This is my second fan fiction and I decided something with suicide was the way to go.
I hope you enjoy. Updates will be coming soon!
And please read and respond.
Summary:
Pain, death, and then bliss; I always found that those words flowed in perfect harmony. No one cares about me. No one will miss me. The cliff's edge down at La Push is where my nightmare will finally end; where solace will be uncovered.
Warning: OOC, AH, AU.
BPOV
I was at the edge. Any time I moved even the slightest of a step small pebbles would fall to the violent water below. The mid-summer wind blew my brown wavy hair this way and that.
Moving my line of vision from the salty sea to the horizon I could tell that the sun was starting to peak over the edge of the water. The sky was turning from dark blue to a purple at an alarming rate.
I knew that if I didn't do this soon, I would never have the chance to do it again. I hated my life. I was never pretty but not ugly and didn't have an award for my personality in my future.
Truth be told; I didn't have anything in my future.
The nothing that I wanted to step into seemed so much better than the life I was living. My father Charlie always looked at me with a pained expression and seemed to avoid me. Not that it was my fault; I reminded him of my mother.
My mom Renee had gotten a divorce with my father 2 years ago. It ripped him apart. I was living with my mother until she found a new man, Phil. The moment I saw how she looked at him, I knew I no longer had a place. I knew she loved me but that still didn't mean she wanted me.
I had no other family that I knew of. I was mostly sheltered. The only person I hung out with was Alice Brandon before the vicious rumor that I had been sleeping with her boyfriend at the time went around. Lauren was just jealous that Alice had the most popular boyfriend in the school. What hurt the most is that Alice actually took the absurd rumor into consideration.
Like I would ever even sleep with anyone. Most people had a brain and ignored the constant lies spewing from the envious teen's mouth. It really stung.
I had been having an odd day and things seemed a bit off. Alice agreed when I mentioned it that morning. So when she asked me about it, I yelled at her.
And that was the end of that.
I looked down to the water again. The water seemed to become more brutal as the morning continued on. I wondered how much it would hurt to feel my bones breaking underneath me. How long it would take me to die? Who would be the unlucky fellow to find me? How long it would I be rotting in the ice cold water? Would I be taken out to sea? How much would I bleed? Will my eyes be open or closed?
My thoughts trailed off as the sun started to arrive into the now Trix yogurt colored sky.
I still had found hope and strength with all the bad that had happened. What pushed me to the breaking point was Jacob.
Jacob. Oh, Jacob. You tear me limb from limb. I saw him as a friend; a best friend. We spent so much time in his garage after The Rumor; or so I liked to call it.
He would work on numerous cars to get a little cash and I would sit there and talk to him. It was always pleasant and Jake always knew how to make me laugh.
But with my amazing luck; he didn't see me as just a friend. He told me he was in love with me.
Love.
It was just something I couldn't comprehend. I had friends; nothing more.
Telling him I didn't feel the same way shocked him at first. Then he became angry. He shouted and threw tools this way and that. He was relentless. No amount of talking was going to stop him from expressing the pain he had felt.
Only when a wrench connected with my left arm did he stop. But the damage was already done. I didn't think it was possible to lose both of your friends in the span of one month, but it sure was.
Now I felt like I had to do this. It had been a month since the last string was cut. Without any strings left there was nothing to live for. Just more pain and suffering.
No one would miss me. None of the ones I cared about were likely to find me. I felt like I was doing other people some sort of good. And if I was helping another; it was all the much more worth it.
I was going to jump. Not step or dive; jump. I was going to bend my now stiff knees and jump from the edge where pebbles fell from my movements. I was going to sin. And it somewhat surprised me that I didn't care. I felt numb. No real expression. That was drained from me long ago.
I was not going to cut my wrists in a tub of water; I was going to jump.
With Charlie in California to go through some more police training and no friends it was the perfect time. The moment couldn't possibly get better than this.
What I would hope to be my last breath came in and filled my lungs to their fullest. The sun was now halfway up and shone fiercely into my squinting eyes. My feet shuffled a little farther to the edge. More pebbles escaped to the raging waters below. Now I was going to jump.
Death.
It was almost like a dream; something that couldn't be so close. It was nice to be face to face with mine. I felt like I was about to be crowned queen of England.
A shiver rose through my fragile spine as I bent my knees.
With a quick breath I jumped.
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