Chapter 1.

A hungover Darcy Lewis was speed walking - or trotting, as she liked to call it - to the one of many training rooms of S.H.I.E.L.D. She was already over an hour late for her training with Natasha. Yep, she could say it: she is on fist name basis with the fricking Black Widow. The girls at high school would be so jealous. If only she could Facebook this shit. S.H.I.E.L.D. had removed the photo of Thor in New Mexico because of 'security measures'. They just don't know the importance of bragging to high school bullies that a hunk of a guy – a GOD, even – was hanging out with you. Ah, to see the look on Hannah Waters' face…

Back to reality, she could see Steve at the end of the corridor in his super tight gym wear. Thanking the Gods for the view- she started to remember the party last night. Tony Stark's parties never fail to leave you with regrets. Attempting to show Thor how to do a keg stand was a bad idea. She failed miserably. Thank the heavens that Steve had most of the fall, Tony would've been crushed. Apparently a God weighs more than an average dude! Who could've guessed?

Darcy cringed at the thought of how she must've looked dangling by the ankles from Tony and Steve. She wasn't being very modest. Wearing one of her figure hugging and low cut dresses which only came to her mid-thigh- she gained a few wolf whistles from Tony. Her large breasts were a blessing and a curse. She was determined to draw a pair of eyes on her cleavage after giving up on a losing battle with Tony that she did actually have eyes on a thing called a face. Apparently, he didn't know, or want to know.

After a few shots of vodka with Natasha- who is immune to the stuff- she inelegantly passed out. But, obviously, she had time to embarrass herself before. She doesn't know who got her back to her apartment at Stark Tower that night but was thankful that she didn't find any drool marks on her face.

Yep, good one Darce! Although you showed everyone your panties, you didn't drool. Your mother would be so proud.

############################# Tony's party the night before ############################

"три, два, один" Natasha chanted in Russian at Darcy, knocking back her fourth shot of Vodka- flown from Russia, apparently, for the occasion. Tony Stark never fails to satisfy his guests.

"Uughch" shaking her head violently, Darcy could feel the liquid courage making its way to her poor old liver. After trying to show Thor how 'Midgardian's' do it, and failing at the keg stand, she was determined to show something only Midgardian's knew.

In between laughing at her own thoughts, Darcy kicked her too-high heels off and climbed, un-ladylike onto the bar and shouted over at the Avengers and friends who were spread around the room in two's or three's. "IRON MAN!" trying to keep her balance, she held onto the pillar which was very huggable.

"Lewis," he said proudly after being referred as Iron Man, "have you re-considered my offer?" indicating with his eyes to her breasts, strutting towards her. Rolling her eyes dramatically, Darcy jokingly slapped a hand to her eye.

"Ouch! I think I just pulled a muscle."

In between laughs, Darcy indicated to her body and started to rap, "Can't touch this". Smirking, she pointed at Thor and shouted "HAMMER TIME".

His reaction was hilarious. Turning to Jane he asked in his booming Asgardian tone,

"What is this 'Hammer Time'?" Jane couldn't keep a straight face- she started to giggle which only made Thor more confused. Turning to Darcy he asked, "Lady Darcy, when is this, Hammer Time? Should I be ready?"

"Goldstein."

"Yes, Mr Stark?" the DJ asked, adjusting his headphones.

"It's Hammer Time" Tony stated with a nod of a head.

After clicking 'play', Tony stride to the centre of the room. Steve, being the 40's gentleman as he is, offered his hand to Darcy to help her down from the bar- avoiding touching her arse or boobs, which he failed, setting a very deep red blush on his chiselled cheeks. Separating her and the pillar- who she greatly missed.

Dragging Natasha with her to the centre of the room, she started to dance with Natasha and Tony.

Going for it- Darcy smoothed away invisible creases on her dress and rapped to the words;

"Can't touch this (oh-oh oh oh-oh-oh)
Can't touch this (oh-oh oh oh-oh-oh)"

"It's Hammer go Hammer
It's a Hammer yo Hammer and the rest go and play"

Thor was actually impressed by her rapping and dancing skills. Well, if you could count holding onto Tony's arm and attempting to shuffle across the floor, dancing.

"Lady Darcy, where did you learn this fast melody?" Thor questioned followed with a booming laugh as he helped her from nearly falling on the ground. Grabbing ahold of Thor's enormous arms, giggling at herself she did her best Thor impression.

"Whereth did you master the art of biceps?" before passing out, still clutching onto his enormous biceps.

"Напримерлегкий вес" laughed Natasha, looking at her archer bestfriend.

Grinning, Clint shook his head at Darcy, "да"

############################### Darcy in S.H.I.E.L.D. HQ ###############################

Noticing that she was sill staring at Steve, Darcy nearly stumbled over her own feet.

"Feeling better this morning?" Steve greeted her with a boyish grin.

"Peachy," Darcy announced, "how about you, Cap?"

"Never better, I-I can't actually get drunk." Scratching the back of his head he continued, "It was one of the side-effects of the serum."

"Well that's a bummer." Looking down, she caught a glimpse of her watch. "Shit! Is that the time? Sorry Cap, gotta run, late for training" she stated.

"Good luck." He chuckled, knowing how Natasha reacted when he over slept one morning. Apparently 70 years wasn't enough.

Jogging to the entrance of the training room, Darcy was already out of breath.

"Sorry I'm late Tash, don't-" looking into the room she saw a topless Clint Barton removing his boxing hand wraps. Stopping mid-sentence and mid step, her breath caught in her throat. She never knew the famous Hawkeye was so damn fine.

Holy shit. Look at his arms… damn, could you imagine those wrapped around…

Clint grabbed his t-shirt from the bench which made Darcy pout a little when he put it over his head and stretched it down to his hips. Seeing her reaction, he smirked.

"You've missed her" his voice raspy from being out of breath.

Wait, what did he say? I've missed her. Right.

"No shit" waving her hands around her sides, matching his smirk.

"Surprised you're up so early, considering how you were last night" flashing her a devilish grin.

Crossing her arms under her chest- revealing a little too much cleavage- she raised an eyebrow, "What's that supposed to mean?" knowing full well of the state she was in last night.

"Hammer time" he sang.

A/N - Well, this is the first chapter of my first ever FanFiction, so be easy on me! I apologise in advance if there are any spelling errors... I've started writing Chapter 2 already so I'll try to be speedy. Much love, from the Seventh Avenger, Shauna.