My first CT fic. I decided to write this when I saw how ridiculous the Italian names were. Seriously, I don't believe it. But I guess I'm kinda sadistic. I was laughing like crazy when I saw Taki's name. I mean, it's bad enough that his Japanese name sounds like "Tacky" in English, right? This is just freakin' sad.

"Guys! Did you read this month's soccer magazine? I cut some of it out! You might find it interesting!"

Tsubasa, Taki, Yuzo, Mamoru, and Teppei turned. It was Ryou, waving 6 slips of paper cut from the magazine. Did that guy have an uncle or something working there, or was he just obsessed with reading?

They blinked.

It must be the uncle. Ryou couldn't be obsessed with reading, or he would know how to get the average of a set of numbers in high school, right? Yes. No. Maybe so. It was weird, but that's Ryou for you.

Usually, you can see what type of news it is by Ryou's face. If he's smiling, then it's good news. If he's looking angry, then it's news about some reporter dissing them. If he's looking urgent, it's... urgent news.

Right now, he was looking half-disgusted and half-amused.

Talk about mixed feelings.

Anyway, he was holding the slips out. They each took one, leaving Ryou with one. But that's obvious. I mean, come on, what were they supposed to do? Grab two, crumple them up, and throw it into the gutter? That's not even possible.

However, back to the point.

5 seconds later, there were snickers coming from everyone.

Tsubasa spoke first.

"Oh hello, Johnny Mason," he said to Teppei. "How do you do?"

Everyone chuckled, but Teppei wasn't fazed.

"Very well, thank you, Oliver Hutton," he fired back, grabbing Tsubasa's hand and shaking it violently.

Everyone laughed lightly at Tsubasa's name. The way Johnny- err, Teppei pronounced it, it sounded like Oliver 'Humpton'. (1)

"Hey, Mamoru," said Yuzo, picking up the thread. "Why didn't you tell us your name was Paul Diamond? Such a pretty name."

Everyone except Mamoru snickerd. Diamond?

"At least I'm not Alan Crocker," replied Mamoru after everyone had finished. "You remind me of Irwin."

Everyone chuckled. Good ol' crocodile hunter.

After the chuckling had finished, Taki collected the slips and prepared to hand them back to Ryou.

"Thank you for this valuable information, Bruce Harper," he said, smirking. "Would you say hi to Steph for us?" (2)

This time, everyone laughed out loud trying, and failing, to imagine Ryou as someone called Bruce Harper, and for his relative to be STEPH. I mean, can you? It's absolutely hilarious. It's like someone spelt their own name wrong.

"Of-course I will, Ted Carter," said Ryou, grinning from ear to ear and waving the slip with Taki's name in his face.

The slips fell from Taki's outstretched hand as the others stuffed their fists into their mouths to stop from breaking people's eardrums. TED CARTER? CARTER?

You mean as in Aaron Carter! That idiot that probably doesn't know his left from right?

"You mean as in Aaron Carter! That baka that probably doesn't know his left from right?"

"Yes, Ted, I mean that Carter," said Ryou sweetly, retrieving the fallen slips while everyone else were nearly suffocating themselves from laughing too hard.

"I hate him! Him and his annoying brother, Nick!"

"Awww... that's ok. Maybe we should plan a vacation for you and those two junkies to patch things up between relatives," said Ryou. He turned to the laughing soccer players. "Right guys?"

Tsubasa recovered enough to say one thing. One thing that made Taki run for his life.

"Yeah! Maybe we should send them to Canada on the day of that Pride Parade,"(3) Tsubasa smirked. "You might find it..." he searched for the right word. "...nice... in the way that makes you..." he paused, snickering. "...you know..." Tsubasa licked his lips. "...lean or swing a certain way..."

More laughs, more suffocation.

For 7 whole years, (4) Taki was almost always found shivering and traumatized in some underground ditch or up high in the branches in a pine tree in the middle of some dense forest.

Bruce sighed.

Maybe he shouldn't have told him his 'Italian' name.

(1) Everyone laughed lightly at Tsubasa's name. The way Johnny- err, Teppei pronounced it, it sounded like Oliver 'Humpton'.

I tried saying it a few times fast. I ended up saying Over Humpton.

(2) Would you say hi to Steph for us?

If you don't give a rat's bum about Canadian politics -Stephen Harper is the Prime Minister.

(3) Yeah! Maybe we should send them to Canada on the day of that Pride Parade

The Pride Parade (or Gay Parade) takes place annually in Downtown, Vancouver. (that I know of, since I live in the Lower Mainland) It's a parade that (shudder) "celebrates" gayness and so-called 'freedom'. I'm pretty much against yaoi tho, (cough-Christian-cough) so I hate that day. And so does Taki-san now.

(4) For 7 whole years

7 years of bad luck, right? 7 years of traumitization.

Heh. No offense whatsoever to Italian Captain Tsubasa viewers. I just found it really amusing.

Please read and review! This is my first CT fic, and I really want people to review it. Please?

Oh, and, if anyone knows the Italian names of other CT characters, (hoping for Wakabayashi Genzou, Wakashimasu Ken, Misaki Taro, and Hyuga Kojiro) please let me know! I want to make another parody!

I know this wasn't all that funny, but its a first attempt.

No offense either to Aaron/Nick Carter fans. I've just never liked those two. Maybe it's because there's a jerk that I know called Aaron, so I hate them now. How should I know, ne? I also know a person called Nick, and he's OK, but his friend Mike isn't. He's f-ed up. Mike is. Not Nick. Nick's OK. (blows raspberry at imaginary Mike, grabs a soccer ball and kicks it like Kojiro into Mike's face. Ow.)

IN YOUR FACE!

Ahem. Anyway.

REVIEW! Those make me so happy!

MC

(may be continued. depending on the info I aquire. GEN-KUN! KEN-KUN! TA-KUN! KO-KUN!)