Please remember that all things we say in this fic are not at all meant to be offensive in any way. Please do not take them too seriously. It's all just for shits and giggles.

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this," Alec grumbled as he walked beside Jace.

"You're the one who's making me tell Isabelle and Max about it," Jace retorted.

"Well were you planning on hiding it from them for nine months and just randomly pulling out a baby and yelling SURPRISE?"

Jace glared at the sidewalk. "Why do you always have to make things so difficult?"

Alec smirked at his adopted brother, "because it's my job."

Jace sighed in contempt, thinking back the night before when he had spent hours trying to convince Alec to accept his offer.

[FLASHBACK]

Jace strode into the room and leaned over the mahogany dining room table in an attempt to peer around the newspaper at Alec's face. "So, I've been thinking-"

"Oh, thanks for the warning," Alec pushed back his chair, nearly knocking it over as he attempted to escape.

Jace jumped in front of him before he could get too far. "Wait Alec, I really need your help. Would you please listen?" Jace pleaded with big puppy-dog eyes.

Alec sighed. "Fine, but make it quick. Dr. Phil is about to start."

Jace took a deep breath and blurted "I NEED YOU TO BE THE FATHER OF MY CHILD!"

"Wait, what?" There was awkward silence for a few seconds while Alec collected his thoughts. Finally he spoke, calmly and slowly. "I'm going to need just a little bit more detail because, last time I checked, unless you have access to a working uterus, that won't work."

Jace smiled proudly, "I've got that all figured out! I'll find a girl to carry the baby."

Alec squinted. "Not against her will, right?"

"What? NO! You know the Macy's that closed on the corner of Front and Balaclava? It reopened as a sperm bank!"

"Yeah, we got that part," Alec said, pointing down.

Jace's smile widened "No, no, no. They help you find a surrogate and do the artificial insemination and everything!"

"So, let me just get this straight. You were walking in the street on day, saw the open sign and just thought, that sounds great! I'll take one now and one for the road!"

"Alec, don't be stupid," Jace said. "You know I've been thinking about this for a long time. I need an heir for my company. I never really see myself settling down with anyone and I need this child Alec! I NEED IT!"

Alec raised a finger sassily. "Ok, first of all, you just said 'it'. It's a who. Secondly, you're 25. You shouldn't be worrying about having an heir yet. And last but not least, you hate children!"

Jace kissed his teeth disdainfully. "That's not even true. I love kids and you know it."

"Oh, really? Example number one," Alec began counting on his fingers. "A baby in church threw up by your shoes and you hissed at him. You literally hissed."

"Yeah but that's not-"

"Example number two, a small child cut in front of you at McDonalds and you picked him up, handed him to his mother, said 'here's your thingy,' and then ordered some chicken McNuggets."

"That's differ-"

"Example. Number. Three. When we went to the movies to see The Avengers, a kid kicked your seat once. You turned around, grabbed the kid by the shirt collar and said, and I quote, 'listen you little shit. Learn some manners before I teach them to you the hard way.' Then when the mother tried to intervene, you told her to 'shut her whore mouth' and to 'parent her thing like a proper bitch should.'"

Jace almost looked ashamed. Almost. "Yeah, but I've changed," he stammered. "I'm a grown man now. I'm mature."

"That was two weeks ago."

"Look, Alec, I didn't want to have to bring this up, but remember our old history teach-"

"Ok, ok I'll do whatever you want!"

"Good. And don't worry, you don't need to be the father, I just need you to pretend to be my boyfriend."

Alec looked shocked, "What? You want me to lie?"

"No," Jace said. "I want you to act."

"But why?"

"Because you're my best friend and there's no one else I would trust with my child. Also you're very judgy so you can help me pick out a surrogate. Oh, and I hear they're sympathetic to gay couples."

Alec stood from his chair. "So you want me to lie about being in love with you and deceive a government company all so I can help you do something you can probably do by yourself anyway?"

"Um, yeah."

"Why don't you just get one of your whores to do it?" Alec wined.

"Because," Jace sighed dramatically. "Then I would have to deal with said whore! Please Alec, I'm begging you!"

Alec sighed with exasperation. "Fine."

[END FLASHBACK]

"Are you guys seriously going to have a kid together? Ew, you're like brothers though," Said Max, taking a fry from the plate and dousing it in vinegar.

Jace stole the fry from Max's hand, shoving it in his mouth. "Did you not hear the story, Maxi-Pad? I'm only using him as a means to get my child."

"Gee, thanks." Alec grumbled sarcastically at the same time that Max yelled, "I told you not to call me that!"

Isabelle leaned forward and immediately started interrogating them. "Do you really think you're ready for that kind of commitment? You don't even like children. Have you considered the responsibilities? Are you willing to take care of the baby and put it before yourself?"

"I will love this kid with all my heart." Jace said, quite seriously.

There was a silence among them as Jace's serious words hung over them.

"So is she hot?" Max said, interrupting the silence and spitting fries everywhere.

"Is who hot?" Alec asked, avoiding the splatter from his brother's mouth.

"The chick with Jace's baby gravy," the seventeen year old clarified as he continued to stuff his face.

"Funny you should ask, we're actually interviewing surrogates tomorrow." Jace said with a smirk.

So that's the first chapter of our new fic.

We hope you enjoyed it and we would love to see your comments on how we can improve for later chapters.

We will try to update every week but it will be difficult since this is co-written.

Please review, we love feedback, good and bad.

But we are kind of new around here so no flames please?

The next chapter will be uploaded next week. See you then :)