Note:I'm still working on all my other fanfics but this came to me in a dream last night and it has to be addressed. Otherwise I go nuts.
Damn, my "w" key is broken! The little cap is falling off. THIS IS A BRAND NEW COMPUTER NOOOOOOO. It's ok. I've got a three-year warranty on the thing. Apple will fix it.
I tried to exaggerate Dedede's accent because in the English dub he just sounds so silly!
I don't own Kirby or any characters thereof; this is just a fanfic. But oh, don't I wish, eh?
Love at First Sandwich
16-year-old Tiff wandered through the castle, looking for someone.
"Meta Knight? Meta Knight!" She was looking for Meta Knight for a reason: she wanted to ask him out. Well, not in that sense directly, but she noticed he was always so cooped up in the castle, and she wanted to do something nice for him in exchange for all the help he's given her over the years. She had a picnic basket in her hands and she was going to ask Meta Knight if he'd accompany her. "Meta Kniiiiiight!" she called out.
Meta Knight was asleep at the time, having been up late doing all sorts of odd things for Dedede and Escargoon. Seriously, sometimes the knight wondered if he was less a bodyguard and more a menial servant. He heard a faint cry of his name and stirred from his slumber.
"Wha--" He tumbled out of bed and poked his head out of his bedroom door.
"Oh, there you are, Meta Knight!" Tiff noticed him.
Meta was slightly taken aback by the sudden sound of Tiff's voice and her body suddenly flying into the door and hugging him. His eyes glowed white in shock for a split second before returning to their normal color.
"Hello, Tiff. Is there a reason you're here so early?" He slurred tiredly, his accent very prominent and it made him a little hard to understand. Luckily years of listening to him had sort of deafened Tiff to the slur, so to speak.
"It's not early, silly, it's 1 in the afternoon!"
Meta Knight found this sort of amusing and more than a little shocking. "Really? I've slept the morning away, then, haven't I?" He shook himself awake. Tiff let him go and stood back.
"I guess so. I came here to ask you something."
"Yes, Tiff? Do you need my help?"
"well, sort of..." Tiff started. "I noticed that you're spending all of your time in this castle lately, and it's starting to, well... concern me. I thought I'd do something nice for you for once and ask... well... do you want to go on a picnic with me in the meadow?"n
Meta Knight smiled under his mask, and his eyes glowed blue for a moment. He chuckled and said, "That sounds very nice, Tiff. It would be nice to get away from the castle for a day. Of course I will go with you."
"Yes! Ok, come on, then!" Tiff grabbed Meta Knight by the hand and dragged him out, and due to the height difference he was literally off the ground. He had to hold his mask on with his free hand to avoid it flying off and hitting someone in the face. The same could not be said for his cape, which got caught on a nail and flew off him, revealing tightly-folded devil wings strapped to his back using the strap of the mask. His shoulder armor clattered to the floor.
Dedede heard the noise and sent Escargoon to investigate. The snail slithered up and saw two shoulder pieces and a cape, but nothing else.
"Sire, it kind of looks like Meta Knight's armor and cape." He reported back to Dedede.
"What's that knight runnin' 'round in the nude fo'?" Dedede inquired.
"I don't know, sire, but its gotta be important or I doubt Meta Knight would just forget he wasn't wearing clothes."
"Tiff! Tiff! Slow down! You're going to crash at this rate!" Meta Knight nearly yelled. Escargoon looked out.
"Didja find him?" Dedede asked.
"I think so, sire. He's flying down the hallway being dragged around by Sir Ebrum's daughter."
"What's d'at girl need him fo'?"
"I'm not sure, sire. It seems she's taking him somewhere."
"Well, go find out! Anythin' she needs him fo' is gotta be good enough for me!" Dedede said arrogantly.
"Yes, sire..." Escargoon rushed out. He caught up to Tiff.
"Hey, there, girly. What're you runnin' off so quickly for?" He asked. Tiff had to stop to answer, and Meta Knight stumbled around dizzily for a few seconds before falling flat on his bottom and holding his head.
"We're going on a picnic, Escargoon, and you're not invited, so shoo."
"Now listen here--" Escargoon started, only to be shushed by Tiff.
"Shoo!"
"Hmph." Escargoon slithered off.
"So?"
"She's taking him on a picnic, sire."
"Let's crash d'at party!"
"Sire, come on. Aren't you even a little tired of chasing after Kirby's friends after all this time? Can't we leave them alone, just this once? This seems important to the girl."
Dedede thought for a moment. He was about to say no when he realized he was just too lazy and didn't want to expend the extra effort right now.
"Fine. But you're doin' mah laundry fo' a month."
"I already do, sire. It's not that big of a deal for me."
Meta Knight stood back up. "Tiff, can we not do that again?"
"Sorry, Meta Knight. I didn't realize I was making you nauseous."
"I will be alright. We still have to eat, no? Come."
"Right!" Tiff walked along with Meta Knight (who was still stumbling slightly).
They made it out of the castle unscathed. They made their way all the way to the far meadow and set up.
"Did you make all of this food?" Meta Knight asked.
"Everything but the stew there. Kawasaki made that."
Meta Knight was about to take a bite when he heard that and put his spoon down.
"Good idea." Tiff said. "We can dump it later so Kawasaki thinks we ate it and won't feel bad."
"For a chef, he's a horrible cook." Meta Knight said.
"Agreed. But, he's the only chef in Cappy Town."
"Well, this is fantastic food. You should take over Kawasaki's business. Give him a cut of the profits. He'll love you for it."
"No, I don't want to do that. It would hurt him more than help him. You really think my food is good?" Tiff asked, her face flushing red.
"Let's just say I was starting to forget what food was supposed to taste like before." Meta Knight said.
"You're too sweet, Meta Knight."
"I am only speaking the truth. Do you mind if I take this jam home with me?"
"Go right ahead." Meta Knight stuck the jar in his cape, along with the knife and spoon. His eyes flashed blue and then closed in contentment.
"You really like it that much?" Tiff asked again.
Meta Knight nodded.
Tiff tilted her head. "You know, Meta Knight, I have never seen you without your mask on. Even when you eat, you put the food under your mask. You know, when you do that it kind of looks like you're eating your hand."
"I guess I just never had a reason to remove it before."
"Why not now?"
Meta Knight shook his head. "I'm not particularly a big fan of my own face." He admitted.
"Oh, come on. You can't be that bad."
"I'll describe it but I'm not taking the mask off."
"Ok."
"Ok, imagine Kirby."
"Ok..."
"Now imagine him bigger."
"Got it."
"Now imagine him navy blue."
"Ok..."
"Now imagine his eyes and lips white."
"Ok."
"There you go."
"Really?"
"Knight's honor." Meta Knight assured.
"Even your lips are white?"
"Don't ask me why. They've always been that way."
"But your eyes are yellow."
"Through the mask they are. If I took it off, they'd be white. The mask colors the wearer's eyes a yellow tint. Say, if Kirby, who has blue eyes, were to wear it, his eyes would appear green. Blue plus yellow equals green."
"I see. My eyes are green. Would they appear a more yellow shade of green?"
"Most likely."
They ate in silence for a few more minutes before TIff said, "Meta Knight, I want to thank you for the help you've given me and Kirby over the years."
"This sandwich is thanks enough." Meta Knight mumbled through a mouthful of food.
"No, really. Without your help we would have never defeated Nightmare. We would never have known Kirby's true abilities. We'd still be in square one. In fact, we'd probably all be dead."
"Tiff, it was the least I could do for Kirby. He's a Star Warrior now. I only had to push him along but it was really you who got him to shine."
"Meta Knight..."
"Tiff, you were the one who was able to summon the Warpstar. You were basically the only one Kirby would listen to. All I ever did was appear randomly on top of tall objects and tell you what Kirby just transformed into, then disappear again. Sure, I told you how he got here and why, but that's about all I ever did was talk."
Tiff leaned down and hugged Meta Knight. He visibly stiffened in surprise, not being used to being hugged so...gently.
"Meta Knight, you've helped us in so many ways. Don't keep telling yourself that all you did was talk. You saved my life when I was drowning in the river. You saved Kirby when the Wolfwrath tried to attack him. You built the Halberd for God's sake!"
Meta Knight's eyes darkened in thought. "Yes..." he murmured.
He looked up at Tiff and smiled behind his mask. She'd grown into a beautiful girl. She was taller now (much to his dismay; he liked it better when he didn't have to fly three feet off the ground to look her in the eye), and her hair was longer. Her features were more pointed and thin than her mother's or father's, giving her a fragile, "ice-princess" sort of look. She'd changed from the pink and green one piece suit to a pink top and green shorts. Not a huge change of clothes, but it was different than before.
"Tiff... give yourself some credit as well. You figured out Dedede's schemes. You're the smartest girl I've ever met, certainly. How do you find the time to keep so busy with Kirby and books and the like and still find a way to keep yourself so beautiful?"
Tiff looked at him. The realization of what he'd just said hit Meta Knight like a ton of bricks. But then he realized... I meant every word.
Slowly, Tiff dug her fingernails under the sides of Meta Knight's mask.
"What are you--"
"I want to see for myself." Tiff said quietly. She peeled off his mask and placed it on the ground. Meta Knight blinked and squinted at the sudden increase of light but slowly his eyes opened and focused completely.
He smirked. "I told you, didn't I?"
"That... you did." Their faces were about an inch apart.
"Kiss 'er! Kiss 'er!" A voice sounded from behind them. Both heads flipped in that direction to see Tuff rounding the hill and running up it.
"Tuff, what are you doing here?!" Tiff snapped.
"I was wondering where ya went so I asked around and Kawasaki told me you asked for picnic food so then I asked around the castle and Escargoon said you'd be in the meadow with Meta Knight. So I came up here. What was goin' on?"
Meta Knight scrambled around and put his mask back on.
"We were talking about stuff. Now go home." Tiff replied, humiliated.
"What were you doin', whispering it in his ear?"
"Go home, Tuff!"
"Come on, Tiff, don't think I'm that stupid."
"Tuff, if you don't go home, I'm going to tell Mom who really lost her diamond necklace playing poker with Torkori."
"You wouldn't dare."
"Underage gambling, Tuff, really? I would have expected better." Meta Knight said, chuckling.
"S-shut up!" Tuff shivered. "You can't prove anything!" He ran off, screaming, "You're both stupid!"
Tiff turned back to Meta Knight. "I'm sorry, Meta Knight. That wasn't supposed to happen."
Meta Knight slumped. "It... It doesn't matter now, Tiff. Knowing your brother he's probably off spreading some story." He stood up slowly. "Thank you for this picnic, Tiff. But I'm afraid I must get back to the castle."
"Meta Knight, wait!" Meta Knight stopped. "Can't we at least try to ignore it for now? Can't we have fun while today lasts?"
"But what about after today?"
Tiff looked at him oddly. "What do you mean?"
"After today, it will just go back to being the same old thing. Day after day, I'll be forced to sit back and watch from afar as... never mind. It's not important."
"Meta Knight, what is it?"
"It's just... The years have passed, and through that time we've all grown for the better. But what about me? I'm stuck in the same rut day after day. This mask and this sword of mine; all it marks is that I've spent my life fighting. Once the fighting was over I... well, I'm not used to such a worry-free life. "
"Meta Knight, you're so important to all of us. Don't start to feel down on yourself now."
"It's nothing. You shouldn't be subjected to my worries."
"Meta Knight, come on and sit down. Eat some more."
Meta Knight sat back down. He didn't eat, though. Instead he opted to merely stare blankly in Tiff's general direction.
"Meta Knight?"
Meta Knight was shivering and his eyes turned dark.
"Meta Knight, are you crying?"
He didn't answer.
"Meta Knight, don't cry."
"Why not? Every day, I wake up, look at the clock and think 'it's another day where I have to keep my damn mouth shut!' Do you have any idea as to why I've been so close these past years? Why I always seemed to be right there? It was you, Tiff. I knew if I could only be there, if I could only get a little closer... perhaps I would not be so alone."
Tiff sniffled. Tears began to form in her eyes.
"Meta Knight..."
Meta Knight tore off his mask and threw it behind him, where it clattered against a rock and fell to the grass and lay there, silent and stoic.
"Why'd you do that?"
Meta Knight didn't answer, but instead sent a withering glance her way. He was tired. Tired of fighting, tired of keeping himself mysterious, tired of life, really. He'd lived for so long.
Tiff leaned in and pressed her lips to his. Meta Knight's eyes shot wide open, glowing orange in a mixture of pleasure and shock. They gradually returned to their normal white color as he returned the kiss with passion finally unleashed.
Meanwhile, Dedede, on top of a spire with a telescope, saw the whole ordeal and fell out of his seat.
"What is it, sire?" Escargoon asked.
"I'm jus' wonderin' what their kids are gonna look like." Dedede joked, pointing at the telescope. Escargoon looked through and his eyes widened.
"Whoa." He said. "Is that his tongue?"
"I dunno, but can y'all say blackmail?"
"Sire, you're not really going to blackmail Meta Knight with this, are you? I mean, you've already got him up half the night doing odd jobs. What else could you possibly want from him?"
"Not him, ya slimy snail! Her! Think of the possibilities!"
"Sire, I don't want to know what's runnin' through your head right now." His comment fell on deaf ears as Dedede already had a camera out. Escargoon sighed and rolled his eyes.
Tiff broke the kiss for air. Both her and Meta Knight spent a few minutes catching their breath.
Meta Knight was stunned for a moment before regaining the ability to form a complete sentence and said, "Wh-What was that for?"
"Because you should know how important you are to me. You've saved my life countless times, and through all of our adventures and trials, I guess I... fell in love."
"Tiff, I loved you from the first moment I met you. I just didn't say anything because you were too young. For anyone else, I would not do what I have done for you."
"Not even for Sword and Blade?"
"Are you kidding? If they were drowning in a river, I'd tell them 'good luck with that!' and let them figure it out. They may not be too bright but they've got it where it counts, you know? But for you, Tiff, I'd drown myself to make a stepping stool out of my corpse for you."
"Morbid but very flattering." Tiff said. She leaned in and they kissed again, more passionately than before. Meta Knight cursed the fact she had to lean down to kiss him, but vowed to somehow remedy the situation. Big shoes, maybe? Meta Knight then lost all train of thought as the kiss got deeper and more fiery. Meta Knight's lips burned from the kiss, but he couldn't get enough. It was like an intoxicating drug injected right into every cell in his body, and he was getting high off the euphoric feeling of love. It wasn't lust, what he felt. Yes, Tiff was beautiful, and yes, she was certainly what Meta Knight would consider "hot", but right now all he wanted was not her body, but just her presence. So no, Meta Knight was not feeling lust, just love. Not the kind of sappy, gooey, teenager-y love where he would be at her door every day with flowers and candy, or take her on lame dates, but the kind of love that let Tiff know he would be there whenever she needed him. The kind of love where he would die for her, whether she wanted him to or not. Meta Knight had never felt this kind of love before, and frankly it was overwhelming. His senses shut down, leaving him blind and deaf to the world, and all he could feel was her lips. It felt like his heart was on fire, and he never wanted it to end.
Tongues danced in an epic waltz as loving whimpers and mewls created the rhythm. Ambient music of hungry grunts and sounds drowned out the world around them, and created their own, if just for that moment. Their hands were clasped together in desperate passion.
They broke the kiss for air once again.
"Lets...get back...to the castle..." Meta Knight panted.
"Yeah..." Tiff agreed weakly, her eyes glassed over.
"As soon as I... remember how to use my feet." Meta Knight said.
"That was...pretty intense, wasn't it?"
"Intense isn't even the word. Try 'acid-trip insane'." Meta Knight said.
"How would you know what an acid trip feels like?"
"I wouldn't but at a hazard I'd guess it feels something like that."
"Did you... like it?"
"If I didn't I wouldn't be here, Tiff." Meta Knight's eyes glowed blue in happiness and contentment.
A third searing kiss sealed the deal.
"Sire, stop, please, don't bother developing those. Meta Knight is happy; can't you understand that?" Escargoon begged Dedede as the king rushed inside with a full roll of film.
"How come he gets a gal and all I get is bunk?" Dedede demanded. "If I can't get a gal, neith'a can he."
"Because frankly, sire, you're not a nice person and girls like nice people. No girl would want you after hearing you're about to blackmail a teenage girl and her foot-and-a-half-tall boyfriend!" Escargoon snapped. Dedede was taken aback slightly. He never saw Escargoon snap at him like that before. It both made him proud that the snail finally grew some balls, and infuriated that he'd speak that way to his king. "I'm sorry, sire, but it needed to be said. You may be the king but not all girls are attracted to money and power. A real girl, a good girl, likes a guy for who he is and honestly, your Majesty, there isn't much of you that redeems you."
Dedede fell silent.
"Escargoon, why y'all tellin' me this now?"
"Because I care about this kingdom and its people more than you do." Escargoon turned around and slithered off in the opposite direction, leaving a shocked and thoughtful Dedede behind. He looked down at the roll of film in his hands and opened his hand, letting the film roll off his mitten and thunk, right into the garbage can. He looked back up at Escargoon's disappearing form down the hallway.
"W-wait, Escargoon!" Dedede called. Escargoon stopped for a moment. Dedede sent a thumbs-up in his direction. ". . . .Give 'em congrats from ol' Dedede."
Escargoon turned his head and smiled. "Will do, your Majesty."
END