Author's Note (full note at the bottom):
- This will be a Bella/Edward Fic, please be patient with me!
- There is some lesbian content, if that isn't for you then please don't read on.
- I love Scotland, and I apologise now for any factual inconsistencies, everything I've written is from my own knowledge, I really am an undergraduate University in Scotland. The gaelic is from my family who are native gaelic speakers, I however only have a few words here and there.
- Obviously I own nothing, apart from several thousand pounds worth of student debt.
I fecking hate flying. Lex had always laughed at me for it. But as my Seanmhair always used to say, if God above had intended for us to fly we would be born with wings on our back, just like the birds. The last time I checked I still hadn't grown wings. I was a Scottish lass, the closest I got to feeling at home in the sky was walking the Cuillin Ridge, and to be honest I hadn't felt very comfortable doing that. It was Lex's idea, the crazy things that made you feel sick to your stomach always started off as suggestions from Lex.
"Mammie, are we nearly there yet?" I took a deep breath before I responded to my beautiful wee bairn, who was testing my patience already.
"No Mhàiri, we only took off from Glasgow an hour or so ago." I gently smoothed her dark red curls away from her pale, freckled forehead. My lassie was as Scottish as they came, both in looks and in temper. She sighed deeply and kicked her feet up in the air. Pinching the bridge of my nose I braced myself, the poor wee girl was tired and bored which meant her temper was at the end of its rope. "Come here leannan, why don't you cuddle into me and I'll tell you a story." I silently thanked God for listening as Mhàiri crawled into my lap, taking my suggestion as a good idea the first time of asking – something that never happened. Once she was comfortable I also offered up a quick word of thanks to Angela, my saint of a boss, who had booked us these seats in business class allowing plenty of room for my five-year-old daughter to cuddle in beside her Mammie.
"How much longer are we on the plane for Mammie?" the question came in a small voice, and was accompanied by a lengthy yawn. It wouldn't be long before she was asleep, hopefully I'd be able to join her. I was exhausted having been restless the night before, worrying over this trip.
"About six hours, when we arrive in New York it will be about tea time there. What story would you like to hear? I could tell you the one about the Laird and Lassie that Seanmhair told you when we went to visit last?" I offered this half heartedly as I was sure I knew which story Mhàiri would ask for, it was always the same. I mentally chastised myself for forgetting to pack her storybooks in my carry-on luggage, I was emotionally drained as it was, and telling this story was not going to help with my weariness.
Sure enough after a moment of thought my daughter answered, "tell me about Mamaidh, tell me about how you met."
"Okay baby, but before I start do you need to go to the bathroom?" she shook her head, as expected. Just as I opened my mouth to start the tale, a friendly airhostess walked past and offered us a blanket, which I took gratefully. With great effort due to the awkward angle I unfolded the blanket and tucked it around us both before reclining and settling myself for what I hoped would be a lengthy sleep.
Ready to resume the story I looked down to find Mhàiri fast asleep, nestled into my side. Although I was grateful to have avoided telling the story out loud, Mhàiri had got me thinking. I closed my eyes and thought back to that fateful evening, nearly ten years ago, that changed my whole life.
I was 18, a first year student at Edinburgh University and dirt broke. I was the first person in my family to go to University and they were all so proud of me, my mammie and daddy had driven me down to Edinburgh and dropped me off six weeks prior and I had relished the freedom. Life in the big city had treated me well, initially, I had met a few other students who lived in the same building as I did and had spent several long evenings drinking cold pints of Tennents in snug little pubs all over the city. The days had been whiled away, partly in classes which I had thrown myself into, enjoying the challenge that my degree in business was offering me; but mostly my days were spent exploring Edinburgh. Six weeks later I knew the city like a local, and loved every inch of it.
However, six weeks later I had also realised that I was in desperate need of extra funds. After paying my rent for the year, buying all my textbooks and school supplies and then eating and drinking for six weeks, my savings were severely depleted. I had consulted the large corkboard in the lobby of my building and seen a small A4 poster reading "Local pub, The Sgian Dubh, bartender wanted, no experience necessary, flexible hours, pay meets NMW". After getting lost twice I was now standing outside The Sgian Dubh, clutching my hastily put together CV in my hands.
The door was heavy as I pushed it in, but that was to be expected, most of the traditional pubs in this part of Edinburgh were still situated in old buildings which had been built to last, complete with solid doors and furnishings made to withstand the Scottish weather (and the Scottish folk once they had a dram in them!). The bar was empty, although it was only 9:30 in the morning, perhaps a wee bit early on a Tuesday even for a Scot. As I looked around I noticed a lassie in the corner of the bar polishing glasses and looking dead at me, with one eyebrow raised.
"You lost lass?" She smirked at me before putting the glass down and walking round from behind the bar. I opened my mouth and gaped at her, but didn't respond. This girl was stunning. She was a wee bit taller than me but not by much, my eyes were drawn to her fiery red hair which tumbled down in messy curls around her pale heart shaped face. Her tiny waist was accentuated by the bar apron she had tied around it over worn jeans and a black t-shirt. I continued to stare at this beautiful woman, trying to find my words and ignore the butterflies in the pit of my stomach. "Are. You. Lost? Do you ken me lassie?" she repeated, slower for my benefit.
"Sorry, no, I meant to be here. I'm applying for your job. See?" I thrust my CV at her. She didn't take it. Shit, she's probably not even the manager. She only looks a few years older than me. Trust me to lose my wits in the face of a bonnie lass. "My name is Bella."
"Bella? You're not from around here, I can tell, you sound like a highlander, but what kind of name is Bella?"
I sighed, "It's short for Ishbel, but my mam's name is Ishbel, so's my Seanmhair's, so they call me Bella, to stop confusion."
"I ken. That makes more sense, Ishbel's a right name for a wee highland bairn such as yourself. Plus I've never met an English girl with a Seanmhair!"
"I'm no a bairn." I huffed at her then folded my arms across my chest, God where the hell did this girl get off? Quizzing me because my name didn't sound Scottish enough for her, then calling me a bairn. If I was only a bairn would I be here asking for a job pouring drams behind her bar? I tried to sulk, something I'm sure would have been more convincing if I could tear myself away from her eyes which were bright blue and somehow just so much sexier every time she laughed at me.
"Naw, but you throw a strop just like one." I gaped at her, she only winked at me in return. "When can you start?" Rather than responding I just stared at her some more. After a solid two minutes of staring I managed to find my voice.
"Today?"
"Are you telling me or asking me? We get some proper folk in this pub Bella, you need to be able to keep yer heid or they'll take you for a fool."
I nodded, "I can start tonight. My availability is on the covering letter attached to the CV I gave you."
"That's better! Right, here's the deal my wee young Bella. Tonight is your trial shift, I'll pay you tonight based on performance. So if you're pish I'll give you a pity pint and see you on your way. But, if I think you're up to the job you'll spend three evenings this week training with me and we'll sort out a permanent schedule once that's done. How's that for you?"
"That sounds great, thank you…" Shit, what was her name? Had she even told me? Was I too busy staring at her bonnie face to listen. What a great first impression.
"My name is Leagsaidh," she paused so I interjected.
"Great, thanks Leagsaidh, what time did you want me back tonight?"
"I knew you were Highland lass, no sassenach pronounces Leagsaidh right the first time round." She grinned at me, and the butterflies in my stomach started again. "Here in the bar they call me Lex. To cut a long story short, when I first moved to Edinburgh and started working here, no one could quite ken my name. So they shortened it to something that even English folk can pronounce, and it just stuck. And as for coming back, if you're not busy today you can help me with glasses and stock if you like, you'll get lunch out of it?"
"Sure Leagsaidh or Lex or whatever. I don't have anything else to do."
And that was how I met Lex. I fell into her pub a wee bit lost and a fair bit shy and she stole me up in the storm that billowed around her. She never stopped teasing me from that moment onwards. After my training was done I continued to work behind the bar with Lex, and after a few weeks it became clear to everyone that we worked well together. For some reason we had the perfect measure of each other which made working behind the bar together flawless. I could rely on her to throw bottles into the right hand, to pour the right measures for me, and to move around me without interrupting my work or stressing me out. We were the perfect team and I loved it.
I think she knew from the first time that I met her that I was head over heels. I followed her around like an abandoned puppy, opting to do most of my university work in the office whilst she did stocks and paperwork. How I passed all my exams, and how she kept that bar in stock, is beyond me. Half the time we'd give up on work and sit there chatting rubbish for hours. God I fancied her. She let me suffer though, never gave me an inkling that I was in for a chance. Not until a few months later, Hogmanay that same year.
"Bella, it's nearly midnight!" I heard her, but was concentrating on pouring the right whisky in the right glass for the regulars in front of me. "Oi! You crabbit wee bairn!" She snapped her polishing cloth with a flick of her wrist so it skelped me across the bum. I jumped forward, only just managing to save the whisky from being poured clear across the bar.
"Ach, wheesht ye Lex, I heard you the first time!" I stuck my tongue out at her as I corked the bottle and threw it into her open hand so she could put it on the shelf behind her. "I dinnae ken what difference midnight makes to me, I'm going to be pouring the same drams after midnight as I am just now". I took the money the old man was waving at me and jammed it in the till grabbing his change and passing it to him, uttering a quick Slàinte as I handed it over.
Lex tutted at me and banged two rocks glasses on the back bar just as the patrons started to count down from ten, "a Old Pultenay 21 for me," she said as she poured a generous measure into one of the glasses, "and a Dalwhinnie 15 for you" she did the same for me. I raised an eyebrow at her, "Don't fash yourself, I picked us the right whiskies for us, complex for me and smooth as honey for you! Trust me lassie!"
I laughed and held my glass up to knock against hers "Slàinte mhath!"
She knocked my glass back "Lang may yer lum reek, my fair quine!"
The pub erupted around us as the bang of fireworks started from somewhere in the far distance, whilst the band inside the pub started up the familiar tune of Auld Lang Syne. We both gulped down our whisky and turned back to the bar. Just as I was about to step forward to keep serving patrons Lex grabbed my arm, "I almost forgot Bells!" without warning she pulled me forward and gave me a quick, chaste kiss on the lips. "Cannae start a new year without a kiss!" the bar echoed with wolf-whistles and applause, I felt myself blush crimson. Lex winked and spun back to the bar, grabbing some shot glasses and lining them up in front of the customers.
I stood behind the bar with my fingers pressed to my lips in shock. What had just happened? I was shaken out of my daze by a beer mat launched towards my head from behind the bar by an impatient customer, spinning on my heel I faced him angrily, "Aye?!"
"AYE, CANNA HA 2 PINTS…" I sighed and flipped a pint glass into my hand as I grabbed the tap with the other, putting the kiss to the back of my mind. For now.
The rest of that shift seemed to go on forever, I was so conscious of every time Lex brushed past me, or reached over me to grab something that I turned into such a klutz. Jess, who had been collecting glasses for most of the night, gave me a sideways look and whispered to me "Bells, have you been drinking on shift? You're acting fair blootered"
I snorted before replying, "Naw Jess, I had a dram at the bells but that's it. I'm just tired." She shook her head but carried on with her work.
Finally, what seemed like an age later, I heard the ceilidh band pause and say, "right folks, this is our last song of the night. But before we do, why don't you all raise your last dram to the lassies behind the bar who've worked themselves to the ground tonight pouring drinks for your thirsty arses!" cries of Slàinte, tapadh leibh, thank you and Happy New Year echoed from around the pub, Lex slid glasses down the bar for all of us which we raised in return. "One more thing, our favourite bar manager Miss Leagsaidh has let us known that our own bonnie bartender, Miss Bella, has a fair voice on her. Bells why don't you come up and sing this last song with us?"
Aggressively shaking my head I turned around to walk towards the office but found my way blocked by Lex, "Why not Bells? I've heard you sing whilst you do stock and you've got a bonnie voice. You're a long time deid lass." I sighed, that was the old saying my Seanmhair used to justify everything. When I wasn't sure about moving away from the highlands to come to uni she turned to me and said, ach my wee Ishbel, yer a lang time deid lass. The meaning, in essence, is that life is too short, don't regret anything because you're dead for longer than you're living.
"Fuck it," I muttered under my breath before swallowing the drink Lex had pushed along the bar for me. I walked round the bar and hopped up on the stage, trying to cover my cheeks which I could feel turning pink due to the whistles and cheers coming from the folk in the bar. The band beckoned me over and whispered the song choice in my ear, I grinned, an obvious choice for the end of the night, but a song that I loved and knew well.
The band leader grabbed the microphone again, "Alrighty, here we go then folks, the perfect tune to end the night on, Happy Hogmanay."
I took the microphone from him and started tapping the beat out with my foot, closing my eyes I started to sing the opening lines to the song that I had sung hundreds of times before, "by yon bonnie banks, by yon bonnie braes, where the sun shines on Loch Lomond…" I was barely two words in before every soul in the place was bellowing the lyrics along with me.
Two and a half hours later, I was lying across three chairs praying that Lex wouldn't find anything else for us to do. I was exhausted. I never remembered clean up taking this long, but then again I'd never worked a night as busy as this.
"Right folks, that's us." There was some relieved muttering around the room, but no one had the energy to say anything more than that. "Thanks for all your help tonight guys, we stormed it, what a cracking Hogmanay. There's a £50 bonus for each of you on the bar, grab it on your way out but don't spend it all at once!"
I took a deep breath and sat up, everyone else was half way out the door, clearly anxious to get home to their beds, not that I blamed them. Grabbing my jacket and bag off the floor I walked up to the bar, just as I was reaching out to grab my tips Lex put her hand on top of mine.
"What are you doing just now Bells?"
"I'm going home to my bed Lex."
"You sure?"
Narrowing my eyes I looked at her. "Pretty sure, yeah. I mean, I'm fecking tired."
"You're a lang time deid Bells, that's all I'm saying."
What on God's green earth is that meant to mean? I turned to fully face her, studying her face. Her eyes were clear and happy, and her lips were smiling at me, just begging for me to kiss them again. She dropped a can of irn bru and a jaeger bomb on the bar in front of me, putting the same in front of herself.
"Do you trust me Bells?" I nodded dumbly. "Then drink this, and come with me. It's the first sunrise of the New Year, you don't want to miss this! We've got a wee walk before we get to where we're going but I promise, it's the best view in town."
My blind faith in this woman was ridiculous, but I did as she said. Which is how I found myself watching the sunrise from the top of Arthur's Seat, cuddled into her side, swathed in blankets. As the sun emerged slowly over the horizon, bathing Edinburgh in its light, I turned to Lex and watched her.
She had her eyes closed and her face angled towards the sun, there was a gentle wind that was blowing her red hair out behind her. God she was so beautiful.
"Lex," she turned to me, opened her eyes and smiled,
"Mhm?"
"You're right. We're a long time deid." With her words from earlier in the evening ringing round my ears, I gently put my fingers under her chin and angled her face towards me before leaning in and softly kissing her.
Part of me was expecting rejection. Or at best polite but unenthusiastic reciprocation. What I was not expecting was for Lex to deepen the kiss, slipping one hand around my waist and twisting the other into my hair.
She paused for a second and rubbed her nose against mine, "God Bells, I've been waiting nearly three months for you to find your balls and do this, thank the Lord!"
I shuffled around, trying to get Mhàiri comfortable in the nook of my arm. I kept my eyes closed and tried to breathe deeply, willing the tears to stop falling. The memories came so clearly, but too much had happened in the ten years since our first meeting. I was a different woman now.
Extended AN:
- This fic will be a slow burn, I work a lot and I'm trying to get a degree, I cannot promise regular updates. I'm so sorry for that!
- Please give me the benefit of the doubt, this is my first foray into writing FanFiction.
- Please leave me feedback, I will be so grateful!
Edit:
A very wise reviewer (SunflowerFran you're a hero) mentioned I should list some pronunciations and translations (I can't believe I didn't think of this myself), please let me know if I've included too many/too few. Here they are:
- Seanmhair - grandmother (Seanair, is grandfather which will come up later)
- Cuillin Ridge - is a geographical feature on the Isle of Skye, it's stunningly beautiful I would recommend googling it!
- Bairn - small child.
- Mhàiri - pronounced sort of like: Marr-ee? Although I do know a lassie called Mhàiri who pronounces it "Marie". However you would like to pronounce it is fine by me.
- leannan - I'm not sure of the direct translation but its used by gaelic speakers as an endearment, I suppose it would mean sweetheart or similar.
- Mamaidh - Mum
- Sgian Dubh - pronounced: ski-an doo, this is the small blade that Scotsman keep in their socks when wearing a kilt.
- "ken" - know, so if someone says "do you ken me" it means, do you understand me. It's Scottish slang but not gaelic (as far as I know)
- dram - a drink, or a measure. So a dram of whisky would be a drink of whisky. Also sometimes Scots use the work "nip" to mean the same thing.
- keep yer heid - something I hear a lot of old Scottish wifies say, it means keep your head, to stay calm in a situation (wifie - woman. Used the same as lassie but generally speaking to refer to an older woman)
- bonnie - pretty
- Leagsaidh - Literal pronunciation is: Leg-say, but in the Scottish accent it sounds a lot like lexy, hence the nickname lex.
- sassenach - foreigner/someone not from here, so if Lex is from the highlands, some of the Edinburgh folk might be sassenachs to her.
- Crabbit - grumpy
- skelped - smacked
- wheesht ye - Literally: shh you. Also some people say: Hold your wheest, which similarly means be quiet.
- Slàinte mhath - I *think* the literal translation is good health? But here in Scotland we use Slàinte mhath as a toast, so it's the equivalent of cheers, and Slàinte can be used by itself. Pronounced Slan-cha Vah (when scots say it, it all sort of runs together and the ch ends up sound like a j : slanjavah)
- Lang may your lum reek - another Scottish toast, literally means long may your chimney smoke, it's a toast to good health and fortune and is still very commonly used.
- quine - girl
- blootered - drunk (the scots have hundreds of words for drunk, I'll try and use as many of them as possible!)
- Hogmanay - Scottish New Year
- Irn Bru - a scottish fizzy pop drink.
- Arthur's Seat - another geological feature. this one overlooks Edinburgh.
- The song that Bella sings is Loch Lomond. There will be a lot of Scottish music references in this fic, I'll try and post links to as many as I can.