Disclaimer
I do not own Naruto, nor am I writing this for profit. Please don't sue!
Author's Note
A writing exercise that involves getting over my editing complex. I'm writing whatever comes to mind. Yes there will be some editing for spelling and grammar but otherwise this is whatever comes to mind. Updates therefore will be pretty frequent. Also I doubt this will be the most accurate portrayal of characterization, but I try, hehe.
Naruto and Sasuke's Amazing Adventure
Part 1: The Seventh Month Anniversary
"No. Go home Naruto."
With those final words, Sasuke Uchiha proceeded to shut the door on Naruto Uzumaki's big nose. There was an indignant squawk of protest and before Sasuke had reached the confines of his bedroom, the silence was broken by door pounding and generally incomprehensible ranting. Sasuke managed to pick up a few choice snippets of Naruto's diatribe.
"Open up dammit!"
More knocking ensued.
"Sasuke, you bastard!"
Sasuke toyed with the idea of ignoring him, but the Number One, Loudmouthed, Surprising Ninja of the Leaf was nothing if not persistent. Once Naruto had gotten an idea in his lodged into his thick skull, he would grab onto it like a boa constrictor grabs onto its prey. With a grunt of annoyed resignation, Sasuke strode back to the front door and opened it again.
Naruto looked ridiculous.
The blond was wearing longsleeved, white and blue stripped pajamas and that bizarre animal hat of his. Even more ridiculous was the pout on his face, the tremulous look in his blue eyes and the way he was clutching a pillow and blanket to his side.
The man looked like an overgrown five year old. Then again, Sasuke thought, the look was a reflection of his usual mental state, so it wasn't anything too shocking. The last Uchiha raised an eyebrow. Naruto, fluent in Sasuke-ese, took the expression as permission to elaborate.
"Sakura kicked me out!"
"Again?"
Naruto proceeded to let himself in, deliberately ignorant of Sasuke's bemused glare. He unceremoniously dumped his makeshift bedding onto his favorite spot on Sasuke's couch and whirled around pointing an accusing finger at his black teammate. "It's all your fault!"
Sasuke's fault? "Don't involve me in your love life, dobe," Sasuke responded, closing the door.
"You wanna come over here and say that?" Naruto said, brandishing a fist.
He then dropped it and ran his hands furiously through his hair. "Ah, man! That's exactly what caused this!"
"That?"
"I come back from our spar, you know, the one where I totally kicked your ass."
Strange, Sasuke had remembered a completely different situation but he wanted to hear Naruto's explanation without unnecessary detours so, he refrained from voicing a refutation.
"After I got out of the hospital and went back to the apartment, Sakura was home earlier than usual.
"She was all frisky and that's not the problem, I'm all over that shit. But then she starts talking about flowers and restaurants and candlelight dinners and secret romantic clearings in the forest."
With each item, Naruto gestured uselessly in the air. "I know for a fact it's not her birthday, that's next week! I've learned to write that down! So I ask her, what's the occasion?"
Naruto flopped down on the couch, shaking his head. "Then Sakura just bursts into tears. She starts sobbing about 'how I could forget our seventh month anniversary?' Sasuke, does that make sense to you? Seventh month anniversary?! I thought anniversaries were supposed to be yearly.
"So, I tell her that, and she kicks my ass out of the apartment. She's all like, 'since I spend so much time with you I might as well share a bed with you instead of her'."
"Hn." It was not the first time Sasuke was glad he was currently unattached. He walked to the small linen closet next to the kitchen, and opened it, "Don't get any ideas," he warned Naruto.
"Man I wouldn't sleep with you even if you went Sexy no Jutsu!" Naruto was quick to snap back, "Although, it's not like it'd do much, you're already built like a girl!"
Sasuke responded by throwing the pillow he had taken out of the closet at Naruto's face. "I'm going to sleep," he announced, "don't piss on my couch."
"Screw you Uchiha!" Naruto yawned as he settled into a comfortable position on the couch.
Sasuke was already in his bedroom by this point.
"Yeah, goodnight Naruto."