Breakups Aren't so Over Rated After All
A/N: This is my first one shot. I hope you guys will give me some feed back on it.
A/N#2: I am taking request on stories. Idk If I'm going to do another full length Puckleberry, if you guys want another one review this story!
A/N#3:Some spoilers from the back nine, through POM. Also wrote this along time ago, but edited it for current episodes
The First Breakup
The first breakup she has doesn't affect her much, but do any of ours?
It's been over a week since that nice boy in her kindergarden class gave her a cookie and told her that he liked her. She likes the attention she gets from the boy and all the girls in her class are jealous our her, a feeling that she will learn to grow accustom to when she gets older. This relationship is pure, innocent, and she didn't have any one sided feelings, not like some of her relationships in the future. It doesn't last long, these children relationships never last. The breakup is dumb and child like, they were playing house. The boy moves on to the next girl, Quinn Fabray, Rachel learns a lesson that will last all threw some of her high school years. She might be first, but she will always come in second to this girl, even if she doesn't know it yet.
The Short Fling
Distractions are hard to come by, so she takes the offer from her ex tormenter, because it's what they both need, right?
She doesn't know why she says yes. Maybe it's because she always looks for the good in the people, maybe it's they way his muscles flex when he is trying to flirt with her, maybe because he is the only guy interested in her and he isn't half bad looking,maybe because he is popular and dates cheerleaders and he wants her. She knows she's kidding her self. She wants a distraction from the other boy and even though she can be wrong, she thinks he needs a distraction from the other girl. The one the other boy loves, not her.
When he asks her to make out with him, she has no reason to say no. They are both looking for someone to distract them, plus he is hot. When they are making out she makes believe that it's Finn the one she desires, she thinks maybe Puck, or Noah, is doing the same thing. Picture Quinn instead of her. She can't take it anymore and breaks the kiss, she can't go on wishing he was someone else. She gives some irrelevant excuses about being a leading man, she know she only has one.
She can't say that she is pleasantly surprised when she shows up to glee and Noah Puckerman is serenading her in his own rendition of Sweet Caroline. She thinks it's a start and maybe she could push her feelings for Finn out of the way and give her extormenter a chance.
Some feeling develop when she is sitting on his lap washing slushy off his mohawked head. She feels a pang in her heart as he apologizes for all the harm he has done in the past. She tells him it's ok and that she understands if he chooses football over Glee. When he feels truly bad she knows that maybe this short fling wasn't just a distraction. who are you trying to convince?
When he walks into the room when the other boy doesn't and she asks her self if she choose the right boy for her heart, she knows the answer and refuses to admit it.
The bleacher break up isn't memorable, no it was the start of the being, she thinks later one when she is in her room alone. It goes like this, she talks he says something back trying to hurt her. She knows it isn't true and that he is just hurt.
"You know he's not going to leave her, not with that baby in her belly" he says telling her the truth that will later be proven wrong. When she hears it it's like a knife in her heart. She tells him she knows he joined Glee to get close to the other girl. When he leaves she just sit there wondering how she, again came in second to Quinn Fabray. She like to say she never felt this pang of hurt before, but she knows that even know she is a talented actress and a good liar, she can't lie to her self, not this time.
When she thought it was the beginning of something great
Her idea of a relationship with Finn Hudson is different that Finn Hudson Idea.
She thinks finally, after all her pinning and wishing from a far, that finally she got the boy. She doesn't know that Sue is working against her or that those Cherri-hoes in Glee are trying to seduce him. Even has something to do with the destruction of this early relationship. She thinks nothing of it when they walk in the halls and she plans events for them on their cute his and her calendars she made. She knows somethings up when she sees the two Cherri-hoes leave Finn's locker or when she pulls him over to the side to talk to him, she knows somethings wrong, but hopes that they can work through it. Boy was she wrong.
"I know being my boyfriend is a challenge. I am not Quinn, I don't look like her, I am not popular, and not low maintenance, but I will always be honest with you Finn, painfully so. All I ask in return is that all you do is be honest with me." she says trying to put a smile on her face even though she is dyeing inside.
"I don't think I can be your boyfriend. Rachel you are really awesome but I think I need to deal with stuff before he can fully commit to one woman. I need to be my own rockstar. I need to find out who I am…" Finn says with a sad smile.
"I will tell you who you are…you are a scared little boy, your afraid of dating me cause your afraid it will hurt your reputation, and although you never admit it - is VERY important to you. And you hate what Quinn did to you not because it hurt but because it was so humiliating." She says as she is trying to not choke out tears, trying not to show she is weak. She doesn't want his pity, she just wants him to die in a hole.
"You are freaking me out - it is like you are in my head or something" he says with a confused expression that she would normally find cute, not any more she thinks bitterly.
"I just know who you are, unlike you who can only see me as this silly girl who made a fool out of herself in her first glee club rehearsal. And that is where you lose it Finn." She starts to cry, but quickly contains her self"Cause if you would take a second look you would realize that I am the only person in your life who knows you and accepts you for everything you are…. No matter what."
She stalks off bitter to Glee only to find Finn Hudson with the Cherrios. When Mr. Shue asks if anyone want to sing something she gets an idea. She gets down to the floor and start to sing her heart out taking the lyrics to heart.
"When you see my face, hope it give you hell, hope it gives you hell !" She points right to him making sure he knows that he just lost her for good.
"When your the fool, I'm just as well, hope it give you hell!" he looks directly at him conveying a message she knows he under stands because even though she is hurting now, she isn't the fool in this game. They both are.
She meets someone else and she starts to get though feelings again, the ones she had with Finn, but stronger. She loves it. She finds someone like her, talented and confident. Not like the other boy. He is the male lead of vocal adrenaline and even know they are enemies, she want to find out more about him. The little banter they have in the book store leads to them singing leads to them kissing and so on. She feels no regret when the other boy asks her out again, but there is a familiar pang in her heart. He says all the things she want to hear, everything. He want her love, a relationship, even her crazy, but she can't. She bits her bottom lip and beings to talk willing her self not to cry and push her self in his long arms. Finn tells her he wants her back, and she tells him that she has moved on. He is just like her and he is the male lead of Vocal Adrenaline. He tells her that it's suspicious and she thinks that he is trying to hurt her now. They tell her he is playing her, using her, but she thinks it's just everyone else. It always is everyone else. She has to break up with him, but she doesn't want to. She thinks she should do what she wants to, it's her life.
Finn comes around again, wanting to love her. Telling her that he wants what she has always wanted. Her heart is breaking again and she thinks that it's the millionth time, but it hurts all the same, maybe more.
She tells him she can't, even though they believe she broke up with Jesse(she hasn't) she can't. She feels hurt that day like no other, she can't even look at him when she sings because all she wants to do is be loved by him. She then thinks of the other boy, the one who promised not to hurt her and she thinks its a fair trade. Fall for someone new who can' hurt her like the other boy did because he wont have her heart, no one ever will.
The one everyone else saw coming
He used her, he broke her heart, and she can never get the boy who has been chasing her, who wanted her back to ever want her again.
It's a week before regionals when Jesse St. James breaks up with her, leaves New Directions with out a male lead, and effectively breaks her heart even worse than the other boy. She doesn't come to school for three days, her parents don't care. Her dads aren't even home for weeks at a time, they have business all of the world, plus she is old enough to take care of her self. She orders Chinese food and eats ice cream all day, she doesn't care about how the ice cream will kill her vocal cords, honestly she doesn't even think she is going to complete in regionals. Seeing Vocal Adrenaline kick their asses because she was to stupid enough to let Jesse in her life would destroy her, also she can't deal with Kurt, Mercedes, Tina, and Artie belittling her and trying to kick her out of the club that will be bound to lose anyway. She goes to school anyway, even if everyone is happy about showing Vocal Adrenaline, what's what,She can take comfort knowing that she is invisible to these people. God, not even her own mother wanted her. She looks in the mirror and winces at her appearance. She is wearing a red hair band that pushes her bangs away from her face that is free of make up. She is wearing a red camisole with grey McKinley sweat pants. She leaves for school and is greeted in the hall way by one Finn Hudson, her unrequited love standing in front of her, probably to mock her(She has been waiting for it since she got egged) and tell her that he had sex with the devil her self, ya she knows about that.
" What do you want Finn" she says bitterly as she makes a move to leave school and go home to her Funny Girl movie and ice cream.
"Are you ok Rachel? You haven't been in school for a while and I remember telling me one time that you need to maintain a perfect GPA to become a young starlet that everyone routes for... or something?." he says look at my face his eyes going dark as his focus shifts to my lips and then back to my face.
"Look Finn" I say with distaste knowing that he only came here to mock me. " I know you are only here to mock me about Jesse rub it in my face that once again I was wrong, then tell me that you slept with Santana and that I'm an imbecile for almost having my first passionate night with someone who was using me." she say bitterly as she drop down to the next step.
"Don't you dare talk, you are only here because of that reason and you know it. I still think that you are probably upset that I didn't want to go out with you, but your a man-boy who sleeps with cheerios right after you hurt a girl who you told you wanted to be with , who by the way!, was chasing after you for a good half of the year." I look at him and see the hurt on him face. I look up at the gray melancholy sky in the sky light, as I will my self to not let tears drop from my face.
Finn opens his mouth and then closes it again. He turns his head to the side and has a confused expression as he turns it back up and stares at me. He repeats the actions a couple of times and then opens him mouth.
"Shut up Rachel," he says staring down at my small body with a dark expression on his face. " You know what Rachel, I'm kinda sick of you judging me. Yes, I do things wrong, I'm human, I'm a teenager, hell I'm a guy. But you? you're not even human, you parade around as this perfect robot that thinks that it's the best. You think by making mistakes that perfection will never come, but perfection comes at a price. You are a robot ,that because of some hurt, is afraid to love. You think that everyone hurts you when you do an equeal share. Run, Joey, Run, lying to me about dating Jesse, I even sang to you Rachel. I'm sorry that you prince charming turn out to be some douche who through eggs at you! All you are is this shell of a person now. The Rachel Berry I knew was a tough person, who forgave people and tried her best! Where is that person, Rachel!" Finn is now borderline screaming as I watch his face and listen to his hurtful words that were true. I can try to convince my self that they aren't but, I'm done telling my self lies that I know I can't convince my self of, I can't even try. I just sit there as the words spill out like slow motion. I finally get enough courage to speak up as his expression or anger turns to one of extreme hurt.
" You want to know where that Rachel Berry is?" I ask going over to him looking up at him as my breathing hitches in my throat.
" That Rachel Berry has been crushed by the many boys that seem to come her way" I saw poking him in the gut. " She wore her heart on her sleeve and gave it to people she hoped would take good care of it. Finn, I just guess I'm tried of this feeling of hurt. I get hurt by people I least expect. I'm broken, and I can't be put back together by your small boyish smiles and charm."
I say turning my back to him and begin to walk in the direction of the parking lot.
" Tell the Glee club, maybe next year they can find a strong female lead because I'm done, and tell Kurt that I hoped he was right. I hope that everyone is replaceable, even me" I start to close the door as I turn back to look at the almost as broken as me boy that is walking with me to my car.
"Good bye Finn, now you don't have to be bothered by the girl who made a fool of her self at her first Glee club rehearsal.", I'm about to close the door to the sleek BMW. when Finn grabs my hand and turns me around.
" You aren't replaceable, you aren't a loser, your my everything and I'm sick of your self pity." he said sternly as he pulled me in closer and his left hand left my wrist and weaved it self into my hair as his other hand circled around my waist. He forcefully kissed me with all his pent up aggression try to convey to be what he was saying. What he meant . I moaned as he licked the bottom of my top lip prying my lips open. His tongue touched mine and we started a complicated tango that only we could dance. Passion ripped through the air as the broke apart gulping for much needed air. Finn pushes my hair that fell out of my hair band off my face and tucks it behind my ear. He leans his head against my forehead and gives me little sweet kisses all over my face.
"I love you Rachel, what I did with Santana didn't mean anything, I felt nothing. I feel the every color of the rainbow when I'm with you. My worst days with you are better than my best days without you. Your mine, and I might not be always so great with words and stuff. I'm not smart and I'm not Jesse. I like football and I can't sing as well as you. I love you Rachel Berry and it hurts me when you have self pity because that's not the Rachel Berry I love." he says grinning down at me.
I tug him back down to my lips wrapping my hands around him neck as one of his hands move to my butt hosting me up do that my legs wrap around his long body. He turns us so I'm pushed against the side of my car as we kiss passionately, me griping him harder making sure he never gets away. My lungs start to burn and no matter how good my breathing control is I have to get oxygen. I slowly pull away and refill my lungs with much needed air as Finn kisses my neck biting down making sure to leave a hickey. The bite wakes me out of my lust induced haze as was in. I pull away from him and give him an angered expression.
"Hows can I know that you are real Finn you have hurt me before why do you think..." I say as he holds me closer and cuts me off with a kiss as he pulls me into my car and holds me close while kissing my neck and keeping his eyes on the road. I understand what he is saying and think about as he holds me to his chest looking down at me as we turn the corner, his look filled with love. I don't know what will happen next, but before I can dwell on the future of our relationship. Before I know it Finn is dragging me into into the house and up the stairs to my cotton candy colored room.
I have one last thought that rushes through my head as our clothing is being removed and sounds of love and laughter fill my head.
Maybe Breakups aren't so over rated.