Title: Ulterior Motives
Fandom: NCIS
Author: Alidiabin
Words: 1,579
Disclaimer: I own nothing
Warnings/ Spoilers: 8x21.
Parings: Abby/Simon Cade
Summary: Simon asks Abby why she does all that charity work.
Ulterior Motives
It seemed like a good idea for a second date, Abby had thought. It would show off her caring and charitable side, and meant she did not have to cancel her date in order to do her weekly shift at the soup kitchen. Simon had seemed excited by the idea making a joke that it would be cheapest date he ever went on. It had been enjoyable evening. Some of the regulars had made jokes. One of the regulars, and old guy named Max had joked that he had missed his last chance at true love, after Abby had mentioned it was her and Simon's second date. That had made Cade slightly uncomfortable. His uncomfort levels had only risen, when Max had put his hands on Simon's shoulder and told him if he hurt Abby that he (Max) would come after him.
Abby sat in the front seat of her hearse. She leaned her head on the cold glass.
"That is surprisingly tiring," Simon said stifling a yawn. Abby smiled.
"Did you have fun?" Abby asked as she turned the ignition on.
"It was interesting," Simon replied in an uncertain tone. Abby appeared not to hear, his uncertainty and began to blabber.
"Don't worry about Max, he's really an old softie."
"Why?" Simon interrupted, he was not asking about Max, as the former football player knew he could take the old homeless geezer on if push came to shove.
"He couldn't hurt a fly," Abby said still under the illusion the conversation was about Max.
"No," Simon said, "Why do you do all this charity work?"
It was a valid question, one he had not considered until after he got back from their first date. Abby had explained that she worked for habitat for humanity, the homeless shelter, drove for the food bank and helped raise guide dogs for blind people. Though Simon had found her big heart wonderful, he could not help but shake the feeling she had an ulterior motive. He had written that off as being an investigator too long.
"Oh," Abby said. "I like helping people I guess."
Silence filled the car suffocating both occupants like poisonous gas. Simon began to consider how badly he had screwed up, how his foot was in his mouth, and how he should try to make it up.
Abby pondered his question. She had always done charity work, always been helpful. She was always the first person to befriend a new student in school even if a week later that same new student would call her a freak; she worked part time at an animal shelter during high school but mainly because the careers councillor said it would look good on a college application. In college she had worked at a food bank during her freshman as community service after being caught underage and intoxicated, when her term was over she had stayed for the rest of her time at LSU.
Once she got her masters and began working at NCIS, she remained involved with charities like habitat for humanity as they required less of her time which allowed her to socialise too. She used to have quite an extensive social life filled with people who worked in her field, or listened to the same music as she. Not a week would go by without an invitation to a party or concert.
And when she met Kate, Abby finally got a best girlfriend who she could do normal girl stuff with like nail painting, spa weekends and lunches. Even if the nail polish was black, the spa weekends were cancelled due to a case, and the lunches were washed down by caf-pow.
Then Kate died. Ziva came. Abby did not like her at first, she was trying to replace Kate and so different. Ziva was cold, emotionless and in Abby's eyes a guy minus the penis. Eventually, Abby had realised Ziva was not all bad when she invited them over for dinner. Abby had found Ziva had a clean and normal looking apartment and could cook. When Abby snooped around Ziva's bathroom she found much to her surprise aqua blue nail varnish and other girl items. Her and Ziva slowly bonded into semi-closeness. They did not become best friends though that was never expected by either of them.
Meanwhile, Abby's fellow scientists and industrial rock fans that formed her social group outside of NCIS began to grow up. For the scientists life was no longer all about work, they met people whom they had chemistry with and began some biological experiments. The industrial rock fans started to change, their wardrobes began to include colour for the first time since puberty and they got grown up jobs in offices. Concerts and parties were replaced with alternative wedding ceremonies and naming ceremonies for children named after scientists.
Her 'family' also found less time for her. Tony desperately tried to pretend he was still young by chasing after women in bars, often using poor McGee as his wingman. Ziva got involved with Rivkin, then … went away, then came back. But she was not the same when she came back. When she left at the end of the day no-one was really sure where she went. Then when she finally seemed to be getting better and reaching out for Abby again, she went off to Miami. Ducky and her did lunch occasionally but Ducky had a life since his mother was hospitalized, he was making up for lost time with dates to opera, theatre and ballet. Palmer was not someone Abby could hang around with all the time as was busy with medical school, and Gibbs did not leave his basement.
Even Abby's penpal in Lichtenstein had more of a life than she did.
Abby for the first time since junior high school found her Friday nights and the following weekend were spent at home alone. Abby despite her taste in music and style of dress had never been depressed in all her time on earth, found herself in a rut for the first time ever she found herself dreading weekends.
It was Sister Rosita who offered the solution when she noticed Abby's melancholy during one of their bowling practices (the only social outing that remained on her calendar). Abby had explained and Sister Rosita had offered support in her special almost maternal way as she always did, and suggested Abby help her out at the homeless shelter.
Abby had jumped at the idea, envisioning herself as mini-skirt clad mother Theresa type. She had found the reality of helping out at the shelter to be rewarding and found she had not felt so wanted for such a long time. Like a drug addiction, soon working at the shelter was not enough. The internet proved a hub of charities all begging for volunteers. Abby did not discriminate: she foster guide dogs, visiting an old person for two hours a week and signing on for a mentoring programme for girls in underprivileged areas. The mentoring programme rejected her due to her work schedule. Abby learnt her drug did not always produce the desired high.
She also learnt her drug came with side effects. Soon almost all of her free time was swallowed up by worthy causes and needy people who all wanted her. Alejandro was the first man in nearly two years who got close to being a love interest in the fast paced slightly obscure movie that was her life, even if he did turn out to be a rat only using her to piss off Gibbs. Her and Ducky's infrequent lunches became almost obsolete. Ziva's occasional attempts at a girls night in, with vodka and scary movies were trumped by a food bank run.
Whilst doing all that good she had also come to realise bad her friends did. Even if that bad was to combat evil. She wondered rather selfishly if God, Allah, Vishnu , the universe or whatever (Abby did not even discriminate when it came to a higher power) would notice all that she was doing, and maybe protect the team. But despite her hard good work, it did not stop that paralysing fear when Gibbs called her phone from the field, though she found it served as a decent distraction. Pacifying her for the time being.
"Abby," Simon finally said after nearly half an hour of silence. His voice broke her thoughts. She pulled over, and found she had driven all the way back to her apartment on autopilot. "I'm" Abby's hand covered his mouth. She shook her head.
"The people I help they want me." Abby said.
Simon was speechless for a second. He understood now. Abby just wanted to be wanted. That was why she acted to childishly and sought affection from those who she loved. Simon began to realise, he wanted to get to know Abby and all her eccentricities. He slowly teased Abby's hand off of his mouth by kissing it. She giggled and finally released her hand from his lips.
"I want you." Simon said. Abby turned off the ignition. "I want to get to know you."
Abby looked back at him, and found herself conflicted. She knew he would most probably leave like every guy did and she would get hurt, but he wanted her. She just wanted to be wanted. To be loved. To be cherished. She smiled and leaned forward to kiss him. He wanted her and she wanted him.
A/N: I'm not saying that all people who do charity work had ulterior motives but Abby does desperately want to be wanted, and it seems she is using charity work to get that feeling.