So i tried to translate it the best i could maybe i sometimes sound a bit strange please forgive me. and it takes a some time to translate so please be patient. i hope you like it i also have to thank Quiggely for editing the whole thing and correcting my mistakes so you can enjoy the story with proper grammar.
I opened my eyes. No, today had certainly not been a good day. I was sitting in my marble bathtub that was about the size of the whirlpool, in my newly rewon bath. With compulsion, I eyed the luxury adornment on the walls. Medieval royalty really had had a truly dreadful taste. Only the golden toilet made out of pure gold made me smile. I thought it was a formidable joke. A masterpiece of decadency. That is to say "Pecunia non olit."
I was not crazy about the rest of my pompous furniture, except for the mirror hanging on the wall and almost covering it entirely. Five people could easily stand in front of it without having to touch each other. And it was able to show one's aura. It had been a present from the Empress of China, a very powerful witch. She had traded it for a mark. It had been of no use. In the end I had sold her out to the best bidder anyway. At the thought of her almost hurt look, I had to laugh. It echoed against all four walls and made it sound almost vicious. God, how I loved the acoustics in this room. Disdainfully, I turned my back on my pompus bathroom.
How I missed Asia. The simplicity of the furniture, the directness of the people. With a long-suffering look to my lacy attire I had draped on a chair, and that only waited to itch and scratch me, I added the simple clothing to my list. Asia had been paradise before the horrible Ku drove me out of it. But there was one good thing to it. That was the way I had met Ceri. Ceri, who had been taken from me. The water began to boil because of my wrath and I tried to settle down again. What was done was done and I had found a more thankworthy replacement for my favorite toy. That is how Ceri went and the attire stayed. Old habits die hard I guess. I had a terrible headache from wallowing in old times and took the tin from the rim of the bathtub that seemed to literally scream for me to pick it up. When I opened it a sweet smell entered my nostrils.
Greedily I spread some of the white powder onto the rim and inhaled it within one breath. Immediately I felt my muscles relax and my mind cleared. Satisfied, I leaned back and sank into the warm water. All noises, basically only the ticking of the old wall clock that came from my living room, were muffled by the water. My annoying familiar was wholeheartedly occupied with getting into my itchy witch's pants and keep her alive. Obviously, she could not manage to do that herself.
Since I had taken the ghost in, I almost never had a peaceful moment anymore. If he had not had been the only one who was able to keep Rachel alive, I would have sold him off to the highest bidder. No day went by without him trying to kill me at least 4 times. Little by little it was getting pretty annoying. But today, all birds had flown, and even though I had had to warm my bathwater myself, I enjoyed the peace. I closed my eyes and began to doze off. Suddenly, I was startled by a loud sneeze. A second one followed and this time I swallowed a little water with foam. Tasty.
Al? I heard the penetrating voice of my little witch echo through my head. Rachel calling Al, Al please come in! If she would not shut up immediately, I swore I would ride through the line stark naked and, Pierce or no Pierce, choke her with my own bare hands. But as I knew my itchy witch, I knew better, and just picked up the call trying to be as pissed as possible. Hopefully she would get a headache. Rachel dear, have you ever heard of shrinks? Those are the nice people who can help you if you've got a problem. You don't have to call me every single time. My thoughts sounded sweet, but she would sense that I was really mad on the inside. I could feel her lose some of her confidence. Rid me of Pierce. He's annoying.
I sighed and sat up straight. Yes, I know, that is exactly why I sent him to you. I heard Rachel yelling something at someone who did not take part in our non-verbal conversation. I could feel embarrassment spreading through her. I pictured how her ears took on the color of her hair when she was embarrassed, and had to smile. Obviously she noticed that I had noticed, cause she put her focus back to our conversation.
Gosh, Al. He's so bored that he even decided to search my lingerie for deadly charms. My lingerie! That obviously made her ashamed and I couldn't help teasing her. If he wants to get into your pants, just let him. You have not had any problem with that in the past. I would bet that she was tomato red in her face by now and I enjoyed the mental picture that formed before my eyes. Sighing, I stood up, and the water was dripping down my body. If Rachel had gone through all the trouble to call me, Pierce really had to be annoying the living crap out of her. Maybe it would be best to bring him back; it would be time for dinner soon anyhow. Well, Al? What exactly are you doing right now? Rachel asked hesitantly. She probably had felt the dripping water. I laughed keenly. I'm bathing. But you can join me if you want, I said lasciviously, and slowly pulled a ley line through her, 'cause I knew that would bring her lust and pain alike. And Rachel was digging for that mixture. She had not been with a vampire in vain. I laughed at her obvious shock, and appreciated that I still could make her tremble with fear and agony.
Warn our little wannabe Merlin. I'm going to pull him through the line in a second. Rachel breathed a sigh of relief. Then she screamed "Pierce, put that down! NOW!" And then the connection was gone. I shook my head in anger. Nothing but trouble with these familiars. Because my peace and quiet had only been for a short time, I went to the living room to search for my mirror.
It had been a while since Pierce had cleaned up in here. I had to search forever behind piles of books to finally find the small silver hand mirror, only to remember that I did not want to talk to Rachel, but that I wanted to rid her from Pierce. See that is what happens when you don't grant demons enough sleep. They get sloppy.
You're to blame yourself if you accidentally get dropped into a line next time itchy witch, I thought. Shortly the thought crossed my mind to get rid of Pierce once and for all in that way, but I soon dropped that idea. Who would cook my meals? Good familiars were hard to find these days, since Rachel had taken away my most secure income: Herself. Let alone the people I could drag into the Ever After with her help, I had financed this fancy house. But we had a deal, and demons never broke their oaths. They only were good in finding the loopholes.
My thoughts returned to my actual intentions as I tapped a line. Here in the Ever After, the lines were the only living things besides the demons. And even though they tasted old and dusty, as if one were chewing on sand, they always left this odd feeling of emptiness and loneliness when you let go of them. But as I worked daily with these lines, I barely paid attention to it. I knew the line I used so well that it was a piece of cake to swing in unison with her.
Then I concentrated all my power on the church my little student was living in. Not even the holy ground can save her wretched ass, I thought sourly."1,2,3, Pierce, I'm coming," I whistled, before I found his familiar dirty aura I waved him into the lay line and pulled him towards me. The fool was refusing to let go. I gave his free floating soul a little push of energy, and the pain broke through his resistance.
Less than 3 seconds later, he was standing in my kitchen. "You blasted fool of a cursed demon. Your mother was a brainless whore," he spat, and managed to look angry and desperate at the same time. "I'm glad to see you too," I responded, and turned my back on him because I already lost interest.
"You do not understand! They attacked Rachel and before I could hasten to her rescue you pulled me from her with your heartless claws."
Rachel had done it again. She had managed to be attacked in less than 2minutes. That was a new record. I swore, if an assassin would not manage to kill her any time soon, I would do it for them. Sighing, I looked at my watch. Shortly after sunset. Supper would have to wait. I felt like an owner that had to clean up after his untrained puppy. "I've got to do everything myself," I grumbled. As Pierce understood what I was about to do, he got in my way. "I will come with you and save Mrs. Rachel." He was just what I always needed. "No! You stay here!" I hissed at him, and hit him so hard that he collapsed, falling to the floor. "Be a nice dog and sit." Pierce yelled something but I was already gliding through the lines.