"Excuse me!" The voices growled into my ear – my mind's voice was far away from me, too sick with panic to even dare echo in my head.
"Move!" Another voice spoke while elbowing me further into the crowd. They were all vicious, scary even. Like a side of you, that I wish I had never got acquainted with…it had been ages since that day…
Suddenly, I got tossed to the ground, with a few other reporters. We all quickly scrambled back up and pushed to the front. We were acting like those ants had in the desert; I remember getting pissed off because they crawled everywhere. Now I was acting the same way. Then again, I had been in this business for six years, I knew how it worked. Journalism wasn't a nice job for someone like me, but you know, it still felt right. I wanted to believe I wasn't like all of those other reporters, I listened to both sides of the story, I didn't make up my own, biased but more interesting story – even though my boss's wanted me too.
I never really understood the attraction I had to this job though, I hated the media. Especially when they have twisted our story into some sick, twisted and delusional tale. I remember reading about how you had stalked me from birth, from birth! And how you were obsessed with the beautiful woman I had become, so you stole me away the moment I was legal to have sex. And you raped me.
My mother complained, I made her complain – even though, I think she believed that story as much as any other gullible idiot, she was never the same as she used to be after the kidnapping, she was always more cautious with what she said, she was like a stranger to me.
I did all I could to protect you. At the trial, I remember telling them the truth. It went better than I thought it would, the judge was more understanding than everyone else…maybe not to you, but she was kind to me. I had told them about how you had stolen me away from everything I knew, how you had drugged me heavily and left my almost lifeless body in the trunk of your car. How you dragged me back to your little home when I had tried to escape so many times. You flinched when I said it was "your" home, didn't you? I saw you. I couldn't say it was our home Ty because, it never was. To me, it was just a cage that I was so desperate to leave…
Then again, I had told them about how you had stopped me from suicide too, and how you told me off your past, and the stories of the land that surrounded us. How you looked so gentle. I don't know if you wanted me to, but I also told them of those nightmares that had been plaguing your mind; I thought it would benefit you enough so that you could at least plead insane. I even told them of how you stopped Josh from, well, you remember. I told them of how I came to love the land – love you…
My mother had started crying then, her tears where all that could be heard when I said that, the judge had looked at me with raised eyebrows, but I could tell she understood. Even you, you looked at me then. Your eyes were wide with some feeling between sorrow and happiness. My own eyes were filling with tears.
I think I had helped a bit. You only got 10 years, and that was quickly narrowed down to 9 for good behaviour. I heard they had put you in your own cell too – I was grateful you weren't with any other people, you liked solitude.
…"He's here!" I heard someone shout from the front of the crowd, as soon as those words fell on everyone's ears, I think we all moved into a very fast pace then. There was shoving, and pushing and screaming. I was pushed to the floor once again, hitting the pavement with my head. I groaned but quickly pushed myself up and elbowed around six people out of the way. They deserved it. I had to see you!
Finally, I was at the front. You were being escorted out by a few men in suits, your head down and your eyes not visible. Your hair had grown even shaggier and your stubble was much longer. You seemed lifeless as you let a few of the men drag you by your elbows. You didn't see the camera's, did you?
The reporters had quickly figured out where you were heading, so they all quickly scrambled to the vehicle which you would soon be contained in. I was standing still.
I wondered for a moment if you would recognise me. The others didn't seem too.
I was paler, much paler than when we met. The snake bite didn't help with my health; I had to stay indoors for a while because of it – in bed, a feeble existence.
My hair was longer too, and darker, tied into a very uneven bun. One strand of hair was released from the style and allowed to wonder freely along the side of my face. I remember quietly releasing one strand of hair when we met too – in the coffee shop.
It had been to make myself look older; you simply brushed it back though.
I was wearing a skirt – suit, a tape recorder in my hand too. You walked past me for the first time, not noticing anything. This had triggered an alarm in my head. I needed to see you, and you were walking right past me.
"No!" I murmured to myself, I was not letting you go – not again!
I forced myself into the crowd, kicking and threatening like a wild cat – clawing at anyone in my way – until once again, I was pushed to the front. You were only 10 seconds away from me. 1... 2… 3…. 4…. 5…. 6… 7…
Quickly, I released my arm out in front of me; the tape recorder was right into your face now. It was all in slow motion.
You turned your head slightly to look at me, your eyes still covered by your fringe, the men in suit slowly whispering to you, "Just ignore her." They warned you. You looked like you were going to rip my head off; I guess that's what they thought you would do. "So…" I spoke to you confidently, or at least, I hope it seemed that way. "What are you going to do now? Ty…" I hope you caught onto my accent; it was a little bit Australian, a little bit like yours used to be.
I went back there shortly after the trial; I wanted to get away, so nothing better than the other side of the planet. My parent's had thought it would be good closure for me too. I didn't go to the desert, of course I couldn't. I stayed in Sydney. Leaving Anna, and Ben behind in England, leaving you behind too.
Did you recognise me then Ty? I hoped you would but I couldn't be sure, so I said this to add to the certainty. "I guess "Wobbleguts" is getting lonely.." Do you remember? We had caught a camel, and you wanted me to name her. When I said "Stolen," you simply dismissed that, "I think she should be called Wobbleguts." You had laughed.
"Gem…" You whispered, your eyes were now in view and they were slicing into me, as beautiful and as paralysing as they used to be – one thing that never changed. For one brief moment all of the cameras and men in suits just disappeared- it was you and me, looking at the stars in serenity, all over again.
I didn't want to ruin this moment by asking you all the questions that had been building up for nine years, I couldn't. So instead, I slowly let the crowd consume me, they were now in your face, and you were getting pulled into the car for your own protection. "Gemma!" You screamed, desperately. "Gemma! Come back to me!" Your voice was rough and urgent but it was being drowned by everyone else's noise.
"Goodbye Ty – thank you."
Looking back, I think it was cruel to leave it like that, just letting you wonder what that smile meant, just letting you know that I had loved you still. Then again, I know it wasn't as cruel as it would have been to let you know me. I would have disappointed you Ty – I'm not the sixteen year old anymore, I'm not as free as you wanted me to be. But I'm happy like this. Because one month after your release, I met a man. He was sweet and bought me coffee, his hair was shorter than yours and his eyes weren't as sharp.
He is the complete opposite of you, and I love him. We are married now, with one child whom has long, sandy hair, and his gaze is as piercing as yours. I named him Tyler, in hope that he will be as passionate about life as you – in hope that he will be as free as you are now…
I must go, I only wrote to make you understand that it was my own selfish act that brought me there that day, and not my love for you. I needed closure, I needed to see you free before I could rest, now – my future is waiting, and so is yours…Goodbye Ty…