Title: The Plan

Author: SP

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nickelodeon and Dan Schneider and whoever else own everything.

Rating: T

Pairing: Drake/Josh

Word Count: 3102

Summary: There are some rumors going 'round Belleview High School about Drake Parker and Josh Nichols, and it's all Megan's fault. Stupid internet…but is it completely a bad thing? Takes place after "Josh Runs Into Oprah."
Author's Notes: This is my longest D&J fic ever. Actually close to my longest ANY fic ever.

Josh knew that something was going on that Thursday morning. There were more whispers that ended abruptly when he walked by than usual. He'd already detoured into the boys' room to make sure he didn't have anything weird stuck to him, and he didn't think enough people knew anything about Oprah that they'd be talking about his running her over.

So that left only one logical conclusion…the only problem was, Josh didn't know what it was.

He entered his next class, and had barely sat down at a desk when Drake barreled into the room. Josh looked quizzically at his stepbrother. Drake wasn't in this class. In fact, Josh knew for a fact that Drake had class on the other end of the building and up a floor.

"What're you--" he began, but Drake cut him off.

"Josh, we need to talk, NOW!" He grabbed Josh's arm, then dropped it like it burned when the whispers started up again.

Nonplussed, Josh stood up and started to follow Drake into the hallway. "Bring your laptop," Drake ordered. Josh grabbed the case, and then exited the classroom.

"Okay dude, what is going on? Do you know why everyone is--?"

"Yeah. Go to Megan's site," Drake said grimly.

Josh opened his laptop, got onto the internet, then typed in the address. "No way," he groaned when he saw the page.

There was Drake.

And him.

And they were kissing.

He knew the circumstances…but no one else would.

And Megan, evil demon-child that she was, had waited nearly a week before posting the picture, to lull them into a false sense of security.

And she had captioned the picture with a simple "Brotherly Love."

Question mark.

"Yeah. And I guess one person saw it, and told everyone else. Have you heard any of the rumors going around?"

Josh shook his head. "No. I mean, I've heard people talking, but not what they've been saying."

"Great. So we can't even correct people."

Josh closed his laptop. "Well…maybe it won't be so bad."

"Yeah, I doubt it. Do you know what people are probably saying? They're probably saying we're in a gay, incestish relationship together." He tried to put as much disdain in his voice as possible--not that he knew what disdain was.

"Incestuous," Josh corrected automatically.

Drake made a who-cares sort of gesture. "Whatever," he replied, dropping the act.

"Besides, even if we were, we wouldn't be."

Drake stared at Josh.

"What?" Josh asked defensively.

Drake shook his head. "Dude, okay, that didn't even make sense."

Josh made an irritated noise. "Okay, we're stepbrothers, right? So even if we were…y'know…then it wouldn't be incest. We're not blood related. I think--putting aside the whole gay marriage issue--that we could even get married."

"Because that's so comforting," Drake muttered sarcastically. "It doesn't matter. People are still saying it. Probably."

Realization dawned on Josh. "Um, you dragging me out of class probably didn't help matters."

Drake groaned. "Yeah. Okay, go back to class, I'll go to mine, and then we can figure this out after school."

"I work until ten," Josh reminded him. "You could come by the Premiere--"

"Hey, don't take it personally, but let's…put some distance between us, okay?" Drake interrupted.

Josh gaped at his stepbrother. "What? That's not fair. I didn't do anything to you."

"Actually, you did." Drake paused. "Are we fighting? This is stupid. Just--don't you think we should?" he asked anxiously

"What, fight?" Josh asked moodily.

"You know what I mean."

Josh sighed. "Yeah, I do. Okay. But just until we fix this."

"Deal. See you at home." Then Drake strolled off in the complete opposite direction of his class.

Josh shook his head and returned to his own.

---

Hours later, Josh entered the room he shared with Drake after his shift at the Premiere. "I overheard some people talking," he announced.

Drake looked up from his perch on an amp where he was strumming his guitar. "Okay, and…?"

Josh heaved an impatient sigh, then removed his red vest and began unbuttoning his blue shirt. "About us," he elaborated.

Drake groaned and set his guitar down. He crossed the room and flopped down onto the couch. "Great. What did they say?"

"It's worse than what you predicted," Josh said grimly, shrugging out of his work shirt and into a T-shirt. "From what I heard, I'm, and I quote here, 'an incestuous faggot' and you, apparently, are my "bitch," since I'm obviously kissing you in the picture, I guess."

"Great. Just great. Can you believe Megan?"

"She's evil," Josh agreed, pulling on a pair of pajama pants and then joining Drake on the couch.

"I mean," Drake went on, "it's bad enough that she pulls pranks on us, which have been getting more and more dangerous, bad enough that she humiliates us on a regular basis--but to get rumors started about us? Not even dumb ones, like that one I started about you eating squirrels, but bad, serious ones?"

Josh nodded. "Yeah, I know, right? …Hey!" he added.

Drake flashed a winning grin. "Yes?" he asked innocently.

"You started that squirrel rumor?"

"Yeah," Drake replied, in that way he had.

Josh glared at him, then sighed and leaned back. "So what're we going to do?"

Drake looked at Josh incredulously. "What do you mean, what're we gonna do? We're going to tell anyone who asks that we're not gay, or involved with each other. And until people get the message, I think we should make out with as many girls as possible."

"You do that anyway," Josh pointed out.

"Yeah, but now it's really important."

Josh hesitated, and then asked Drake, "What if…what if we are?"

Drake frowned. "What if we are what, gay and involved with each other? Obviously we're not."

Josh took a deep breath. "Well, what if I am?"

"Oh." Drake paused. For some reason, he seemed happy to hear it. "Well…okay then. Don't tell people you're not."

"You don't care?" Josh asked in amazement.

"Not really, no," Drake replied.

Josh flung himself sideways and hugged Drake tightly. "You're the best."

"Why, because I don't hate you?" Drake choked out past Josh's grip.

"Yeah," Josh replied, letting him go.

Drake shook his head. "Like I'd do that to you-ouuu're gay!"

Josh looked at Drake in alarm. "Yes…We just established that."

"No, you don't understand. I have just figured out how we solve our problems."

Josh thought for a few seconds then said flatly, "If you plan to out me to the entire school and make everyone think I have a semi-incestuous crush on you and forced you to kiss me, then forget it."

"Hey, it was a good plan!" Drake said defensively.

"Not really!" Josh replied.

"Come on, it's only like, one-third a lie."

Josh made an irritated sound. "Yes, but one, I don't want to be out, and two, that still makes me the object of weird rumors."

"True that," Drake said, then grimaced. "I'm picking up expressions from you. That one's not bad, but some of the stuff you say…"

Josh shoved Drake's shoulder. "Come on."

Drake shrugged. "Well, I also got 'hug me, brotha' from you, and that's all right, sometimes."

"Sometimes?"

"Yeah. Like…not in public?" Drake grinned to let Josh know he was only teasing.

"Hmph."

Drake suddenly turned serious. "We still have the rumor problem."

"What bothers you most about it?" Josh asked curiously. "The fact that people think we're gay, or that we're involved?"

"I…I'm not sure. Both, kinda? I don't know, it's like…people's attitude? And maybe I--I don't know."

Josh frowned in confusion. "You're not making a whole lot of sense…"

Drake leaned back into the cushions. "I know. Um, Josh…"

Josh sighed. Here it comes, he thought. Some idiotic question that only Drake could come up with.

"How do you know you're…gay?"

Okay, not as bad as it could have been.

"I don't know. I just kind of…" Josh trailed off.

"Well, yeah, but you must have known, right? How did you know?"

Josh stood up and began pacing. "I don't know. It was just like…well, I didn't really feel anything with Mindy, and I thought maybe it was just me, so I never said anything, but I guess it was really because I just don't like girls, and then I had some dreams that--"

"I don't need to know!" Drake said hastily.

"Like I was going to tell you," Josh snapped. "I don't ask you about the x-rated fantasies that play across your dreams!"

Drake cocked his head and looked at Josh. "You know, somehow I never pictured you as the type to have x-rated dreams."

Josh blushed. "Oh, I've had many an x-rated dream."

Drake blinked. "Weird…so you're not actually as innocent as I thought."

"Focus, Drake!" Josh ordered. "We still have to deal with everyone thinking that we're getting it on in our spare time!"

"Right. Well…maybe we should sleep on it. I know you like to go to sleep by eleven thirty on school nights."

Josh shot a grateful smile at his stepbrother. "Thanks. And hey, we'll figure a way out of this. We always do."

---

The next day, Josh groaned as he flung his backpack to the floor. "I hate people," he muttered. "I hate school."

Walter looked up from where he was sitting on the couch. "Did you have a bad day at school too?"

"Too?" Josh questioned.

"Yeah. Drake…" Walter paused and looked around. "Drake got in a fight," he whispered conspiratorially.

"Oh, man…why are you whispering?" he added.

Walter looked around again. "He asked me not to tell you. I told him I didn't see how he was going to hide it, I mean, he has a black eye and--"

Josh immediately pivoted on his heel and dashed for the stairs. He ran up as quickly as possible, then, seeing that the door to their room was wide open, made for the bathroom and opened the door.

Drake jumped guiltily and put down the foundation he was using to cover the bruise around his eye. "Hey," he greeted Josh, pseudo-casually.

Josh sighed. "What did you do?"

"Got beat up?" Drake suggested.

Josh sighed again. "And why were you trying to hide it from me?"

Drake shrugged. "I don't know…I didn't want you to worry."

"Is this still related to the kissing thing?"

Drake nodded slowly. "Yeah…"

"Then it's my problem just as much as yours," Josh pointed out. "What happened?"

"Let's not hang out in the bathroom," Drake replied, then brushed past Josh and started towards their room. Josh followed, closing the blue door behind him, then crossing and standing over Drake where he'd sprawled on the couch.

"Do you have to sit like that?" he asked plaintively. Drake was half-laying over more than half the couch, with one leg up on the back of it, the other dangling toward the floor.

"Mm-hm," Drake answered. Then, "There's still room for you. Just sit between my legs."

Josh did so, one of his legs touching Drake's hanging one. "You know," he pointed out, "it's probably things like this that make people…think things."

Drake tensed, but didn't move.

Josh looked down at him with some concern, and then asked again, "So what happened?"

Drake shrugged as best he could in a prone position. "I don't know, some idiots just sort of jumped me. I didn't have time to react."

"I'm sorry," Josh said miserably.

"Hey, it's not your fault," Drake replied immediately.

"Yeah it is," Josh murmured.

Drake swung his leg around Josh's head and sat up. "How do you figure?" he demanded.

"Well, I kissed you, right?"

"So what? It would have been fine if Megan hadn't been there with her camera."

Josh sighed and let his head fall back against the back of the couch. "I don't get why people even believe the rumors. I mean, it wasn't like I kissed you kissed you. That was--I don't know, a super-excited thank-you reaction. If it was a real kiss, there would have been a lot more tongue and a lot less one-sidedness."

Drake looked at Josh, a grin playing in the corners of his lips. "I was kinda wondering if that was how you kissed Mindy…"

"Of course not," Josh snapped, lifting his head.

"Oh good, cause that would have explained your multiple breakups."

They sat in silence for a minute, before Drake broke it.

"Um, Josh?"

Josh sighed again. It was another Drake-question. "What?"

"Have you…you know, kissed a guy yet?"

Josh blushed. "Yeah, actually."

"Who?" Drake asked with interest.

Josh shook his head. "Nuh-uh, it's not my place to out him to you."

"Well…what was it like?" Drake persisted.

"I'm sure you know what kissing is like," Josh replied.

Drake looked away, then back. "Yeah, but…what's kissing a guy like?"

"Kissing is kissing."

"No it's not," Drake countered. "Girls are…soft. You have to make sure you don't break them. But guys aren't. So…wouldn't kissing a guy be rougher? More…I don't know, more something?"

Josh raised his eyebrows. "You've given that some thought."

Drake blushed a little.

"Look, I've only kissed that one guy."

"But what was it like? Couldn't you--"

"Drake!" Josh interrupted, standing suddenly.

"What?"

"Okay, if you're not, don't take this the wrong way, but are you trying to get me to kiss you again, for real?"

Drake flushed darker. "Maybe?"

"Why?" Josh asked. "Because you know I'm gay and you're curious?"

"No," Drake replied. "I wouldn't use you like that."

Josh made a face. "Uh, you've used me before!"

Drake gestured helplessly. "Yeah, I know, but not like that. Josh…"

"It's probably best if we don't," Josh said gently, turning and heading toward their fridge. "Because I might--never mind."

"Josh, I--I can't stop thinking about you," Drake blurted.

Josh froze. "What?" he asked, turning around. "Yesterday, you were horrified that people thought we were--"

"I know, but I--Josh, I don't understand what I'm even feeling right now, okay?"

"So kissing me is going to help?"

"I don't know, okay? I know it's wrong to feel like this. But Josh, I just…" he trailed off, biting his lip. "You know what? Just forget it. Please." He stood up and started to head for the door.

"Wait!" Josh said suddenly.

Drake closed his eyes, and then turned back. "What?"

"You really--"

"Yeah," Drake said shortly.

"I was going to say before," Josh said quietly, "that I might fall in love with you."

Drake blinked at him. "So you--"

"Yeah."

They stared awkwardly at each other for a minute. Then Josh chuckled nervously. "Man, is this teen-movieish or what?"

"Incest isn't a regular part of my movie-going," Drake replied.

"I told you, it's not incest."

"Right."

"So, movieish? Two people like each other, one doesn't talk about it, the other implies the opposite? Don't you think?"

"I guess…"

They stood there for another moment, and then Josh said hesitantly, "Um, you still want me to kiss you?"

Drake shrugged, a tiny smile pulling the corners of his lips. "Do you want to?"

"Yes," Josh said emphatically.

"Then yes."

Josh took a few steps toward Drake, and then hesitated.

Drake sighed, shook his head, then crossed the last few feet and pressed his lips against Josh's. Almost immediately, he pulled away. "Okay, we've got to sit down or something."

Josh looked confused. "Why?"

Drake shuffled his feet. "I might have bruised my ribs today…? So stretching up to reach kind of hurts…?"

Josh immediately looked contrite. "I'm sorry."

"I told you, not your fault. Come on." Drake led Josh back to the couch.

This time, Josh didn't hesitate, just leaned in and captured Drake's lips in a kiss that did indeed have more tongue and less one-sidedness than the kiss on his birthday.

After a few moments, they separated. Drake looked stunned. "Wow. You might be a better kisser than me."

Josh blushed.

"Hey, Josh?" Drake asked.

"Yeah?"

"Something you said earlier, about me acting like I didn't like you?"

"Yeah?" Josh said again.

Drake worried at his lip. "Well, what did you mean?"

Josh shrugged. "Well, you acted really…I don't know. Like the idea of us being involved was horrible and the worst thing you ever heard."

"Oh. I guess I just didn't want to…I don't know. And I think the worst thing was that other people thought we're…that's what really bothered me. Bothers me, I mean. There are still rumors."

"Are they true now?" Josh asked, trying and failing to sound merely curious.

Drake smiled. "I hope so. But Josh…" His smile faded. "I…if I just stop dating girls…"

"I know."

"So…are you cool with it if I keep doing what I do?"

"I guess so."

"But you know," Drake murmured, sliding so close to Josh he was practically in his lap, "you're the one I really want. And…" He paused, wondering if he should say what had popped into his head.

"And?" Josh prompted.

"And I'm yours," Drake said quickly.

Josh would have grinned, but he was too busy kissing Drake thoroughly to do it.

"Ha!" Megan suddenly shouted, popping into view from where she'd hidden in the closet.

Drake and Josh sprang apart instantly.

"Megan!" they shouted in unison.

"Yes?" she replied innocently.

"What are you doing?" Josh demanded.

She smirked at him. "Watching my plan work."

Drake eyed her suspiciously. "What plan?"

"My plan to get the two of you to stop pining and do something about it," she answered.

The two boys looked at each other, then back at Megan. "So you, like, knew?" Josh asked.

"Yup."

"And you wanted to help us?" The very concept seemed foreign to him.

Megan shrugged. "You might be boobs, but you are my brothers. Don't worry. I'll take care of the rumors."

"Wait, what do you get out of this?" Drake asked.

Megan grinned evilly. "I'm so glad you asked. Since I'm the only one who knows about you two, it looks like you'll be doing my chores, and my homework, and whatever else I say unless you want everyone to know, for real." She looked at her watch. "But you can start tomorrow. See ya, boobs."

Josh looked at Drake after Megan left. "You know, she might be evil, but she's kinda nice…sometimes."

"In a weird way," Drake agreed.

"But she did help us out."

"In a weird way," Drake repeated.

Josh shrugged. "Does it matter? We know now. And we have a whole evening free of Megan."

Drake smiled slowly. "Oh yeah, we do. What should we do with it?"

Josh grinned back. "Oh, I have some ideas."

Drake's smile turned predatory. "So do I. So do I."

END