It takes place after "Time Stands still" and before "Secrets" of Season 4.

I do NOT own Degrassi. If I did, Sean and Emma would have ended up together and Emma would have NEVER married Spinner. Plus she and Jay would have dealt with the unfinished business they have never talked about it after it happened.

Please Review as your normally would. NO flames or anything like that. Please.

Summary: Emma Nelson was known as the good girl at Degrassi. Sean Cameron was known as the bad boy, but he has a good heart. He cares about his friends, family and Emma who is his first love broke up Sean's always been protective of Emma, especially when Rick Murray went after her with a gun to her head for "leading him on." Luckily, Sean saved her life. What happens to Emma shortly after the shooting and will her life ever be the same? Will she find love again while Sean is in Wasaga? What will happen if he comes back for his girl? Let's just say that people find love in unexpected situations. You'll have to read to find out.

Emma's POV:
The sky was dark when we got back to Toronto, which matched my mood, as we pulled up to Ellie's apartment, which was formerly Sean and Tracker's. Ellie got out of the car as I got out to sit up front next to Jay. "Are you okay?" Jay asked, feeling his eyes on me as I stared at Ellie's apartment. She was looking at the two of us confused, since Jay and I didn't even talk the whole car ride home. It was silent from all of us since I didn't feel like talking to the girl Sean said he loved.

We just left Wasaga and Sean behind since he needs to heal in his own way and I understand that he needs to distance himself from Degrassi and all of the damage that Rick caused after the shooting, but that doesn't make his departure any less painful. I missed him already, but he has got to heal from the shooting before he can come back to Degrassi.

He's not the only one who was traumatized by everything; Jimmy got shot and is now in a wheelchair, Toby lost his friend, I could have lost Sean or my life if things had turned out differently. If Rick had the gun in a different position during the fight for the gun with Sean, then I could have lost my first love. If Rick had pulled the trigger when he had a chance, then I could be dead right now. It's not like it makes a difference. Either way, Sean would have left town, but the only difference is that Sean will come back. If I was dead, he probably would run away to Wasaga and never come back to Toronto.

"I hate him." I said, glaring at the apartment before I turned to look at his best friend. Jay looked at me curiously as I saw Ellie shake her head from her front porch. "It's not his fault, Em. He protected you." I scoffed and looked away from him with tears in my eyes.

"Maybe I should have let Rick kill me like he wanted." I muttered under my breath. "Did you say something, Greenpeace?" Jay asked, as I realized what I just said. FUCK! I should NOT have said that because I didn't want Jay-or anyone else, especially Sean-to know that's how I secretly feel. "No." I said, as he narrowed his eyes on me, but let it go.

"Do you want to go to the Dot and get something to eat before I take you home?" To be honest, I didn't want to go home at all and think about everything that's happened in the last few weeks, but I did want to go to sleep and get rid of the my pain for a few hours. I wanted to decline, but I knew that he wouldn't let it go. "Yeah, if you don't mind." He shook his head.

"I don't mind, trust me." I looked at him, wondering if I really can trust him despite the fact that he's in a gang with Alex, Amy and Towerz. Shit! What would Alex think about this? "What about Alex?" He looked at me and then laughed a little bit.

"She won't suspect anything because nothing is going on between us anyway, Greenpeace." I raised my eyebrow at him. "She knows I'm dating her, besides she wouldn't believe it even if someone told her." I looked at him and nodded. "Also, Cameron wouldn't like it if I let anything happen to you." I nodded, as we drove away from Ellie's apartment. It was silent for awhile until we pulled up to The Dot.

I sighed, as Jay looked at me in concern after he turned the car off. "I know. He's a little protective of me." Jay scoffed. "A little?" I looked at him. "He took a bullet for you, Greenpeace, because he still loves you." I flinched at the reminder. "Yeah." I said and looked away from his eyes. "Then why the hell did he walk away from us after we broke up the second time after he met you and the rest of your gang?" I asked, hurt. I couldn't believe that he would walk away from us because I couldn't spend time with him due to Snake having cancer. I thought he would understand, but I guess not.

"He knew that you needed to help out at home and he thought it was best if he walked away from your relationship because you were under too much stress as it was. He didn't want to add onto that which is why he decided to let you go. He was pissed because of the situation, but he was NOT mad at you. He was more hurt than anything. He could never be mad at you and we all know that. You could hurt him in the worst possible way and he would still love you. You mean everything to him which is why he got between you and that Psycho. He would rather get hurt then lose you. As long as you are safe and happy, he doesn't care what the hell happens to him."

But does he know what it would do to me if he died? I shook my head because I didn't want to think about that.

I know that he would never forgive himself if anything happened to me, but I also knew that he would do his best to make it right.

"Come on. I got to take you home soon before Simpson gives me a detention or something.'' I laughed as we got out of the car and walked to the Dot. He chuckled and followed me. "Hey, Spin." I said, seeing Spinner at the counter cleaning it. "Hey, Emma." He stopped when he saw Jay. "Jay." He mumbled before turning to me.

Jay and I sat down as Spinner walked up to our table. "What can I get you two?" He asked as he looked at me questionably. I shook my head, knowing what he was thinking. He smiled. "Coke with some fries and a salad on the side." I said, as I gave him the menu. Jay gave him his menu when he was done. "I'll be back." He walked away as Jay looked at me. "What?" He shook his head again. "Nothing, Greenpeace." I laughed silently as my phone beeped. Manny was asking me if I wanted to hangout soon. I accepted and then put my phone away. Jay's phone rang and he answered it. "Hello...Yeah...Don't worry...She's fine...I know..." He said before he hung up.

I raised my eyebrow at him before I looked away. Soon our food came and we started eating. It was comfortable silence. My thoughts immediately went to Sean. I wonder how he's doing in Wasaga, but my guess is that he's dealing with the shooting in his own way. I just hope he comes back when he's ready to. I still couldn't believe that Rick was about to kill me. I still have nightmares about it, but no one knows about it except me.

After we were done, Jay paid for our food and we left the Dot. I got in his car and we drove off towards my house. It was comfortable silence. "Jay?" I asked, softly, wondering if he heard me. "Yeah." He replied, looking at me for a moment before turning to the road. "Thanks." He looked confused for a moment. "For what?" He asked, as I turned to the window. "For distracting me from...well...Sean and everything." He smiled before he frowned and sighed. "Emma, are you sure you're okay?" I kept on looking out the window and nodded, lying.

Soon we made it to my house and I got out of the car with a sigh, didn't say anything to him and walked into the house. I slammed my bedroom door shut and started crying into the pillow. How could Rick do this? He ruined all of our lives and didn't even care about the fact that he held a gun to my face. I laughed bitterly. He said that he loved me...he doesn't. If he did then he wouldn't have put a gun to my head. If he loved Terri, then he would have never hurt her. He destroyed all of our lives and I don't know if it will ever got back to normal for any of us, especially Jimmy, Toby, Sean and myself. I didn't know what to do anymore because I feel like I'm losing every inch of myself. I feel numb, but at the same time, I cried myself to sleep, wondering if life will ever be the same again.