Oblivion-Call me parody man. and now I'm horrified by my friend's parody of "KH 358/2 days" I'm sorry Random but I'm making my own. Please under stand. So now here is one master piece of .

Disclaimer-I'll say this once, and once only. I do not own kingdom hearts, anything else that will be used. Got it memorized? :P

Kingdom Hearts, 358/2 days. My way.

Prologue and chapter 1

"Pitiful Heartless. Mindlessly collecting hearts." To sum it up in a few words, 13 people are sitting on chairs at extremely unsafe heights in a room cover in white paint and wearing long black robes. Zippers added. "The rage of the keyblade, releases those hearts." The random man continues to talk gibberish until he says 2 words. "Kingdom Hearts. Only then can we finally exist."

"hmm?" One small boy in one chair said. "You say something?"

"DAMN IT ROXAS!!!" The person in the cloak exclaimed. Leaning out of his chair. "IF YOU WERN'T OVER THERE YOU WOULD BE DEAD FOR...AHHHHHHHHHHH!" The man in his chair fell out of his chair.

"Sigh. I'll get the plaster for the cast."

Roxas and some guy with insanely ridiculous hair thats dyed red. They are sitting on top a clock tower which was again,an unsafe height.

"Hey Roxas?" the red head asks.

"Axel, for the last time, I don't go that way!" Roxas replied

"Not that! I was going to ask do you really have a heart?"

"I don't know! And I'm pretty sure that I would know if I had a heart or not!" Roxas stood up. "And I'm not going to stick around and find out!" Roxas left but tripped over the side of the clock tower. "NOT AGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIINNNNN!!!!!!!!!"

"ROXAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSS!!!!!" Axel cried for this happening.

Day 255- Why the sun sets red. Why not blue?

Our depressing friend Roxas was sitting on a clock tower in the middle of a town. When red head Axel came around the corner. "Your early." he said as he sat next to Roxas.

"No, your just late." after a few minutes they get ice cream out of no where. After a few minutes of that...this happened. "Today makes 255 day of my life wasted doing nothing but crap."

"What you talking about boy?" Axel asked.

"It's been that many days since I joined the organization."

"And the point of remembering that issssss?"

"I dunno. Only thing worth remembering. Don't know who I truly am. Don't you remember?"

"Hey Roxas, bet you don't know why the sun sets red." Axel says. "Light is made of many colors. And the color that travels farthest is red!"

"Like I asked smart ass!" Roxas threw his ice cream at Axel.

"I dare you to do that again...."

"Whatever!" Roxas turned his head the over to the entrance of the tower. "Man, where is she?"

Axel fell asleep from boredom.

'You gotta figure'

'everything starts somewhere'

'like ice cream starts from milk'

'like veggies start from seeds'

'Or like baby's start from...well, you get the point'

'The closest thing for me'

'was when I was seven days old'

'And I met her'

Day 7- Number XIV. And pie.

The camera zooms in on a huge castle and into the bed room of Roxas. Who was taking a nap. Then wakes up and gets out of bed. Roxas wondered around into a room. In there was a man with hair that looked like he had a flaming spike ball on his head, some dude with navy blue hair and it was insanely long, a blondie chick sitting on a couch, and on old dude sitting on another couch.

"Heeeey Roxas!" the red head stared at him creepy like.

"..............................." Roxas was dead quiet with a depressing look on his face.

"Chatter box, what do you need?" Axel asked.

"............" still no words.

"Oh yeaaaaaah! We're supposed to go to the round room today! Blegh, meetings..."

"first of all, never again imitate the kool-aid man! Second, What the (beep) is the round room!?" finally says something.

"Its a round room, where we have meetings! Anyway the boss got some news that no one cares about.

So lets go!" Roxas walks over to blue boy. "Okay! In a few minutes, I get it!"

"Today theres an important meeting, don't go." Saix said.

"Ok." Roxas responded.

"Unless you want to die."

"....I'll be there then!" Roxas backed away slowly and walked over to the old guy. "Sup gramps?"

"I an not your grandpa!" Xigbar said as he got up. "oh! My back!" he fell to the ground. Roxas shrugged it off. Then went over to blondie chick.

"eww!" She said. "Your awake!?"

"eww! Your alive!? Oh, BURN!" Roxas walked back over to Axel. "Alright, lets leave. These pricks are annoying me."

"Onward!"Axel grabbed Roxas by the shirt and left.

Everyone was (again) sitting on top of chairs to high to feel anywhere near safe. One of them spoke.

"Good day friends." he said. "today is a good day...another has been chosen to wear or coats. Not like we need one though." Once he said that a person also wearing a black robe walks in the center of the room. "behold one of the keyblades chosen ones. Number XIV."

"Will there be pie?" The person in the center of the room asks.

"No, no there will not," Xemnas said.

"Why not?"

"Good point. SAIX!!!! GO GET SOME PIE!!!"

"Yes sir." Saix left in a ball of purple and black stuff. After he left everyone said "mmmm, pie..." Roxas looked at the center of the room and starred at her. Why? Lets just say he was NOT looking at her face.

'my memories where worse then a broken record player'

'I have no idea why I was hanging around these crazy people'

Roxas' diary, day 7

dear person inside book,

Saix told me to write this, but said no one would check it. so why write one?

But damn, theres this new member and she has a nice rack, if you know what I'm talking about...maybe she's slutty enough to go on a date with me and sleep with me on the first one...........now I'm glad that no one checks this. You'll keep this secret, right diary? Person in the book?

day 8- the icing on the cake, And and salt on my eggs.

Roxas was able to remember where to go to the room where Saix was just standing in and walked up to him. "Roxas, your work begins today." Saix said. "I will tell you what to do, and you will do it."

"Why?" Roxas asks.

"Because I said so."

"Ok."

"these are like pansy missions so no stress."

"Ok."

"Are you just gonna say one word at a time to me?"

"yes."

"Axel will be joining you."

"Don't do that!" Axel walks over.

"Really?!" Axel asks.

"Yes, really."Saix says "Show him the basic crap. And do restrain yourself from doing horrible things to him."

"Won't ask." Roxas says.

"Let him know when your ready to go. Got it memorized?" Axel sat down. After that Roxas noticed the new person.

"Hi! I'm Roxas!" He says to her. "Whats your name?!"

"..." she says nothing.

"Ok dot dot dot, lets be friends!" He held out his hand. She just stood there. He toke back his hand. "Fine! Don't be my friend, see if I care!" He ran away crying,

"Freak." Dot dot dot said to herself. Roxas cried on a couch next to a silver toned haired dude reading a book. After 30 minutes of tears, he snapped.

"STOP WITH THE (BEEP)ING CRYING ALREADY!!!" Zexion says he grabbed Roxas and sent him flying with one of his spells into Saix, and he was no happy camper.

"Get to work...NOW!!!!" Saix says. Out of fear, he left grabbing Axel into the portal thingy.

After a scene of parts of town that no one could give less of a crap about,Axel and Roxas enter through the portal of fear into a random part of town. Roxas was the first to come out.

"Why are you in such a hurry?" Axel asks

"Gasp...anywhere...gasp...is better...gasp...then being where crazy blue boy is!" Roxas literally ran in terror from the castle or plaice...or whatever you want to call it.

"True,any way, this is twilight town! Where its never night nor morn!"

"Yeah yeah." Roxas regained his breath. "lets start this, ummm, what are we doing?"

"You know, a mission! Its like ummm, uhhh, welll..." theres an awkward silence (+1 gay baby)

"....."Both still dead quiet.

"Who the hell is playing this music?!" Roxas asks.

"You learn to ignore it later. But, lets not stand around and talk, lets get into action!"

"Fine." Axel starts to unzip his robe "What the fuck are you doing!?"

"Oh, yes yes!" He re-zipped his robe "Fight action! Lets go!" Axel jumps up some platforms. "Come up here." Roxas grabbed a ledge and climbed up.

"How was that?" Roxas asks

"Horrible, got it memorized?"Axel says

"Ummm, ok?"

"Don't think all you have to do in a mission is run and jump like Mario."

"Damn."

"You have to BE AWARE!!!!!"

"Ok."

"Remember to look around. Got it memorized?"

"Ok."

"No questions?"

"Ok."

"Is that an 'I get it' ok, or an 'leave me alone' ok?"

"Ok."

"Go find a treasure chest."

"Ok."

"Was that an-"

"An 'I get it' ok." Roxas wonder around for 5 minutes until he finds some lines in front of a door. What is that?!" he asks.

"Oh, thats a barricade, you can't go that way so ignore it."

"Alright." another five minutes later. "Found it!"

"Good for you, now I expect you want a cookie." Axel replied.

"Please?" Roxas made a puppy dog face.

"No cookie for you, your prize is inside the chest. Now open it."

"..."

"sigh, Roxas, hat do you do when you see a chest?"

"I look at it," Roxas starts. "Say, 'hey a chest!' and walk away......Hey a chest!" Roxas turns to leave.

"You OPEN a treasure chest Roxas."

"Oh...Really?!"

"Yeah, kinda!"

"Ok, I'll open the chest." Roxas stands in front of the treasure chest and kicks it wide open. "THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE HIGHLANDER CHEST!!!!!" Roxas turns to Axel. "How was that!?"

"Perfect..." Axel says sarcastically.

"I know, I know...I'm awesome." Roxas responded seriously. He grabbed the item. Random round music went off in the back round. "I hate this back round music."

"You find it kinda catchy." Axel replies. "Time to RTC!"

"You on crack Axel?"

"No! I am not on any drugs! RTC stands for return to castle!"

"Great, why not return to command? It sounds much cooler."

"We have to go back to where we came!" Axel says ignoring Roxas. "Got it memorized?"

"Ok, that is starting too irritate me."

"Move out!" Axel left.

"Wait for meeeee!" Roxas followed. After 30 second they found the portal.

"Alright, mission accomplished." Axel says

"Great! I'm out." Roxas starts to walk into the portal thing.

"You know, you don't have to go, would stick around awhile longer."

"One more reason I want to leave, go to my room, and listen to depressing music I got by threatening the artist's by gun point."

"Lets get the icing on the cake."

"Like the salt on my eggs?"

"Yeah, whatever. Come on." Axel starts walking. "You remember the hang out right?"

"Eh, so-so."

Roxas and Axel where (Again!) sitting on top the clock tower. Just sitting. Until Axel takes out ice cream.

"Here ya go." Axel says. The icing on-"

"ICE CREEEEEEEEEAAMM!!!" Roxas grabbed it and ate it in one bite.

"On the cake..." Axel threw his Popsicle over the side. "I'm not hungry."

"I know what you mean, that sea salt ice cream is filling."

"Don't eat it in one bite again. Got it memorized?"

"Whatever." they stare at the sun set for few moments. Before they leave.

'The organization was filled with asshole's'

'Also a lot of perverts, and gays'

'If you asked me what was my job...'

'I would say "None of your damn business!"'

Roxas' Diary entry, day 8.

Dear Dave,

I thought Diary sounded girly, so I'm calling you Dave. Alright Dave? Good.

Anyway, what happened today? Ummm, Axel tried to do it with me, he flirted with and tried to rape me. I met the new girl (Still think she's hot, but cruel.) , this guy sent me flying into another guy, and I learned how to open a treasure chest. Today was "GREAT!"

Oblivion- and thats all for now, R&R please, thank you. Every review you send, will bring us one step closer to get Roxas free cookies, Please! Think about the hungry one...(puppy dog eyes)

Roxas-(dieing from hunger.)