A/N: I've been writing this over a long period of time, going back and editing it a million times, and now I'm finally satisfied with how it's turning out. This fic will have 4 chapters in total. I hope you enjoy it!

Standard disclaimers apply.

Dear Lily

June

Dear Lily,

He scratches that and crumples the roll of parchment into a ball, tossing it over his shoulder. No way, she won't like that one bit. She'll somehow find a way to draw to the incorrect conclusion that he's trying to objectify her, or possess her. If he wants this to work, he has to make sure he leaves no openings for her to automatically reject him.

So he pulls out a fresh parchment, dips his quill into the ink bottle, and begins again:

Lily,

Better. Now…the hardest part. What the hell can he say? He has to sound honest, smooth, and mature. Three things he's totally not, at least not at the same time.

I know you hate me but please –

No. That sounds so desperate. While he's quite desperate for her attention and affection, he has some (a lot of) pride. He needs to start this better. He rips Failed Attempted Number Two into pieces and sprinkles them onto his desk. He's amused by the snow-effect until he realizes that it's just making his writing space cluttered. Swiping them away, he ponders on another way to do this.

Another parchment is rolled onto his desk and he writes:

Lily,

I'm sorry.

Right to the point. Might as well not beat around the bush. But what else can he write? He'll definitely have to list every single thing he's done to piss her off, so the apology is thoughtful. But the thought of writing everything down makes his hand cramp; he did way too many things that made her yell at, curse, and hate him over the years.

He flips the parchment to its other side and titles it: LIST OF OFFENSES AGAINST LILY MARIE EVANS:

1. Asking her out an infinite number of times, even though I've been rejected every single time. You'd think I'd get the hint after the first time. Or ten.

2. Hexing people for the fun of it. Even though all of them are gits one way or another.

3. Hexing her suitors and boyfriends. Except for that one in Fourth Year who tried to feel her up, she even thanked me for that; he doesn't count.

4. Hexing/bothering Snivellus even though she's friends with him for some bizarre reason. (He's reluctant to add this since he doesn't feel one iota of guilt, but he knows she really hates it, so he writes it down).

5. Disrupting her studies with my failed attempts at flirting.

6. Obnoxious displays of affection.

He can't think of anything else, but he supposes that this is a pretty good, encompassing list. So he pulls out another roll of parchment (he's going to have to buy more at this rate) and begins again:

Lily,

Bringing the feathered portion of the quill under his chin, he thinks for a second before he begins giggling. He was trying to be an intellect, figuring maybe if he acted like one, he would write like one, but instead he ends up tickling himself, which immediately shatters the image. Rubbing the tickled skin, he wonders what to write next.

Then it all comes to him in a rare burst of eloquence and maturity. At least for him.

It takes him a while since he's not used to spilling his emotions onto parchment, but he manages to do it for her. Grinning at the final product, he whistles as he fishes for an envelope from the piles of books and papers on his desk. But as soon as he places it in front of him, he curses. He doesn't know where she lives.

He knows she lives near Snivellus, but why would he ever want to know where he lives. Wait…why wouldn't he? The Marauders could do serious damage all year round. He makes a mental note to talk to Sirius about it when he visits.

But back to the important matter at hand: how the bloody hell is he going to find her address?

Does Moony know? A definite possibility. He pockets the letter and leaves his bedroom in order to get to the main fireplace, where the Potters are connected to the Floo Network.

He states his friend's address clearly, and doesn't wince as the green flames envelop his entire body, transferring him to the other side of England. Thankfully, Moony's parents didn't block off the fireplace – that happened one summer and James got a nasty gash on the back of his head. To this day, Remus is the only Marauder to know of this particular moment of embarrassment.

James tries to dust himself off so he doesn't get his friend's house too dirty, but his patience is very limited, given that he's sixteen, so he goes on ahead to find Remus. It doesn't take long – Remus is sitting in his father's office, two textbooks in front of him.

"Moony, ol' chap!" James greets amiably.

Remus looks up from the textbooks and smiles. "Prongs! A pleasant surprise."

James whisks off his glasses and begins to clean the soot off them. "I need a favor from you."

The smile slips off Remus' face. "I reserve the right to flat out deny your favor."

James rolls his eyes. Every time Sirius or James asks Remus for a favor, he always has to declare that. He claims it's because of some mishap in Third Year. You'd think he'd let that go already…

"Do you know Evans' address?"

"No."

"No as in…'no you don't'…'or no you won't give it to me.'"

"The latter."

"But Remy, I'm sending her a letter."

"There is no way I'm giving you her address. She was very hesitant to give it to me back in Third Year because she was afraid I would compromise her, and I can't –"

"It's an apology note."

Remus freezes in mid rant, his mouth still open. This lasts for a good few seconds until he says, "Seriously?"

James sighs. "Thank Merlin Paddy's not here to make another lame pun."

"You wrote on parchment, something you rarely do willingly –"

"Hey, that's not fair. I write to you guys over the summer!" James interrupts indignantly.

"And you humbled yourself and apologized for all the wrongdoings against Lily?" Remus continues, as if James didn't attempt to interrupt.

James sighs frustratingly. "Yes," he says through his teeth.

"I have to read it. I don't trust you."

"Cheers, Moony. After five years of friendship which involve keeping your lycanthropy and our illegal animagi forms a secret, you'd think you could trust me that I wrote a bloody letter."

"Just give me the letter!"

James hands the letter to Remus, suddenly feeling very insecure. Remus has an emotionless expression on his face, the same one he uses to look over Peter's essays. James shifts and begins to pace for a while until Remus looks up from the parchment and smiles. "It's good. For you, I mean. I know I could've written a more eloquent letter…but it's clearly from you. And it's sincere."

James lets out sigh of relief.

"But I'm going to send it."

James pouts. "Why? I thought it was Moony Approved!"

"Yes, but that doesn't mean she'll want to open a letter from you. Once she recognizes your owl, she'll probably rip up the letter. I'll send it. That way I can warn her." James still looks dissatisfied. "That's the best you're going to get," Remus adds.

"You're going to send it though, right?"

"I will. Promise."

James nods. "Okay. Cheers, mate." He turns to Remus' fireplace before he says, "Can you…?"

"It's between us."

"Thanks."

As soon as James travels back to his home, Remus pulls out a small roll of parchment and writes his own letter to Lily before sticking it in an envelope. He writes Read First at the top of the envelope before tying his and James' letters to his owl, Dickens.

While he watches Dickens fly away, he hopes Lily will be graceful and take James' apology to heart. There's only so much rejection James can handle.

Lily recognizes Remus' tawny owl as he flies into her bedroom.

"Dickens, how are you?" Lily coos as she strokes the owl. Noting two letters tied to his leg, she swiftly unties them and Dickens flies over to Lily's owl, Cinnamon, in the corner.

Lily opens the letter, pleasantly surprised. They don't really correspond by letter during summers, especially since they both have telephones, but occasionally they'll write each other book recommendations; sometimes it's more fun pen-palling. She's rather backlogged right now with literature, but she's sure she can make time to read whatever his suggestion is for the sake of conversation.

The labeling of the envelopes confuses her, but she opens the one that says Read First on the top.

Dear Lily,

I hope you've been having a lovely summer so far.

I know trust is a very important aspect of our friendship; I would never compromise your trust since you're one of the few bearers of my secret, and, most importantly, you're one of my dearest friends. But I also have my best friends to think of.

James came to me today and wanted your address. Of course I didn't give I to him, but I did say that I would send the letter he wanted to send to you. Don't worry, it doesn't sing or have any hidden magical properties; it's just a letter. Take it as you will.

I'll see you in September.

Sincerely,

Remus

Okay, definitely not a book recommendation. She's confused by this letter. Of course she knows she puts Remus in an awkward position: being her good friend, while being best friends with James Potter, and she appreciates the fact that Remus takes it all very graciously. But she just doesn't know – Remus does have a stronger loyalty to Potter, which was evident by the way he handled the Post-O.W.L.-Lake Incident at the end of last term.

Looking at the second letter, she now recognizes Potter's narrow handwriting. It just reads Lily Evans on it, leaving enough room at the bottom for an address. She immediately wants to throw it away, knowing Potter it probably has some sort of charm in it, and while she thinks Remus to be a clever wizard…James Potter is of a different level. Of course, she would never admit that.

But she has to trust Remus' word, at least a little. His opinion does mean something to her. Besides, Remus never tried to help Potter in his failed attempts to woo her; if anything, he always tried to rein Potter in, stop him from getting on her last nerve.

But isn't he doing the opposite by sending this, she questions as she twirls Potter's letter slowly between her fingers. Unless…this letter was Remus Approved?

Remus must've read this letter; he had to have. Now Lily is curious – what the hell could James Potter have to write to her that Remus would not only approve of, but he would send to her, encouraging her to read it?

She slowly opens it, hoping Remus was right about this being a regular letter.

When she unfolds the parchment, she closes her eyes and inhales deeply. Exhaling, she opens her eyes and begins to read:

Lily,

I know I'm the last person you want to hear from at all, let alone during the summer, but I want to apologize for everything. Anything I've done to upset you, piss you off, whatever. I don't know if this will mean anything, if I really messed things up for good, but I thought I'd give it a shot.

I really want a fresh start with you and maybe try and become friends. Or maybe that's too much…perhaps acquaintances? I would like the chance to prove that I'm not an arrogant, bullying toerag.

I hope you have a good summer break and I'll see you in the autumn.

With all sincerity,

James

She has to read it over five times for all the words to sink in. James Potter…apologizing for his scheming antics? Unheard of! She wonders if the other Marauders know about this. Probably not.

She immediately wants to dismiss this as another way to get her to go on a date with him. But…she can't. Although she doesn't want to believe it…there's something sincere about it. Honestly, she's so bloody tired of fighting with him…is she so desperate that she's reading too much into this letter, which is probably a joke?

Whenever she's distressed or indecisive (or both), she creates lists. So, she pulls out some parchment and begins her list:

LIST OF REASONS AGAINST TRUSTING JAMES WHATEVER-HIS-MIDDLE-NAME-IS POTTER:

1. He's asked me out a ridiculous number of times, despite rejecting him EVERY TIME. Honestly, if he weren't so thickheaded and obnoxious he would REALIZE that I DON'T want to date him!

Hm, doesn't that count as three? His asking her out a million times, being thickheaded, and being obnoxious? She supposes so. She pulls a new piece of parchment and begins her list again:

LIST OF REASONS AGAINST TRUSTING JAMES WHATEVER-HIS-MIDDLE-NAME-IS POTTER:

1. He's asked me out a ridiculous number of times, despite rejecting him EVERY TIME. I DON'T want to date him!

2. He's thickheaded (See reason one).

3. He hexes people for his own twisted pleasure.

4. He hexes any guy who shows ANY interest in me.

Oh, but there was that wanker in Fourth Year…she was actually very grateful that Potter was around then. She'll add that to the list of reasons to trust him. But for now she wants to continue the list of reasons not to trust him, since she's most comfortable with that.

5. He tortures Severus.

She didn't really mean to write this down, especially since they're not friends anymore due to the Post-O.W.L.-Lake Incident, which has made this summer particularly awkward. But even though they're not friends anymore, she still doesn't appreciate the Marauders being cruel to him.

6. He disrupts my studies with his "flirting."

Nothing annoys her more than being distracted from doing her work. She gets into a work mode, and when she's pulled out of that work mode, she gets very irritated, because it takes a while to get into it.

James Potter is a master of pulling her out of her work mode, and it pisses her off. She makes sure to underline this one. And go over it so it's bolded. Now it reads:

6. He disrupts my studies with his "flirting."

She continues with her list:

7. His obnoxious displays of affection, which are EMBARRASSING.

She can't even think about how many times he's yelled in the corridors, proclaiming his "love" for her. And on Valentine's Day? Don't get her started. She used to love the holiday (mostly for the chocolates and the pretty flowers), but once she started attending Hogwarts and met James Potter…he just makes the day unbearable.

8. He's arrogant.

There's no need to explain this one.

So, there's the list. It's pretty encompassing, and it's definitely solid proof as to why she should burn this letter and not give it another thought. She's rather pleased with herself.

But now she has to write the other list, as much as it makes her uncomfortable.

Hesitantly, she writes on another roll of parchment: LIST OF REASONS FOR TRUSTING JAMES WHATEVER-HIS-MIDDLE-NAME-IS POTTER:

Surprisingly, it doesn't take much hard thinking to write down reasons:

1. He's a loyal friend.

a. He accepts Remus for who he is.

2. He's kind…when he wants to be. Sometimes.

3. He genuinely cares about the safety/wellbeing of his classmates (some of them, at least). For example:

a. He saved me from that git in Fourth Year.

b. On complete impulse, he shoved Mary Macdonald out of the way in Fifth Year, saving her from a stray Jelly Jinx curse, accepting the brunt of it. He could've easily conjured a shield (as Sirius smartly pointed out), but James merely shrugged his shoulders, "I didn't really think about it."

c. Last term, a week after the Post-O.W.L.-Lake Incident, he slapped a Second Year upside the head since he was teasing a girl, driving her to tears. I overheard him say, "That's not how you win a bird over! Bloody hell, don't be a wanker to her! If you fancy her, be nice." Not that I condone physical violence on fellow students…it was rather sweet. The girl blushed like crazy when Potter asked her if she was alright (she doesn't know why she adds this last fact…probably because her cheeks were an identical shade of pink at the time?).

4. He's intelligent. He knows when he's getting himself into something long-term. Usually he tries to avoid those like hell, but if it's important…(see reason one).

If this were any other situation, she would say that the cons overweigh the pros: eight against four. But there's a hell of a lot more writing for the pro.

And there's something that she hasn't added to the pro list: her intuition. She can sense the time and effort he put into this letter. She knows he had to put away his pride to write this; thirteen, fourteen, and even fifteen-year-old James wouldn't have been able to do it.

Now he's sixteen, and it seems like he's finally starting to act his age.

She pockets his letter and leaves her room to go downstairs and use the telephone, hoping that Remus will answer (the last time she called, his father answered, and she doesn't want to talk to the depressed man – it always unsettled her).

Thankfully, Remus' pleasant voice fills Lily's ear after three rings.

"Hello?"

"Remus?"

"Lily," Remus says, clearly hesitant. "I assume you got the letters."

Lily swallows and begins twisting the phone cord around her finger. "Yeah."

There's a silence. "So…what do you think?"

She sighs. "Honestly? I want to dismiss it. But…"

"He's sincere."

She nods before remembering that he can't see her. "Yeah, I know."

"Do you have a plan?"

She's silent as she considers her options. "Obviously, I can't ignore this. But…I really hope this isn't a game."

Remus is silent for a moment before he quietly responds with, "I think it stopped being a game for him."

She stops breathing. What does that mean?

"Look, I'm clearly biased; I want him to be happy. But I know he's made things difficult for you at Hogwarts."

"You want me to give him a chance, don't you?"

"Pretty much. He's growing up. We all have to sometime."

She smiles. "You've always been grown up, I feel like."

"Well someone has to be with misfit friends like mine."

"All too true," she says a bit dryly. She sighs deeply, looking up at the ceiling. "Okay. I'll write him back. Where does he live? Merlin, I never thought I'd be asking that question…"

James waits almost two weeks with baited breath. His parents don't quite understand why their son is so restless these days (more than usual, anyway), but they figure it's just because he has no one to be with (at least until Sirius comes). There's only so long you can hang out with the house elves.

But then, finally, one glorious Saturday afternoon, he sees an owl flying towards his house.

Lily's owl.

He starts squealing like a thirteen-year-old girl for about three seconds before he composes himself.

"You can do this, you can be mature," he mutters to himself, rocking back and forth on the heels of his shoes in nervousness.

The windows are already open since it's so bloody hot out, and now he just has to wait for Lily's owl, Cinnamon, he believes (oh, whom is he kidding? He knows her owl's name is Cinnamon), to make a safe landing into his bedroom.

"Come on, Cinnamon, come to me," James coos, practically hanging out of the window.

He has no patience.

Cinnamon, being as wary of James as her owner, starts slowing down right before she can be within reach of James' outstretched hands.

James sighs. "Please? I need the letter."

Cinnamon doesn't come any closer.

James sighs again. "Fine. I'll come in. So you have to also."

James falls back inside and waits impatiently for the owl to fly in, which she does a few seconds later.

James is pretty sure that Cinnamon is trying to stay as far away from him as possible as he unties the letter from her leg. When James is finished, he says, "You can rest in…cage…" he trails off incoherently because Cinnamon zooms out of James' room, already flying back to Lily's house.

James shrugs. "Oh well."

He looks down at the letter, recognizing the loopy cursive that only belongs to Lily Evans. Suddenly, he's more nervous than excited. Maybe it just tells him to stick his apology up his arse.

"Well, it doesn't matter now, does it? You said your few words of peace and it's her decision whether she wants to give you a chance," he says out loud. "Now, Potter, open the bloody letter."

He opens the envelope, managing to give himself a parchment cut. "Bloody fucker!" he hisses, bringing his hurt finger into his mouth, sucking on the wound. Whimpering, he pulls out the letter with one hand, which is very difficult for him.

But he manages it, and he reads through the letter quickly, rationalizing that the faster he reads it, the faster he can get it over with, and maybe it won't hurt as badly.

Of course, the words mush together and he can't focus, so the second time he goes through the letter, he reads each sentence slowly:

James,

I appreciate your apology, thank you. I don't see the harm in trying to be acquaintances, but if this is another one of your games, I won't forgive you.

I hope you enjoy the rest of your summer, and make sure you do your homework; I know that you and Black like to do it all the night before, which is wrong.

See you at school.

- Lily

With trembling hands, James feels tears in his eyes for the first time since the family cat Midnight died when he was eight. But he's so happy.

Maybe this time, this year, things will finally be different.

Of course, less than ten minutes after receiving Lily's letter, James uses the Floo Network to travel to Remus' house to share the great news.

"I'm very happy for you, Prongs, really. This is great," Remus says, reading the brief letter over, a small but relieved smile on his face. "It will certainly make my life a hell of a lot easier now that you two won't jump down each other's throats."

James beams with pride. "This could be the year."

Remus drops his arm holding the letter with exasperation. "James! No! You can't pursue her anymore! This is your only chance to have any sort of decent relationship with her. If you so much as look at her funny, she'll never speak to you again. Is that what you want?"

James' grin fades a little. He knows his past years of indiscretions have royally screwed him over, but he's ready now. His feelings for Lily have gotten a little deeper, and now every rejection cuts him harder and deeper than the last. The chase isn't fun anymore; he wants something a little more tangible now.

"I know," James admits, crossing his arms. "She's a great person. I admire her. And I would like her to like me." Remus is about to open his mouth to counter what James said, but he realizes quick enough. "Not fancy me…just…like me. Tolerate me. You know…enjoy my company. Share a laugh."

Although Sirius may be James' best friend, practically his twin brother, somehow he can only admit such things to Remus.

Probably because only Remus would respond to that comment with an understanding smile. "I know you do. You'll be okay. In fact, to prove how much I trust you on this…I'll give you Lily's address."

James' eyes would've popped out of his skull and onto the wooden floor below him if his glasses weren't on his face to keep them in. "What? Really?"

Remus nods. "Yeah. You can start writing to each other now. Maybe that will ease you two into a comfortable friendship."

James grins. "Moony, you're the best. The best. Remind me to buy you some books in Hogsmeade when we go back to Hogwarts."

"Count on it," Remus says as he writes Lily's address on a spare piece of parchment. But before he hands it over, Remus says in a warning tone, "Don't abuse this."

James reaches for the parchment, and before he takes it out of Remus' grasp, he says, "I won't. Promise."

"Marauder Honor?" Remus says, trying to hold back a smile.

James can't hold back his. "Even better. The new and improved James H. Potter gives his word."

Remus laughs. "Alright. We'll see how much better that is."

James pockets the address. "Remember, after your family trip and after the full moon in August, you're coming to my house. Wormtail will come Friday and Padfoot should be there Saturday."

"I know. Can't wait."

"When are you leaving for Ireland?"

"In an hour. My dad's finishing his packing now."

"Well, have a good trip." But before he walks back to the fireplace, he looks down at the table in front of Remus and notices that he was in the middle of writing a letter when he first came in. A rather long letter, by the looks of it. As much as Remus cares about his fellow Marauders, he never writes letters of this length to them. "Whom are you writing to?" James inquires innocently.

"I commend you on your proper usage of 'whom,'" Remus replies evasively.

"It's Thea Driscoll, isn't it. Teddi, as you're fondly calling her," James adds the last part after he glances at his friend's letter.

Remus flushes. "We're friends, you prat," he snaps, grabbing the letter so it's out of James' sight.

James smirks in triumph. "Huh."

"We are! And loads of people call her Teddi," he adds desperately.

"Okay, first off, no one calls her Teddi except for the Hufflepuff girls, her younger sister in Gryffindor, a random Slytherin girl, and now you. Only those very dear to her are allowed to call her that. And secondly, the friendship will change. You guys have been library buddies for the past five years. You fancy her, she fancies you…I say just ask her out already."

"No offense, Prongs, but I really doubt I should be taking relationship advice from you."

"Touché." James shrugs. "Okay. Whatever. Stay friends. Even though I know you want more." He steps into the fireplace, grabbing some floo powder. "Honestly, mate, if you can have more with her, and you want it, go for it." Because it sucks when you want it, and you have no chance, he thinks to him wryly. And when she loathes your guts.

Right before throwing the floo powder at his feet and stating his house's location, James catches a glance at Remus, who's folding his letter into an envelope, a thoughtful look on his face.

James grins, happy that he got the wheels turning in his friend's mind.

He travels back to his home, thinking about what he could talk about with Lily. He knows that she and Remus always talk about books, but James isn't much of a reader unless it's about Quidditch. Perhaps they can talk about that? He knows she enjoys the game, but he also knows she thinks he takes it way too seriously.

Hm, he'll have to think about this.

A/N: If you liked it, REVIEW! If you hated it, REVIEW! If you're indifferent, REVIEW! (Do you notice the pattern?)

MissGoalie