Nightmares
It had been another usual sleepless night(in a manner of speaking) for the Doctor. With all that he'd seen and especially all that he's done, sleep does not come easily. So he does what he always does to soothe his pain. He wanders the one thing that gives him peace, the one thing that'll never leave, his TARDIS. The control room, the pool, the halls, every last part of her is his home, where he belongs. This wondrous creature could've been locked away and neglected forever, and the Doctor thinks freeing her is perhaps the only thing he's ever done right. As he walks down the long halls, he is in tune with her, listening to every last noise she makes, every creak, every whirl, and he is briefly at peace. Yet as he strolls down, he hears something out of place to the right of him.
Sleepless, scared, painful little grunt, turning around and around on a be. The Doctor knows these sounds too well, and so enters the bedroom. There, he sees his latest companion, the enigmatic, charismatic, and, The Doctor begrudgingly admits, sexy Captain Jack Harkness. The man is a mystery to him. When he had first met Jack, he had thought him the usual Time Agent fare. Arrogant, selfish, and above all else, idiotic. The fact he was rouge did not help matters, and when he found out the whole mess was Jack's fault, he was furious. He had expected useless justifications and excuses, which he got. He also expected him to turn tail and run, but instead Jack willingly tried to sacrifice himself to stop a German bomb from striking the site. For once, The Doctor was getting through an adventure without no casualties, and he'd be damned if Jack ruined that. So he saved him and gave him passage on the ship.
Since then, Jack had proven to be an exemplary companion. Brave, suave, and able to think on his feet, Jack had saved his life more than once. Yet for all his bravado and innuendo, The Doctor can see a man plagued with guilt, a man who'd never let anyone in past the surface, and The Doctor realises the two are far too alike. His thoughts are broken as Jack finally awakes. As he gets up breathing heavily, he sees the Doctor above him, arms crossed. He gives a start.
"Gah! Geeze, Doc, I thought a man could get some privacy at night. You know, relatively speaking" he jokes with a shrug. The Doctor's expression does not change, and Jack gives a sigh. "You didn't hear that, did you? I'm sorry for wakin' ya, Doc. Just forget it, it's nothing." But the Doctor puts on his infamous "Don't you dare, idiot" look, and Jack can't help but love it.
"One," he says while putting up a finger, "you didn't wake me. You're not the only one to have a sleepless night. And two, I know how bad nightmares can be, Jack. They're rarely nothing, especially when you're part of my crew." Jack tries to say something, but The Doctor interrupts. "And yes, you are part of the crew. From the moment you put your life on the line for me, Rose, and all those innocents, you became a part of this crew. And the moment you became a part of this crew, you became my responsibility. I'm not leaving till you talk, Jack. So," he says, sitting on the bed with his trademark grin, "start talking."
Jack lets out another sigh. "Remember how I told you that the Time Agency took two years of the memories?"
"I'm not that old yet, Jack."
Jack grins as he eyes the Doctor. "Oh, I can tell. Anyway, even though I can't remember them, I can see glimpses, and I can still feel them. The fear, the pain, the...guilt. I did something bad, Doc, and I can't even remember what. See how stupid this is? I'm having nightmares of things I can't remember, of feelings."
"No, Jack, it's not," he tells him, shaking his head. "Listen, Jack, I'm going to do something incredible, a once in a lifetime thing. You better pay attention, because it's highly unlikely it'll happen again. I..." the Doctor pauses in mock drama" am gonna tell you about my past." Jack jokingly gasps, and The Doctor grins for a few seconds before sobering. "In my past regeneration, my eighth, I lost my memory for a time. I was lost for a while and when I slept, I experienced the same thing you did, Jack. Just glimpses and feelings. But can you imagine, Jack? Catching even a glimpse of a Dalek, and feeling that fear and seething hatred, and having no idea what it was, what it meant? It's horrible."
"I'm sorry. I didn't know."
"Oi!" the Doctor exclaims. "Don't apologise for nothing, Jack. Hate that."
"Sorry." He smirks. The Doctor gives him one in return, before continuing.
"Look, Jack, those kind of things are hard to handle alone. So how about you tell me about them, what you see and feel, and we can try piecing them together." And Jack smiles, a genuine smile.
"I'd like that. Wait!" he yells before the Doctor leaves. "You said you have restless nights too. So, I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours?"
"Don't expect it to come out of me easy."
Jack shrugs. "I like a challenge."
And the Doctor grins as he leaves, it staying plastered on his face as he continues wandering down the hall. Maybe, he thinks, just maybe he can do something else right.