A/N: I'm contemplating a part 2, where they actually talk about how their relationship is going to go, and I'll write it if it's wanted. So please, comment below, it really makes my day.
Disclaimer: I don't own Attack on Titan, or Levi, but I do own Jenna, so please don't borrow her without permission.
I grinned as I read the words of my book, saying them to myself as I looked at the reassuringly familiar black characters.
"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not."
Those words had been the motto of my childhood, repeated nearly every night by my parents when they read me my bedtime story. I had long since memorized The Lorax, but I still liked to hold the book and look at the pictures and revel in the memories that were triggered by them.
It was after school, and I was waiting for Levi to finish sorting out the returned books of the day in the school's library. He volunteered there and I did as well as a matter of fact, but he had told me to go and set up our instruments. So here I was, in our school's auditorium, having finished placing the bass and violin in front of their respective stands and arranging the music in the order we needed to practice in long ago. We rehearsed every day after school before going home to my house and studying until nightfall. Then Levi would walk home and I would go to sleep. Or not, depending on how things went.
Bored, and unwilling to warm up before Levi came, I had pulled out the worn book and started to read. I took a few moments to bask in the meaning of the word unless, and smiled, turning the page. Then, darkness.
Eyes widening and head snapping up, I looked around and saw the same thing. Everywhere I looked, inky darkness encompassed my vision. I saw no light, no shadows, not even myself. The words and colorful pictures that had brought me such comfort only moments before had been swallowed up, and the only reassurance I had that it was still there was the feel of the book in my now trembling hands.
My eyes trained but could not detect any light whatsoever, and my breathing began to quicken. Trying to calm myself, I called out, "Hello? Anyone there?" I listened, but with the black came an oppressive silence, dampening the acoustics of the auditorium, swallowing my words so that I couldn't even hear the echo. Swallowing, my breaths coming sharper and quicker, I asked again, "Anybody? Anybody at all?" my voice coming out shaky and small. I stood up carefully, for I had been sitting on the edge of the stage and I didn't want to fall. I began to talk to myself, trying to calm myself down before I had a panic attack.
"Alright, I'm alone, in the dark, no phone, no light… I know what the stage looks like, but the instruments I'm not sure about…" I tried to picture where I had left them, but couldn't think through the panic that was setting in. I looked around, trying once again to see something, anything, but it was in vain. Then, the visions came.
The hairs on the back of my neck prickled, and I had to bite back a whimper as the horrible feeling of something watching me began to grow stronger. I shuddered, trying not to think about hands coming out from the dark to grab at me, but then the shudders continued, and I whipped around, seeing things that weren't there, but unable to convince myself of that fact. The more I tried to not think about anything, the more my mind conjured up from my past. Horror movies and commercials that I had been unable to avoid, grotesque and deformed creatures, characters from books that I had been forced to create a mental picture of, and then the horror games that my friend had convinced me to watch. It wasn't as scary when we were watching them together, but she wasn't here and I was alone, and I could feel the eyes of Freddy, Chica, Bonnie, Foxy, and Golden Freddy. I was spinning in a circle now, as the faces of everything I feared came to haunt me, and it was too much!
I closed my eyes, dropped to the floor, the book having fallen out of my hands at some point, and whimpered. Curling up with my arms around my knees, head pressed against them, I tried not to cry. Body shaking with shivers, and goosebumps breaking out in harsh waves across my whole body, I sought anything that would take my mind off of the monsters that were tormenting me. Mind racing, I choked back a sob as I felt their cold, lifeless bodies approaching, heard their creaking, and moaning, and hissing, and felt the tips of their claws, their metal fingers, their dry skin scraping against me. And then I felt a hand grab my shoulder and screamed, short and piercing, shrinking away from the hand as the first few tears started to fall.
The hand jerked away from me and I heard an alarmed, "Jenna?!" My eyes opened at the words, cutting through the terror and allowing me to recognize the voice.
"L-Levi?" I whispered, looking up into a bright light. Unused to it, I winced and looked away. That was a mistake as I saw the ghost of the light dance around me, looking so much like the eyes of the Hallucinations from Five Nights at Freddy's 3. Looking back, I took in Levi's panicked face, highlighted from underneath with the bright light I now recognized as his phone's flashlight, and felt my head clear a little.
"Jenna, what the heck happened?" he asked urgently, kneeling down so that he could look straight at me.
"I was reading, and the lights all went off. Umm…" I trailed off, reluctant to tell him that I got scared. I wasn't usually this reluctant, because my parents had taught me not to be ashamed of the fear, and because most people didn't realize the actual extent of my terror and just agreed with me, saying that it was the same for them. And maybe it was, and maybe they were just like me, but too embarrassed to admit it. I didn't judge people for how they handled their fears if I was aware of them though, because my parents had also taught me that lesson. My parents are great.
Back to the present matter, I wasn't being totally open because this was Levi, and he had seen how bad it was for me. I liked to consider Levi and I close friends. We had clicked immediately, but while I had never felt the need to hide most things from him, there were some that I just didn't think one should share with a guy. Especially not things about serious emotions… So what, I had a crush on Levi. I couldn't see much happening between us though, so I didn't entertain it. Or at least, that's what I told myself. If I was being totally honest, I didn't try to stop myself from dreaming, but, it was Levi! Not much else to be said in the matter. Levi was stoic, didn't like showing emotion, collected, clever, OCD, and an introvert. I was extremely spontaneous, often wore my heart on my sleeve, acted frazzled even though I knew exactly what I was doing, liked to think of myself as pretty logical, OCD, and, an introvert… Okay, we were kinda similar. But I always pretended I was an extrovert as a way of combating my shyness, so it didn't appear to most that we were cast from the same mold. Well, birds of a feather flock together I guess.
It was this similarity that was dooming me at the moment. I knew he was thinking back on every time he had heard me mention my fear, every example of it, and how best to proceed because that's what I would be doing. But that knowledge gave me no clue as to his next move, so I was totally unprepared for his arms to envelope me and pull me onto his lap and against his chest, and for his face to nestle against the top of my head.
"All those times you had mentioned being afraid of the dark, and I never realized to what extent that fear went. I'm sorry, Jenna. I should have noticed sooner, and I should have done something about it…" His voice was soft, soothing, and I relaxed from when I had tensed up in his arms. I loved hugs. A lot. People didn't understand how much I loved them. Maybe it stemmed from when my parents would hold me when I was a child after a nightmare, and all of the family cuddles I had throughout my life. Either way, much like my fear, people took my declaration lightly, and gave me a joking half hug whenever I said anything. I didn't dislike them for it, they just didn't know the whole story. That it wasn't enough, that I needed to be able to just hold somebody, squeeze them tight, feel them do the same to me, and just enjoy it without worrying about what an acceptable time to let go would be.
So when Levi hugged me, arms wrapped tight around my shoulders and waist, I was able to banish all of the horrific creatures that had previously been clouding my vision, hearing, and logic. Breathing out a contented sigh, I realized that Levi was probably waiting for me to say something. I snuggled up closer to him, gripping the fabric of his warm sweatshirt with my cold hands, and rested my head against his chest, careful not to dislodge him.
"I don't blame you in any way Levi." I told him, voice growing stronger with every word. "I've never minded, and I'm usually able to deal with it. Don't feel guilty, it's not just up to you to fix all of my problems."
"… I want to though." came his reply, murmured so quietly I almost thought he was talking to himself. Whether he meant to say it out loud or not, the cold left my body as his words warmed me, and I felt the familiar fluttering of my heart as I remembered that this was Levi who I was cuddling with, not my mom or dad.
"Really?" I asked just as quietly. Levi stiffened slightly, and I winced, fearing that he would leave, as it was now evident that he hadn't meant to say it out loud. The cold returned, seeping in with a vengeance, and I felt my heart freeze in my chest. Hardly daring to breath as fear washed over me once again, I choked out, "Don't leave me, please..." The words came out strained, and I heard Levi take in a sharp breath. His arms tightened around me again, and I almost sobbed with relief.
"Never… I would never leave you, Jenna. Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere."
A/N: I hope you guys liked this because I certainly did. Comments are always welcome!