Warning: Spoilers for Season 1!
Disclaimer: The L Word doesn't belong to me, it belongs to Showtime and Ilene Chaiken. This song by Carrie Underwood isn't mine either.
When you look back on times we had
I hope you smile
Tina leaned into Bette further and asked "Do you think he's happy?"
And know that through the good and through the bad
I was on your side when nobody could hold us down
After a pause, Bette softly replied "Yeah, I think he is. Despite our break up and the fighting and the sadness, I think he at least knew that we both loved him. That we always loved him and that we never truly blamed him for causing our problems even if we said so in jest before. So yes, I believe he is happy."
We claimed the brightest star
And we, we came so far
Tina sighed "But we've come a long way since those days, we haven't fought in a long time and even today, despite the occasion, I don't think it's real sadness that we feel. More of closure and peace. Or at least that's how I feel, how about you?"
And no they won't forget
"I feel the same, although I have to say this is bringing back memories for me. Some good some bad, but I'm at peace."
Whenever you remember times gone by
Remember how we held our heads so high
Bette hugged Tina tighter, leaning down to whisper in her ear "Remember when we first came out as a couple? Nothing could hold us back, nothing could get us down. We were so high on love, so assured. We looked good together; we were the ultimate lesbian power couple, we felt unbreakable."
When all this world was there for us
And we believed that we could touch the sky
Tina murmured her assent "Yeah, I was on my way up in Alphaville and you were making your gallery the hottest thing this side of the coast. We thought we would be the next Bill and Hilary Clinton!"
Whenever you remember, I'll be there
"Then we lost it all, just like that. Because of my severe lapse in judgement."
"Hey babe, didn't we get over this long ago? You were not the only one at fault. We both contributed to the demise of our marriage, we both dug our own graves. You know, I think it's a good thing I'm here, if not you'll be your usual self, looking at things from only one perspective, being harsh on yourself!"
Remember how we reached that dream together
Whenever you remember
"I know I know," Bette buried her nose in Tina's hair before inhaling deeply "It's a hard habit to break."
"But I think we made good on that dream didn't we?"
Tina felt Bette smiling into the back of her head before turning to look at the toddler sleeping peacefully on a beach mat next to them.
"Yeah babe we sure did."
When you think back on all we've done
I hope you're proud
When you look back and see how far we've come
"I'm not crazy about the route we took to get to the place we're in now. But I think I'm proud of the way we recovered and pulled ourselves together." Tina said while stroking the soft curls of their daughter.
It was our time to shine
And nobody could hold us down
"Yeah, when we finally truly found our groove, we were even better than before. And I thought that was impossible! Do you remember the first gallery opening we went to after we had reunited?"
They thought they'd see us fall
But we, we stood so tall
"Yeah, everyone was watching to see if it was an act, people hitting on us both, left right and center. God even Candace was there," Tina shuddered "But we even got through that. That was when we knew we were going to make it, right?"
And no we won't forget
"Oh we knew you were gonna make it too." A wry voice rang out.
"Kit! Alice! Dana! Shane! Oh my god, why are you guys here?"
Whenever you remember times gone by
"We know what today is, we all miss him too, I think it's time for us to grieve as a family baby sis."
Remember how we held our heads so high
When all this world was there for us
And we believed that we could touch the sky
"Yeah. It's about time. You two are still the golden couple, especially after your reunion. God I can't believe I'm saying this but you're actually stronger and better than ever." Alice quipped.
"Well, we weren't all that good or at least we weren't good enough for a while." Bette replied sadly, her thoughts immediately turning to the baby boy they had lost.
Whenever you remember, I'll be there
Remember how we reached that dream together
Whenever you remember
"Hey hey, Bette, that's why we're here. We're here to remember your baby boy, our precious nephew. And to celebrate as well alright? Celebrate the birth of your beautiful healthy daughter who's lying right here." Kit quickly intervened before the mood could worsen.
Yeah, Oh
We claimed the brightest star
"Yeah baby, look at Angelica, she's the validation of all our efforts to get to this point. Everyday I look at her and I just feel so grateful and so proud." Tina said while caressing Bette's back to calm her down.
And we, we came so far
You know that we, we showed them all
And no they won't forget
Bette sighed and leaned into Tina's comforting touch, looking lovingly at her precious daughter "Yeah I know what you mean, whenever I see her, I feel as if I've found redemption."
Yeah
Whenever you remember times gone by
Remember how we held our heads so high
When all this world was there for us
And we believed that we could touch the sky
Whenever you remember, I'll be there
Remember how we reached that dream together
Whenever you remember
With that statement, all of them turned to look at Angelica, silently thanking this lovely tiny being for coming into all their lives.
They sat there silently, side by side, each preoccupied with their own memories of the journey they all had to take to get where they were today. There were ups and downs, laughter, joy, sadness, anger and finally peace.
Whenever you remember
A while later, Angelica woke up and they all fussed over her. Tina shook her head lovingly as Bette attempted to explain what they were doing there at the beach that day to Angelica. The rest just laughed and continued to play with the happy baby.
As the sun went down, all of them stood together as one - Alice and Dana holding hands, Shane and Kit with their arms around each other and Bette and Tina with Angelica between them – all of them released a balloon each, one for each year since he had passed away.
Oh, whenever you remember
All shed tears, watching the balloons float away, against the backdrop of the setting sun, as a faint baby's chuckle filled the silence of the evening sky.