40 Shades of Zoë

Lyre: I need to be in a straight jacket. This is obviously a take on 50 Shades of Grey. I've never written smut before, so please understand.

Summary: Everyone knew Levi was the strongest man alive. Everyone knew Hanji was a scientist and Levi's subordinate - by day. Hanji was no servant to anyone. She was the king of the night and Levi was her whipping boy.

Genre: Romance / Humor / Smut / Parody

Prologue - Hanji Me Timbers

Stone walls kept the bedchamber cold to the point where you can see the fog of your own breath. Not even the brightly lit torches could warm up the frigid winter-kissed air. A room this cold shouldn't be a place to sleep nor should it be a place to be sprawled across a bed shirtless with hands tightly secured to the headboard with steel handcuffs, legs tied to the other end of the bed, gagged and blindfolded with your favorite, white cravats. But in this case, it's just a part of another kinky bedtime foreplay with Hanji. You would think that Levi wouldn't be the one who's Hanji's "test subject". Sadly, like everyone else, you're far from the truth - horribly wrong, even.

"Mph."

Muffled sounds came out of Levi's gagged mouth. The handcuffs were a bit too tight, chaffing his wrist. In addition to that, he was shivering from the frigid air (keep in mind, the man's half naked). Responding from discomfort, he began to struggle. He knew it maybe too late to think about it, but he was THE strongest human: he was the hope for humanity, the Lance Corporal, a proud soldier. Yet he was nothing but a boy-toy to his science-bound assistant (and secret girlfriend) - who by the way was younger than him by a good, several years. Oh, the irony.

"Hey! Levi-Baby stop squirming!"

Familiar footsteps of black stilettos tapped closer towards the bed. It was - obviously - none other than Hanji still wearing her signature glasses yet draped in her new monochrome (all black) lingerie set that was more or likely hand-made. It came complete with a basque that conformed nicely to her natural form and the cold room does the great job of making her nipples perk through. Along with that, it was attached to lace stockings with a small tear from an accidental mishap with the sewing machine, and (coughs and wheezes loudly) a very revealing T-Back thong hiding nothing but the front finally dropping the Maraschino cherry on top of the lascivious smoothie. At this point, she's basically left little to no room for any imagination. Nevertheless, Levi was blindfolded so he had no idea what the new goods looked like.

"Mph!"

Levi began to demand in incomprehensible jibberish and continued to struggle.

"Mpph! Mpphhh!"

"Jesus Christ, Levi, we've been doin' it like this for a million, billion times and you're still like this..."

Hanji crossed her arms in confused frustration. She knew Levi in and out personally, professionally, and sexually - emphasis on "sexual". The woman knew damn well that her Lance Corporal Bon-Bon was the submissive type in bed. Yeah, bondage, BDSM, dominatrix and everything. They've done rough - I mean ROUGH things during sexy time. So it was always surprising when Levi showed any resistance.

"Don't worry, Baby, I'm gonna be nice to you tonight."

"Hhh?"

"Yes I'll take it easy on you. I'm not in the mood for any heavy fucking tonight."

She cooed silently as she placed herself right on top of the shorter man, who in turn gave a soft groan. This was a satisfying thing for the woman. Hanji took a liking to the sounds the world's strongest human made whenever he submitted to her ways. In case you've never noticed at this point, she had a fetish for dominating the dominant.

Hanji shifted her position a bit, still making eye contact with him.

"I'm gonna give you a little treat for being such a good boy."

Biting her lip, she crawled down until her face met Levi's pants which had a bulging tent hidden by the layer of clothing and underwear. Hanji lets her left hand feel him as she traced light kisses with her lips. Levi replied with a loud groan, twitching and raising his hips upwards.

"Mpphhh!"

He was silenced by Hanji's right hand squeezing his cheeks.

"Don't make me change my mind."

Her gaze became a brooding glare as her hand sped faster and pressed down on his length. This made Levi twitch and struggle more as he groaned even louder at each stroke of her hand.

"You like that, don't you?"

"Mpphhh..."

He violently shook his head, thrashed some more and moaned louder. Hanji knew he lied as she replied without stopping the rhythm of vigorous strokes.

Levi had hit his breaking point.

"MPPPHHH!"

The man's loud holler was muffled as his head cocked back and hips flinched upwards. A pool of clear liquid seeped through his pants and drench the palm of Hanji's hand. His heart beated like a metronome set to the maximum speed. Large beads of sweat glazed his entire body. That sexual musk floated in the room. His body went limp and motionless.

"... Levi... Did... Did you just cum in your pants?"

"..."

"Hello? I asked you a question."

"..."

No response. At that very second, despite the awkwardly current situation, Levi was actually thinking up a storm of very Philosophical questions about this whole mess:

How did he become Hanji Zoe's sex doll?

What the hell was he thinking about when he agreed to become said sex doll?

When was the first time they even had sex?

What events led up to it?

Why did he do it in the first place?

Why didn't it come to him that maybe being Hanji's sex toy wasn't such a good idea?

Why is he still doing it?

And most importantly, how come humanity's strongest, the Lance Corporal, the soldier amongst all soldiers managed to jizz all over his motherfucking pants?

The last question is a tricky one - that I honestly can't answer - but the "when did they first have sex" question can be explained.

As a quick intro to the anecdote of their relationship, allow me to make a very brief recap. Their relationship actually - believe it or not - started quite normal. In fact, their initial relationship was completely professional: no chains, whips, gags, blindfolds, corsets, cuffs, sex, not even kissing. It was simple, Levi was the boss and Hanji wasn't. Their personal relationship emerged not too long after that and... Well... You know what I mean.

In all reality, don't you think that the more appropriate question should've been "When was the first time he had sex with her AND became her midget manservant?"

Because he actually signed the contract the instant he popped her cherry.

Lyre: Code of Hammurabi what's wrong with me? This is just a prologue to establish the general scenario... Whatever.

Reviews are like Banana Stickers: Much Appreciated

Hope you liked it so far.