Chapter One
The moment I first began to love her was not upon first sight. The first time I saw her I thought she was attractive, but much too young for her own age, never mind somebody like me. She seemed like a happy sort of girl, full of promise and eagerness to do well and I admired her attitude and pluckiness. The first time we spoke was nothing out of the ordinary.
"Hi there! We haven't been introduced yet. I'm Tonks."
"Tonks? Is that your actual name?" I said, wondering what kind of being would call their beautiful daughter such a blunt, dull name.
"Nope, but it's a lot better than my real name. Don't even think I'll tell you what it is," she quipped.
"Surprise me."
She raised her dark, delicate eyebrow and sighed.
"Nymphadora Tonks," she said, as though the name was a burden of a hundred bricks.
I thought it suited her. She was rather nymph like, with her small size but petite figure, even under her bottle-green travelling cloak, her dark twinkling eyes and her smile, a grin that made me feel strange. Like something good was coming. She was beginning to make me feel so very peculiar, and then I realised.
Never had I really experienced the feeling, I'd always told myself I should never get my hopes up, as no woman would ever deserve to be fantasised about by such a creature as I. But she made me feel…lustful. Her face was just youthful and bright and attractive.
The next time I saw her was at dinner that night. The friendly banter of our first encounter encouraged me to try and get to know her even more. I made a beeline to the chair next to her, and as she turned to face me I smiled the cheeky Marauder's smile we all perfected when we were in tight spots at Hogwarts. She smiled back, and I thought I'd mastered the perfect grin.
I pulled myself together by clearing my throat and tried to look casually interested.
"So," she smiled. "We meet again."
"So it seems," I replied as a steaming bowl of carrots were passed down the table to me. I passed them to her disgustedly. To my surprise, she grew on me even more.
"Eugh, no thanks. Carrots are vile."
"I agree totally, they should be banned from all tables until they find some sort of spell to stop them tasting like bitter soil."
"You have excellent taste. By the way, what's your name? I know you got mine earlier, but I never got yours."
She was right. The girl who had made such an impact on me and I felt like I'd known for days did not even know my name. It sobered my optimism a little.
"Ah yes, I believe you're right. I'm Remus."
"Oh!" she said loudly. "So you're the big bad werewolf Rufus Scrimgeour warned me about."
She knew. She knew I was a werewolf. Now I felt like a raging fire that had been completely extinguished with a few drops of water.
"I've always had a thing for bad boys," she winked, and then turned away to speak to Kingley on her left, grinning. I was shocked. So she knew she was sitting next to a beast like me, but didn't run, didn't seem disgusted but in fact seemed to flirt with me? Was I dreaming? Was this real?
We spoke comfortably for the rest of the evening. I found out she was in her earlier twenties, had just passed her Auror training and was a Hufflepuff when she was at Hogwarts. She liked sunny days, starry nights, unplanned adventures and the colour green. On her types of men she liked tall, rugged men. Her favourite food was veggie burgers from the Muggle takeaway near where she lived and she only has three known relatives that speak to her; her mother, her father, and her cousin Sirius.
After she and the rest of the Order had left, I went to sit with Sirius in the drawing room.
"Are you ready for the Weasely invasion tomorrow?" he joked.
"At least we won't have to endure anymore of your cooking, I hear Molly Weasley is an excellent cook. And I'm sure she'll take the memo me and Tonks intensely dislike the orange daggers others call carrots."
"Tonks eh? I didn't know you two were hitting it off so well! She's a feisty one she is. I was talking to her mother the other day on the Floo, seeing as she thought I was a mass murderer for the past decade and a bit, so I thought we deserved a catch up. She told me all sorts of stories about Tonks, most bad and all true!"
I shifted in my seat. Should I tell my closest friend my feelings, or would it be innapropriate. She was after all, his cousin's daughter.
"She's…pretty," I said before cringing at myself.
"Yep. She definitely is. Well I'm off to bed now, don't you be thinking rude things about my precious little cousin," he joked.
"I can't garuntee that," I joked back.
He emitted his bark-like laugh, then left the room.
Alone, I began to wonder about her, and think about myself. I had known her only hours, yet she was making me feel so strange. She was everything that attracted me, right down to her shocking pink hair. I wondered what she was doing now. I honestly thought - what was the one thing I would want to do at that very moment?
It was just to sit with her. Be with her. Get to know her like a husband knows a wife, a best friend knows their other companion. But then I realised. A woman like her would never, ever want a man like me. So poor, so condemning, so morally wrong. She was small and smiling and beautiful and I was tall and shabby and plain. I sat back and looked at the rain splashing on the grubby window, and I couldn't help but think to myself that if humans were rain, I would be drizzle and she would be a hurricane.