For Cris, because she's my platonic and not-so-platonic soulmate. :-*
Girl Friday. What is the definition of that exactly? The go-to girl. The best friend. The sidekick. The one you never see. Girl Friday is needed, but she doesn't get the attention, the praise, the respect she deserves. Because Girl Friday pales in comparison to the dream girl. The one that is perfect with her raven hair and silky skin. Her beautiful eyes and her way of making everything look so easy.
She can smile at you and you turn into a puddle of over exaggerated goo. No matter what she does, you can never see anything wrong with her. She pulls out the "dead parents" card and you will go running to her. You look at her through your telescope, and I don't think I need to mention how creepy that is. But of course, if you were looking at me through a telescope late at night, while I'm in my house ... I'd have to kill you and then die of embarrassment, because I do some pretty embarrassing things -- I'm wandering at the subject at hand. So sorry.
Suppose I should blame myself for this. You looked at me like I was more than Girl Friday once. You thought I was beautiful. You realized I was a girl. You held me in your arms so tightly. You were so warm. But you ran off. To rescue her. And I suppose I shouldn't feel so angry about that, considering she would have died if you hadn't. I need to stop acting like such a spoiled brat. I was the one that said that it would be best if we stayed friends. But you don't get it.
You were supposed to see my past fake smile. You were supposed to see that was the last thing I wanted. You were supposed to tell me it wasn't that easy. And that spending those brief moments with me in your arms, and our almost kiss, that you couldn't just go back to being friends. Because deep down in your heart, you loved me. But you didn't do that. You agreed with me. And I felt my heart break in half.
I should give it to you. You can make me break down, and I completely despise you for it. I do, really. If you were here right now, I would be giving you the death to Clark look. You got your own look, you know.
You're my best friend. And god, am I turning into a character off Dawson's Creek now? You're my best friend and I'm in love with you. Sometimes I'd take it all back to just get my friend back. Before we crossed that line. Before I found myself falling deeper for you. I'd take it all back to remember having Clark Kent as that one constant in my life. But then a part of me knows I wouldn't. Because for that brief moment, you were mine. Lana Lang didn't touch you at that one moment. It was us. You smiled at me. For me.
In some sense, I've lost you. And well, hey, that sucks. Because Clark Kent -- that person was special to me. Still is. I wish I could just tuck everything I feel for you and throw it in a box. I wish I could then take that box and pack it away where I would never have to see it again. Only if it was that easy.
Contrary to popular belief, I'm not trying to make this hard. For me. For you. For even Lana. If I could move on, I would. If I could stop loving you, I would. If I could stop feeling like you're this perfect thing for me, I would. Because, hey, I'm not a glutton for punishment, as much as is it seems I am.
You see, I know you're keeping something. But you're not the only one with a secret. I let you think I just wanted to be friends. But honestly, it was all I could handle. Every time you ran out on me, something pulled at my heart again. I wish you could trust me with your secret. But I couldn't trust you with my own.
You're my best friend. But I can't help wanting more. I just want you back, to have you like I had you before. But I want more at the same time. And I may not be Lana Lang, but I do know how you looked at me. You promised me it would be one night I would never forget. And no matter how hard I try to forget it, I can't.
The concept of soulmates is really ridiculous and you won't hear me preaching that to you, anytime soon. But I do believe I'm a match for you. Without me, you'd be spending all your time dreaming about the girl who up to two years ago, didn't give you the time of day. If it wasn't for me, you'd probably get yourself thrown in jail for your peeping tom reputation. If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be able to have someone that you could walk all over and would take you back at the end of the day.
I'm your information girl. And that hurts.
I asked you if you were outgrowing me as a friend. And you said you could never outgrow me, except vertically. I want that statement to still be true.
I want to be more than Girl Friday. Because as cool and hip as Girl Friday is, she gets stepped over way too much. Do I look like a doormat to you? Girl Friday never gets what she deserves. She never gets that look. You know what look I'm talking about. The look that you give Lana Lang every *single* day. Girl Friday never gets the hero to look at her like she's something special. And worse off, why is Girl Friday always getting herself in trouble? Please, the whole damsel in distress is not my thing.
And maybe I'm over-looking the fact that Girl Friday has indeed gotten the hero. But do you have any idea how long it takes for the hero to finally realize how great Girl Friday is? He plays the whole oblivious card for longer than he should, and just when Girl Friday is finally about to move on, he opens the blinds and realizes how much he's in love with her. And how stupid is Girl Friday? She falls in his arms. She never pushes him away and moves on and never looks behind her.
Why?
Because she's too in love with the grand old hero. She can't get enough of that hero complex. The charming smile. The pretty eyes. The way he even looks good all scruffed up. Or the way -- okay, you get it.
Girl Friday is almost a bigger moron than the hero.
Every day, I tell myself this little thing... I tell myself I won't be your Girl Friday anymore. I won't wait around for you to realize how great I am. How perfect I am for you. I tell myself I won't wait around forever for you while you moon over the dream girl. The perfect girl. The girl that everyone moons over. I tell myself I will find myself one good looking man, you know one who doesn't end up trying to kill me, and I'll move on. And you'll have to watch me spend my time with someone and know that you want me as badly as I wanted you.
I tell myself that I won't be Girl Friday for you. Be the one that you walk all over. The one you don't see. The one you don't love. The one you won't love until it's too late.
But at the end of the night, I end up in this same old place.
I'm still the Girl Friday to your Hero.