Disclaimer: I use some of the show's original dialogue to help set the scene, but I do not own anything or have any rights regarding BTVS. Thank you for reading!

5 x 18

Spike laid on the cool slab of cement that hid the entrance to his crypt, completely still.

What an odd word - still - it's pronounced as if the word is still itself. Not moving beyond the lips that spoke it.

Still I lay,
but still I hurt

Still my mind,
but still I wonder

Still my tongue,
but still I lie

Still my heartbeats,
but still my heart beats...

Closing his eyes, he forced the poem away. 121 undead years hadn't taken away his inner poet. He tried, oh how he bloody tried to sever that piece of his human life. A piece that held memories of mockery that found ways to haunt him today, but like the lingering smoke from his cigarettes, this piece of humanity lingered with him still...

The sharp sound of the crypt door swinging open followed by quick-paced footsteps snapped him out of his reverie, but he kept his eyes closed. A shallow inhale told him who had approached. So did its voice.

"Spike! You're covered in sexy wounds!"

It because, though admirably similar, the robot before him was a poor imitation of his golden haired angel.

Slowly, he opened his eyes and pushed himself until he was sitting up with his legs hanging over the side of the concrete tomb. Every muscle that so much as twitched felt like what he would imagine getting hit by a train would feel like. Now that he thought about it, there wasn't much difference between the Hell goddess and a speeding train.

"Yeah... I feel real sexy." Even being sodding sarcastic hurt. "Where have you been?"

It responded pleasantly, "I fell down and got confused. Willow fixed me. She's gay."

That wasn't expected. "Will fixed you? I'd have thought they'd melt you into scrap."

Buffy's little Scooby gang didn't like him admiring her as it was. Surely they wouldn't send his twisted therapy for loneliness back to him without any consequences. Perhaps Will placed a bomb inside the Buffybot when she fixed it so that it would explode in front of his eyes. Perhaps she also placed a camera in the bot and they were all laughing at his weakened state right now. Bugger 'em.

"They were confused too." The bot explained. "Do you want to ravage me now?"

The question was asked no differently than if he were being asked if he wanted a hot cuppa. It lacked the passion that he always imagined his Buffy having when speaking those words...

"Give us a minute. Cuts and bones need mending." The familiar tingling of his skin knitting itself back together had been going on for an hour strong and his moments were still futile. Sex wasn't an option at the moment.

The bot furrowed her brows, "Why did you let that Glory hurt you?"

A question he both knew and didn't know how to answer. Why? Because he enjoyed having knowledge that others thirsted for. Because he reveled in the control it gave him. Because he found humor in the sarcasm and mockery that drove Glory mad. Spike was only a short difference from the word "spite", after all.

Because he wanted to impress Buffy, a woman not easily impressed. Because he wanted to prove himself to her, though he shouldn't have to prove himself to anyone. Because he loved her.

But mostly because the blasted bit of humanity that haunted him told him it was the right thing to do.

How was he supposed to explain all that to a robot?

"She wanted to know who the key was." He settled with saying.

"Well, I can tell her and then you won't have to - "

"No!" He interrupted quickly, leaning forward incase he had to physically stop the bot. Did it even know that Dawn was the key? He wasn't going to take that chance.

His abrupt movement had sent the blood that had pooled in his lungs sloshing about, causing him to cough out his continued response, "You can't - ever. Glory never finds out."

"Why?" The bot blinked.

Another difficult question. He had to give credit were it was due - The wanker that created her was genius.

"Because... " He started, struggling for words, "Buffy... the other not-so-pleasant Buffy... Anything happen to Dawn - it would destroy her. Couldn't live for her being in that much pain."

His muscles unclenched at the honesty of his words. Saying them aloud was as remedial as his advanced healing.

"I'd let Glory kill me first. Nearly bloody did."

Surprise flashed through the bot's eyes. She leaned forward slightly, looking at him as if seeing him for the first time.

What a human thing to do... he mused.

It was when her soft, warm lips gently touched his that he knew.

The bot wasn't able to admire his actions - not really. Nor was it programmed to give him simple, but brilliantly sweet kisses.

He pulled away, surprised. He opened his eyes as much as the swelling around them would allow, staring at the woman standing so close to him. How could he have not realized sooner?

It was her. His Buffy.

He froze at the realization that it was her who had heard his intimate confession earlier, instead of the bot. Bracing for insults, he covered his shock with his usual flippancy.

"And my robot?"

She had begun to leave, but stopped at his question.

"The robot is gone." Turning to answer me, her pink skirt fluttering around her gorgeous legs as she did. "The robot was gross and obscene."

He admitted that he had that one coming. Loneliness leads a man to madness...

"It wasn't supposed to - " He started, attempting to defend himself.

"Don't." Buffy cut him off. "That... thing... it - it wasn't even real."

She turned back around to leave, allowing him to hang his head without her seeing. He hated looking weak in front of her.

Once more Buffy paused in her steps, surprising him again. She turned slightly so that he could see the profile of her petite face.

"What you did... for me and Dawn... that was real."

At that, he lifted his head and she turned further to fully meet his eyes.

"I won't forget it."

She left him then. Left him in pain, confused and inexplicably happy as she always seemed to do.