Disclaimer: I do not own Glee
A/n: I'm touching on a really serious issue in this oneshot and I want people to realize how serious it is. I've never published something as serious and real as the subject matter in this fic and it is because I didn't want to write something without having respect for the topic whether it be rape, gay bashing, abuse, drug addiction, etc etc.
This is a very serious matter and I almost didn't post it but I eventually decided that it was respectful enough to be made public.
Blaine couldn't keep the dumb struck look from his face as he followed Garrett through the trees. The thought that this had been some trap and the jock was leading him to the rest of his friends for some of their favorite activities (most of them ended up with Blaine getting beaten up) had crossed his mind but he somehow found his feet continued to follow Garrett towards his parked truck.
It was Taft High School's end of summer party in the nature reserve and everyone was there. People were along the lake tossing each other in, laughing with their friends and some others were gathered around the large bonfires sipping on their drinks and reinstating their cliques after a too short summer. Blaine had gone along with some of the girls in his Latin club because well it was better than sitting home alone with his parents gone to Milan for three weeks. This had been his first summer after coming out and even though his parents said they were ok with it, their business trips had become more frequent as of late. After the Sadie Hawkins Dance, Blaine had taken to avoiding most social events of the school year but despite being out and proud he wanted to fit in. He wanted to be just like every other normal teenager so there he had stood, drink in hand, while looking at the fire as it danced in front him. He let himself get absorbed in the music that was playing on the radio. It was Brittney Spears' new song Womanizer and he had to resist singing at the top of his lungs like he did in the car or when he was alone.
He had stared at his closet almost wishing the clothes to fall out to him. He had always hated trying to find an outfit for these things. It was still hot and humid in Ohio so he would need something light to wear. Tan cargo shorts with the ends fringed and faded were close to the swim trunks he practically lived in during the summer so he had thrown those on before trying to decide on a shirt. He glared at the dress shirts that littered his closet, as they seemed to multiply every time his mom came home. Instead he searched his closet, pulling out two equally different but both flattering shirts. The blue tee with a white paint chipped bird was wrapped in one hand, blue had always been his color, and the white button down with sleeves that were rolled up in another. Ultimately the blue one won out and he threw the other shirt back into his closet. Tossing the tee on, he went to the mirror to take one final look. There was absolute nothing he could do with his hair, the curls just kind of flopped around his head and in a way he secretly liked how they swooped across his forehead like small black waves. Throwing on a pair of flip-flops he had been out the door without looking back.
"Hey," A voice said suddenly beside Blaine. The recognizable voice made Blaine jump back and tense. Garrett was only one of the many who had tormented Blaine all last year after he had come out and even before then too. He, along with the other jerks, had made it their mission to make Blaine's life a living hell in the hallways and Blaine was surprised he wasn't immediately surrounded by jocks that followed Garrett like he was an occult leader. But instead the jock was alone and looking much less menacing than their usual encounters.
Garrett was also the lacrosse captain and Blaine was practically head over heels in love with him.
From the way he had his blonde hair highlighted from being out in the sun on the fields all day and his stunning grey eyes, Blaine could never help it when his heart began to flutter rapidly against his chest whenever he saw him, even if it was after he had gotten rammed against the lockers.
"H…" Blaine cleared his throat, "Hi."
"Chill Anderson," Garrett said with a slight smirk at the obvious tension in Blaine's shorter stature. "I'm not gonna beat you up."
Blaine didn't exactly believe him but he relaxed a bit and Garrett sent him another one of those heart-breaking smiles that had Blaine staring at him with a rather stupid expression, his mind blank of anything clever or witty to say.
"Oh, ok," Blaine simply said. Way to go Blaine because that was totally something cool to say, Blaine berated himself as he stood awkwardly next to the lacrosse captain. But Garrett laughed, his hands sliding into his pockets as he stood besides Blaine looking into the fire. Blaine sent a sideways glance from the corner of his eye at the lacrosse player who had dropped his smile and was staring into the fire with a frown marring his handsome face, his expression troubled.
"I should," Blaine began fearing that maybe Garrett was going to start something.
"Can we talk," Garrett asked suddenly looking at him, his grey eyes intense.
So that was how Blaine had ended up climbing into Garrett's truck, the other teen doing the same. They sat there for a minute in silence, Garrett obviously not planning on speaking very soon. A minute turned to two and then three. They had made small talk as Garrett led Blaine to his truck but now they sat in a weird silence that made Blaine curious as to what could lead to this private moment between the two. Then Garrett spoke.
"That song you sang at the festival," He asked as if a question. "You wrote it?"
Blaine was mortified to feel himself blush and merely nodded. He didn't know Garrett had been there, or anybody he had known for that matter. It had been his first performance in front of people. Was that what the Garrett had wanted to talk to him about? Music?
"It was good," Garrett said nodding his hand tugging on a lose strand of hair at the base of his neck.
"Thanks," Blaine said folding his hands into his lap trying not to look too eager to hear the praise from Garrett of all people.
"I didn't know you played guitar," Garrett said with his eyebrows raised again in that adorable way that made Blaine's stomach flip.
"Yeah," Blaine nodded biting the corner of his lip. "And piano."
Did that make him sound conceited? Blaine wasn't sure so he didn't add any of the other instruments he could play. Up until the festival no one had known how musically interested he was in.
"Do you play…" Blaine asked wondering if that was really all Garrett wanted to talk about trying to ignore the slight disappointment he felt.
"No," Garrett said quickly with a laugh. "No, my mom tried to get me to play violin but it sucked. I was awful."
Blaine nodded looking away. He played the violin.
"So," Blaine sighed deciding to change the subject. It was weird having a conversation with Garrett like this. It was nice. Garrett stretched, his elbow going to rest against the window and his other arm on the seat. Blaine felt his stomach flip again as he just barely felt the blonde's fingertips against his hair. "You said you wanted to talk?"
They stayed silent for another couple of minutes, the only sounds filling the cab were their breathing and the soft squeaks as Garrett clutched the steering wheel, his fingers flexing around it. Garrett seemed to chew on his words in thought, his bottom lip in between his teeth.
"How," Garrett started and then stopped, a hard sigh leaving him. He was staring at the dash so Blaine couldn't see what he was thinking, his blonde fringe falling to cover his eyes. Then Garrett turned to him, a blank expression masking his face. "How did you know?"
Blaine blinked confused unsure of what he was really being asked. But Garrett stared at him expectantly, an almost raw look flashing across his normally tough face.
"Know what," Blaine asked shaking his head not understanding.
"You know," Garrett said looking away obviously uncomfortable with having to say it. Blaine frowned, his mouth opening and then closing still very confused.
"That I'm gay," Blaine guessed, his brow furrowing. The lacrosse player nodded, his stare returning to the steering wheel. Blaine shifted, his fingers going to play at some fringe on his shorts. This was the first time anyone had asked him anything so he wasn't sure how to respond. His parents had eventually seemed to accept his sexuality but they had rather not talk about it with him and everyone else had made their own opinions when all was said and done. He didn't really have to think on how to transition his own thoughts into words for someone else to understand.
"I guess I just kinda knew," Blaine said with a shrug. "I… I tried the whole girlfriend thing but I guess I just sort of knew."
Then a thought struck Blaine and his eyes widened, turning to Garrett who still refused to look at him.
"You," He began but Garrett looked back at him sharply.
"I don't know, ok," he snapped. Blaine stared at him ignoring the bite in Garrett's words and instead began to scramble his mind for something to say. He didn't have a mentor or anyone to talk to when he came out and he knew that was torture, not be sure what was right and what was wrong. But who was he to give Garrett advice. That had to be what the lacrosse player had wanted: guidance. But Blaine wasn't sure what to say.
"You know, it's ok to be gay, "Blaine said and then winced at his own lame unintentionally rhyming. Garrett chuckled giving Blaine a sideways glance and Blaine tried to hide the embarrassment.
"Is it," Garrett smiled with a raise of his eyebrow, his stance relaxing a bit. "We treat you like shit man."
Blaine just shrugged his hands going back into his lap as he stared out the window. The hateful words and physical attacks had hurt but Blaine had gotten over them eventually. It was Ohio after all and he understood the mindset of some people. But a part of Blaine had believed that if he were to judge like everyone had him then he wouldn't be any better than all the close minded people. In light of everything Blaine had actually thought he was lucky that it was merely the bullying and avoidance of people he used to be close to. He had parents that, albeit distant, loved him and he still had some friends that accepted him for who he was.
Blaine hadn't realized he had drifted off into his own muses and when Garrett's hand suddenly touched his arm Blaine jumped. He turned to see Garrett had inched closer to him, his face open and sincere.
"Listen, I'm sorry about what happened at the dance," He said softly. Blaine's pulse was racing as he stared down at the touch, Garrett's palm against the crook of his elbow.
"It's ok," Blaine said in a low whisper, trying to ignore the flashes of that night and focus on Garrett. That was the past and this was the present. Him, Blaine Anderson with a possibly gay Garrett LeBlanc in a truck having probably the first civil conversation they had ever had in their lives and he was apologizing!
"Can I ask you for a favor," Garrett asked leaning closer, his eyes searching Blaine's face for something.
"Anything," Blaine nodded. And then Garrett's lips were on his, the larger teenager cupping Blaine's face. Blaine's heart hammered against his chest but he didn't pull back and instead melted into the kiss unable to keep the smile from his face when Garrett eventually broke the kiss. They stared at one another in silence Garrett's grey eyes staring at Blaine in a piercing way that only made Blaine's pulse rise even higher.
His first kiss, ever. And it had been better than he could have ever imagined.
He looked over at Garrett watching the teenager process what had just happened. Blaine held his breath as he waited almost hoping for a smile; an acceptance. He said nothing just letting Garrett have his moment. Garrett raised his stormy grey eyes to look deep into Blaine and then he was back, kissing Blaine with much more urgency before, his breathing deep and shallow. Blaine jumped at the sudden force but went with it returning the kiss back as best he could. Garrett's hands found their way into Blaine's curls, his fist clenching them as the intensity of his kiss turned up a level. Blaine wasn't sure what to do exactly, this kiss was much more desperate and hungry than the last one but Garrett seemed to know fully well what he was doing. His hands traveled down along Blaine's chest, his rough palms coursing over Blaine's muscles. As Garrett slide his body closer, Blaine was arched in an awkward angle half bent back to make room for Garrett's larger frame and half raised as the seatbelt pressed into his back. His attempt to readjust was halted however by Garrett's solid hand on his hip holding him in place. The Ohio air was suddenly increasing in temperature and Blaine began to feel stifled by the powerful energy filling the truck. It was all starting to happen very suddenly.
Then Garrett bit down hard on Blaine's lip causing the singer to jerk his head in pain. But Garrett's hands came up to hold Blaine's head in place, his hands squeezing Blaine's face. His tongue jabbed into his mouth stifling any attempts to protest. This wasn't anything like the first kiss, Blaine realized. This one hurt.
Blaine didn't want this. This was nothing like he pictured. Garrett wasn't gentle like before. His lips weren't soft but rough and his obtrusive tongue stabbed into Blaine's mouth. Garrett's hand traveled down his neck to his chest until he had his hand setting just below Blaine's belly button, his thumb making vicious circles against Blaine's navel.
He couldn't breathe. He couldn't…
"Stop," Blaine gasped pulling his face to the side. Garrett ignored him, his mouth going to Blaine's neck. The brunette winced at the bite from Garrett and Blaine began to push Garrett away only for the blonde to fall back where he had left off. The hand tugging at his belt sent Blaine into a frantic frenzy. He wasn't ready for that. Not that. His voice went up an octave that would have made Blaine horrified to hear in other circumstances as he protested again. Garrett was almost fully on top of Blaine, his hips grinding against Blaine as he continued to bite and suck at the hollow of Blaine's neck.
"Garrett, get off," Blaine said pushing at Garrett harder. But Garrett didn't pay him any attention as his hand clawed through his curls. His buckled unlatched finally and Blaine shoved with all his might now but the lacrosse player didn't budge, his hand toying with the hem of his pants and boxers.
"Get off," Blaine shouted ripping his hand from underneath Garrett and punching him across the jaw. The jock fell back against the dash staring at Blaine in shock as if shook from a trance. For a moment Blaine almost regretted it when the sudden wounded look flashed the larger teen's face. Then a snarl uglied his once pristine face. Garrett lunged at Blaine with a new ferocity. With a growl he flipped Blaine onto his stomach, the seat belt pushing into his stomach, and pinned his hands above him. Blaine cried out in pain, the sound lost as the seat muffled it from anyone else hearing. Garrett pushed his full weight onto Blaine's struggling figure as he searched for something in the back off the truck.
Blaine's mind froze, his body only moving on instinct. Where had this all gone wrong? His face was wet with tears and a chest-rattling sob left him when he felt Garrett rip his arms behind him and wrapped his wrist together with the athletic tape he had found in his bag.
This couldn't be happening. This wasn't supposed to be like this at all.
Garrett pressed his arm across Blaine's neck, his hand gripping at Blaine's curls once again.
"You said anything," Garrett hissed into Blaine's ear with a fury that made Blaine tremble even more. The betrayal in his voice only seemed to make everything ten times worse. Garrett gave him a shake but Blaine had lost his voice. Garrett's full weight on top of him was knocking his breath away and he groaned. The blonde growled in frustration and simultaneously flipped Blaine onto his back, assaulting his mouth again. Blaine was swallowed into the surrealism of the moment, feeling Garrett's hands rip away at Blaine's clothes.
Blaine had walked home that night.
He had stayed hidden in his room, the lights off, for the last two days of the weekend. His lips hurt and the rest of hurts he took care of like he had any other beating. A sense of numbness washed over him when he took a shower.
And then of course school came. He wasn't sure he would have remembered if it weren't for the "Have a good first day" text from his mother. He had pulled himself to the campus and was surprised at how easy it was to just slip into the pseudo normalcy that told anyone who looked close enough that "nothing happened. Nothing at all." Blaine had expected the full withdrawn melodrama that happened in any other movie but he slid into his role of social outcast quite well. He said hi to people who he talked to and he participated in class. Everything would have been fine. He even walked by Garrett in the hallway. However, the butterflies in his stomach that always fluttered when he walked by the jock had died away.
"I didn't know you played guitar."
Blaine hadn't been able to look at his guitar the same way he used too. The weight felt wrong in his hands and no matter how many times he tried to tune it the sound was never right. After hours of trying he gave up.
His parents arrived home to their son adorn in faded bruises and that seemed to be the straw that broke the camel's back. They had assumed it was more of the "normal beatings" and decided it was unacceptable that this was happening so early in the school year. His transfer papers were filled out and he was emptying his locker and returning his books. He went to Dalton and became Blaine Warbler. A confident, talented, good student that was over all perfect in all the dark places that Blaine Anderson remained hidden after that night. Dalton had been a fresh start where no one knew anything about him. Anything. And Blaine kept it that way. No one would ever have to know. The one reason Blaine Anderson had transferred that no one would ever know. He knew he should have just told anyone, his parents or one of his few friends but he couldn't bring himself to admit it. The nightmares eventually stopped and he lost himself in the music that was his new persona. He had done all of this without telling a single person.
He almost slipped a bit when Kurt had come trying to spy in his adorable designer jacket and he had found out what was happening with the Dave guy. He didn't want to admit that the nightmares had returned after he had one fleeting thought he couldn't stop pass through his expression when Dave had pinned him up against the fence. They would leave again soon and he could go back to pretending like nothing happened.
A/n: I also understand that this incident happens a lot and there are still several people who don't tell anyone. I'm not going to tell you to go and talk to someone about it because I know it's not that easy and sometimes talking isn't for everyone. But I do want you to know that you aren't alone. There are people like you out there and don't let something like these control your life. The only person who can put your down, is no one, because no one else matters but you. I get it. Really I do. Talking isn't for everyone and sometimes you just have to sort through things on your own, like Blaine, without 8 people hovering over you.