(A/N): Okay... so... this is... well, yeah. I really wanted to right a little intro to it; to explain why the hell Kurt is chatting with Puck, but... never really happened. It's better on its own. So, I already said it; it's Puck and Kurt chatting online. And... yeah. That's it. Plot? What plot? *looks around* Read, review, ENJOY! =D
Disclaimer: (Completely and utterly stealing this disclaimer. Full credit goes to Appleinn4, who created it. It was too amazing not to use).
I don't own Glee.
But you know what I do own?
YOUR MOM!
Get it?
Dissclaimer?
Puckzilla: Did you see last night's Deadliest Catch?
CellophaneDolphin: As surprising as it sounds, I did!
Puckzilla: woa I wuz ttlly kidding… u watch tht show?
CellophaneDolphin: I do. Why, do I not seem many enough to watch that show?
Puckzilla: no offnse dude, but… no
CellophaneDolphin: Well, you're partially right. I actually watched it with my dad for 'bonding time'.
Puckzilla: nd how did tht end up?
CellophaneDolphin: Badly. As to be expected. Anyway… why are you talking to me? Not to be rude or anything…
Puckzilla: lol its kool. im actually only tlkin to u cuz im bored.
CellophaneDolphin: Sorry to inform you, but I'm not that entertaining.
Puckzilla: idk, ur prtty funny… lookin!
CellophaneDolphin: *Facepalm* Well, if you'll be so kind as to excuse me, I have to go and take a shower…
Puckzilla: NO! DONT LEAVE ME! IM BORED!
Puckzilla: KURT?
Puckzilla: Damn. im bored.
Puckzilla: what 2 do…
Puckzilla: TITS! HUGE TITS!
Puckzilla: VAGINA! BOOBS! umm… OTHER GRLY PARTS!
Puckzilla: CAPSLOCK ABUSE!
CellophaneDolphin: Wow, I get back from my shower, look at my computer, and now I feel like barfing! Thank you, Noah!
Puckzilla: anetime prncess. woah… ur back! yay!
CellophaneDolphin: I feel the love… *sigh*
Puckzilla: did u have fun? u were gone 4eva
CellophaneDolphin: I had tons of fun. I met the gnome that lives in my shower drain.
Puckzilla: did u drop kick him?
CellophaneDolphin: Of course not! I'm more civil than that. He gave me a Canolli, and asked me to very kindly put my hair elsewhere!
Puckzilla: wow. duz he have lttle gnome babies?
CellophaneDolphin: Yeah. I've been feeding them little soap chips for years; didn't even know!
Puckzilla: wow thts amzing. r there other gnomes in pplz drains? is there like a gnome-2-gnome network?
CellophaneDolphin: There was. It got shut down, though; Facebook claimed that it was copyrighted.
Puckzilla: deprssing, dude. do they have gnome relief services?
CellophaneDolphin: Nope. They're considered a third world country; they're at war with the elves.
Puckzilla: ooohhhh tht sux. if gnomes live in shower drains… where do the elves live?
CellophaneDolphin: In your cookie jar.
Puckzilla: but… i dont have a cookie jar O.e
CellophaneDolphin: Twinkie jar, then?
Puckzilla: nope. but we do have this empty tub thing. thats prbly where they are
CellophaneDolphin: Ahhh… offer them a mint leaf! It lures them right out!
Puckzilla: are the gnomes edibl?
CellophaneDolphin: *rolls eyes* I don't know. Haven't tried yet. Anyway, if you catch them, put them in a jar, and shake, they spit sparks out of their butt!
Puckzilla: coluful sparks?
CellophaneDolphin: Definitely. Rainbows and 4th of July and all of that good stuff.
Puckzilla: hehe… perty!
CellophaneDolphin: Very. They light up my room at night. It's wonderful for meditation and skin care!
Puckzilla: i bet; tht shits pretty amazingful!
CellophaneDolphin: It really is. Also, you can shake them in a sequential order, and they'll go off like strobe lights!
Puckzilla: wudnt that be… idk… painful or somthn?
CellophaneDolphin: Not at all! They're made of rubbery mushrooms!
Puckzilla: like… shrooms? those things r BEAST.
CellophaneDolphin: So I've heard. And, really, again with the capslock abuse?
Puckzilla: Yuuuuup. ITS SOOPER FUN!
CellophaneDolphin: I'm sure. Listen, I've got to go to bed; otherwise, I'll have huge bags under my eyes tomorrow!
Puckzilla: so… ur goin to bed… mind if i join?
CellophaneDolphin: Goodnight, Noah.
Puckzilla: nite, prncess
(A/N): Magical, right? This was literally a text convo that I had with my friend. She didn't know that I considered it writing gold. I'm Kurt, she's Puck. Of course I changed a few things, but it's pretty much the same thing. Anyway... pretty magical, right? Yup.
Reviews also feed the gnome in my shower drain... and I do reply to them all (contrary to what I have been doing recently... =D)