The story of Nick Maple: the less awesome Captain America.
Avengers © Marvel Comics
It was a slow day at SHIELD; no alien invasions, no terrorist attacks, not even a bank robbery had been reported. The avengers were growing bored.
"So, who wants to have some fun?" Questioned Stark.
"I'm going home." Said Natasha.
"Hey, lighten up a little! I was just trying to help." Responded Tony.
"Then go rob a McDonalds so we actually have something to do." Natasha replied.
"Yeah, well-" Tony was cut off by a loud noise. It sounded as though a satellite had been dropped to earth. They ran to the window and looked outside, seeing a bright light.
"This light!" Said Thor, "It burns like a burning tree!"
"We're not in twilight and you are not a vampire. Suck it up." Said none other than Tony.
"We should probably see what that is." Suggested Captain America.
The Avengers ran towards the exit to investigate the strange object. When they reached the crash, they discovered that the object was not a dropped satellite! It was a person!
The person was a man who appeared relatively young; he was perhaps in his early twenties. He was dressed in all red, but his shirt had a white maple leaf emblem on it. He also appeared to be wearing a red cape with more maple leaves printed on it. Before any of The Avengers could ask him any sort of question, the mysterious man spoke.
"Eh maple eh?" He questioned.
"What." Responded Captain America.
"Eh maple eh moose eh eh maple hockey eh and moose maple syrup? Eh?"
"What is he talking about?" Tony asked Steve.
"Oh, I'm very sorry eh. Sorry. Let me say again; I'm sorry eh. See, I didn't realize you don't speak Canadian eh."
"Canadian?" Questioned Natasha.
"Yes eh. Where I come from, the planet of Canadia, we all speak Canadian eh. You've never heard of Canadia eh?"
"I am unfamiliar with the planet you speak of." Said Thor. "Please, tell us more."
"Well eh, Canadia is a beautiful land where the rivers run with maple syrup and the moose run wild and free eh. Everyone is born with the innate skill of hockey playing eh. We have few laws on our planet eh. The first is that every sentence must be finished with an 'eh' eh. The second is that maple syrup must be used in every recipe eh. And finally, we must be polite to everyone we meet eh."
"Your entire planet only has three laws?" Captain America questioned.
"Correct eh. We don't need anymore because everyone's always nice to each other eh. We've only ever had one war and it was over whether moose or maple syrup are better eh."
"So who exactly are you? And how did you get here?" Tony asked.
"Me eh? Oh, I'm Captain Maple eh. I'm kind of like a superhero eh."
"A superhero?" Thor questioned.
"Yup eh. I can shoot maple syrup out of my hands and I can summon moose eh."
"Those are you powers?" Tony questioned. Those couldn't be his only powers, right?
"Yup eh. Pretty impressive eh?"
"Yes...very impressive." Natasha confirmed. What was up with this guy?