Heart-Broken
They were silent as they drove home. Each was enveloped in his or her own thoughts. Normally going home at the end of a long, tense day or case would be a welcome joy. Diana was going home to see her daughter and call Marco. Those she loved were waiting for her. But for Tom going home would only remind him how much he had just lost. His home, without his son, had been incomplete for awhile but tonight he was going home to a completely empty house. Alana was gone.
Diana turned and glanced at Tom while trying to gauge his emotional state. "I'm so sorry, Tom." There was no blame in her voice. There was no bitter reminder that Alana had brought this upon herself and upon them all.
Tom could hear the concern and compassion in his partner's voice. He turned to her and gave her a quick smile to reassure her. Diana was anything but reassured. She had known Tom for going on three years now and there was anguish in those eyes of his. He wasn't fooling her.
Tom turned his attention back out the passenger seat window and gazed into the darkness. The darkness was good for hiding. "Thank you for what you did, Diana. I'm sorry to have dragged you into this whole mess."
Diana sighed internally. Yes they had been dragged into a big mess-one that Ryland wouldn't soon be forgetting. And yet she felt that they had done what was right-mostly. There was no justice in letting Gary go and yet there was no justice in letting Ryland kill him and/or torture him. She wished things were like they were when she was little-black and white, right and wrong-none of these ugly shades of gray. Still, she thought, would have done it all over again. "I'm your partner and your friend, Tom."
Tom turned his attention away from the darkness and back to Diana. She could see he was fighting back a wave of emotion. He understood her because he felt the same way. He understood what she was telling him. You are not alone. I did this for you and I would do it all over again to help you.
"Diana, I..." But Tom didn't have the words to say what he felt in his heart. It was too full to express all that was there. His loss of Alana-his touchstone-in this entire mess was heart wrenching. His gratitude to Diana knew no bounds.
Diana said quietly as she stared into the blackness of night lit only by the car's headlights, "There's no need to say anything."
Both settled into that comfortable silence where both knew what the other was thinking and feeling.
When they finally pulled up to Tom's house it looked so deserted and lonely it hit Diana right in her heart. "Tom, you are more than welcome to spend the night on my couch."
Tom unbuckled his seatbelt, shook his head no, and leaned over to kiss Diana on the cheek. "Thanks for the offer, but I think I'd make poor company right now. Say "hello" to Maia for me."
Diana nodded as she tried to smile reassuringly.
"Goodnight," said Tom. "I'll see you in the morning."
Diana reached out and grasped his arm before he left. Tom turned back to face her. "Don't give up hope, Tom. We'll find a way to bring her back."
Tom smiled. This time it was a full smile that reached his eyes. "I'm counting on it."
With that final sentence Tom left the comfort of his friend and walked up the stairs and into his home. Diana watched him safely inside before heading to her apartment. She had no idea how they could ever bring Alana back safely but they had to find a way.