I always thought it would be all right, I would be all right. I was his little favourite after all. I was so naive. So naive until the very end.
"Hey Toris!" I yelled happy I found him. The Soviet House was so big. If you weren't looking for someone it could easily take weeks, no months before you saw them pass by.
Toris slowly turned around. His face looked like he had seen a ghost but as soon as his eyes met mine he made that expression fade away and tried his best to get a little forced smile on his face.
"Hi Latvia," he said while breaking the eye contact.
"I told you, you can call me Raivis if we're not in a meeting," I reminded him.
"Oh... I'll try to remember."
It looked like his attentions were to leave, which wasn't something the Toris I knew would do. Only my voice stopped him from doing so.
"What's wrong Toris?" I asked concerned.
"What's wrong, you asked?" He got a little mocking smile on his face. "Please Latvia, you're not going to make me believe you're that naive."
I blinked a few times, not knowing how to react.
"What do you mean Toris?" I asked, ignoring the fact he called me Latvia again.
A soft bitter laugh passed Toris his lips. His hair, which never strayed from its neat form, was a mess and hung in front of his face, leaving a dark shadow.
"I can't believe this. You should have noticed at least something about us recently."
Again I blinked, feeling a bit stupid and hurt.
"Please tell me Toris. I really don't know what you are talking about."
Finally he snapped. With his fist he took his shirt and ripped it of his body. He turned around so I had a good view of his back.
"This is what I'm talking about!" he almost cried.
Seeing his back made my heart skip a beat. Long red painful looking streams where on his back. He was tortured with a whip, I could tell.
"B-but why?" I was trembling and even though I really did my best I wasn't able to not make my voice tremble as well.
Toris turned back to me. The look in his eyes was deadly, as if I was the one who tortured him.
"Don't you get it Latvia? After all these years of repression my people want to be free. You can't force people to believe what you believe in. That's why I know the Soviet Union will fall."
Scared I looked around me. After I saw we were the only ones in the hallway I felt relieved but the things Toris was talking about still were making me scared.
"Please stop talking like that Toris! You know Ivan doesn't want us to talk that way about…"
"What can he do?" Toris interrupted me.
"He can…" Slowly the truth became clear to me. "Hurt us."
Toris gave a little nod.
"Yes, hurt us." He took his ripped shirt from the ground and looked at the damage. "And he won't hesitate to do it."
He looked at me with sad eyes, but slowly he got the warm kind expression I remembered him with back.
"Please be careful in these dark times Latvia."
Nervously I was standing in front of his door. I wanted to give up and run away, but that wasn't going to stop the nightmares I had every night. I seemed that within every passed night the nightmares became worse. When I dreamed about Russia shooting every single one of the Soviet Nations through the head I decided all this had to stop. Still shaking I knocked on his door and knew that from that moment there was no going back.
"Come in," a friendly sounding voice said, but I knew that the person the voice belonged to was far from friendly.
I took a deep breath before slowly opening the door. I looked inside and my stomach turned into ice by seeing the man who kept coming back in my nightmares.
"Latvia, what a nice surprise," Ivan said truly sounding happy. "Please come further in. I'm glad to see you."
Being pleasured by his kindness, opposite to his behaviour in my nightmares, I gave him a small nod and stepped inside. I closed the door behind me and directly felt trapped. I sat down in the chair opposite from Ivan, not making eye contact with him once.
"So, tell me Latvia, why do I get the honour of you visiting me tonight," he said with a grimy smile on his face.
The smile made a shiver go through my body but I ignored it and got to the point.
"This has to stop Russia!" I said with a powerful voice I didn't know I had.
The smile got off his face, probably because I called him Russia which I almost never do. I couldn't tell if that was a good or a bad thing.
"What are you talking about?" he asked with a scary undertone.
"The torturing, it has to stop!" I shouted with fire in my eyes.
His eyes which had started out friendly with a sparkle of joy inside them suddenly got as cold as ice. I felt my heart racing, but I wasn't going to run away. I wouldn't be able to escape anyway.
"The torturing? ... Oh Raivis. I was hoping I never had do this to you but..." Ivan reached up, making me feel even smaller than normal. "These are the rules."
I know I had to run, that I had to try to escape but my body just couldn't move. I was staring into his cold eyes hoping he would at least take it easy on me, but that was lost hope.
"Stand up Raivis. This will be less painful if you just give in."
Of course I heard these words, but I refused to listen to them. All I did was stare into his eyes, not moving an inch.
"Come on Raivis." For a moment it looked like he was in a pain. "I really don't want to do this to you."
"Then don't do it," I answered calmly.
I was surprised that even though I felt like I was going to collapse I could hold up my poker face.
"That is out of question. You leave me no choice."
Suddenly his strong hand grabbed my hair, pulling me up of my chair. It hurt as hell but no word or cry passed my lips. Then he pushed my against the wall, making an awful pain shot through my spine. But still I didn't gave in.
"Let me go," I said with such a calm and dark voice both Ivan and I were surprised.
I felt like something strong inside me was slowly taking over me. At first I had no idea what it was but slowly I became to realize it was the power of my people. Toris was right. You can't force people to believe what you believe in. That's why the Soviet Union will fall.
For a moment Ivan looked like his attentions really were to let me go, but that deception to the eye didn't hold stand for long. He let go of my hair but closed his fingers around my neck instead, squeezing my trachea. My eyes widened while slowly the amount of oxygen inside my blood was becoming less and less. Just before I passed out a strong power from the inside took over my body. It was like I was reborn as an older and stronger version of myself. If felt the power become stronger and stronger and no longer was it Ivan who had the control, it was me. I found the strength to kick Ivan in his stomach. His purple cold eyes flew open wide of terror. He let go of me and started to spit out blood. He let himself fall to the ground, his big body shacking like mine had always done in his presence. I looked down at the sudden pathetic looking man. This man had done so many awful things, yet I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. He had the dream of everyone being the same, everyone being happy, everyone accepting each other and living in harmony, but his plans to make his dream come true didn't work out. In the end he had achieved nothing, and it had cost multiple lives.
I watched how Ivan spit out more blood. I was wondering if I really had kicked him that hard, when suddenly the answer shot through me as lighting. Not only I but all the nations under the control of the all mighty Soviet Union were rebelling. The Soviet Union was falling.
Suddenly Ivan stopped spitting out blood. He looked up at me with glistening tears in the corners of his eyes.
"Please Raivis," he said while reaching with his hand for me. "Don't leave me."
I watched the scene emotionless. Never before I had seen Ivan crying. It was painful to watch and it reminded me that even the strongest nations could fall.
"No," I said determined. "It's time for us…"
Suddenly I felt a strong bound with all the other rebelling countries. All fighting for their freedom in their own way. I turned my back towards Ivan. There was nothing more to do, nothing more to say, except one thing.
"To go…" I stepped out of the room and closed the door behind me. "And to never look back."
