This takes place after "Love in the Time of Dragons," with Alice and all that drama.

Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin. I can barely manage to hold down the shift button whilst typing sometimes—do you really think I could accomplish something like Merlin? Yeah, me neither.

Title:
His Imagination

Fic:

"So, Merlin, how are things between you and Gaius?" Arthur asked his manservant at breakfast one morning after Alice's escape from the city. They'd had no luck in finding her, obviously, and, though Uther didn't make the proclamation official, Arthur had moreorless told his knights not to bother after a day or two. She wasn't going to be found.

Even though Alice had not been executed, Arthur was still... worried about Gaius and Merlin's relationship. He had mentioned they'd had a falling out, a row, before Merlin had turned her in for magic, but now that he had? Arthur was bit worried that their relationship might not be recovered. And, knowing how much Gaius meant to Merlin, Arthur didn't want to see something like that happen. No matter how unlikely it seemed.

"I mean, I know that you turned his girlfriend in for practicing sorcery, but he must understand that you had no choice?" he added quickly, spearing one of his sausages and biting into it to stop the nervous mess coming out of his mouth.

The truth was, Arthur just wanted to know what was going on in Merlin's personal life. He wanted him to come to him when he was having a bad day, he wanted him to come to him with his fears and worries, he just wanted Merlin to talk about things without being goaded or threatened into it. And what better way to start that sort of regular dialogue between them than by using the situation at hand as a sort of catalyst?

Of course, he couldn't very well just come out and say something like that, so him mucking his way through Merlin-esque questions would have to do until he could figure out how one was supposed to go about such a thing.

A good king would need to know how to stay in touch with his people, after all.

Merlin bit his lip, his face almost betraying amusement as he refilled Arthur's goblet. After he sat the pitcher back down, he stood with his hands behind his back.

"She wasn't his girlfriend," he began, twisting his head to the side in an unreadable manner. "She was his ex-fiancée."

"'Ex'?" Arthur asked, gesturing for Merlin to take the seat across from him. He obeyed before continuing, leaning forward slightly as he spoke.

"Back when Gaius first started working for your father as the court physician, they were engaged to be married." His eyes were widened in mischief, almost as though he had been dying to talk about what he knew with someone. Like a child, Arthur mused, who had overheard something they weren't supposed to and couldn't wait to tell their friends, and anyone else who would listen, about it.

"So what happened?" Arthur asked, setting his food down for the moment. He had never thought of Gaius as the type to be romantically involved with, well, anyone. He was just... Gaius. The court physician, who had known him since he was born, who was more like family than almost anyone else he knew.

But he had never married. Had never even been involved with anyone in all the time Arthur had known him.

So what was all this about him being engaged?

"The Great Purge," Merlin said simply, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Alice was on the list of those suspected of practicing magic and she was to be executed. She fled Camelot just before she could be arrested, though. This was the first time they had seen each other in twenty years," he gave Arthur a sad smile before he looked down at the wooden table he was resting on. There was nothing interesting in that wood, Arthur knew, no answers, no miracles to be found—he had looked for answers in it far too many times himself to know that piece of bittersweet truth.

"It's not your fault, Merlin," Arthur said quickly, ignoring the laws that ran though his head, the ones that said Merlin and Gaius had, technically, broken the law in several different ways by allowing Alice to stay with them. Arthur could probably get Merlin pardoned on the basis of ignorance, but Gaius would be another matter if he took the issue to his father.

Which he would not do.

Merlin looked up at Arthur, at the hand that had come to rest atop his own with the Prince's outburst. "I know I didn't have a choice, but I wouldn't blame Gaius if he kicked me out and never spoke to me again." He admitted, his tone one that could almost break Arthur's heart.

Arthur scowled at the thought, his gaze soft nonetheless. Of course Gaius would never do a thing like that! And even if he did, Arthur would always have a place in the castle for him. Always.

"You were just following the law, you were doing what was right for my father's life and—"

"Oh no," Merlin interrupted, eyes wide. "I didn't—I mean, I know it's the law, but I didn't turn Alice in for Uther. Not at all," he shook his head, and Arthur could tell he was being... sincere. Confused, Arthur took a drink of his water and then slid the goblet over to Merlin to take a sip before going on; his voice had taken on a rough edge, his words just as dry as his throat probably was.

"Then why—"

"Because it... You were going to blame Gaius," he said in a whisper, closing his eyes to hide the pain Arthur saw in their blue depths. His breath hitched and he swallowed, trying to deny to himself the truth in Merlin's words.

But he was right, of course; before Merlin had mentioned Alice's name, Gaius had been, unfortunately, the only person of interest. As much as it pained him to admit.

"And Gaius... he's all I've got here in Camelot. My mother is in Ealdor, Will, who was like a brother to me, is dead, Gwaine is banished, Lancelot is off proving himself—who do I have here except for Gaius?" he let his eyes come open, shining with moisture Arthur pretended not to see. "And... I-I had to be selfish, Arthur, I couldn't let anything happen to him—not when I knew he hadn't done anything," Merlin shook his head vehemently, the corners of his mouth turning down ever so slightly.

Arthur bit his lip, chewing over his words. It was true, of course; Merlin was not from Camelot, and though he had made a life for himself there, he had no family, few friends, the life of a servant and apprentice—Gaius was the most important person to him there. Like a father almost.

Even so, that did not mean he was alone, that he had no one else.

"Merlin," Arthur sighed not a moment later. "You know... you've always got me, right?" he asked, his heart skipping a beat when Merlin's eyes took him in curiously, his cheeks taking on a light blush. "And—And Guinevere and Morgana?" he added quickly, trying not to be elated yet disappointed when Merlin's face fell at the additions to the sentiment.

"Of course," Merlin smiled tightly. "But to you lot, I'm just... just another servant. Easily replaceable." He said in a self-loathing manner that Arthur thought was completely unbecoming of the boy.

Arthur pursed his lips, squeezed the hand beneath his slightly. "You are not replaceable, Merlin. Sure, you're a rotten servant sometimes, you've got no respect for the crown, you're lazy, you slack off, you're a complete moron sometimes, such a smart-ass—"

"Isn't there supposed to be a 'but'?"

"But you're... one-of-a-kind. No one could ever replace you, Merlin. That much I promise you," he told him, a warm half-smile gracing his face.

Merlin chuckled in response. "So why are you always threatening to replace me then? Have me sacked and stuck in the stocks for a few good weeks and all that?" he challenged, eyebrow poised viciously.

"To keep you on your toes!" Arthur exclaimed back. "If you knew I would never fire or replace you, you might get lazy. Well, lazier." he grinned.

"Mm, wouldn't want that." Merlin grinned back.

"'Course not," Arthur agreed, his smile just as lingering as Merlin's was.

Arthur picked up his fork once again, chewing over his thoughts and Merlin's comments along with some of his breakfast for a few minute. He left his hand on Merlin's still, even though it proved to make eating just a touch difficult. He couldn't cut his food well enough with just one hand, but if he had to tear it apart with his canines like a wild animal to feel Merlin's skin on his own for a short time, then so be it. He didn't mind. Not at all.

"Merlin," Arthur said again, setting his fork back down against the plate, realizing that he had never quite answered his question.

"Hmm?" Merlin asked, his wandering eyes coming back to meet Arthur's.

"Is Gaius still mad at you?" he asked with concern.

"He was never mad at me," Merlin admitted. "But... he should be—I would be. If he had turned in someone I loved for something like that, someone I hadn't seen in a long time, I... I would be so furious. I don't know that I'd ever speak to him again..." he shook his head, suddenly unable to look Arthur in the eye.

With the quiet of the room, Arthur wondered for a moment if Merlin had ever been in love, if there was some lucky girl out there who had once known his soft touches, his lingering kisses—if someone had ever known all the love Merlin ever had to spare and more.

Arthur wondered for just a moment if Merlin was missing someone; if he would rather be anywhere else than at Arthur's side.

And he didn't know how he would react if he would.

He cast his eyes down and pushed his plate away with a heavy heart, then. Suddenly, he didn't have much of an appetite.

He took his hand from off Merlin's, looked at him with a vulnerability that he had masked within the second, and cleared his throat.

"Right, well—good talk, huh?" his lips tugged into the makings of an awkward smile before they fell once again, and he stood from the table after he took a final sip from his warming goblet. He chanced a last look at Merlin just before he started listing off the things he needed done for the day, and he almost could have sworn that he caught a look of longing mixed with sadness and something resembling love in his eyes.

But, it was probably just his imagination.

Fin.