Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters (except the ones that may randomly burst through walls screaming about dairy products)
SJ: Fun! Now I get to practice with my typing skizzills!
Turtlewoman: blank stare whistles rolls away on a cheese wheel
SJ: blank stare at disappearing friend slowly turns towards audience awkwardly clears throat Uhh…without further ado, BEGIN!!!
Cue pop gun
Team Seven:
It is of great importance that you meet me, Kakashi Sensei at the bridge at 6:00 A.M. SHARP tomorrow morning. It appears we have a new mission headed our way. Pack your bags. This is a C-Ranked mission not unlike the first one (which, as you know, turned out to be A-Rank) (Just mentioned that so Naruto wouldn't decide to make this the day he slept in.)
The client is the daughter of a deceased friend of mine, so you best be on good behavior. Her name is Taika, Momo. We will find her house just a couple hours from the outskirts of Konohagure. This is an escort mission, so bringing food is unnecessary (unless you're Naruto. If that is the case, I advise you bring ramen. Lots of it. We won't be having any until we come back to the village.)
Well, Make-out Paradise is sitting precariously on my bookshelf and I feel obliged to save it.
Take care,
Kakashi Sensei
8:55 A.M.
Three Hours Past Meeting Time
"I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M LATE FOR THE NEW MISSION!!! AHHHH!!!" Naruto wailed as he removed a cup of stale ramen from under his bed. He normally would've devoured it had there not been the smell of dying animals wafting from its' general direction. He sighed and threw the cup into the trash can. Ramen wasted. He looked around the room for his toaster and bread. As he was searching, the snooze button shot back up and began screaming at him. He jumped at the sound of Sasuke's voice and turned to its' source.
"GET UP DOBE YOU'RE LATE AGAIN!!! GET UP DOBE YOU'RE LATE AGAIN!!! GET UP DOBE YOU'RE LATE AGAIN GET UP DO-" Naruto chucked his alarm clock across the room and sighed irritably (Kakashi, Sakura, and Sasuke had all chipped in and bought Naruto an alarm clock for his birthday…but not before adding a special alarm message and burning the instructions on shutting the damn thing up).
Well, since he was already late, why not eat a full breakfast before setting out?
As he hobbled over to Ichiraku's Ramen shop, he stopped dead in his tracks. Suddenly all hope of continuation ended and he fell to his knees. Defeated. Before him loomed a sign reading "Closed for repairs". After a few minutes of shock, he recovered himself and remembered the fact that they had C ranked mission that day. Now, normally, a C-ranked mission wasn't something Naruto looked forward to. Unless it included being allowed to leave the village. He didn't know why, but he always found that really, really exciting. Momentarily forgetting his ramen-related grief, he bolted for the team's daily meeting place.
But there was nobody there…
"HELLO??? HEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOO????!?!??" Naruto called loudly. Hmm…that's really weird. Wonder where everyone went…?
6:00 A.M.
Sasuke's House
"…two forty-seven…two forty-eight…two forty-nine…twoo fifffttyy…" Sasuke chanted out loud while doing push-ups. I can't quit…not yet. Naruto can do three-hundred without breaking a sweat. Common' Sasuke. You can do it.
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
Startled, Sasuke lost form and fell flat on his face. He scowled at the culprit that halted his training.
The alarm clock.
6:01 A.M.
Now what am I supposed to be doing?
He had now brought himself to a sitting position. He scratched his head (A habit he picked up from Naruto).
"The mission!" he exclaimed and bolted for the door.
6:21 A.M.
The Bridge
There it was. The ritual meeting place for squad seven. As Sasuke ran, it slowly came into view.
And so did a pink-haired, blood-sucking, nail-biting, pathetic looking sorry excuse for a ninja. He stopped and growled. She was running towards him.
Sakura, having noticed Sasuke far before he saw her raised her arms into the air and was running towards him in what seemed to be slow-motion (she feeling as if she was in love and he weighing the possibilities it gave him. Trip her or dodge her. Either way, he would have the satisfaction of watching her eating dirt rather than him). Unfortunately, he didn't have the chance to do either. Kakashi popped out of nowhere in a puff of smoke and found himself tripping Sakura. Sasuke not included.
Unintentionally, of course.
"Err…sorry about that, Sakura. I know you have a lot on your mind (being a girl and all) but we kinda have a mission. So, could you hold off your feminine fantasies for just a little while…?" Sakura's face slowly raised itself from her mud bath. Courtesy of the ground.
"Eh? Kakashi Sensei? You're early." She processed this for a moment and jumped up.
"YOU'RE NOT KAKASHI SENSEI!!! KAKASHI SENSEI IS ALWAYS LATE! YOU'RE ON TIME!!!" she pointed to him accusingly.
In response, Kakashi pointed to his watch.
"Correction, I'm three minutes late." He winked.
"You…you…" Sakura deflated. There was nothing more to say. Her left eye twitched irritably.
"You disgust me."
Kakashi looked around. Either he was ignoring Sakura, or he discovered something important. It proved to be a finely balanced combination of the two.
"Eh…where's Naruto…? He's usually early for things like this…"
"Dobe. He probably forgot to set his alarm again."
Kakashi sighed. On the rare occasion that he was on time (or at least close to it), someone was always late. It never failed. He pointed towards the village gates.
"Let's just go. Naruto will catch up to us once he realizes we're not waiting for him" As he turned to go, he found Sasuke an inch from his face.
"Ehh…Sasuke…? Is something the matter?"
"You know how dense Naruto is. There's no way he'll figure out where we are. You, being the 'responsible adult' you are should wait for him." Kakashi cringed upon hearing the words "responsible" and "adult". Then an idea popped into his head. He mentally patted himself on the back for his quick thinking.
"You're so worried about him. Why don't you wait?" This suggestion was met with the worst glare Sasuke could muster up at the moment. And that glare was pretty nasty.
"Heheheh…" Kakashi laughed mechanically. He slowly inched his hand to Sakura's arm and took off like lightning. With his free arm he waved while yelling:
"See you later, then!!!!"
Sasuke didn't even bother following. It wasn't worth his time. Or for that matter, effort. He jumped into the nearest tree and waited.
9:00 A.M.
The Bridge
"…hello…?" Naruto offered a third time. Still no answer. He put his hands on his hips irritably.
"Okay, guys. This isn't funny. I know you're out there!"
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
"…or maybe they're not hiding. Maybe they've been captured by a group of sock-stealing ninja that only I can save them from!!! Maybe…!"
Sasuke figured this would be the best time to reveal himself. Before things got out of hand. Naruto thought this would be a good time to practice glaring.
"…or maybe Sasuke was sitting in the tree the entire time hoping I would continue talking to myself because he found it amusing."
"Dobe. You're three hours late for the mission."
"Three hours? I THOUGHT I WAS ONLY TWO!!!"
"Nope, three."
"Are you serious?"
"Yes."
"Liar."
"Am not."
"Are too."
"Nuh-uh."
"Yah-huh."
"Yes, I am."
"No, you're not!"
…
…
…
"Aww, Geez! I can't believe I fell for that!!!" Naruto wailed. Sasuke smirked. Not the smirk that annoyed Naruto, but the smirk that made Naruto want to eat his soul and throw his physical remains to a group of rats that had been fed meat. Naruto sighed.
"So, what exactly is the mission?"
"You don't know?"
"Don't answer a question with a question! Where are we going and what are we doing and why?"
"We're going to the land of dirt to-"
"Sorry. The land of what?"
"Dirt."
"Are you serious?"
"As a heart attack."
Now Naruto was pretty dense, but he knew that heart-attacks weren't supposed to be a laughing matter….but dirt? Come on, who would name their village after what little boys dare each other to eat, the same stuff that most animals leave their waste, the land where----
"Naruto, I know what you're thinking. It's named the land of dirt because it's the farming capital of the world."
"Really? Does that mean there are cows there?"
"Yes."
"What kind of cows?"
"Dairy cows."
"WELL WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?!? LET'S GET A MOOOOVE ON!!!"
"Dobe."
"DON'T CALL ME THAT TEME!!!"
And with that, they set off.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters (except the ones that may randomly burst through walls screaming about dairy products)
SJ: So, you like? This is my first fanfic, so reviews would be nice. Just nothing mean, okay?
Somerandomperson: bursts through the wall DRINK MILK!
SJ: turns to Somerandomperson Why?
Somerandomperson: BECAUSE ALL OF THOSE GOT MILK COMMERCIALS SHOW FAMOUS PEOPLE WITH MILK MOUSTACHES!
SJ: Good point. walks over to the refrigerator empties milk carton in thirty seconds thumbs up THAT'S SOME GOOD STUFF!!! DRINK MOO JUICE!