A/N: Ok so my mom found half of this story on paper(its smutty) and now she's on the look out(shit). So after I write/type/post these non-child appropriate stories I have to throw the paper away and delete the typing. So if I ever lose any of my documents, we are all screwed. Sorry. Anyways this was done for Girrlylover on tinier me.

Warning: Sex, masturbation, cheating, Yaoi, slight KakuKona & HiTema, and of course KakuHi.

Disclaimer: No bar belongs to me, I don't own Splenda, I don't own Stater Brothers, and Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. I also don't own fruit-of-the-loom(I own a pair just not the company).

When Drinking Takes Off Underpants

Kakuzu opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was a wooden ceiling. He sighed as he turned his head to the bed side table. According to his digital clock it was 4:03 am. It was the same everyday since that event. He woke up between 4:00-4:30 am, took a shower, drank coffee, and harbored a longing for someone other than his wife. He pulled the cotton baby blue comforter off of him and got out of his shared bed. He grabbed a pair of ripped blue jeans, a white cotton v-neck t-shirt, and a pair of fruit-of-the-loom boxers. He made his way to the bathroom and locked the door behind him. He stripped off his plaid red pajama pants and black shirt. He hesitated to take off his boxers as he looked at himself in the mirror. A man with tan skin, perfect torso muscles, black shoulder-length hair, dazzling red and green eyes, tall, strong, smart, smooth, with black stitches covering his whole body. Kakuzu Hoku was an image of every sophisticated women's dreams. He was like Johnny Depp but more tough and street like. He didn't want to pull off his boxers and see that limp member that hadn't been in use for weeks. His wife just no longer got him up, only that person from that night did. He slowly took off his silky black blue boxers. His member hung like a dead horses head. His member that ached to be between soft white skin that was slowly turning a raw red, he who ached to hear that seductive voice moan his name, to smell the cinnamon-blood scent of the others hair, and to see those purple eyes wide and teary from the pain and the pleasure. He was getting hard through that thought alone. No, he needed to stop thinking about that person. That was a one time deal and not to mention he was drunk when he did it. He turned on the water in the shower to cool on low power. He climbed in and started to wash his body. Instead of his hands, he pictured soft white hands caressing his body. Kakuzu opened his eyes and left his fantasy to find he was hard. He grasped his erection and closed his eyes again. This time the pale hands were pumping his cock and a voice was talking to him. The pumps got harder and more violent. "Cum for me Kuzu," the voice said, and Kakuzu followed it's command. Kakuzu came hard with a grunt. "That's a good boy~ hehe~," the voice said before it disappeared. Kakuzu sighed after he came back to reality. He didn't even have the patience to wash his hair so he just turned the water off and got out. He dried his body quickly but stopped when he got to his hair. He looked at himself, he was wet, his hair was messed up, and he was frowning deeply. Then he smiled because he wondered what the hell that person had that his own wife Konan didn't. Kakuzu hoped he would see that Hidan guy real soon.

Hidan San woke up at 8:00, which was pretty fucking early for him. He literally rolled out of his bed and onto the floor with a loud thud. He looked up from his laying position on the floor to Temari who was still asleep. He stood up, which made him dizzy and rubbed the back of his head. He grabbed a pair of gray boxers off the floor and put them on. Temari and him had not had sex the night before but Hidan never slept with any clothes on. Actually he had been refusing sex with Temari since that night. He learned that he did not like to fuck but in fact liked to be the fuck. He liked the feeling of being filled with someone else's dick. He trudged down the stairs of his house to his kitchen. He started his coffee maker and began to think. He thought about that night that had all started at that bar, of which the name he could not remember. He had gotten drunk and so had that tall, dark, and handsome man, Kakuzu. They had fucked and woken up next to each other embarrassed at fucking shit. Hidan could remember every crevices of his body that those rough hands had touched. The thought sent chills down his back. Kakuzu was everything his dumb bitch girlfriend, Temari wasn't. He added six packets of Splenda to his coffee and drank it. He wondered if maybe Kakuzu and him would meet again.

Kakuzu left his home around 11:00 to go get lunch for his wife and himself, by Konan's request. He was walking to Stater Brothers when he saw a huge green truck hit a little bunny on the road. He grimaced at the mangled bunny in the middle of the road. He flipped off the truck that hit the bunny, and frowned at the flies already swarming the bunny carcass. He continued his way to Stater Brothers with the dead bunny and that Hidan guy on his mind. He arrived at Stater Brothers and walked through the automatic open doors. He went down the aisle for bread and picked out whole wheat sandwich bread. Konan and himself ate healthy so they could live longer. He went and picked out turkey meat and then went down the aisle for water and saw something that made his heart skip a beat. Leaning down with his butt in the air was that gorgeous silver-haired man Hidan. He was currently looking at prices for water jugs. He switched the weight of his feet and his ass shifted more towards Kakuzu. Kakuzu could only stare dumbly at the beauty before him until that beauty turned to face him, that was.

Hidan decided on the Stater Brothers brand of ridiculously over priced water jugs. He turned towards the exit of the aisle and saw Kakuzu with his mouth hanging open. This caused Hidan to drop his basket on his foot and yelp loudly. Kakuzu fixed his face and went over to help Hidan pick up the contents of his basket. While they cleaned up Hidan's mess they were blushing madly and trying not to look at each other. Finally it was all cleaned up and Kakuzu offered a hand to Hidan who was in a crouching position. Hidan took the hand and Kakuzu helped him up. Hidan picked up his basket before he turned to Kakuzu and said,

"Err, umm thanks."

Kakuzu blushed and replied, "Your welcome."

Kakuzu picked up two large water bottles and both of the men headed towards the check out line. Hidan put his items up on the check out line belt. With a moments hesitation, Kakuzu put his stuff with Hidans. Hidan looked up at Kakuzu with a confused face. Kakuzu pulled out his wallet and said,

"I'll pay for everything." Now this was something that should be put in a worlds records book. Kakuzu never paid for anything that he didn't have to, because after all the world ran on money. He didn't even pay for things for Konan, but here he was offering to pay for Hidans things. Instantly Hidan's cheeks turned pink and his wide purple eyes sparkled with appreciation. No one was ever this nice to Hidan.

"Thank you very much," Hidan said.

"Your very welcome," Kakuzu replied and smiled down at Hidan. This caused Hidan to smile too. Kakuzu paid the cashier and grabbed the majority of the bags. Hidan and Kakuzu walked down the side walk of the left side of Stater Brothers. They came up to a hotel and Hidan broke the comfortable silence.

"I have to rent a room for Temari and I for tonight. Would you like to come in to check it out with me," Hidan lied to Kakuzu.

Kakuzu knew he was lying but said, "Sure. I'd love to help you." Hidan smiled and practically skipped to the hotel, with Kakuzu in tow. Kakuzu smiled at the excited little Hidan. God damn, Kakuzu thought, what is this man doing to me? Hidan bounded up to the registration person at the hotel and asked for a room with a one bed. The woman gave Hidan a key to room 35A. The woman winked at Kakuzu and mouthed get lucky as Kakuzu walked past. This made Kakuzu blush and smile as he looked at Hidan. Kakuzu looked back at the lady and mouthed I will. This made the women smile and laugh. Kakuzu averted his attention back to Hidan, more like his ass that was. Hidan was wearing black skinny jeans, a ripped dark blue shirt, a hot pink belt around his waist, his hair was slicked back, and he was wearing black vans with gray spider webs on them. Hidan's ass looked quite fuckable in those pants. They finally reached the room and Hidan opened the door with the key he was given. The room looked like any old hotel room. It was white with a rim of blue flower paper. The bed was a cotton white and had no design on it. The room had one bathroom which looked just like the main room, only it had a plain white toilet, shower, and sink. Hidan plopped onto the bed and motioned for Kakuzu to sit next to him. Kakuzu slowly sat next to Hidan, so close that their thighs touched.

"So you know, ha, we never really got to know each other," Hidan laughed kind of nervously.

"Well you really don't talk about yourself when your drunk and fucking with some random person," Kakuzu replied laughing, making it seem natural. This made Hidan giggle and smile. Hidan really like Kakuzu, he was so strong and kind. Instinctively Kakuzu put his arm around Hidan's shoulder and pulled him closer, just like they were the best of friends. Hidan blushed and smiled. He put his head on Kakuzu's shoulder and started to play with the other mans shirt hem. Kakuzu looked down at Hidan and smiled lovingly. Hidan looked up at Kakuzu and his eyes showed love and affection. Kakuzu leaned down and kissed Hidan. Hidan kissed back with a roaring passion. Kakuzu pushed Hidan on his back into the bed and climbed on top of him. This time when their lips met, you could feel the fire that they had been holding back. They roughly kissed each other and Kakuzu pushed his tongue into Hidan's mouth. Their tongues started the battle for dominance. Kakuzu won in the end. Kakuzu started ripping Hidan's shirt off the younger man.

"That costs money, you know," Hidan said, teasing Kakuzu.

"Don't worry about that baby, I can buy you a new one after," Kakuzu growled playfully at Hidan, as he attacked the pale neck. Hidan moaned loudly and pushed his groin into Kakuzu's.

"Enough play, I want to fuck now," Hidan purred seductively, his voice not matching his statement at all.

"Shh, be patient now. You'll get what you want," Kakuzu whispered into Hidan's ear. Kakuzu ripped off Hidans shirt and them took off his own. Kakuzu teased Hidan's nipple with his mouth. Hidan moaned and moaned once more when the two men's groins met. Hidan could feel that Kakuzu was just as horny as he was, after all how could you miss it when pushing into your inner thigh. Hidan started to unbutton his pants and so Kakuzu did the same to his own pants. Kakuzu easily slipped off his pants while Hidan struggled at his.

"Stupid skinny jeans," Hidan mumbled as he tried to get his pants off, with no prevail. Kakuzu chuckled and with one movement took off Hidan's pants. Hidan blushed and said,

"whatever." Kakuzu chuckled again and went to bit and nibble down Hidans sides. Hidan moaned and said breathily,

"Hurt me." Kakuzu was not surprised and started to pull at Hidan's hair and biting at Hidans flat stomach. Kakuzu even bit at Hidan's inner thigh, which caused Hidan to gasp in pleasure. Hidan pulled Kakuzu up to his mouth by his hair. Their lips met once more in a lusty slop. Hidan licked and bit at Kakuzu's face stitches. Kakuzu growled at this action, playfully of course. Kakuzu attacked Hidan's ear with his mouth and rubbed hard on Hidan's erection with his hand. Hidan pressed his erection more into the taller mans hand.

"A-ha, fuck me into the ground," Hidan managed to gasp out between moans.

"It'll be my pleasure," Kakuzu said, smirking. Kakuzu quickly rid Hidans and his own underpants. Kakuzu entered Hidan without warning, making Hidan scream. Blood ran down Hidans thigh as Kakuzu began pounding into him. Hidan moaned with the mixture of pain and pleasure, making Kakuzu pound harder. Kakuzu dug his nails into Hidans hips and thrust harder and harder. Hidan brought Kakuzu's mouth to his own and kissed me deeply. Kakuzu bit Hidan's lip, making it bleed. Hidan was in heaven when Kakuzu hit his special spot.

"Oh Jashin, I think I'm going to cum soon Kuzu," Hidan whispered. Kakuzu slammed into Hidan so hard that it shook the whole floor. Hidan came and screamed,

"Kuzu~!" When Hidan released, his ass became tighter making Kakuzu cum with a groan. Kakuzu stayed in Hidan a little longer to regain his strength again. Kakuzu pulled out of Hidan and laid next to the man. Hidan cuddled up to Kakuzu's chest and Kakuzu held him there.

"Hey, by the way I lied about needing this room. I just wanted to fuck with you again," Hidan said quietly.

"I know, I wanted to fuck you too," Kakuzu responded and laughed lightly. Hidan laughed too. Kakuzu realized what was different about Hidan and Konan. Hidan was loud, kind of stupid, said his opinion, wasn't afraid, and went after what he wanted. Konan was quiet, sophisticated, didn't talk a lot, cared what other people thought, and waited for what she wanted. Kakuzu much preferred Hidan over his wife. He would kill the whole universe for this man, if only to see him happy. Kakuzu finally found who he wanted to spend his life with. With that thought Kakuzu fell asleep, quickly followed by Hidan, and both of them had a smile on their face.

After Note: I'm sorry for the horrid sex scene. It was my first KakuHi sex story. So I'm sorry about this mushy bull shit. Please forgive me.

Please review, it makes me want to write more J