Hi all. Ok, this is my first Star Trek fanfic, so please be gentle. I
have been watching the Next Generation since it came out, I was three I
think. As I reviewed it all in my teens, I always felt two strong
connections between people, one with Riker and Troi, and another between
Picard and Crusher. Riker and Troi were almost a foregone conclusion,
especially after First Contact and Nemesis closed all doors, but what about
the Capt. and the doc? In Nemesis it is said that Beverly Crusher is
headed back to Earth to work directly with Starfleet medical. I thought
that, if that happened, we really needed to tie up or continue that line
between the two of them, and this is my idea. I hope you like it, and
please leave me a review, you have NO IDEA how much that inspires me to
keep writing.
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN STAR TREK OR ANYTHING ASSOCIATED WITH IT, I ONLY LOVE TO WATCH AND READ ABOUT IT. STAR TREK WAS INVENTED BY THE GREAT BIRD OF THE GALAXY, GENE RODDENBERRY AND IS OWNED BY PARAMOUNT STUDIOS(at least I think so, I didn't really look up all the stock holders, so please don't sue me).
'indicates thought'
Beverly Crusher, Chief Medical Officer for the USS ENTERPRISE, was packing up her office. This was her last day on this ship, as a member of the crew. It had been over a month since their volatile encounter with Shin'zhon and the Romulan Star Empire. The ENTERPRISE would be ready to leave space dock in another week, and its new crew was intact and ready, for the most part. Will and Deanna had already left for the TITAN, on their way back into Romulan space as a peace envoy. 'Captain Riker. He's had that coming a long time.' Geordi LaForge, former Chief Engineer, had now been promoted to Commander and was the new first officer under Picard. 'He's gonna be taking every chance to head down to engineering, I almost feel sorry for his replacement, whoever that will be. Please, anyone but Reginald Barclay, I don't know if he can survive without Deanna's shoulder to cry on.' B4, the lamented Data's older and not so advanced brother, was staying with Geordi, according to Data's wishes. Each day he seemed more and more like Data, Data's personality, through the experiences he loaded into B4's head, was slowly asserting itself. The only person she was truly worried about was the one person she would miss most, Captain Jean-Luc Picard. He had lost his first officer, counselor, second officer, met a younger clone of himself, killed said clone, rammed his ship into a Romulan weapon, barely escaped the entire mess with his life, and now she was abandoning him too. 'Watch it, Bev, he's a big boy, he can look after himself, and you have a promotion and a nice comfy position waiting for you, nothing is keeping you here anymore.' With Wes gone and almost all her friends moving on, there should have been no hesitation, nothing holding her. 'But something IS holding you, and you know it.' Shaking her head, she shoved the last personal item in her office, an old picture of Wesley, into her bag and shut it, finally done. 'Time to go.'
Beverly was nothing if not prepared, her luggage was already in her new apartment in San Francisco, all she needed was the satchel in her hand and to say goodbye to her last friends on this ship before she was gone for good. Slinging the satchel over her shoulder she walked out into her sickbay and over to Alyssa Ogowa, her friend and replacement. "Take good care of them, Alyssa." She pulled Alyssa into a friendly hug, much like many shared over the years, but more and less somehow.
Alyssa pulled away first, smiling through tears at her friend and confidant. "Go give 'em hell, Doctor."
With one more goodbye and a smile, Beverly walked out of sickbay, heading for the bridge. Stepping onto the bridge, it was like the first time. She looked around and saw so many unfamiliar faces and only one she really knew, but it was not the face she was really looking for. Geordi LaForge rose from the captain's chair and walked around the bridge to meet her, a bittersweet smile on his dark face.
"Doc, I was hoping you would be around."
"Just saying good bye, Geordi, having one last look around." Beverly Crusher's gaze swept the bridge, taking it all in, but looking for one person in particular, a fact not lost on LaForge.
"I haven't seen him all morning, Doc. He's not in his ready room either, I already tried that. Something must have come up."
She kept her face stable, not betraying what was going through her mind. 'My last day, and he's no where to be seen. Why is it always that way, Jean-Luc? Always duty, or responsibility or protocol. Well, I guess that sums up how important our friendship, or anything else we might ever have had, was to you.' Rallying herself, she smiled weakly at Geordi. "It's ok, Geordi, he is the captain, his first duty and all that. You take care of yourself, and keep half an eye on him, you hear me?"
He grinned in response, "I'm blind, not deaf, Doc. I'll take care, and I'll use both eyes."
Reassured, but knowing that if she spent one more minute on the bridge she would lose it, she bid him farewell and stepped back into the turbo lift, heading to transporter room one, her last stop on this ship. Beverly took her time, walking down the familiar corridors, almost imprinting each step into her memory. This ship had been her home for years, its predecessor was her home for seven years before that. There were a lot of memories in this hull, and she vowed silently never to forget. With a deep breath, she straightened her shoulders and set her jaw, stepping into transporter room one.
"Jean-Luc?"
Behind the transporter console stood Captain Jean-Luc Picard, the one person she cared for most on that ship, and the one thing that could possibly make her change her mind.
"Beverly. You did not think I would let you go without a goodbye did you?"
'Of course, he only came to say goodbye. What else were you looking for, Bev? Let me rephrase, what else were you looking for in the realm of possibility?' With a quiet sigh and a slightly forced smile, she walked on into the chamber, the doors sliding shut behind her. "You are the captain, if duties had called you, I would not have held it against you, not for this kind of thing." 'Liar.'
Picard stepped around the console, a smile lightening his features. "Nothing short of a Borg invasion could keep me from seeing my best friend off to her new assignment." Mentally, Picard was kicking himself. 'Ask her to stay, you know you want her to, this ship will be so empty without her. Go on you ass, tell her how you feel, before it's too late!' Clenching his jaw slightly, he kept his peace. After all he had done, hurt her enough, Vash and Anij the more visible in memory. 'Better to let her move on, even if I never will.'
A single tear fell down Beverly's face as she looked around the transporter room, seemingly thinking, but really looking anywhere but at him. "I will miss this place, so many memories here." A shudder passed through her shoulders.
Walking around to her, he enfolded her in a hug, totally on instinct, and once there he was so very reluctant to release her. 'God, I am losing her, really losing her. She feels so good just here. If only I hadn't been so stupid.' Closing his eyes he inhaled deeply, smelling her light perfume, the shampoo she used, burning it into his memory.
Her head resting for a moment on Jean-Luc's shoulder, Beverly relaxed against him. In that split moment, all was right with her world. 'If only he meant this as more than a friend, at one point we both wanted that, but I let it go for too long. Oh, Dear Lord, I am going to miss him.' She memorized the feel of him, his strong arms, steady breathing, faint noise of his artificial heart, all of it, it had to last her for a long time.
They stepped away at the same time, both feigning companionable smiles, both wanting to say more, but neither saying anything. She picked up her bag and took her place on the platform as he walked behind the console. They exchanged one last, long look and before either one could really gather themselves, she nodded to him. His fingers automatically danced over the controls, beaming her down just in front of Starfleet Medical. Beverly looked up at the sky, as if se could somehow see him still, standing right where he had been. 'Goodbye, Jean-Luc. I hope we meet again.' Another tear streaked down her face as she turned and entered her new offices, walking away from the ENTERPRISE at last.
Back in the transporter room, a man named Jean-Luc Picard braced his arms against the console in front of him and hung his head. A man, not a captain or an officer, took a deep shuddering breath, steadying himself. Tapping his comm. badge, he informed his first officer, in a surprisingly steady voice, that he had the conn for several hours. Picard walked down to his quarters, strong and steady in the corridors, maintaining his façade in front of the crew. Once inside, however, his shoulders slumped and he walked over to his couch, laying down upon it, his left arm thrown over his eyes. 'Oh, Beverly. How could I have been so blind all these years?'
Above the ship, in a slightly different dimensional plane, two beings stood together.
"Wes, I hate to say it, but I really think Picard has her beat in the stupidity department."
The younger of the two individuals, if more mature, shot a glance at his unwanted companion. "Why are you here, Q? The Traveler allowed me to see this because it is a focal point in their lives, why are you here? To cause trouble?"
"Unfortunately, no. I was just going to pay a visit to Jean-Luc, but instead I observed this. Even after all this time, even I thought he could learn, SOMETHING."
"You never helped, Q. Especially that time in Sherwood forest and Vash."
Q winced. "It was an object lesson for him, I didn't really WANT him to go after her!"
Wesley Crusher shot a glare at Q. "Well, you managed. And now even I have to wait to see how this turns out, the Traveler will not allow me to see the outcome. I just hope they both get some sense, before it gets too late for either of them. I don't want the two most important people in my live to die alone." With that, Wesley vanished, to train and wait for the ending. Q, on the other hand, stood a bit, thinking over Wes's words and how he owed Picard a favor. 'No, he would never get over it, and she would try and kill me, probably sic that Betazoid Ambassador on me. No, this is theirs to do, so lets see how your race excels at this, Picard.' Snapping his fingers, Q vanished, waiting impatiently for the silly humans to get their acts together.
As months rolled by, the ENTERPRISE was sent out again, exploring the reaches of the Federation. Picard and Crusher lost touch after a while, duties and distance taking their tolls. After a year, both missed the other tremendously, but pride, stubbornness, hurt, and the want to prevent more pain all came together and neither tried to contact the other, feeling that if they wanted to talk, they would call first. Neither did. And so another year rolled by in silence, each missing the other more and not knowing what trick of fate would draw them back together.
CHAPTER ONE: REUNIONS AND REALIZATIONS
Admiral Jean-Luc Picard, former captain of the USS ENTERPRISE beamed down in front of Starfleet Academy. He had no real regrets about leaving the ENTERPRISE, she would be in good hands, Captain Will Riker would see to that. Commander Geordi LaForge and he had demonstrated an excellent understanding of each other and teamwork that was truly surprising. The only other team with which he could immediately recall having that kind of ability to play off each other was Riker and himself. The ENTERPRISE deserved such a crew. Walking into the academy, Picard headed for his new offices. 'Commandant. I'm still a commanding officer, but of children. Perhaps, with sufficient inducement, Starfleet will get some more worthy officers out, if they can take it.' Picard finally entered and inspected his office, rearranging it to his personal standards. Glancing out his window, he saw Starfleet Medical and the old adage 'so near yet so far' rang in his head.
Little did Picard know that fate, with a little boost from Q, was about to show him just how near he really was. While his back was to his desk his computer flashed briefly, a change to his schedule altering the time he was to leave that night. Across the way, in another office whose occupant was looking out the window as well, having the same thoughts, a schedule was changed as well, to a time off by only minutes to the first one. Q hovered between the buildings, invisible to everyone but another Q. 'That should help things along. Fate moves too slow, and that transit time I included should be just about perfect...maybe this time, they will get it right.' With a flash he was gone again, content to wait out the results now. Either way, his part was done.
Beverly Crusher walked out of Starfleet Medical HQ a little later than she had expected that day. Scheduling problems. It was only a little over a mile to her apartment, and she much preferred the relative solitude a walk afforded to the inevitable crowds at the public transporter station. Taking a shortcut through the academy, she barely noticed anyone as she passed by the central building of the grounds, the one that housed all the personnel. She would have stayed that way, had she not seen a very familiar face, one she had not seen in over a year and had missed greatly, exit the building, not five feet away from her.
"Jean-Luc?"
The voice he had missed so much in the past years floated to him, turning him quickly to see the source. To him she had never looked lovelier, standing there, a smile gracing her face. 'A smile because of me? No, only to see an old friend, don't read more into it, Johnny.' Still, he smiled warmly in return, walking the few paces required to bring them face to face. "Beverly!"
"I had heard you were promoted, but I had no idea you were at the academy! So, you're the new commandant?"
Picard nodded, lowering his head a bit. "Someone had to do it, and after the TITAN blew up, Will was available. He always wanted her, and she couldn't have a better captain."
Beverly grinned, enthused. "Not to mention he and Deanna need the room. She's expecting!"
Eyes widening, Picard was astonished. "Indeed? I had no idea, Will never mentioned it when I offered the ship to him."
"He doesn't know yet, Deanna called me, asking for advice on how to tell him. Poor girl was so shaken, seems she forgot her shots. I wouldn't worry, you'll probably be hearing about it in a day or so, as soon as she tells him and he regains the ability to talk."
Nodding, Picard's mind finally kicked back into control after having seen her, fairly shouting at him. 'Idiot, you have her here again, DON'T YOU DARE LET THIS CHANCE GO BY TOO!' Summoning up more courage than he ever needed to face the Borg or Son' a, Picard took a deep breath and promptly did the first truly bright thing ha had done in two years. "Beverly, would you like to have dinner with me?"
Floored was possibly overstating the emotion that swept through Beverly Crusher, but surprised didn't quite do it justice. Take the average of the two, and you will come close to how she felt for a moment. 'Come on, dolt, he JUST ASKED YOU OUT FOR DINNER! It might be as a friend, but if there's a chance, don't you dare let things slide.' Beverly took a deep breath, bracing herself and finally taking a chance. "I would love to Jean-Luc. Have anything specific in mind?"
Jean-Luc Picard relaxed quickly, absently offering his arm to her as they began to walk towards her apartment and his just beyond. "Personally, I have heard wonderful things about this place called Sisko's."
Subtly slipping her arm through his, Beverly relaxed into the conversation, already anticipating dinner. "Yes, I've been there myself, wonderful food, and perfect atmosphere."
That night Joseph Sisko noticed one of his favorite customers, Beverly Crusher, entering the restaurant with someone new. Smiling slightly, he set them off in a darker corner, reading them both like books. Each had body language that said "romance" to him, even if their actions belied it. Figuring it would all work out in time, he went on his way with only a passing hello, leaving them to talk.
After dinner, they returned to Beverly's apartment, spending the remainder for the evening in pleasant conversation and catching up before Jean-Luc headed home for his own apartment sometime around midnight. Several weeks passed this way, after the first two incidental meetings they started to just expect to meet and have dinner. When one or the other was late, the one that arrived early just waited in the lobby of the academy until the other arrived.
One such occasion had Beverly concluding her meetings early and heading over to the Academy lobby to wait. She was early, about ten minutes before he would even be out, and had called Picard, informing him that she would be waiting for him. He told her he doubted that he could get out any earlier, but she didn't care. Entering the academy, she got a drink and sat down near a window, sipping at her coffee. Five minutes later, a loud noise filled the room as an explosion ripped through critical supports. Parts of the roof collapsed and buried the majority of the lobby in debris and rubble. It was the last thing she registered before she blacked out.
Picard felt and heard the rumble of the explosion, and something inside him tightened, filling him with a sense of urgency. He cut off his meeting instantly, and headed for the door, never mind that he had just cut Admiral Jellico off mid-sentence. Taking the turbo lift down to the ground floor and receiving an emergency communiqué en route.
The devastated academy lobby was easily seen, straight across the quad area. Taking a sharp breath, Picard began to sprint for it, quietly begging whatever deity that cared to listen for what he feared not to be true. Grabbing a tricorder from one of the emergency crews that had just beamed in, he began scanning for life signs, quickly locating around two dozen in the rubble, ranging from strong to faint. Heading for the nearest location, he started digging, pulling away debris like a man possessed. The emergency crews, declaring the remaining structure too unstable to just beam the trapped people out, joined him in seconds. Two young cadets were quickly unearthed and put on stretchers, pulled out and beamed to a triage center set up in Starfleet Medical. Picard and the team quickly swept forward, finding one person after another. Inside a half hour Picard had found four cadets and one instructor, but not the one person he was terrified he would find under the rock and plaster. With the help of another emergency worker, Picard heaved a large portion of ceiling off another trapped victim and stopped cold. Below him, still partially covered in dust and crushed stone was Beverly Crusher, unconscious, life signs faint, with a nasty looking laceration across her forehead and right cheek, red blood matting in her red hair, bruises covering her face and neck.
"MEDIC!"
A nurse was by his side as if by magic as he kneeled next to her, tentatively reaching a hand out for her as the diagnosis was read off. "Skull fracture, broken rib, blood loss, she's in shock." The nurse looked around at the room, assessing it. "She needs out of here now, this might not last much longer. We can move her, but quickly, she needs emergency treatment for that head wound and blood loss."
Nearly ripping his uniform jacket off, Picard placed it over her, picking her up as if she might break by the slightest touch. He turned, heading rapidly but carefully for the door, doing his best not to jostle her in any way he could avoid. As he exited, a trauma team headed for him, bringing a stretcher. Gently placing her on it, he heard the doctor pronounce her condition as critical and requested an emergency beam out.
"Admiral, step back please."
Before he knew what he was really saying, his heart finally stepped in and did something smart. "No, I'm going with her." The doctor did not waste time arguing, just ordered two beamed directly to the critical status room in Starfleet Medical.
Six hours later Picard was waiting anxiously outside the main sickbay where they were operating on Beverly Crusher. They bad been in there for hours now, no one was telling him a damn thing. 'Damn to hell whoever set up Starfleet where the medical staff outranks the command staff.' Finally the doctor emerged, looking a little tired, but not distressed. 'A good sign.' "Doctor?"
"She's gonna be fine. It was touch and go for a while, she was in deep shock when we got her in there, but she came out of it fine. Must be a strong, stubborn woman."
Picard nearly slumped at the news, a sigh of relief escaping him. "You have no idea."
"She's sleeping now, resting comfortably, I want to beam her to her quarters, we need the beds, but I don't want her to be alone when she comes to, she is gonna have one hell of a headache."
The implied thought was clear, and frankly, Picard was not going to turn down an excuse to be there for her, conscious or not. "I'll take care of it, doctor."
As she regained consciousness, Beverly Crusher was aware of several things. First, she was in a comfortable bed that had to be hers. Second, he head was trying to split open. Third, there was a bandage on her forehead. Finally, there was something warm and firm pressing on her right hand. Deciding to take a risk, she cautiously cracked her eyes open, remembering the explosion slowly as she came fully awake. Beverly glanced over to see a hand holding hers.
The hand was attached to an arm which was attached to a very familiar admiral. His face looked a bit haggard, a days growth of stubble on his chin. Dark circles had formed under his eyes, indicating he had just fallen asleep an hour ago at most. In his sleep his hand tightened momentarily on hers, as if to reassure himself that she was there. His uniform was covered in dust that she just knew he had gotten in while looking for her. He was filthy, tired, and looked worried, even in sleep, and he had never looked better. Obviously he had been there all night, there was not enough dust anywhere else except for the chair for him to have moved around much. Realizing that it was his right hand holding hers, she glanced up to where his left arm was on the bed and found his fingers in the edges of her hair. 'He must have been stroking my hair when he dosed off.' The thought made her smile and she slowly started to rise, wanting to clean up and change, feel a little more human, and find a REALLY strong pain killer for her head.
Movement under his hands woke Picard with a start. His gray eyes snapped open and clashed with blue. Both froze for a moment, startled and half scared to shatter the moment that had somehow occurred. One hand tightened on hers as the other absently stroked her hair, so lightly, almost afraid of hurting her. Slowly, he leaned farther over her as if drawn. "How do you feel?"
For once, words failed Beverly. He was so close, so caring. In a flash of insight, she realized that she loved him, maybe more than she had even loved Jack. Jean-Luc had always been there for her, always, and she had been the one to leave him, not the other way around. She had known he loved her, ever since that occasion when their minds had been linked. Knowing that fact gave her courage now as she did one of the most daring things in her life.
Her hand left his and Jean-Luc felt his heart drop. 'I overstepped, I should have moved when she woke up, but she looked so beautiful, I couldn't jus-.' His thought stopped instantly when her now free hand went behind his neck, pulling him down into a slow but passionate kiss. He froze for a second, almost pulling away in shock, but then his heart, if not his brain, kicked back in and he leaned farther over, leaning her back against the pillows as he braced himself over her, responding to her kiss with one of his own, filled with more affection and passion than he had expressed to anyone. After only a couple, short minutes they separated, lips hovering inches away, eyes locked onto each other's.
Startled realization ran through the eyes of both and recognition of the emotions that were crashing in both was there competing for room. Words were not needed as she sat up and moved over in the bed and he took a seat where she had been, sitting straight as he always did, back pressed against the headboard. She rested her head on his shoulder, leaning against him as one of his arms encircled her shoulders. Curling against him, she whispered to him quietly. "Jean-Luc?"
"Yes, Bev?"
"Why did this take us so long?"
"We were not ready, or were not ready at the same time. Either I was with someone or you were. I think it can be chalked up to stupidity, on my part mostly. If I had just seen what I had."
Beverly cut him off, pressing against his side. "I was just as stupid, just as blind. Poor Deanna, she kept trying to put us together, but I was just too stubborn."
Picard shushed her, his head drooping down to rest on hers, nuzzling her hair. "It's past, what is important is the present, and I don't intend to waste another day. Now, rest, you were hurt badly, and you need it, if we are going out to dinner tomorrow."
Smiling, she laid her head back against him, quickly soothed to sleep by his presence, his steady breathing and warm arm, the sound of his mechanical heart, and the knowledge that both their hearts were together now, and that they would face the future together, one day at a time.
***What did you think? If I get enough people asking me to, I will make this chapter one of a longer story, so PLEASE Read and REVIEW!!**
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN STAR TREK OR ANYTHING ASSOCIATED WITH IT, I ONLY LOVE TO WATCH AND READ ABOUT IT. STAR TREK WAS INVENTED BY THE GREAT BIRD OF THE GALAXY, GENE RODDENBERRY AND IS OWNED BY PARAMOUNT STUDIOS(at least I think so, I didn't really look up all the stock holders, so please don't sue me).
'indicates thought'
Beverly Crusher, Chief Medical Officer for the USS ENTERPRISE, was packing up her office. This was her last day on this ship, as a member of the crew. It had been over a month since their volatile encounter with Shin'zhon and the Romulan Star Empire. The ENTERPRISE would be ready to leave space dock in another week, and its new crew was intact and ready, for the most part. Will and Deanna had already left for the TITAN, on their way back into Romulan space as a peace envoy. 'Captain Riker. He's had that coming a long time.' Geordi LaForge, former Chief Engineer, had now been promoted to Commander and was the new first officer under Picard. 'He's gonna be taking every chance to head down to engineering, I almost feel sorry for his replacement, whoever that will be. Please, anyone but Reginald Barclay, I don't know if he can survive without Deanna's shoulder to cry on.' B4, the lamented Data's older and not so advanced brother, was staying with Geordi, according to Data's wishes. Each day he seemed more and more like Data, Data's personality, through the experiences he loaded into B4's head, was slowly asserting itself. The only person she was truly worried about was the one person she would miss most, Captain Jean-Luc Picard. He had lost his first officer, counselor, second officer, met a younger clone of himself, killed said clone, rammed his ship into a Romulan weapon, barely escaped the entire mess with his life, and now she was abandoning him too. 'Watch it, Bev, he's a big boy, he can look after himself, and you have a promotion and a nice comfy position waiting for you, nothing is keeping you here anymore.' With Wes gone and almost all her friends moving on, there should have been no hesitation, nothing holding her. 'But something IS holding you, and you know it.' Shaking her head, she shoved the last personal item in her office, an old picture of Wesley, into her bag and shut it, finally done. 'Time to go.'
Beverly was nothing if not prepared, her luggage was already in her new apartment in San Francisco, all she needed was the satchel in her hand and to say goodbye to her last friends on this ship before she was gone for good. Slinging the satchel over her shoulder she walked out into her sickbay and over to Alyssa Ogowa, her friend and replacement. "Take good care of them, Alyssa." She pulled Alyssa into a friendly hug, much like many shared over the years, but more and less somehow.
Alyssa pulled away first, smiling through tears at her friend and confidant. "Go give 'em hell, Doctor."
With one more goodbye and a smile, Beverly walked out of sickbay, heading for the bridge. Stepping onto the bridge, it was like the first time. She looked around and saw so many unfamiliar faces and only one she really knew, but it was not the face she was really looking for. Geordi LaForge rose from the captain's chair and walked around the bridge to meet her, a bittersweet smile on his dark face.
"Doc, I was hoping you would be around."
"Just saying good bye, Geordi, having one last look around." Beverly Crusher's gaze swept the bridge, taking it all in, but looking for one person in particular, a fact not lost on LaForge.
"I haven't seen him all morning, Doc. He's not in his ready room either, I already tried that. Something must have come up."
She kept her face stable, not betraying what was going through her mind. 'My last day, and he's no where to be seen. Why is it always that way, Jean-Luc? Always duty, or responsibility or protocol. Well, I guess that sums up how important our friendship, or anything else we might ever have had, was to you.' Rallying herself, she smiled weakly at Geordi. "It's ok, Geordi, he is the captain, his first duty and all that. You take care of yourself, and keep half an eye on him, you hear me?"
He grinned in response, "I'm blind, not deaf, Doc. I'll take care, and I'll use both eyes."
Reassured, but knowing that if she spent one more minute on the bridge she would lose it, she bid him farewell and stepped back into the turbo lift, heading to transporter room one, her last stop on this ship. Beverly took her time, walking down the familiar corridors, almost imprinting each step into her memory. This ship had been her home for years, its predecessor was her home for seven years before that. There were a lot of memories in this hull, and she vowed silently never to forget. With a deep breath, she straightened her shoulders and set her jaw, stepping into transporter room one.
"Jean-Luc?"
Behind the transporter console stood Captain Jean-Luc Picard, the one person she cared for most on that ship, and the one thing that could possibly make her change her mind.
"Beverly. You did not think I would let you go without a goodbye did you?"
'Of course, he only came to say goodbye. What else were you looking for, Bev? Let me rephrase, what else were you looking for in the realm of possibility?' With a quiet sigh and a slightly forced smile, she walked on into the chamber, the doors sliding shut behind her. "You are the captain, if duties had called you, I would not have held it against you, not for this kind of thing." 'Liar.'
Picard stepped around the console, a smile lightening his features. "Nothing short of a Borg invasion could keep me from seeing my best friend off to her new assignment." Mentally, Picard was kicking himself. 'Ask her to stay, you know you want her to, this ship will be so empty without her. Go on you ass, tell her how you feel, before it's too late!' Clenching his jaw slightly, he kept his peace. After all he had done, hurt her enough, Vash and Anij the more visible in memory. 'Better to let her move on, even if I never will.'
A single tear fell down Beverly's face as she looked around the transporter room, seemingly thinking, but really looking anywhere but at him. "I will miss this place, so many memories here." A shudder passed through her shoulders.
Walking around to her, he enfolded her in a hug, totally on instinct, and once there he was so very reluctant to release her. 'God, I am losing her, really losing her. She feels so good just here. If only I hadn't been so stupid.' Closing his eyes he inhaled deeply, smelling her light perfume, the shampoo she used, burning it into his memory.
Her head resting for a moment on Jean-Luc's shoulder, Beverly relaxed against him. In that split moment, all was right with her world. 'If only he meant this as more than a friend, at one point we both wanted that, but I let it go for too long. Oh, Dear Lord, I am going to miss him.' She memorized the feel of him, his strong arms, steady breathing, faint noise of his artificial heart, all of it, it had to last her for a long time.
They stepped away at the same time, both feigning companionable smiles, both wanting to say more, but neither saying anything. She picked up her bag and took her place on the platform as he walked behind the console. They exchanged one last, long look and before either one could really gather themselves, she nodded to him. His fingers automatically danced over the controls, beaming her down just in front of Starfleet Medical. Beverly looked up at the sky, as if se could somehow see him still, standing right where he had been. 'Goodbye, Jean-Luc. I hope we meet again.' Another tear streaked down her face as she turned and entered her new offices, walking away from the ENTERPRISE at last.
Back in the transporter room, a man named Jean-Luc Picard braced his arms against the console in front of him and hung his head. A man, not a captain or an officer, took a deep shuddering breath, steadying himself. Tapping his comm. badge, he informed his first officer, in a surprisingly steady voice, that he had the conn for several hours. Picard walked down to his quarters, strong and steady in the corridors, maintaining his façade in front of the crew. Once inside, however, his shoulders slumped and he walked over to his couch, laying down upon it, his left arm thrown over his eyes. 'Oh, Beverly. How could I have been so blind all these years?'
Above the ship, in a slightly different dimensional plane, two beings stood together.
"Wes, I hate to say it, but I really think Picard has her beat in the stupidity department."
The younger of the two individuals, if more mature, shot a glance at his unwanted companion. "Why are you here, Q? The Traveler allowed me to see this because it is a focal point in their lives, why are you here? To cause trouble?"
"Unfortunately, no. I was just going to pay a visit to Jean-Luc, but instead I observed this. Even after all this time, even I thought he could learn, SOMETHING."
"You never helped, Q. Especially that time in Sherwood forest and Vash."
Q winced. "It was an object lesson for him, I didn't really WANT him to go after her!"
Wesley Crusher shot a glare at Q. "Well, you managed. And now even I have to wait to see how this turns out, the Traveler will not allow me to see the outcome. I just hope they both get some sense, before it gets too late for either of them. I don't want the two most important people in my live to die alone." With that, Wesley vanished, to train and wait for the ending. Q, on the other hand, stood a bit, thinking over Wes's words and how he owed Picard a favor. 'No, he would never get over it, and she would try and kill me, probably sic that Betazoid Ambassador on me. No, this is theirs to do, so lets see how your race excels at this, Picard.' Snapping his fingers, Q vanished, waiting impatiently for the silly humans to get their acts together.
As months rolled by, the ENTERPRISE was sent out again, exploring the reaches of the Federation. Picard and Crusher lost touch after a while, duties and distance taking their tolls. After a year, both missed the other tremendously, but pride, stubbornness, hurt, and the want to prevent more pain all came together and neither tried to contact the other, feeling that if they wanted to talk, they would call first. Neither did. And so another year rolled by in silence, each missing the other more and not knowing what trick of fate would draw them back together.
CHAPTER ONE: REUNIONS AND REALIZATIONS
Admiral Jean-Luc Picard, former captain of the USS ENTERPRISE beamed down in front of Starfleet Academy. He had no real regrets about leaving the ENTERPRISE, she would be in good hands, Captain Will Riker would see to that. Commander Geordi LaForge and he had demonstrated an excellent understanding of each other and teamwork that was truly surprising. The only other team with which he could immediately recall having that kind of ability to play off each other was Riker and himself. The ENTERPRISE deserved such a crew. Walking into the academy, Picard headed for his new offices. 'Commandant. I'm still a commanding officer, but of children. Perhaps, with sufficient inducement, Starfleet will get some more worthy officers out, if they can take it.' Picard finally entered and inspected his office, rearranging it to his personal standards. Glancing out his window, he saw Starfleet Medical and the old adage 'so near yet so far' rang in his head.
Little did Picard know that fate, with a little boost from Q, was about to show him just how near he really was. While his back was to his desk his computer flashed briefly, a change to his schedule altering the time he was to leave that night. Across the way, in another office whose occupant was looking out the window as well, having the same thoughts, a schedule was changed as well, to a time off by only minutes to the first one. Q hovered between the buildings, invisible to everyone but another Q. 'That should help things along. Fate moves too slow, and that transit time I included should be just about perfect...maybe this time, they will get it right.' With a flash he was gone again, content to wait out the results now. Either way, his part was done.
Beverly Crusher walked out of Starfleet Medical HQ a little later than she had expected that day. Scheduling problems. It was only a little over a mile to her apartment, and she much preferred the relative solitude a walk afforded to the inevitable crowds at the public transporter station. Taking a shortcut through the academy, she barely noticed anyone as she passed by the central building of the grounds, the one that housed all the personnel. She would have stayed that way, had she not seen a very familiar face, one she had not seen in over a year and had missed greatly, exit the building, not five feet away from her.
"Jean-Luc?"
The voice he had missed so much in the past years floated to him, turning him quickly to see the source. To him she had never looked lovelier, standing there, a smile gracing her face. 'A smile because of me? No, only to see an old friend, don't read more into it, Johnny.' Still, he smiled warmly in return, walking the few paces required to bring them face to face. "Beverly!"
"I had heard you were promoted, but I had no idea you were at the academy! So, you're the new commandant?"
Picard nodded, lowering his head a bit. "Someone had to do it, and after the TITAN blew up, Will was available. He always wanted her, and she couldn't have a better captain."
Beverly grinned, enthused. "Not to mention he and Deanna need the room. She's expecting!"
Eyes widening, Picard was astonished. "Indeed? I had no idea, Will never mentioned it when I offered the ship to him."
"He doesn't know yet, Deanna called me, asking for advice on how to tell him. Poor girl was so shaken, seems she forgot her shots. I wouldn't worry, you'll probably be hearing about it in a day or so, as soon as she tells him and he regains the ability to talk."
Nodding, Picard's mind finally kicked back into control after having seen her, fairly shouting at him. 'Idiot, you have her here again, DON'T YOU DARE LET THIS CHANCE GO BY TOO!' Summoning up more courage than he ever needed to face the Borg or Son' a, Picard took a deep breath and promptly did the first truly bright thing ha had done in two years. "Beverly, would you like to have dinner with me?"
Floored was possibly overstating the emotion that swept through Beverly Crusher, but surprised didn't quite do it justice. Take the average of the two, and you will come close to how she felt for a moment. 'Come on, dolt, he JUST ASKED YOU OUT FOR DINNER! It might be as a friend, but if there's a chance, don't you dare let things slide.' Beverly took a deep breath, bracing herself and finally taking a chance. "I would love to Jean-Luc. Have anything specific in mind?"
Jean-Luc Picard relaxed quickly, absently offering his arm to her as they began to walk towards her apartment and his just beyond. "Personally, I have heard wonderful things about this place called Sisko's."
Subtly slipping her arm through his, Beverly relaxed into the conversation, already anticipating dinner. "Yes, I've been there myself, wonderful food, and perfect atmosphere."
That night Joseph Sisko noticed one of his favorite customers, Beverly Crusher, entering the restaurant with someone new. Smiling slightly, he set them off in a darker corner, reading them both like books. Each had body language that said "romance" to him, even if their actions belied it. Figuring it would all work out in time, he went on his way with only a passing hello, leaving them to talk.
After dinner, they returned to Beverly's apartment, spending the remainder for the evening in pleasant conversation and catching up before Jean-Luc headed home for his own apartment sometime around midnight. Several weeks passed this way, after the first two incidental meetings they started to just expect to meet and have dinner. When one or the other was late, the one that arrived early just waited in the lobby of the academy until the other arrived.
One such occasion had Beverly concluding her meetings early and heading over to the Academy lobby to wait. She was early, about ten minutes before he would even be out, and had called Picard, informing him that she would be waiting for him. He told her he doubted that he could get out any earlier, but she didn't care. Entering the academy, she got a drink and sat down near a window, sipping at her coffee. Five minutes later, a loud noise filled the room as an explosion ripped through critical supports. Parts of the roof collapsed and buried the majority of the lobby in debris and rubble. It was the last thing she registered before she blacked out.
Picard felt and heard the rumble of the explosion, and something inside him tightened, filling him with a sense of urgency. He cut off his meeting instantly, and headed for the door, never mind that he had just cut Admiral Jellico off mid-sentence. Taking the turbo lift down to the ground floor and receiving an emergency communiqué en route.
The devastated academy lobby was easily seen, straight across the quad area. Taking a sharp breath, Picard began to sprint for it, quietly begging whatever deity that cared to listen for what he feared not to be true. Grabbing a tricorder from one of the emergency crews that had just beamed in, he began scanning for life signs, quickly locating around two dozen in the rubble, ranging from strong to faint. Heading for the nearest location, he started digging, pulling away debris like a man possessed. The emergency crews, declaring the remaining structure too unstable to just beam the trapped people out, joined him in seconds. Two young cadets were quickly unearthed and put on stretchers, pulled out and beamed to a triage center set up in Starfleet Medical. Picard and the team quickly swept forward, finding one person after another. Inside a half hour Picard had found four cadets and one instructor, but not the one person he was terrified he would find under the rock and plaster. With the help of another emergency worker, Picard heaved a large portion of ceiling off another trapped victim and stopped cold. Below him, still partially covered in dust and crushed stone was Beverly Crusher, unconscious, life signs faint, with a nasty looking laceration across her forehead and right cheek, red blood matting in her red hair, bruises covering her face and neck.
"MEDIC!"
A nurse was by his side as if by magic as he kneeled next to her, tentatively reaching a hand out for her as the diagnosis was read off. "Skull fracture, broken rib, blood loss, she's in shock." The nurse looked around at the room, assessing it. "She needs out of here now, this might not last much longer. We can move her, but quickly, she needs emergency treatment for that head wound and blood loss."
Nearly ripping his uniform jacket off, Picard placed it over her, picking her up as if she might break by the slightest touch. He turned, heading rapidly but carefully for the door, doing his best not to jostle her in any way he could avoid. As he exited, a trauma team headed for him, bringing a stretcher. Gently placing her on it, he heard the doctor pronounce her condition as critical and requested an emergency beam out.
"Admiral, step back please."
Before he knew what he was really saying, his heart finally stepped in and did something smart. "No, I'm going with her." The doctor did not waste time arguing, just ordered two beamed directly to the critical status room in Starfleet Medical.
Six hours later Picard was waiting anxiously outside the main sickbay where they were operating on Beverly Crusher. They bad been in there for hours now, no one was telling him a damn thing. 'Damn to hell whoever set up Starfleet where the medical staff outranks the command staff.' Finally the doctor emerged, looking a little tired, but not distressed. 'A good sign.' "Doctor?"
"She's gonna be fine. It was touch and go for a while, she was in deep shock when we got her in there, but she came out of it fine. Must be a strong, stubborn woman."
Picard nearly slumped at the news, a sigh of relief escaping him. "You have no idea."
"She's sleeping now, resting comfortably, I want to beam her to her quarters, we need the beds, but I don't want her to be alone when she comes to, she is gonna have one hell of a headache."
The implied thought was clear, and frankly, Picard was not going to turn down an excuse to be there for her, conscious or not. "I'll take care of it, doctor."
As she regained consciousness, Beverly Crusher was aware of several things. First, she was in a comfortable bed that had to be hers. Second, he head was trying to split open. Third, there was a bandage on her forehead. Finally, there was something warm and firm pressing on her right hand. Deciding to take a risk, she cautiously cracked her eyes open, remembering the explosion slowly as she came fully awake. Beverly glanced over to see a hand holding hers.
The hand was attached to an arm which was attached to a very familiar admiral. His face looked a bit haggard, a days growth of stubble on his chin. Dark circles had formed under his eyes, indicating he had just fallen asleep an hour ago at most. In his sleep his hand tightened momentarily on hers, as if to reassure himself that she was there. His uniform was covered in dust that she just knew he had gotten in while looking for her. He was filthy, tired, and looked worried, even in sleep, and he had never looked better. Obviously he had been there all night, there was not enough dust anywhere else except for the chair for him to have moved around much. Realizing that it was his right hand holding hers, she glanced up to where his left arm was on the bed and found his fingers in the edges of her hair. 'He must have been stroking my hair when he dosed off.' The thought made her smile and she slowly started to rise, wanting to clean up and change, feel a little more human, and find a REALLY strong pain killer for her head.
Movement under his hands woke Picard with a start. His gray eyes snapped open and clashed with blue. Both froze for a moment, startled and half scared to shatter the moment that had somehow occurred. One hand tightened on hers as the other absently stroked her hair, so lightly, almost afraid of hurting her. Slowly, he leaned farther over her as if drawn. "How do you feel?"
For once, words failed Beverly. He was so close, so caring. In a flash of insight, she realized that she loved him, maybe more than she had even loved Jack. Jean-Luc had always been there for her, always, and she had been the one to leave him, not the other way around. She had known he loved her, ever since that occasion when their minds had been linked. Knowing that fact gave her courage now as she did one of the most daring things in her life.
Her hand left his and Jean-Luc felt his heart drop. 'I overstepped, I should have moved when she woke up, but she looked so beautiful, I couldn't jus-.' His thought stopped instantly when her now free hand went behind his neck, pulling him down into a slow but passionate kiss. He froze for a second, almost pulling away in shock, but then his heart, if not his brain, kicked back in and he leaned farther over, leaning her back against the pillows as he braced himself over her, responding to her kiss with one of his own, filled with more affection and passion than he had expressed to anyone. After only a couple, short minutes they separated, lips hovering inches away, eyes locked onto each other's.
Startled realization ran through the eyes of both and recognition of the emotions that were crashing in both was there competing for room. Words were not needed as she sat up and moved over in the bed and he took a seat where she had been, sitting straight as he always did, back pressed against the headboard. She rested her head on his shoulder, leaning against him as one of his arms encircled her shoulders. Curling against him, she whispered to him quietly. "Jean-Luc?"
"Yes, Bev?"
"Why did this take us so long?"
"We were not ready, or were not ready at the same time. Either I was with someone or you were. I think it can be chalked up to stupidity, on my part mostly. If I had just seen what I had."
Beverly cut him off, pressing against his side. "I was just as stupid, just as blind. Poor Deanna, she kept trying to put us together, but I was just too stubborn."
Picard shushed her, his head drooping down to rest on hers, nuzzling her hair. "It's past, what is important is the present, and I don't intend to waste another day. Now, rest, you were hurt badly, and you need it, if we are going out to dinner tomorrow."
Smiling, she laid her head back against him, quickly soothed to sleep by his presence, his steady breathing and warm arm, the sound of his mechanical heart, and the knowledge that both their hearts were together now, and that they would face the future together, one day at a time.
***What did you think? If I get enough people asking me to, I will make this chapter one of a longer story, so PLEASE Read and REVIEW!!**