A/N: Okay… I was watching Dead Man's Chest for the second time the other day when suddenly I had this brilliant idea. I thought that I could write a little story about Jack's hat! So here it is… and it will be written from Jack… sorry… Captain Jack Sparrow's point of view so be aware of misspellings, grammatical errors, and whatnot. And don't worry… there are no Dead Man's Chest spoilers… actually I would prefer it if you didn't think about the events of the newest addition while reading this.

Disclaimer: I don't own Pirates of the Caribbean…

Jack's Hat: A Story for the Ages

Well hello there… what, may I ask, is the reason for this unexpected party? You have a question? Alright… shoot away. You want to know about me hat? Well… that is a rather long… and boring tale… most likely not to interest the likes of you. Ah well… you've won me over. Please grab a bottle of me finest rum… no not that bottle… that be the one I was drinking… and have a seat. Hope ye don't mind the mess… blasted parrot like to go all over the place! If it wasn't poor Cotton's only way of talking I would've shot the damn bird already. Now… keep yer mouth shut and listen to what Captain Jack has to say. One more sip of rum for me… to help the remembering!

I expect that you would think I got this hat off some poor old bloke who met old Dave by the pointy edge of my sword. And I would have to laugh at you and you would end up with my spit and rum all over your face. I got this hat from a very unlikely place… can you guess? Never mind don't guess… it would take too bloody long. I got this hat from an actual shop. And not just any shop… but a very fancy, pricey, and respectable store… not exactly where you would picture me eh? Ah yes… I remember that day so very well. I had just turned the shining age of eighteen and was happy to be out of my home. You see… I always had this dream to become a pirate but me father never approved. What's more… he was a pirate hunter. Anyway, I'm getting off track… you want to know about me hat not me father.

Well there I was… walking down this street that was filled with old blighters in wigs and women wearing beautiful dresses. I stuck out like a sore thumb with me dirty clothes and ragged appearance. So anyways, I was walking down this street when all of a sudden… I saw this beautiful thing. I didn't think that the heavenly father himself could create something so wonderful until that day. No it wasn't the hat you little sods… it was a bar! A bar filled with the most intoxicating rum in all of England. A lad soon to become a pirate couldn't have asked for a better place than this here bar. I swear, after that day I have never been able to turn down a good bottle of rum… and you can hold me to that. But that is another story in itself mates and I think we should save it for another day eh?

So I was walking down the street after this great discovery of rum, drunk as a dog of course, and I happened to pass by this hat shop. I looked in prepared to have a good laugh at the frilly little hats with their ribbons and bows but instead saw something much better. It wasn't on display in the window… oh no. I could only just see it in the back of the store… almost as if the man who made it was ashamed of his work. I hurried into the shop and walked over so I could get a better look at it. It was made of good leather and even though at the time it didn't quite look like a pirate's hat… I didn't quite look like a pirate yet meself either. So I picked it up and looked at it some more… and decided that it would be fit for old Blackbeard himself. I just knew that I had to have this particular hat. I knew that together… we could shape up and become worthy of the name pirate. Or in the hat's case, a pirate's hat. There was just one problem with this… I had no money. My wealthy father had disowned me once I left and I hadn't had the sense to grab any coins on the way out. So I looked around to see if anyone was looking at me, jammed the hat on me head, and ran as fast as I could out the door. It marked me first day as a pirate it did.

Well of course the shop keeper saw me run off with the hat and he was angry. I mean… I didn't think a guy could get so upset about me stealing a hat that was in the very back of the store anyways. I mean… it just doesn't make sense!

Well of course you think it was a bad thing to do… you don't have a lick of pirate in you. Ouch… please don't slap me again… I swear you looked just like a pirate when you hit me if it makes ye feel better. Ahem.

I heard the shop man yell for the bloody navy so I decided to head for the bridge. You see… this little town I was in was connected to another town through a bridge that passed right over this great big river. So I decided to make a run for the bridge. Of course I was still drunk as a dog, but that didn't stop me from making it to the bridge. Luckily my drunkenness got the better of me… when I reached the bridge I began to sway terribly. I tried to straighten out but my legs couldn't quite seem to do it. It's like having a pair of terrible sea legs. Anyway, finally I swayed so hard that I hit the railing of the bloody bridge and I fell right over it into the river. So the little men with their swords and their guns passed right over me and didn't even know it. I was just about to get out of the water again when I realized that the hat was still in the water. I could even see it floating down the river like a big bobbing… log or something. So I plunged into the water again and began to swim after it. The plus side of this is that I was immediately sober again.

I know what ye be thinking… what kind of a deranged lunatic would jump back in the freezing water to get a bloody hat back? Well that deranged lunatic would just happen to be me… I would do anything for that hat. Back to the story!

So there I was, making my way towards my beloved hat in. I was cutting through the water like a fish, all I could keep thinking was,

"I've got to get to that hat!" So that's exactly what I meant to do. I was just about an arms length of the hat when suddenly this giant… fish jumped up and hit the hat with his tail. I swear that fish had to have been about… ten feet long and was redder than blood itself. I wasn't scared in the least though, not even when I saw the razor sharp teeth gleaming at me from his mouth. I just swam up behind him and jumped on his back as if I was going to ride a horse. The fish of course, being a stupid animal, just flopped back down in the water and began to swim after me hat. I held on and was just able to keep me head out of the water.

The fish went faster and faster as it came closer to my hat. I could just see it… it was soaked all the way through and had all sorts of… dirt and such on it. We got ever closer and I realized that I didn't really have a plan. I decided that I would let go of the fish with one hand and stretch my now free hand towards my hat. It was in that single moment that I learned the meaning of opportune moment. If I tried to grab the hat too soon I would most likely miss but if I grabbed it too late the fish would swallow it up. Just when the fish was about to surface again I reached out my other hand as well and snatched the hat from the water. Just at that moment, the bloody fish jumped out of the water and I found myself to be air born. It didn't matter though, I had me hat and that was what I came for.

No… this was not a drunken dream I had, savvy? It is all true… and I wish you would stop rolling your eyes at me. You ungrateful sacks of meat wanted me to tell ye how I got me hat and I told you. Every detail is true, cross my heart and hope to die. Stick a sea urchin in my eye. Satisfied yet? Now let me finish this here tale up.

I was air born… flying high in the sky and all I could think about was the good fortune I had to get me hat back. I didn't even realize that I was about to hit the ground again until I actually did. Hurt like hell, I was limping for about a week, I've had worse since then. When I finally got back up the first thing I saw was the barrel of a gun. Once my eyesight cleared a bit I realized that I had been found by the shopkeepers lackeys. So I did the only thing that I could do. I ran like Davey Jones himself was after me.

Guns were being shot at me and I only just managed to dodge them all. Unfortunately me poor hat got hit with a few. Only one left a hole though… and I managed to patch it up decently. I'm getting ahead of myself here… wait… ah I got it. I was running like Davey Jones was after me but I realized once I got back to the river bank that it wouldn't work. There was angry red fish in there just waiting for me to dare to come back in the water. So I ran in the opposite direction of the bridge and made me way to where all rivers must empty. The ocean mates. Eventually I lost the bloody stupid men and was able to just walk in peace for a time.

And that's how I got me hat. Well you never asked how I became a pirate. Really it was all thanks to me hat really. Well if you really want to know then I suppose I should tell ye… though first you have to do something for me. That's right… go swab the decks and anything else that Gibbs asks you to, savvy? Hop to it now!

A/N: Well I rewrote it a few times and this how good I got it to be. Please tell me if you liked it… if you want me to continue or if I should leave it as a oneshot… anything! Thanks!