For the first time… I felt his warm breath against my nape… For the first time… He cuddled me with his warm body… For the first time in our hidden relationship… He stayed behind after we made love.
I relished the comfortable silence between us. But I know,better than anyone else, that something has been bothering him. Otherwise, those occasional sighs from him would mean nothing.
"Fuuto, what's wrong..?" I wanted to ask. And yet, there's something inside me, stopping me to do so.
I'm afraid. Afraid of what his answers will be. Just like the tons of questions in my head. Afraid that I'm not ready for his answers.
"What am I to you?" "What is the status of this relationship?"
Everything remained unspoken. I'm too scared, too afraid that what he'll say are not what I'm expecting.
And so I remained there, unmoving, waiting for him.
I felt him stroke my bare stomach lightly, his breathing getting heavier. And when his lips brushed against my shoulder, I couldn't help but shiver.
We have touched each other too many times, and yet, I still can't get used to it. I always get flustered whenever we kissed, whenever our bodies meet. He would often make fun of it, but still I couldn't help but get butterflies in my stomach.
After all, him touching me, him kissing me, felt like he really loves me.
"Do you love me?"
I can only hope so.
"You were amazing at the festival earlier." I remarked, breaking the silence.
"Am I really?" he scoffs. "I didn't even see you there."
When will he ever notice?
"I was there. Right in front of the stage, in fact."
He pulled me to lie on my back as he hovered on top of me.
"I knew you were. The yukata looks good on you."
I smiled. Fuuto is the kind of person who doesn't usually give compliments after all. I smiled even though, I wasn't even wearing one.
"Glad you liked it." I ran my finger on his perfect lips. Until when should I be a martyr? Until when should I be blind? Here I am, loving this guy, giving all of myself to him, and yet…
I blinked away all my negative thoughts. What was it he said before?
"All you have to do is trust me."
That's right, i'll do just that. I have to trust him if I love him.
My hands continue to trace his features. From his lips to his neck and down to his chest. He just smirked with my advances. This is, after all, the first time that I am the one making the first move.
Because I realized that I want him to notice me. For real.
He let out a soft groan when my hands reached his chiseled body. But knowing him, a man full of pride, he won't like the idea of him losing to my touch.
And just like I predicted, he grabbed my hand as he hissed before burying his face on the crook of my neck.
He started creating circles on my throat with his tongue,carefully searching for my weak spot. And I have to gather all of my strength just to stop myself from moaning. I can feel him smirk against my skin as he noticed that I'm holding back.
Really, this guy…
His hand started to move as well, teasing, caressing my left chest. His moves were gentle, smooth and easy. And every time he pulls away makes me want more of him.
"Say you want me."
My face flushed at his command. How can he say that like its just a normal thing? I shook my head in refusal which made him lift an eyebrow at me.
"Hou~ so you're not gonna say it? I'll make you."
His lips pecked mine before it made its way to my nipple. He popped one in his mouth, biting it softly, rolling it with his tongue. And his hand that was busy with her globe earlier is already at her inner thigh, leaving feather touches as it traveled upward.
A gasp escaped my lips when I felt his hand at my core. He started teasing me with his touches, his hand so skillful you'll think he has been doing this since forever. I can feel myself getting wetter with his ministrations. It felt so good to be true and yet, it doesn't seem enough.
"Fuuto~"
I just want him inside me, to fill me with himself, to feel good with him, to enjoy this moment together.
My hips started to move on their own as they bucked against his fingers. I can feel my body shivering with the sensation of his pumps. My pants became faster like his thrusts. Just a little bit more and...
He stopped.
The little tease stopped and smirked at me instead. And I was so close! I groaned at the pain and frustration. He leaned closer to my ear and purred, his hardness rubbing against my thigh.
"Still not gonna say it?"
So he's still after that?! My gods. This guy will be the death of me.
"Does that still matter?" I breathed out. "I.. I want you Fuuto..." I must've look funny. Disheveled, obviously aroused and frustrated.
He chuckled softly as he nibbled my ear. I felt the tip of his manhood against my wet folds, barely touching me, leaving me wanting for more.
"Fuuto~~"
I inhaled sharply as he work himself inside me. His warmth filling me, and just like a jigsaw puzzle, completing the emptiness I felt.
He remained still for awhile as we both catch our breath, his face buried just above my shoulder. As much as I want to see his face whenever we do this, he just won't let me.
After a while, his hips starts to move, thrusting his hard shaft in and almost out. Both of our bodies began to sweat as we moved in perfect sync, dancing in a tune only the two of us can hear. His pants were answered by my moans, engulfing the silence of that room.
I have always been yearning for him. And I've become more and more addicted. To his voice, to his presence, to his kisses and caresses. He made me fall to the point that I can no longer live without him.
Another moan came from me as his thrusts became harder and faster. I resisted the urge to rake my nails on his back, not wanting to ruin his precious skin. He's an idol after all. But I couldn't help on grabbing his shoulders tightly when he hit a sensitive spot of mine. I can feel the pleasure starting to build up in my womb and I knew it was the same for him. His breathing hitched as he moved on a steady pace. There were times that he would slow down, only to pump deeper and harder than ever. I meet his every thrust, knowing it will just take a few more moments before...
"Ai..shiteru...Ema..." He whispered lowly but enough for me to hear. That was when everything around me vanished. The world seemed to stop, even time itself. I never knew it'll feel this way when he calls out.
Ema..
Ema..
His whisper continued to echo on my head. My mind went blank, I felt a sting right through my heart.
Why does it feel this way?
Shouldn't I feel the other way since he already confessed what he really felt?
Isn't this what I wanted? To know what he really feels?
Everything around me doesn't seem to matter anymore. I could've forgotten that he was still on top of me if only I didn't felt him release his cum inside me. And as much as I wanted not to, I, myself came right after. My juices flowing out as tears starts to escape from my eyes.
I have fallen so deeply, only to find myself unable to live without him.
Until when should I be a martyr? Until when should I be blind? Why do I still love him this much, even if he called out a name that isn't mine?