X.X.X.X
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, the characters and the games belong to Square Enix and Disney and the song You Would Have Loved This belongs to Tarja Turunen.
Title: You Would Have Loved This
Authoress: Tysonkaiexperiment
Couplings: LeSo and others.
Warnings: Mentions of a LOT of random things, character deaths, angst, etc etc etc.
Summary: LeSo drabble to You Would Have Loved This by Tarja Turunen. After dating Squall for three years this would be Sora's first Christmas without him while he was away at war.
Dedication: To any fan who has someone fighting the war, may they have a peaceful and joyous Christmas!
Song Title: You Would Have Loved This
Artist: Tarja Turunen
Album: Henkäys ikuisuudesta (2006)
X.X.X.X
You Would Have Loved This
X.X.X.X
The winter left her blanket here this morning,
A soft and gentle coverlet of white.
Unfolded in the shadows of the dawn,
It sparkled in the early morning light.
"It's too dangerous." They had told him, "As the next coming prince you'll be in too much danger."
And so his lover kissed him goodbye as the king readied the gummi ship with allies from each world by his side. Donald and Goofy would stay to protect Sora without his lover, and even though he had Riku and Kairi he found comfort in their presence. Though it could never comfort him in the way Squall was holding him at that moment and whispering sweet nothings in his ear would.
"I love you." The taller brunet muttered, grip tight as he laid down his feelings the way he'd always done with Sora, "Never forget that."
"I won't." Sora agreed, eyes soft with tears and lips being bitten to avoid hugging his lover to keep him here. He saved the worlds twice, gained new and old friends while being tested in hard times, was soon to be upcoming direct descendant to the king, surely he could do a better job than this. But he could still feel the tears falling down his cheeks even when Squall leaned down to press his lips against his, and he could feel Squall's lips trace up to remove them but they still continued to fall. "I'll miss you, write me?"
"Of course." Squall had stood straight for a moment to sent him a tender half-smile, his eyes were glistening, obviously better at holding in his emotions rather than the soon-to-be prince. "Only if you write me back."
He couldn't help it, Sora smiled and nodded and allowed himself to be held by Squall for just a few more minutes. The warmth would be there for a long time to come, just so long as he could have this moment with Squall.
"I left your present under the tree, open it Christmas morning if I'm not back yet." The brunet tilted his head back so Sora could see his whole face. He was smiling, tears falling down his cheeks and it just made Squall look so different and yet he looked exactly the same. "If I'm not, tell me what I got."
Sora gave a watery laugh, accepting those last few kisses before humming, "In detail." He muttered just as they heard the voice for the king.
"They'll be back." Kairi whispered next to him, attempting a sad but bittersweet smile as she watched her own girlfriend, Yuffie, board the ship with a frantic wave to everyone.
Sora couldn't say anything as Squall, from his place just outside the gummi ship door several feet away, gave one last wave. Riku seemed to recognize the look as Squall disappeared, he clutched his best friend by the shoulder and gave a warm hug, "After this we'll go make popcorn balls for the carolers."
"And eat Squall's half." Kairi added jokingly, smiling tenderly when she saw the smile slowly slid to Sora's face.
You would have loved this,
You would have loved this,
This was your favorite time of day.
Christmas, he had come to find out in the three years of dating him, was Squall's favorite holiday. It was the only holiday that could get him to smile, the only one that could have a movie that would make him shed tears, the only holiday to allow him the joy of cooking when he usually hated it. None of which he would admit of course, but it was still things that Sora loved to remember about his lover while he waited.
He could still remember how Squall smiled as they walked by kids playing in the snow or when they went to the school plays of the kids. Or how Squall and he would watch movies and neither of them could waste any less than one tissue box no matter how many times they watched the exact same ones. And when Sora, more cook than Squall would ever be, taught him how to make ginger-bread men, his face lit up at the crappy decoration job he did, even if Sora couldn't tell the difference between an eye and a nose.
And he cuddled under the blanket on the couch and watched the un-covered tree in their living room. It stood in the corner, towering over everything they had and challenged the view behind the couch of the window and falling snow. His eyes remained locked on it though, never once looking back, he feared if he looked out the window he could see Squall struggling through the snow on whatever world he was on. And then he'd possibly fall and Sora would be scared and he'd feel alone, so he just stopped looking outside whenever possible.
He'd made sure to bring out all the presents that day, their wrappers shinning in the lights, even with the Christmas tree bare they still sparkled underneath it. He had managed to find all the ones Squall had hid, he'd have to let his lover know the house was not Sora-proof anymore, and just the thought of Squall looking both annoyed and determined to find a new hiding spot within the house made him smile.
For just a moment he could imagine himself laying on the couch as he was now and Squall would come in from the kitchen and hand him his mug of hot chocolate as he sat up. And then the older brunet would walk over and treat the fire in their currently-empty fireplace before he'd join Sora on the couch and blow on his own mug of hot coca. And all would be content in the world and Sora would be at peace when he closed his eyes.
But when he opened them the cold settled in, there was no coca, no fire, and definitely no lover to help him decorate the tree after all that. Instead he sat up, looked down to his palms, placed his face into his hands, and cried the first night Squall was gone.
The greenery is laid across the mantle,
And ornaments are hanging on the tree.
And cradled in the windowsill is a candle,
A beacon in the night,
to call you back to me.
A week later and Kairi had decided they needed to spend time together as the best friend trio to get their mind off their fighting loved ones. They set up a sleepover in Sora and Squall's place and had invited the local orphans to spend a weekend with them. Now the kids had arrived, the father and sister running the orphanage thanked them and prayed for their loved ones before they began to instruct the children on how the weekend was planned.
Kairi had attached herself to a few kids already, teaching them how to make hot coca with marshmallows while Riku taught kids Christmas carols. Sora was setting up the toy tree they brought with the children, it was a little different to do a tree without Squall, but Sora remembered four years ago he had done it by himself and he supplied himself with the courage to do it again.
By the end of the night they were roasting chestnuts on the fire, and once they'd cooked enough to fit in a large bowl they turned on the television and watched a re-run of Charlie Brown's Christmas Special. The kids were overjoyed, Kairi was just as excited while Riku looked a little bored, the father and sister had fallen asleep some time ago trusting them, and Sora was more focused on staring at the chestnut sitting in his hands, waiting to be eaten.
But then there was a tugging on the sleeve of his sweater and he looked down to a small child. She was rather young and small compared to the others with a mop of flowing dark brown hair and warm hazel eyes to match. Instead of speaking she grabbed Sora by the hand, stood up with him and dragged him behind the couch to the hallway between the front door and the living room. Without speaking she pointed to the long candle on the large windowsill and looked up to Sora curiously.
"Why is it lit?" The girl nodded and Sora graced her with a smile, "It's a light to bring me someone back home." The girl looked even more curious, tapping the windowsill lightly before Sora got her message, "Why is it here?" Warm hazel eyes sparkled at the correct question before Sora gave a shuttering sigh. He pointed out into the forest hidden behind the window, "My important person went away in this direction, I hope that when he returns the candle will be easy to see and guide him to me."
For just a moment it seemed like the girl knew what he was talking about, the small hand tightly clutched his and her eyes glistened, "Keep it lit." She whispered, cheeks rosy as she looked near-tears.
Tears were already sliding down Sora's cheeks, he looked back to the candle, giving off it's red glow thanks to the tinted-red covering, "I promised I would."
You would have loved this,
You always loved this,
I know you loved this time of year.
It was just two weeks later that the disaster struck, Kairi had appeared on his doorstep, her beautiful red hair a tangled mess and pretty purple eyes running with mascara. He rushed her and what she held inside before he made her some herbal tea. She wasn't dressed for winter, a silk button-down top and a pair of sweatpants, when he looked outside Sora could see an almost blizzard-like rush of air and snow.
He had returned to sit in front of her, setting the tea on the table between them before he took her hands over the top of the package she was carrying on her lap. She hadn't stopped shaking, tears creating light black rivers down her cheeks and she looked so lost it broke Sora's heart. "Kairi?"
She unfolded the package and there, knitted onto the fabric was Yuffie's symbol and her name, and lying above that was an envelope with the words 'We Regret To Inform You...'.
"Oh, Kairi..." She had collapsed in his arms, crying her eyes out as Sora held her and rocked her to quietness.
"You, haven't gotten one?" Kairi had whispered, sitting up and accepting the tissues from him.
"No." He had admitted somewhat joyously, he couldn't help but be content he hadn't, even if Kairi had.
"I'm glad." She had smiled somewhat, she was glad for him, but he was more worried about her. Instead of crying again she looked around the room, "Christmas is next week and you still haven't decorated." There was a moment before she gave him a light smile and an amused look, as if she was trying to take her mind off of it, "Squall would demand the lights be up already."
Sora hadn't said anything then, just watched her pick up a box of nearby ornaments and begin to settle them on the tree. For a moment he just watched her craft, something beautiful to be cherished, before he folded up the package and set it on the dinning room table to keep it away as he helped her. This, at least, was a way to get her back to normal.
"Do you mind if I spend Christmas with you?" She asked softly, glancing at him with eyes puffy red, "I mean, if Squall hasn't come back, I can easily go to Riku's—."
"It's fine." Sora smiled back softly, they shared a best friend moment then, one Sora was glad he could still manage from her, "You're always welcome, Kai."
She nodded as thanks, plucking a silver-green ball from the box and paused for a moment before she placed it on the tree. Kairi had picked up another to do the same thing, but Sora could only focus on that one ball. He'd bought that one, different from the other silver with it's off-green, the same color of Squall's eyes. Squall hadn't even noticed it the first time around, Sora had pulled him to a mirror and dangled it next to his face before he even realized it.
"It's pretty." The redhead muttered, obviously seeing which one he was staring at, "It's faint but the green is still there, it really does look like his eyes."
Sora smiled slowly, cheeks a light red before he accepted a ball from Kairi and placed it slowly towards the top of the tree.
And though I understand,
One day again I'll see you.
I long to touch your hand,
hear your voice, feel you.
It was Christmas Eve when they were all settled in for merriment. Kairi and Riku were playing a card game while Tidus and Wakka were having a competition on who could roast and eat the most chestnuts and Selphie was interested in on the romantic Santa story on television. Sora was busy finishing putting away the food from the dinner when the doorbell rang.
He had opened it only to find a cold-covered girl looking for use of a telephone. Without even thinking he ushered her in, introduced the child to the group, then pointed her towards the phone. The phone call hadn't even lasted two minutes before the child hung up with an accept from the other line. Her warm hazel eyes slid over Sora before he even registered who it was. "You were the girl from the orphanage."
She nodded politely, eyes blinking slowly for a moment before they settled to the flame in the corner, "You kept it lit." Her voice quivered, like she was surprised.
"I promised." He muttered, eyes settling on the candle fondly.
For a moment she just nodded then turned, "It's ones like you that makes these things horrible." Was all she said as she looked out the window.
"Makes what horrible?" Sora had asked but she merely shook her head and said she was going. He blinked but allowed her on her way with a light shut of the door. None of his friends had even looked up to the conversation.
Riku and Kairi had finished their game before they joined him and asked where the child was. Before he could respond the doorbell rang and he opened it softly in surprise. There, against the light fall of snow and street light-filled roads stood two men. One behind the other, arms folded behind him with little emotion on his face. The other had saluted him before handing him a thin box.
Kairi's had come in a somewhat different box but he understood just the same. He reached for it numbly, nodding his head when both men bowed to him before leaving. Sora collapsed to his knees and Riku was clutching his shoulders in an instant while Kairi was running her fingers through his hair and muttered words of false comfort.
It had taken him less than a second to unwrap it, the fabric a pitch black with a silver emblem of Griever on it. In the folds were Squall's barely visible first name and below Griever was Leonhart in a deep red flag.
Sora merely clutched it to his chest and sobbed as he realized what the child meant.
You would have loved this,
You always loved this,
Oh, how you loved.
X.X.X.X
Angst anyone? Yeah, sorry for this, I mean, it's SO not great for Christmas but I NEEDED to write it. Every good pairing has angst, and LeSo was in DESPERATE need of it. This is probably one of my favorite songs by Tarja, and considerably I felt the need to do it.
Even though it's depressing I really like how it turned out, it was short, simple, to the point, and yet I felt a lot of emotion when I wrote. For those that DON'T know me well, the child, well, that was me. Haha... Yeah, I have dark brown hair and hazel eyes, I couldn't think of anyone to add and I didn't want to add other KH characters since this is after KH2 so I kinda just popped myself in there. Also, for those that haven't played Final Fantasy 8, Griever is the lion's head necklace that Squall always wears, a perfect symbol for him, no?
While writing this I played the track non-stop and it seemed like every time I wrote I began to cry. Seriously, and not the 'oh, I'm crying?' kind, the kind where I couldn't type one letter without tears running down my face.
I thoroughly enjoyed writing this and I hope you'll give me feedback (even if it IS to yell at me for writing something depressing!) and I hope you guys liked it too, even if it is sad.
But most of all I'd like to thank Tarja for writing the song for her mom, it's these kind of deep-meaning songs that give me tons of inspiration.