Part 1: Wrong Enterprise

Doctor Leonard McCoy stared at the transporter pad for a full minute before he felt he could react to the situation. A federation shuttle with one unknown passenger alone in deep space had sent out a distress signal for specifically the U.S.S Enterprise. The fact that the Enterprise had been the only ship anywhere close had been a massive coincidence. The woman was now curled into a shivering ball on the transporter pad, her light chocolate hair fell loosely covering her face.

"Hello?" He approached her slowly, poor little mite seemed pretty traumatised.

"Teddy?" A small but relieved voice came from the shivering form; grey stormy eyes appeared through loose hair desperately searching McCoy's face.

"Err...no darlin', I'm Doctor McCoy. You're on the Star ship Enterprise, we answered your distress call. Do you remember?" Bones tried to keep his voice calm. The woman uncurled herself so her legs were straight in front of her looking extremely puzzled at the doctor, also showing off a massive round bump where her stomach should be.

"You pregnant sweetheart?" McCoy started scanning the woman from when she sat staring at up him.

"If this is a joke, it isn't very funny teddy." She was scowling at him now.

"A joke?" McCoy raised his eyebrows, "Sweetheart, are you pregnant or not?"

"Of course I'm pregnant," She practically spat at him, though her eyes betrayed her true emotions. The girl was terrified. "You know that."

McCoy raised his arms defensively; eyebrows raised and stepped away from the crazy woman on his star ship, distracting himself with his tri-corder.

"Well these say you're all dandy love," McCoy shrugged after a few moments of the woman staring at him angrily from the floor, "At least physically. Mentally however we may need to run some more tests."

"I don't understand." She stood now, reaching out a hand for McCoy to take, he gave it to her after a couple of seconds thought "It's me... Lyra? I literally had breakfast with you this morning. Pancakes and maple syrup."

Captain James T. Kirk chose this moment to appear in the transporter room.

"What's the situation Bones?" His eyes scanned over the curvy pregnant woman in his transporter room, she was pretty, heavily pregnant and glaring at McCoy like she was trying to make him implode.

"Oh thank god would you please tell teddy that...oh" Lyra turned towards the captain and faltering once she laid eyes on him.

"Captain Jim Kirk. Welcome to my ship" Jim beamed at her in all of his charming captain glory. Lyra's jaw dropped.

"Sorry Doctor." Lyra turned back to McCoy after staring at Jim in silence for a good minute, "I must be terribly sick after my experience on the shuttle. Please could I be taken to sick bay?" "Err... Sure" McCoy raising his eyebrows at Jim before signalling the pregnant woman towards the doors leaving a very confused captain in their wake.

"I'll take her to sickbay Jim, she's human, pregnant and I'm sure what being alone on the shuttle has done to her mental state..."

"Send up a report when you can Bones" Jim touched McCoy's arm as he walked past, McCoy nodded.

McCoy tried to ignore that it was Lyra who led him to the Enterprise's sickbay rather than him leading her.

...

Jim's communicator chirped bringing him out of his current daydream. Like most of Jim's daydreams it involved food. Hot fudge sundae with waffles. Not replicated.

"Kirk here."

"Captain, we need you on the bridge, we're being hailed." The lieutenant's voice was sharper than usual, Jim scrambled to sit up off the sofa he had been laying on.

"By who?" Jim had been sure everything surrounding the shuttle had been dead space, Lyra's distress call couldn't have been answered by anyone else this quickly.

Silence.

"Uhura?"

"It's us captain, scanners show we're being hailed by the U.S.S Enterprise. According to scanners the ships are almost identical."

Jim ran to the bridge.

...

The scar was from the centre of his right eyebrow across his eye and nose and finishing in the centre of his left cheek. It was faded pink, obviously an old injury, and not to wide either just long. This other self was older maybe early thirties, hair was longer but just as neat and cropped. Same golden uniform, same deep blue eyes and same brilliant smile.

"I am seriously hot." Jim breathed, his other self chuckled, smiling widely. He had slumped into the captain's chair after answering the hail and his face appearing on the screen. His face. It was him but not him. The bridge crew seemed divided between shock and thinking their captain was playing a trick on them.

"I was just thinking the same thing." His other self winked at him then seemed to tear himself away from being equally distracted by his younger self, "don't suppose you've picked up any highly pregnant troublesome and fairly angry strays?"

Jim grinned at himself...his other self, god this was confusing.

"Bones?" He asked tapping his communicator. McCoy didn't bother to reply, just stepped out the turbo lift half a second later with their new passenger.

"You." Other Jim visibly flinched at Lyra's voice, smile vanishing from his face instantly.

"Lyra..."

"Have you any idea how stupid you are?" Her tone was biting.

"Welllll-" Other Jim started to answer shrugging his shoulders before he was interrupted again.

"Can't use the transporter because I'm pregnant? What rubbish was that! Oh yes because transporting through dimensions or whatever-this-is should be perfectly healthy!" Lyra was ranting, eyes blazing, now watching the other Jim try to shrink himself smaller and smaller into his captain's chair.

"Actually Mrs-"

"Not now Mr Spock!" Lyra cut him off so the bridge crew of the enterprise only saw a quick flash of their first officer's doppelganger appear onscreen.

"Ly. I know you're pissed but come on! I mean there is no way we could've seen this coming-"

"Captain Kirk. Are you going to beam me aboard or not?" Lyra's tone was icy cold.

"Are you sure you won't consider-"

"James!"

"Ok, ok fine we'll do it your way." Other Jim visibly deflated in his chair from his slightly huddled position; a blue sleeve snaked out and patted him on the shoulder. Lyra glanced about the bridge she was on; the bridge crew and captain were now all doing excellent impressions of fish. Besides Commander Spock of course.

"Can Bones at least transport over and give you a check-up first?" Other Jim was desperately trying to keep some kind of authority in his tone.

"Jam-"

"Please." Other Jim cut her off before she could continue. All his big blue puppy eyes gone and the serious expression on his face meant he simply wasn't going to be argued with. Lyra groaned. She hated that face.

"The Doctor McCoy on this Enterprise has already checked me out." Lyra attempted to counter but her voice lacked energy. She was starting to look extremely tired.

"Mrs Kirk, I would highly recommend that our Doctor McCoy, with his knowledge of your medical history, complete a medical examination before allowing you to use the transporter beam" Alternate Spock was once again on screen. He looked almost identical to normal Spock though maybe a little older.

Jim that was currently sitting in the captain's chair a few feet from where Lyra stood inhaled a sharp breath, knuckles white against the sides of the chair. He was married. Married to the crazy pregnant lady. Well sure HE wasn't married, other him was married. But still. Married.

"I may faint."

"Big baby." Bones grunted unable to keep the laughter out of his eyes.

Other Jim now had a look of 'Ha even the Vulcan agrees with me now try and argue' that he shot straight at his wife.

"Ok, ok fine" Lyra rolled her eyes, sighing softly "Send teddy over and then please beam me home."

Other Jim grinned, Lyra considered that he may have planned this from the beginning with that cheeky-ass grin on his face, and cut off the call.

"Cheeky bastard, why I ever married that cocky little-" Lyra mumbled storming past the Enterprise bridge crew and into the turbo lift.