Shikamaru's Weird Day

This is actually a ShikaChou crackfic! Not only does Shikamaru have a weird day, but Chouji, his best friend, is coming on to him! What is wrong with all this?

An early Christmas present for whitedog2! Written this way by request!

Enjoy everyone!

I do not own the Naruto characters! If I did, there'd be tons of our favourite pairings!

Shikamaru Nara, the laziest Ninja, but also the smartest, due to his I.Q. of over 200, was taking a walk around the village, trying to find his teammates, Ino Yamanaka and Chouji Akimichi, hoping one of them would be interesting in a game of chess.

He didn't go very far when he passed by Sasuke and Naruto, who were up against a nearby wall…making out.

Even he had to stare in complete surprise and shock. He NEVER expected this!

"Oh…my God…"

Not only that, both of them were dressed in clothes, that were also colours they'd never be caught dead in.

"Sasuke….yeah that's it….oh….right there…"

"Mm…that's it Naruto, that's what I want to hear…you were terrific last night…ngh…"

I'm getting out of here. Shikamaru walked away as quick as he could, although not very fast, from the two passionately making out duo.

Oh God! The mental image is stuck! Great, now I'm scarred for life. Terrific.

"Hey, Shikamaru!"

Turning, he saw his best friend Chouji Akimichi running toward him. He felt relieved.

"Hey, Chouji." Shikamaru waved at him. "Want to grab some ribs at the barbeque hut?"

"Nah, I'm not hungry." Chouji shook his head.

The shadow boy's eyes widened again. "Excuse me? Did you just say…you weren't hungry?!"

"Yeah, I did, didn't I? I'm actually hungry for something else."

Shikamaru stared. "For what?"

Chouji smiled and leaned over him. "You."

Before Shikamaru could react, the large boy grabbed him and planted his lips on his.

OH MY GOD! WHAT IS HE DOING! EWWWWW!!! GET OFFA ME!!! Shikamaru managed to break free and ran away, never running so fast in his life!

"Come back here, my love!" Chouji hurried after him.

Shikamaru kept running and hurried into the Yamanaka Flower shop.

"Phew! Chouji's gone crazy!" Turning from the door, he faced the counter…AND FOUND SAKURA AND INO MAKING OUT!

"Oh! Shikamaru!" Ino turned from the pink-haired girl. "Didn't see you come in! Did you want something?"

"Uh…no thanks. Never mind." Shikamaru exited the shop, shuddering. As if Sasuke and Naruto making out wasn't bad enough, Sakura and Ino are worse! Yuck!

"SHIKAMARUUUUU!!" Chouji cried happily, running toward him.

"Crap!" Shikamaru tuned and hurried away as quick as he could. GET ME OUTTA HEEEEREEEE!!

When he slowed down to a walk, he walked by Asuma, his teacher.

"Morning, Asuma-sensei."

"Mornin' Shikamaru!" Asuma said cheerfully.

"Hey…you don't have a cigarette!"

"Of course not. I quit."

"WHAT!" Well, in a way, that was good news. But still, it was weird!

"That's right! And oh yes, I forgot! I've got to invite you to the wedding!"

"Wedding? Who's wedding?"

"Mine of course! Me and Kurenai Yuuhi are getting married!"

"WHAAAT!" Shikamaru burst. "…I think I'm gonna be sick."

"Not to worry, my love! I'll take care of you!" Chouji said happily, hugging Shikamaru.

"Ewwww! Get away from me!" Shikamaru pulled away and ran off.

"Come back my loooooooove!" Chouji squealed, hurrying after him.

Running as fast as he could, Shikamaru just couldn't believe how crazy his day was. First Sasuke and Naruto making out, Chouji coming on to him, Ino and Sakura making out, Asuma quitting smoking, Asuma and Kurenai getting married, it was all too weird!

Stopping to catch his breath, he looked up and saw something even more horrifying.

Rock Lee and Gaara, the Kazekage of the Hidden Sand village, were walking around holding hands and kissing occasionally. (Don't get me wrong, I love this pairing!)

He also saw Temari and TenTen making out on a park bench. (I like this pairing!)

Kiba and Hinata kissing.

Shino and Neji? WTF?

Poor Shikamaru was ready to grab his hair and scream.

"SHIKAMARU MY LOOOOOOOOOVE!"

"Nooooooooooo!!" Shikamaru ran away and bumped smack into Itachi.

"Waah!"

"Helloooo!" Itachi said in a jolly voice. "So nice to see you! Shikamaru, right? I'm Itachi! Sasuke's wonderful older brother! Meet Kisame! My boyfriend!" (Sorry Tay-chan!)

"Heeyyy!" Kisame waved. "Wassup, my boy?"

"AAAAAAARRRGHHH!!" Shikamaru hurried away, screaming.

"What's his problem?"

"Oh, who cares? Let's go shopping!"

"Okay!"

And so…

Shikamaru ran around the village, everything he saw was getting weirder and weirder! What was a poor boy to do?

"Shikamaru! There you are!" Chouji caught up to him. "Please don't run from me! I love you!"

"K-keep away! Please! Can't we be friends?"

"I don't want to be just friends…" Chouji closed in on him.

Shikamaru back hit the wall as he backed away.

"Please love me…"

"N-…Chouji no…"

"Come love me…love me…love me…"

Chouji was getting closer and closer…

Shikamaru gulped. HELP MEEEE!!!

SNAP!

Shikamaru sat up awake in cold sweat. Once he was breathing normally, he sighed in relief.

"Phew! It was just a dream." He sighed.

"What was just a dream, honey?"

Eyes widening in horror, Shikamaru turned and saw Chouji sleeping next to him in his bed. And he looked horny and hungry.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

THE END!

How was that? Short, stupid, silly, crack fic! My first time writing ShikaChou! LOL! I know it wasn't much, but hey, that's crack fics for you! And I love crack fics! They're so stupid and so funny! Hope it was good! Please review!

Hope you enjoyed it, whitedog2!