Authors note:
This is Yuki and Kristen's crack stories from the deeps of their criminally insane minds.
Disclaimer: If we owned Naruto then people wouldn't have working eyes anymore.
Dedication:
Malia.
Taylor.
Charlee.
&
Marissa.
Warnings: We cannot be sued or blamed for blindness, choking, heart attacks, strokes, diabetes or cancer after reading our story. If you notice burning, itching and pink Sasuke-rashes… you'll die in the next 24 hours.
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One day Naruto was eating cud and then Sasuke walked up, as a cow.
"Hey, Naruto, what's up, baby?"
"What the hell?! Why are you a cow? You gots a utter!"
"I know, Sakura did this."
Naruto stared in horror for .5 seconds then offered some cud. The cow thanked him and put it in his utter for later.
The one who did this, Sakura, came by and grabbed Sasuke by his utter, SQUISH!
"Nooooooo! My Naruto-cud!"
Sakura took the cud and stared to eat it, but then Sasuke trampled her in a rage, just as Rock Lee walked by. Naruto was still eating his cud like a moron.
"NOOOOO!"
"What?" Sasuke asked as he licked blood off his hooves.
"You… got blood on your hooves! It's tragedy. But I got some burning bleach."
Sasuke looked down at the dead body of Sakura and looked around for a razor, turning emo because it reminded him of what happened to Itachi… long story short, Itachi committed suicide after jumping from a building. This was caused by seeing a naked Hinata. He realized he was gay.
Oh how he missed his nights with Itachi. Although still did have Itachi's wig of hairs. From every part on his body, all in different bags, on his nightstand. He loved and ate them all. But the doctor told him not to because there would be a hair clot in his belly which was actually a clone of Itachi! SASUKE'S PREGNANT WITH ITACHI'S CHILD.
Naruto looked up and screamed, Rock Lee was pouring bleach all over Sasuke, but the black-haired pregnant man didn't care because he was in labor, with twelve children. He was on his fourth. Then his fifth. Then his six. Then… his nineteenth. Wait, no he just couldn't count, there were twelve and ½ because one got severed.
Rock lee stepped away from the bleached and sweaty and bloody cow to go over to Naruto and asked for a balloon, because Naruto always carried a condom in his belly button.
"Why…?"
"Sasuke wanted it."
"OKAY!! But… he already had a lot… like almost the whole stores worth."
Even so, he gave it to him and then Rock lee opened it and shoved it down his throat, Naruto started to choke on it, breathing in and out into it until carbon dioxide killed him along with the rubber exploding in his throat. He was dead. Rock lee did a bar-jig in a little skirt and pranced over to Sasuke, who had died from exhaustion and blood loss.
Then Hinata walked up and started to strip, then made out with Rock lee but Rock lee was making out with Naruto's butt, but Rock lee and Hinata and Naruto and Sasuke and Sasukes twelve and ½ Itachi-children rolled down a hill into a cheese grader that Nieji left out to grade cheese and grade innocent people, for spaghetti.
Everyone died except Nieji who was happy because he didn't have to do more work.
But… Did you ever hear that swallowing soap is bad for you? Well, Nieji found out real quick.
-
owari.
Reviews are appreciated.