AN: Written for the Strange Obsessions challenge by I. at HPFC. Draco has a strange obsession...

Draco was stood in the kitchen, fridge door wide open, head practically in the fridge. It was a curious thing to be doing at two in the afternoon, but this was Draco Malfoy.

"Master Draco?" A house elf waddled into the large kitchen, stopping dead when she saw the young Malfoy boy at the fridge. "Is there anything Petty can do for young master?"

Draco whipped round, caught red-handed. He was holding a blue and yellow tub, and one finger was halfway to his mouth, covered in something bright yellow. He stared at Petty incredulously for a moment, before his face lit up and he announced, "I can't believe it's not butter!"

Petty stared at Draco as if he was quite mad.

"Is everything alright, Master Draco?" she asked tentatively.

"Yes, yes, everything's fine!" Draco beamed gleefully, sticking his finger in his mouth and smiling with delight at the taste of the 'butter'.

"Only, Petty wonders, sir, what Master Draco is doing in the kitchens when it is usually Petty who makes young master his snacks, sir," Petty said.

"What? Oh, yes! Petty, go make me a sandwich and bring it up to my room," Draco demanded. Petty scurried off, quick to obey. "And use this!" He flung the tub of 'butter' at her. The house elf caught it just in time, and stared with her bulging eyes as Draco left the kitchen, muttering something along the lines of, "I can't believe it's not butter. I just can't! This is wonderful… wait until Father hears about this, he won't be able to believe it either…"

That night at Blaise's sleepover

"… so I look on the side of the tub, and guess what it says? It says, 'I can't believe it's not butter!' So of course I'm astonished, because it tastes exactly like butter, but the thing is – the clever thing is, it's not butter! Can you believe that? After all that, it wasn't even butter! And it looks like butter, and smells like butter, so a logical person like myself would, of course, think 'Oh, this must be butter! Whatever else can it be?'. But it's not butter! I'm pretty sure it's just as talented as butter, I don't want to sound like I'm choosing favourites because I'm not. But it's not butter! It just blew me away! Even though it tasted –"

"EXACTLY. LIKE. BUTTER. We get it," Blaise hissed through clenched teeth.

"Yeah. It did!" Draco grinned. "How do you know, have you had some?"

"No, and I don't want to!" Blaise sighed at Draco's heartbroken expression. "Draco, just give it a rest with the butter, all right –"

"It's not butter, it's like butter," Draco interrupted quietly.

"Whatever!" Blaise snapped. The other three boys in the room stirred – they'd fallen asleep halfway through Draco's butter speech. "It's getting on my nerves!"

Draco didn't say anything. He simply stared down at his hands sulkily, and the boys fell into an awkward silence. The ticking of the grandfather clock out in the hall was the only thing that could be heard.

Then – "Do you have any 'I Can't Believe –'"

"SHUT UP!"

About 3am

Mrs Zabini was walking past the kitchen on her way back from the bathroom. She rubbed her head – a headache was starting to come on. Just what she needed in the middle of the night. She had a potion in her room she could take, so she headed towards the stairs.

That's when she heard the voice, from the kitchen.

"Alright, I want an answer, and a definite one! Answer me yes or no, is that clear? Now, for the last time: are you butter or aren't you?"

Mrs Zabini froze. She strained her ears, but she could hear nothing more. Had she just imagined someone talking in her kitchen?

Oh, dear, her headache was getting worse. Shaking her head, she began to climb the stairs, forgetting all about the voice. It had been a long day.

AN: I think it's Sirius with sticky notes next... please review :)