A/N: Major Spoilers. Don't read if you haven't read through at least Ep 7.
He only loves her...when she's something that she's not. He only looks at her with such compassion in his eyes... when she's dressed as the Golden Witch. He loves her...only when she's Beatrice.
Battler never came back for her. His true feelings were made clear—The promise was nothing more than the playful joke of a young child. She should have known that and she should have moved on. ...But it still hurt.
It hurt when he didn't come back. She wanted to take a knife and dig it into her skin when everyone received a letter from him except her. Did all the time they had spent together really mean so little to him?
They may had just been young children playing in a world of mystery, but she thought it meant something. She thought it was love.
He really must have hated her, for how could he not? She was a wreck, both physically and mentally. He never viewed her as more than just a lowly servant to pass the time with while the adults were busy arguing over whatever. ...That must have been it.
But after everything that had happened, she had entered in to the sanctity of marriage with him—with the one she loved. ...But she wasn't her. They could only be together like that because she had become Beatrice the Golden. He never would have married Shannon—or even Kanon—a servant who could barely even follow orders without it resulting in some type of poor sight. Battler only loves Beatrice.
Which is why, when she finally breaks down while they are enjoying some tea together—while she is the golden witch—and she voices these thoughts to him, crying into her hands, she's surprised by his gentle tone.
"Beato..."
...But it's not her he's talking to. It is, but it isn't, and the sad truth of that fact just makes her heart throb even more.
"Who am I?"
When she had asked him those three words at the end of their fight for the 4th game, it was a question she desperately wanted an answer to as well. Who was she? By that point, she didn't even know. She wish she could just be...herself. Instead of just a pretender.
She wanted to be worthy of love from the one she sought to be loved by...without being a lie.
"Battler-san...you can only speak so gently...because the name you're calling isn't mine...It's Beatrice-sama's..."
Even though she still had the appearance of the beautiful woman in the portrait, she had long since melted back into what she actually was: an insecure, repulsive liar. She was a horrible person. Disgusting. Furniture. No wonder he never returned for her. She was...not even human.
"What are you saying?"
His words were still soft as he was trying to understand her feelings. In the golden land they had created together, she continued to sob silently, but let out a small laugh, despite herself. She really did have to spell everything out for him.
Or maybe...he did already understand. He just wanted her to say what was on her mind. To get it all out. He cared for her well-being. That was just the kind of person Battler was. But the more she thought about how he was talking to Beatrice and not her, the more she worried their golden land would crumble away.
Yet, even with that fear plaguing her thoughts, she couldn't bear to act like everything was alright anymore,
"...Battler-san...You only look at me like that...when I'm the Golden Witch. ...You only speak with such kindness...when I resemble the woman in the portrait. ...You...only love me...when I'm something that I'm not..."
A long silence followed. Did he not know what to say? Of course not. It was the truth after all, and he must have felt guilt sting in his heart at that very moment. It only made sense. What didn't make sense, was what he said when he found the words he'd been searching for,
"...Shannon. That's not true at all. ...Yes, I love Beato, but she's only part of who you are. ...So, rather than saying I love you for something you're not, I love you for everything you are.
I love you when you play pranks in the dark halls of the mansion at night. I love you when you're a timid servant who does her best to do her job as well as she can. I love you when you're an angsty teenager who's still trying to find himself in the world. I even love you when we're arguing over the games we play.
I love you for you, Sayo. And no matter what form you take, you'll always be my Golden Witch. ...You'll always be the person who I love with all my heart.
...And Aniki and Jessica love you like that too. We love you for everything you are, so please don't say a part of you is something you're not, because it's not a lie. ...It's a beautiful truth. ...A golden one. You showed us all such wonderful magic by being everything you are. ...We love you, Sayo. ...And in this Golden Land we have created, we can all be happy together."
She had long since ceased her crying. Her hands no longer held her face to catch her tears. She stared, eyes wide, at the person across from her. He had such a soft smile on his face. All his words...were so sincere.
Tears resumed trickling down her face, but for an entirely different reason. She was...happy. ...So happy.
"...Battler...san...I...Me too...I love you, too...And George-san and Jessica...I love you all...so much...For everything you all are..."
She tried to wipe the tears away, but more just came and her vision continued to blur. Battler stood from his chair and made his way to embrace her. Their tea had long since gotten cold, but it didn't matter. In their golden land, they could always just brew more. After all, it would only take a bit of magic, and they had all the time in the world.
They would all be together for all eternity.
I originally wanted to have this up for Umineko day, but...*glances at the calendar* heh. Oh well. Only about ten days late :D Anyway, I've seen people talking about how Battler only cares about the Beatrice persona, and I wanted to work with making that not the case. Also, I've been pretty down lately, so naturally angst is the answer ^-^ Lol, typing this actually made me feel a bit better though, as I'm sure it did Sayo. Well, you know the drill! I'm up for requests and ideas for this collection of fics (over on my other account, but it would be posted on this one too). Also, I appreciate reviews and whatnot~ Peace out, kids!