"I don't get it," Randy sighed, "why doesn't Sharona like me"
"You don't get it?"
Randy looked up at the captain. He shook his head.
"Randy you pick on her a lot, you're rude to her and you have no patience when you talk to her"
"I thought that was the way a guy tells a girl that he likes her"
"In 3rd grade maybe," Stottlemyer chuckled, "in the adult world that's not how they do it"
"How do they do it then?"
"They go up to the girl and tell her how they feel"
"What if the girl doesn't like them back?"
"If the girl doesn't like him back he hasn't lost out on anything. He's back where he started"
"I guess maybe you're right?"
"I know I'm right. Here comes Sharona right now"
Randy walked up to Sharona.
"Sharona can I talk with you for a minute"
"WHAT!"
"Look I know that you're angry with me but there's something that you need to understand. I like you Sharona, I really do"
"You have a funny way of showing it," Sharona snapped.
"I know," Randy sighed, "but I thought that was how a guy was supposed to tell a girl he likes her"
"What are we in kindergarten? Oh you have a lot to learn"
"I know," he said, "tell you what… why don't you teach me?"
"Me?"
"Yes. I think I can learn a lot from you"
"You probably could," Sharona said with a chuckle
"So?"
"Well okay," Sharona said snapping down, "but pay attention cause I ain't gonna tell ya twice"
"O—kay," Randy said slowly, "I'm listening. You have my full attention"
"Lesson #1," Sharona began, "never say DAMN-IT and the name of the girl you like in the same sentence"
Randy laughed.
"Lesson #2 arresting a girl is not the way to get her to like you"
Randy began to protest but Sharona held up her hand.
"Lesson #3 don't interrupt. It's rude"
Randy couldn't wait to find out what lesson #5 was