no time to jump up.
" Allow me to introduce ourselves, my name is Bokomon and that rabbit is Neemon." The gorilla said.
Link nodded again.
" Link say something!" Mr. Socks whispered.
Link started to sweat, but still said nothing.
" Why don't you say ' Something'?" The one known as Neemon asked.
" Hmm. If you don't feel like talking can I at least pull at your pants?" Bokomon asked him.
As soon as he said that it caused Link to, uh, talk.."
" AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!! HA, HOO, HA!" He yelled.
" Why you can talk! Does that mean I can pull at your pants? Neemon won't let me do it, he's learned how to run, you see." Bokomon said, as Neemon nodded.
" AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Link said again.
" You know I think he is only programmed to say some words." Bokomon exclaimed.
" Really? Me talk more then Santa?" Neemon asked.
" Quiet you!" Bokomon yelled and pulled at his pants.
" AAHH!"
Link in the meantime, had enough of there long talk, he quickly got up and headed for the exit doors.
As soon as he got outside a little girl was there with a rabbit/dog like stuffy.
" Wook Wopmon! A muan! Wemenber what duh Dock said! Get 'em Wopmon!" The girl yelled as the ' Stuffy chased Link back inside.
" There's no way to escape Link! The Gruesome Twosome is blocking the other doors, you have to be Santa and stay here till Christmas!!!" Mr. Socks yelled at Link and evilly laughed.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~ The next day ~~~~~~~~~~
" Ha, hoo, ha, humph phew 'eh AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!?? ( " Hello, what would you like for Christmas?") Link asked to a little girl.
" Haha! You thought you got away didn't you?! I may have lost seven other's and had two kidnaps, but it's all settled now and the kidnap- I mean the
volunteered brats are in the dungeo- I mean back home with there parents! So happy holidays from the Holiday Sock!" He said, and turned around to enjoy Link's suffering.
THE END!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AN: Well how did you like it? I know it was long, but I like long fics. I did make fun of a lot of the characters, I admit that. But I did warn you so don't flame me, please!!! So let me have a happy Christmas by reviewing! PLEASE REVIEW!!! I also want to write another One Shot but I don't know which to use, any show from the fic. So please give me your ideas! Oh, one more thing, HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!
~ Digitalgirl ~