Snip-Snip

By: Rogue-Slayer13

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of Potc, they belong to their respective creators.

Summary: A one shot about how Will became a eunuch.

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Jack stood at the helm, one arm draped lazily across the wheel of The Black Pearl. The seas were calm and the horizon was clear of any other ships. It was days like this that could make a pirate's life incredibly dull, but fortunately for Jack, he had the world's most entertaining love triangle aboard his ship.

"It's not polite to stare, mate."

Will turned his attention away from where Elizabeth and Norrington were talking further down on the deck.

"I wasn't staring." Will replied as he looked back at Elizabeth and Norrington. "What does she see in him anyways? He's hardly a pirate." Will gestured to Norrington sans manwig, who was trying to woo Elizabeth.

"Neither were you at one time." Jack said as he looked toward the pair on deck. "Besides, why settle for a slice when you can have the whole pie?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Will turned to give Jack a confused look.

"Face it, mate." Jack said as he came to stand next to Will. "You're not playing with a full deck and well, Norrington is." Jack placed a sympathetic hand on Will's shoulder.

"How many times do I have to tell you? I'm not a eunuch!" Will said angrily.

"I think the lady doth protest too much." Jack quoted with a smirk.

"I am as much of a man as you are."

Jack eyed Will with a raised eyebrow. "I doubt that." Jack commented. "You are what you are, mate, and unfortunately for you that means being a eunuch. Nothing wrong with that. Lovely singing voices you eunuchs have. One time in Paris, I came across this cabaret, eunuch, the whole lot of 'em. But that's a story for another time."

Will stood staring speechlessly at Jack, his anger temporarily overshadowed by his immense confusion. The two remained that way for quite a while, Jack steering the ship and Will contemplating the possible implications of Jack's revelation. Finally Jack broke the silence.

"So, did it hurt?"

"Did what hurt?" Will asked absentmindedly, still thinking about Jack's earlier statement.

"Y'know, snip-snip." Jack made a scissors motion with his hand.

Will's anger suddenly returned and he stormed at Jack.

"I am not a eunuch!" Will bellowed.

"No need to get all snippy about it, mate. Me own mother was a eunuch."

"How is that–" Will looked at Jack quizzically before letting out a sigh. "I'm not even going to ask."

"It's a rather interesting story involving pygmies and Portugal and – "

"Stop! I really don't want to know." Will interrupted.

Jack shrugged and gave Will a suit-yourself look before returning his attention to the wheel and his navigating duties.

"If I tell you something, do you swear you'll keep it just between us?" Will asked suddenly.

Jack grinned, but then quickly hid it as Will turned to look at him.

"Pirate's honor." Jack raised one hand as if he were taking an oath.

"You swear you won't tell a soul?" Will looked at Jack, not truly believing him. "You'll take it to the grave?"

"To the grave."

Will took a deep breath and let it out slowly before continuing.

"After I was rescued and brought to Port Royal by Norrington and his men, I was sent to be Mr. Brown's apprentice at the blacksmith shop."

"Go on." Jack said with a nod of encouragement.

"Well, looking back I realize how stupid it was, but I was young and it seemed like harmless fun at the time."

"What'd you do?"

"Mr. Brown had gone to make a delivery and had left me at the shop. I got bored and decided to snoop around a bit, and that's when I found the rum. I had a few drinks and got a bit tipsy, but I was still bored so I looked around for something to do." Will paused, but Jack urged him to continue. "Well, the only thing in the shop besides me and the blacksmith tools was the donkey . . ." Will trailed off and Jack's eyes got wide.

"You didn't . . . did ye?" Will nodded and looked down at his feet. "And that's how, y'know . . ." Jack made the scissor motion with his hand again.

"There was a terrible infection." Will said as Jack made a disgusted face. "You swear you'll keep this just between us?"

"I swear I won't tell a soul."

"Well, I better go and see how things are below deck." Will said as he turned and walked away.

Will was only gone a few moments before Elizabeth and Norrington came over.

"Did he tell you?" Elizabeth asked as she came to stand next to Jack.

"Jack nodded, but remained silent.

"Well, what did he say?" Norrington asked.

"Believe me, ya don't want to know."